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Jesus christ, how inane does a show have to get before the public think "Hang on a minute" and turn off the tv, go and do something less boring instead?
It appears that Joe Public has an insatiable lust for detective programmes. Preferably nice sunny ones on a Sunday, in a time when everything was happy and even murderers were nice and polite.
And, in an effort to come up with some kind of hit show, it would also appear that the oh-so-clever execs that commission this bilge attempt to combine the ratings-winners into some police related show.
We've had Chef Detective (Pie in The Sky), Magic Detective (that one with the bloke from the Abbey National adverts), Flower Detectives (Rosemary & Thyme)...any show that gets viewers is shackled to some creaking investigative plot to produce "Something-on-another-channel-you-like Detective".
So I predict next summer you can enjoy DIY Detective, Antiques Detective (actually Lovejoy's already done that), Boot-Sale Detective, House-Abroad Detective, Reality TV Celebrity Detective....and, the jewel in ITV24's crown:
Cop Detective.
A policeman who solves crimes in a slightly unorthodox manner.
You can snigger, but we live in an age where a programme starts called "Celebrity Farm".
You can watch such high-profile wunderkinds such as Paul Daniels & Debbie McGee and Vanilla Ice on a farm.
Or, you could just shoot yourself in the face.
I'd watch that.
the title must be a play on words. If possible, it must also be edgey and try to rip off Se7en.
NETective5: an elite team of five maverik (sic) programmers solve internet related crimes by hanging out in chat rooms and randomly hacking into "high security" sites. They have usernames like: Loo5e cannon, BO Barracus and Wookie 6567969.
the detective or detectives must have (a) unique style(s).
One of them is white, one is black, one is a girl, one is a gay and one of them is a cyborg or maybe autistic. All of them think that adverts about "blade servers" are funny and the fact that you can use an I-Pod to store video and other such files, is really interesting and worth mentioning alot.
> Didn't you get the memo?
I told you to get your people to call my people.
> Why was I not informed Film Four had a free weekend?
> eh?
Didn't you get the memo?
> the public think "Hang on a minute" and turn off the tv, go and do
> something less boring instead?
QUALITY reference sir :)
and yeah, that Blaine bashing golfer was an absolute joy, simply because he was totally right the police could do nothing about it. genius.
eh?
> "Rosemary & Thyme" aka Flower Detectives.
Heh. The missus is watching this in the lounge whilst Sexy Beast is being taped on Film Four Weekly's free weekend - I'll watch it when she goes to bed.
And I have agree with cookie: Jonathon Creek is excellent.
In terms of Big Brother, my , er, brother is one. Insidious little creature.
> Hmmm, where have i heard that before?
----
*shrugs*
No idea, but I can't be the only person to think like that so probably several people have said it.
> It's possibly the only time in the past 5 years the English have
> done.....
---
Oh it happens eventually to most of these "stars".
Beckham's getting his at the moment, people are twigging that a mongoloid earning thousands of pounds a second for kicking a ball probably shouldn't be worshipped quite so much, and nobody gives a toss about whomever wins Big Brother anymore. I hope.