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Let me tell you a story.
It’s about life, love and all that other crap that you’re supposed to hold dear and important.
Men will nod in agreement, women will get angry and use names like “chauvinist” or “sexist” or any other number of “ists” that are supposed to make us feel bad for seeing through your stupid veil of insecurity and childishness.
You see, there are males out there that don’t have a clue. Timid little mice that are so desperate and hung up on sex that they’ll jump through hoops.
But then there are some of us that wont tolerate your idiocy and tell you exactly how things are. And instead of being grateful that not all men are the same, you get defensive and hostile because we’ve removed your ability to play with our heads.
Let’s say this woman had booked a hotel for the weekend, and had been talking all week about how much she was looking forward to it, sending you texts about what she intends to do etc etc.
But she starts to indicate she may have to cancel and she’s sorry and blah blah.
Now the script says you are supposed to be upset, near-suicidal at the thought of not seeing her.
You are supposed to inflate her ego, feed her sense of self-worth and beg on your knees for her to not do this.
She wants to feel like she’s in control, that you’re this little toy that will come when beckoned and summoned, at her disposal.
She will not cancel this weekend, she just wants to make you realise that she calls the shots and that you are along for the ride.
It’s setting boundaries.
Except you don’t do that.
You tell her that’s fine, you’ve got other stuff you can do anyway and she should have told you sooner so you didn’t cancel all your other plans for that weekend.
And now she’s furious, her game has backfired on her.
Instead of being tearful and begging and whimpering about “our special time baby” and other platitudes, you shrug and tell her that’s too bad.
Instead of making you feel like she’s doing you a favour by not bailing out (and shouldn’t you be oh-so-thankful to her), she’s left with a blank weekend, a deposit spent on a hotel and a bloke that’s just told her he “doesn’t play stupid mind games and she’d be better off seeking out a desperate teenager that would dance to her tune”
She’s been played herself, her pathetic attempts at trying to dominate and conquer this man have blown up in her face and she’s left out of pocket, feeling annoyed and stupid.
Instead of being upset, you tell her she’s a pain in the ass for leaving it so late and that you cancelled other plans for the weekend and she’s screwed with them by playing idiot games.
You tell her you know full well that she had no intention of cancelling and that it was just a game to make you feel grateful. You tell her she has no right to get moody about it, you aren’t the one acting like a child.
She gets angry and hangs up. Then an hour later texts you saying she’s sorry and apologises for making you wait until the last minute etc etc.
You phone her to hear her being uncomfortable, then you laugh in her face and hang up.
Because most men will follow your stupid games, will do what you want simply for the chance to have sex with you.
Well sorry to break the news to you, but you’ve not got anything special I haven’t seen countless times before, and you’re just another notch on the post.
You think that sounds cold?
So what.
Deal with it.
I see their games coming a mile away, highlighted in neon. And I know them all.
I let them think I’ve swallowed the line, taken the bait and they’re all set to reel me in like the good little fish.
But then I seize that hook and run 150mph with it, yanking the rod from their hands and pulling them under, where I dwell and rule.
I can say exactly the right thing to them. I can tell them just what they want to hear.
It’s easy to do.
I’ve done it before and not even felt like sleeping with them, I’ve just done it to keep my game sharp. And I’ll do it again.
I can do it to anybody. I can do it to your mothers and your sisters if I wanted to.
The games are so boring and easy to spot. Learn them and you’ll never be forced into listening to meaningful songs at 1am, crying and resorting to bad schoolboy poetry to express you inner anguish maaaaaan.
“I like you, but as a friend” – I don’t find you attractive but I want you around because I know you want me, and it’ll flatter me whilst I have bad experiences with men I know are no good for me.
But I bet you still hang around, thinking that one day she’ll notice that you’re the one for her, you wouldn’t treat her like that, right?
“I only commit 100%, and I don’t think we have that” – I’ve slept with you, but now I feel guilty and cannot admit it was just sex. But I like the idea of having you around me and sometimes indicating it might just happen because it’s amusing to me and it makes me feel wanted and special.
“This isn’t going anywhere” – I’m seeing somebody else and I don’t have the courage to tell you
“It’s not you, it’s me. You deserve better” – I cant stand you anymore, but I want you to think it’s me, that way I get off guilt free because you feel better about yourself.
“I don’t have time for a relationship right now, it’s just not the right time y’know? I thought I did but it wouldn’t be fair on either of us, but I really respect you” – I don’t fancy you, but sometimes I don’t have anything else to do and there’s nothing on television and you’ll do so I’ll keep coming back for occasional sex.
