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As a movie fanatic, I can say without exception that Brit movies of the past 15 years suck.
And suck hard.
Even Bollywood produces better films than we do, which is saying something.
So why are they so god-awful?
Lack of imagination.
We have 3 genres, without exception. And they are:
Romantic Comedy:
This will star either Hugh Grant or John Hannah and some American woman being “real” and taking poor money for credibility.
Plot?
Bloke falls for woman, she doesn’t feel the same. But she will. Minor obstacles to over-come ending with declaration of affection usually
(a) In the rain
(b) In public place ending with spontaneous applause and smiles from old people.
Period Drama:
This will star Emma Thompson, Colin Firth and Celia Imrie.
Plot?
Upper-Class woman feel trapped by society and is drawn towards unsuitable lower-class bloke that gardens or sells meat.
Parents disapprove initially but will thaw toward end. Meddling companions will attempt to sabotage course of true love, but will fail.
American love this tosh and think we all still wear white lace dresses and ride horses, whilst the men have massive sideburns and stand in front of fires drinking port.
Gangster Flick:
This will star
(a) Sit-com star desperate for credible acting debut
(b) Several faces from old kids programmes like Press Gang
Plot?
Cockney villains bungle a heist/bank job/hijacking and spend the next 60 mins swearing at each other and being chased by inept policeman to the latest indie-band theme tune.
People think this is funny and original because they have never seen The Long Good Friday or Get Carter.
Even Michael Caine said “Me and Bob Hoskins made the best 3 British Gangster movies, and we were in one together. The rest is laughable”
That is why British movies are bad, Guy Ritchie is NOT the exception. If you think he’s cool and real, go watch Mean Streets, Goodfellas, Pulp Fiction and Long Good Friday to see who got there 1st and did it better.
And suck hard.
Even Bollywood produces better films than we do, which is saying something.
So why are they so god-awful?
Lack of imagination.
We have 3 genres, without exception. And they are:
Romantic Comedy:
This will star either Hugh Grant or John Hannah and some American woman being “real” and taking poor money for credibility.
Plot?
Bloke falls for woman, she doesn’t feel the same. But she will. Minor obstacles to over-come ending with declaration of affection usually
(a) In the rain
(b) In public place ending with spontaneous applause and smiles from old people.
Period Drama:
This will star Emma Thompson, Colin Firth and Celia Imrie.
Plot?
Upper-Class woman feel trapped by society and is drawn towards unsuitable lower-class bloke that gardens or sells meat.
Parents disapprove initially but will thaw toward end. Meddling companions will attempt to sabotage course of true love, but will fail.
American love this tosh and think we all still wear white lace dresses and ride horses, whilst the men have massive sideburns and stand in front of fires drinking port.
Gangster Flick:
This will star
(a) Sit-com star desperate for credible acting debut
(b) Several faces from old kids programmes like Press Gang
Plot?
Cockney villains bungle a heist/bank job/hijacking and spend the next 60 mins swearing at each other and being chased by inept policeman to the latest indie-band theme tune.
People think this is funny and original because they have never seen The Long Good Friday or Get Carter.
Even Michael Caine said “Me and Bob Hoskins made the best 3 British Gangster movies, and we were in one together. The rest is laughable”
That is why British movies are bad, Guy Ritchie is NOT the exception. If you think he’s cool and real, go watch Mean Streets, Goodfellas, Pulp Fiction and Long Good Friday to see who got there 1st and did it better.
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Hurrah!
I've read the comments that followed and I would like to add:
Just because I dont like a movie, it DOES make it bad. My word is final and absolute.
Only joking kids, relax.
I agree that Hollywood chucks a load of pap out as well.
There are some decent Brit Flicks, but you have to search for them, they're not mainstream release material.
I've seen and enjoyed:
Sexy Beast
Ken Loach & Mike Leigh movies. (yes they're bleak but at least realistic).
Withnail and I
The Full Monty...stereotypical Northern plucky folk winning against the odds.
Again.
What is it with Northern England in movies?
I tried to watch Billy Elliot, and I just saw Flashdance and Footloose all over it.
Guy Ritchie...man, if Scorcese doesnt sue soon, then there's no justice in this world.
I kind of enjoyed them, but sat there thinking
"That bits from Mean Streets, that's Goodfellas, that's Boxcar Bertha, that's Alice Doesnt Live Here Anymore..."
Just seemed plagaristic to the extreme.
But I'm in the minority.
Hollywood is no better.