There are loads more, but you’ll have to work them out for yourself. And until you do, you’ll forever be enslaved to them. Obeying their every whim and desire, because you’re convinced that the initial 2 weeks-rush would last longer with this one.
Well it doesn’t.
Don’t get mad at me for telling you this, it’s yourself you’re angry with because deep down you know I’m right but you wont admit it.
Just as you’ll be furious with me, and call me a user/cold/evil.
But I’m not. I just refuse to play along to your stupid games.
Try to run a game on me?
I’ll confuse you with sex or the lack of it.
I’ll be really sincere and deep, I’ll make you think I understand and empathise with you. I’ll be there at 2am when you can’t sleep and want to talk.
I’ll be the model of a knight in shining armour.
But underneath all that, I’m laughing in your face and already making moves on the next one.
You’re all so easy, videogames are harder than this.
You think I’m a monster? Some kind of unfeeling shark?
Then what will really make you mad is that I can tell you for a fact that most men reading this agree, they just wont admit it – because they’re “nice” or “different” and “understanding, not like you”.
Except they’re not, they’re just making you think that.
You think you’re special or the keeper of some magical powers because you can get me off? Sorry but I do that myself in my sleep, so you don’t hold any sway over me with sex.
Sure I like breasts but half the planet have them, so you ain’t unique and I won’t wag my tail and let you pet me just so I can touch them.
Bottom line?
You hate me, you’re angry at me.
But not because I “take advantage” or anything like that, you’re angry because you know I can see through your lies and games and power-trips and I don’t play along.
Tell me you don't recognise a line or a strategy you have employed at some point to confuse and abuse a naive man.
Try that with me, see how far it gets you.
I'll build you up to knock you down. I'll let you think you're winning, let you think you're playing me for the fool and then, right at the last minute, I'll leave you standing wondering what the hell happened.
I'll be rude, arrogant and offensive one minute, take you to the edge of fury.
Then I'll laugh and make a joke and calm you down, make you think I only did it to mock myself and be your friend.
You'll think I'm privy to some deep and passionate secrets about the universe because "Like, you really understand me, nobody has ever really got me before like you do. It's something powerful"
Oh I understand you well. It's a shame you don't.
So, in the meantime? You tell yourself that the stupid man doesn't know any better.
I'm 10 steps ahead.
I've predicted your next 3 moves and I've texted my mates to tell them in advance how it will play out.
You'll think you're special and wonderful because you "broke" me, you made me do what you want.
But all the way down deep, where you can't see? Beneath the veneer that most of you operate at?
I'm laughing at you, getting what I want and giving you what you need.
None of you know anything about me except what I've told you.
I'm cold and in control.
I'll make up fictional stories of abuse suffered as a child, so you'll feel protective and think I'm vulnerable and gentle and in need of your embrace.
I'll make you feel like the protector, like you'd be doing me a favour by sleeping with me.
I'll bring out the Florance Nightingale in you, switch on your nurture instincts so you can feel magnanimous about going down on me.
And all the while I'm laughing inside because I've done it again.
And I'll do it again.
And again.
And again.
Unstoppable, unrelenting and unplayable.
That's exactly how it is and how it works.
But hey, this is just fiction. This is just something I wrote at night because I was bored.
I'm not really like that.
You believe me, right?
It’s about life, love and all that other crap that you’re supposed to hold dear and important.
Men will nod in agreement, women will get angry and use names like “chauvinist” or “sexist” or any other number of “ists” that are supposed to make us feel bad for seeing through your stupid veil of insecurity and childishness.
You see, there are males out there that don’t have a clue. Timid little mice that are so desperate and hung up on sex that they’ll jump through hoops.
But then there are some of us that wont tolerate your idiocy and tell you exactly how things are. And instead of being grateful that not all men are the same, you get defensive and hostile because we’ve removed your ability to play with our heads.
Let’s say this woman had booked a hotel for the weekend, and had been talking all week about how much she was looking forward to it, sending you texts about what she intends to do etc etc.
But she starts to indicate she may have to cancel and she’s sorry and blah blah.
Now the script says you are supposed to be upset, near-suicidal at the thought of not seeing her.
You are supposed to inflate her ego, feed her sense of self-worth and beg on your knees for her to not do this.
She wants to feel like she’s in control, that you’re this little toy that will come when beckoned and summoned, at her disposal.
She will not cancel this weekend, she just wants to make you realise that she calls the shots and that you are along for the ride.
It’s setting boundaries.
Except you don’t do that.
You tell her that’s fine, you’ve got other stuff you can do anyway and she should have told you sooner so you didn’t cancel all your other plans for that weekend.
And now she’s furious, her game has backfired on her.