Bottom line is movies are money.
What works will dictate what gets made.
Directors I love:
David Lynch
Steven Soderburgh
The Coen Bros
And some others I forget now...
Basically, in summary.....
Brit Movies that you can wander into giga-plex enormodome and watch are just not very good.
But I will change that...oh yes
I've read the comments that followed and I would like to add:
Just because I dont like a movie, it DOES make it bad. My word is final and absolute.
Only joking kids, relax.
I agree that Hollywood chucks a load of pap out as well.
There are some decent Brit Flicks, but you have to search for them, they're not mainstream release material.
I've seen and enjoyed:
Sexy Beast
Ken Loach & Mike Leigh movies. (yes they're bleak but at least realistic).
Withnail and I
The Full Monty...stereotypical Northern plucky folk winning against the odds.
Again.
What is it with Northern England in movies?
I tried to watch Billy Elliot, and I just saw Flashdance and Footloose all over it.
Guy Ritchie...man, if Scorcese doesnt sue soon, then there's no justice in this world.
I kind of enjoyed them, but sat there thinking
"That bits from Mean Streets, that's Goodfellas, that's Boxcar Bertha, that's Alice Doesnt Live Here Anymore..."
Just seemed plagaristic to the extreme.
But I'm in the minority.
Hollywood is no better.
Bottom line is movies are money.
What works will dictate what gets made.
Directors I love:
David Lynch
Steven Soderburgh
The Coen Bros
And some others I forget now...
Basically, in summary.....
Brit Movies that you can wander into giga-plex enormodome and watch are just not very good.
But I will change that...oh yes
Congratulations on winning Goatboy! ...
Good topic man! :)
Good topic man! :)
Meka_Dragon wrote:
Yes,
> but if I don't like a movie, I'm going to think it's a bad film, and
> I will say it is.
Not at all... I dont like sports games... but I can recognise that SSX is a good title...
I'm not the worlds biggest fan of Classical music or operah, but I can understand other peoples point of view on the subject...
Just because I dont like the flick, doesnt mean I think its a bad movie... just not my sort of thing...
:)
Yes,
> but if I don't like a movie, I'm going to think it's a bad film, and
> I will say it is.
Not at all... I dont like sports games... but I can recognise that SSX is a good title...
I'm not the worlds biggest fan of Classical music or operah, but I can understand other peoples point of view on the subject...
Just because I dont like the flick, doesnt mean I think its a bad movie... just not my sort of thing...
:)
Armatige Shanks wrote:
>Just because you dont like a movie, doesnt mean its bad film... just not
> what your into...
Yes, but if I don't like a movie, I'm going to think it's a bad film, and I will say it is.
And on the subject of The Full Monty I didn't dislike it because it was about blokes taking their kit off. It would be pretty pathetic if I decided that it would be 'gay' to like such a movie.
Instead I watched it. Yes there were funny moments, but I thought that the lives of all of the characters were just so depressing! I really didn't want to see this side of their lives, I didn't find it funny, and it put a downer on the whole thing.
>Just because you dont like a movie, doesnt mean its bad film... just not
> what your into...
Yes, but if I don't like a movie, I'm going to think it's a bad film, and I will say it is.
And on the subject of The Full Monty I didn't dislike it because it was about blokes taking their kit off. It would be pretty pathetic if I decided that it would be 'gay' to like such a movie.
Instead I watched it. Yes there were funny moments, but I thought that the lives of all of the characters were just so depressing! I really didn't want to see this side of their lives, I didn't find it funny, and it put a downer on the whole thing.
Yes, British films are bad.
All those terrible romantic tales where the guy gets the girl and that slushy music plays in the background, can't stand them. You wouldn't catch the Americans making movies like that, no sir.
There are plenty of trashy British movies, made by people who actually care about films rather than the money, how about that? That's just stupid, I mean the Americans have the right idea, they just make movies to make money and pander to the Holywood bigwigs and the incredible brainless audiences. That's the way to make movies.
Oh yes, there are a few good British movies, those that have lots of blood and guts are good. You don't want to have any of that romance stuff, it does things to your head and it's not realistic is it? I mean, who gets a girlfriend by having a sense of humour and having fun? No-one, you have to fight and shoot people to look impressive and get the girls don't you? Yeah! And that Full Monty, I wouldn't have any of that, people would talk, wouldn't they? And I'm not big enough to be comfortable with my sexuality to be watching stuff like that.
Sarcastic. Me? noooo.
All those terrible romantic tales where the guy gets the girl and that slushy music plays in the background, can't stand them. You wouldn't catch the Americans making movies like that, no sir.
There are plenty of trashy British movies, made by people who actually care about films rather than the money, how about that? That's just stupid, I mean the Americans have the right idea, they just make movies to make money and pander to the Holywood bigwigs and the incredible brainless audiences. That's the way to make movies.
Oh yes, there are a few good British movies, those that have lots of blood and guts are good. You don't want to have any of that romance stuff, it does things to your head and it's not realistic is it? I mean, who gets a girlfriend by having a sense of humour and having fun? No-one, you have to fight and shoot people to look impressive and get the girls don't you? Yeah! And that Full Monty, I wouldn't have any of that, people would talk, wouldn't they? And I'm not big enough to be comfortable with my sexuality to be watching stuff like that.
Sarcastic. Me? noooo.
Overall though... I suspect were talking about British mainstream movies...
Since commercialism has become much more prominent British movies are creating less niche flicks and more popular stuff.
Although to be fair, the American movies we see at the cinema over here are a fraction of those released in the States... what we receive is, essentially, the best of the bunch... which, given the misses to hits ratio makes or pretty sorry viewing.
Currently British movies are in a transitional period. Since the collapse of the British movie industry in the late 60's early 70's. British movies, notably from the mid 70’s to the early nineties, consistently and often dramatically flopped in the Cinema... most would have been forgotten failures had it not been for Video, which has successfully reprised many otherwise ignored classics (pretty much ALL the film companies from that period have closed their doors).
It is as a result of the success of a number of British hits over the past ten years, that British movie industry is able to be attempting to re-define itself, as well as grow into a consistent profit making enterprise.
In music, people who dislike popular music are able to enjoy one of many rich and well-established alternative music scenes...
British movies lack this luxury, and have done for some time now. The industry is currently still too small to validly produce both mainstream movie presentations and have a strong alternative, independent scene.
National cinematic releases are only ever made to make money, and although the number of money making production companies has been growing significantly over the past decade we are still a long way off from being strong enough to risk producing cult interest movies.
The British movie industry is still growing, and definitely re-learning, often making the same mistake it did in the past. Fortunately however, due to the successes of a number of British movies over the past few years, it is still only just possible for the industry to be able to afford to learn from a couple of bad mistakes (e.g. Honest). It’s important that production companies still keep on their toes to ensure the British movie industry doesn’t sink back into the quagmire
All said and done, there hasn’t really been a ‘real’ cult classic movie from anywhere for quite sometime, (at least, nothing with a sense of humour, and to be honest, what’s the point of a classic that hasn’t got a sense of humour?). And, since the real classics never really come along all that frequently, there’s bound to be one or two coming pretty soon.
I guess what I’m trying to say (eventually) is that although the British movie industry isn’t living on the edge, it is surviving, and for the meantime, until it gets a firm footing, that should be enough.
Companies like Hand Made films created some great movies, but, at the end of the day, they all went bust… If we wait for the industry to get a little strength, it will be able to support itself with mainstream flicks, and indulge itself with limited interest stuff, and not go broke in the process… all good things come to those who wait, don’t try and run before you can walk, putting the cart before the horse and other such things…
Besides, I’m rather partial to the odd romantic comedy, though largely conventional; it does provide a fantastic vehicle for a wide variety of comedy… At least they’ll do until the next big thing comes along…
Since commercialism has become much more prominent British movies are creating less niche flicks and more popular stuff.
Although to be fair, the American movies we see at the cinema over here are a fraction of those released in the States... what we receive is, essentially, the best of the bunch... which, given the misses to hits ratio makes or pretty sorry viewing.
Currently British movies are in a transitional period. Since the collapse of the British movie industry in the late 60's early 70's. British movies, notably from the mid 70’s to the early nineties, consistently and often dramatically flopped in the Cinema... most would have been forgotten failures had it not been for Video, which has successfully reprised many otherwise ignored classics (pretty much ALL the film companies from that period have closed their doors).
It is as a result of the success of a number of British hits over the past ten years, that British movie industry is able to be attempting to re-define itself, as well as grow into a consistent profit making enterprise.
In music, people who dislike popular music are able to enjoy one of many rich and well-established alternative music scenes...
British movies lack this luxury, and have done for some time now. The industry is currently still too small to validly produce both mainstream movie presentations and have a strong alternative, independent scene.
National cinematic releases are only ever made to make money, and although the number of money making production companies has been growing significantly over the past decade we are still a long way off from being strong enough to risk producing cult interest movies.
The British movie industry is still growing, and definitely re-learning, often making the same mistake it did in the past. Fortunately however, due to the successes of a number of British movies over the past few years, it is still only just possible for the industry to be able to afford to learn from a couple of bad mistakes (e.g. Honest). It’s important that production companies still keep on their toes to ensure the British movie industry doesn’t sink back into the quagmire
All said and done, there hasn’t really been a ‘real’ cult classic movie from anywhere for quite sometime, (at least, nothing with a sense of humour, and to be honest, what’s the point of a classic that hasn’t got a sense of humour?). And, since the real classics never really come along all that frequently, there’s bound to be one or two coming pretty soon.
I guess what I’m trying to say (eventually) is that although the British movie industry isn’t living on the edge, it is surviving, and for the meantime, until it gets a firm footing, that should be enough.
Companies like Hand Made films created some great movies, but, at the end of the day, they all went bust… If we wait for the industry to get a little strength, it will be able to support itself with mainstream flicks, and indulge itself with limited interest stuff, and not go broke in the process… all good things come to those who wait, don’t try and run before you can walk, putting the cart before the horse and other such things…
Besides, I’m rather partial to the odd romantic comedy, though largely conventional; it does provide a fantastic vehicle for a wide variety of comedy… At least they’ll do until the next big thing comes along…
youre generalizing too much, goatboy. its true that pulp fiction and the long good friday were there first, but lock stock and snatch are still great (youre right about the other 2 genres). Also, if youre not into something it doesnt make it rubbish. Billy Elliot was nice, if a bit predictable, and the full monty was very funny.
Gladiator may have been made with American money, but it had a British director and many British actors
Gladiator may have been made with American money, but it had a British director and many British actors
Meka_Dragon wrote:
British movies have been poor since the Hammer House of
> Horror closed its studios.
lol... Isnt that a contradictory statement? :)
I have no
> interest in dancing whatsoever, so the tale of a young lad doing
> ballet doesn't interest me in the slightest. For the same reasons I
> don't want to watch blokes dancing AND taking their kit off.
Just because you dont like a movie, doesnt mean its bad film... just not what your into...
British movies have been poor since the Hammer House of
> Horror closed its studios.
lol... Isnt that a contradictory statement? :)
I have no
> interest in dancing whatsoever, so the tale of a young lad doing
> ballet doesn't interest me in the slightest. For the same reasons I
> don't want to watch blokes dancing AND taking their kit off.
Just because you dont like a movie, doesnt mean its bad film... just not what your into...
So you say that all Brittish films are bad, well what about the american films being mass produced these days? how many classics have come out of Hollywood in the past few years? Gladiator i hear you say? why i ask? Oscars Oscars i hear you say... I say: Oscars dont mean anything, has Scorsese ever won an oscar? NO, so why do they count... THEY DONT!, maybe you should watch some more stright to movie British films and then you will see some more variety.
'(.)'
'(.)'
Come on British films can be good. YOu say without exception.. What about The Full Monty??? Sure it had blokes stripping in it and I'm not gay but that film was hilarious. That film was one of the funniest films I had ever seen. Also I'm sure many a people would say that the British romance stories are sometimes good and I'm sure that plenty of people would say that Kevin and Perry was actually funny. These films all got quite large audiences didn't they?
The problem is us British have a low budget and have not got the money to spend huge amounts of money on films. They cannot produce the great special effects a Hollywood film can and have to count on making either Romances or Comedies some which I think are done very well. If you don't like either of these two film genres then it's understandable you don't like British films. I think they do pretty well in some cases with the stuff they can. With this years Billy Elliot storming box offices hopefully British films will finally start doing even better and when we have our own Hollywood which might never happen maybe then British Films can match your favourite films with special effects. They try but can't succeed as well as Holiday - that kind of thing needs money and lots of it.
The problem is us British have a low budget and have not got the money to spend huge amounts of money on films. They cannot produce the great special effects a Hollywood film can and have to count on making either Romances or Comedies some which I think are done very well. If you don't like either of these two film genres then it's understandable you don't like British films. I think they do pretty well in some cases with the stuff they can. With this years Billy Elliot storming box offices hopefully British films will finally start doing even better and when we have our own Hollywood which might never happen maybe then British Films can match your favourite films with special effects. They try but can't succeed as well as Holiday - that kind of thing needs money and lots of it.
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