Instead of being tearful and begging and whimpering about “our special time baby” and other platitudes, you shrug and tell her that’s too bad.
Instead of making you feel like she’s doing you a favour by not bailing out (and shouldn’t you be oh-so-thankful to her), she’s left with a blank weekend, a deposit spent on a hotel and a bloke that’s just told her he “doesn’t play stupid mind games and she’d be better off seeking out a desperate teenager that would dance to her tune”
She’s been played herself, her pathetic attempts at trying to dominate and conquer this man have blown up in her face and she’s left out of pocket, feeling annoyed and stupid.
Instead of being upset, you tell her she’s a pain in the ass for leaving it so late and that you cancelled other plans for the weekend and she’s screwed with them by playing idiot games.
You tell her you know full well that she had no intention of cancelling and that it was just a game to make you feel grateful. You tell her she has no right to get moody about it, you aren’t the one acting like a child.
She gets angry and hangs up. Then an hour later texts you saying she’s sorry and apologises for making you wait until the last minute etc etc.
You phone her to hear her being uncomfortable, then you laugh in her face and hang up.
Because most men will follow your stupid games, will do what you want simply for the chance to have sex with you.
Well sorry to break the news to you, but you’ve not got anything special I haven’t seen countless times before, and you’re just another notch on the post.
You think that sounds cold?
So what.
Deal with it.
I see their games coming a mile away, highlighted in neon. And I know them all.
I let them think I’ve swallowed the line, taken the bait and they’re all set to reel me in like the good little fish.
But then I seize that hook and run 150mph with it, yanking the rod from their hands and pulling them under, where I dwell and rule.
I can say exactly the right thing to them. I can tell them just what they want to hear.
It’s easy to do.
I’ve done it before and not even felt like sleeping with them, I’ve just done it to keep my game sharp. And I’ll do it again.
I can do it to anybody. I can do it to your mothers and your sisters if I wanted to.
The games are so boring and easy to spot. Learn them and you’ll never be forced into listening to meaningful songs at 1am, crying and resorting to bad schoolboy poetry to express you inner anguish maaaaaan.
“I like you, but as a friend” – I don’t find you attractive but I want you around because I know you want me, and it’ll flatter me whilst I have bad experiences with men I know are no good for me.
But I bet you still hang around, thinking that one day she’ll notice that you’re the one for her, you wouldn’t treat her like that, right?
“I only commit 100%, and I don’t think we have that” – I’ve slept with you, but now I feel guilty and cannot admit it was just sex. But I like the idea of having you around me and sometimes indicating it might just happen because it’s amusing to me and it makes me feel wanted and special.
“This isn’t going anywhere” – I’m seeing somebody else and I don’t have the courage to tell you
“It’s not you, it’s me. You deserve better” – I cant stand you anymore, but I want you to think it’s me, that way I get off guilt free because you feel better about yourself.
“I don’t have time for a relationship right now, it’s just not the right time y’know? I thought I did but it wouldn’t be fair on either of us, but I really respect you” – I don’t fancy you, but sometimes I don’t have anything else to do and there’s nothing on television and you’ll do so I’ll keep coming back for occasional sex.
There are loads more, but you’ll have to work them out for yourself. And until you do, you’ll forever be enslaved to them. Obeying their every whim and desire, because you’re convinced that the initial 2 weeks-rush would last longer with this one.
Well it doesn’t.
Don’t get mad at me for telling you this, it’s yourself you’re angry with because deep down you know I’m right but you wont admit it.
Just as you’ll be furious with me, and call me a user/cold/evil.
But I’m not. I just refuse to play along to your stupid games.
Try to run a game on me?
I’ll confuse you with sex or the lack of it.
I’ll be really sincere and deep, I’ll make you think I understand and empathise with you. I’ll be there at 2am when you can’t sleep and want to talk.
I’ll be the model of a knight in shining armour.
But underneath all that, I’m laughing in your face and already making moves on the next one.
You’re all so easy, videogames are harder than this.
You think I’m a monster? Some kind of unfeeling shark?
Then what will really make you mad is that I can tell you for a fact that most men reading this agree, they just wont admit it – because they’re “nice” or “different” and “understanding, not like you”.
Except they’re not, they’re just making you think that.
You think you’re special or the keeper of some magical powers because you can get me off? Sorry but I do that myself in my sleep, so you don’t hold any sway over me with sex.
Sure I like breasts but half the planet have them, so you ain’t unique and I won’t wag my tail and let you pet me just so I can touch them.
Bottom line?
You hate me, you’re angry at me.
But not because I “take advantage” or anything like that, you’re angry because you know I can see through your lies and games and power-trips and I don’t play along.
Tell me you don't recognise a line or a strategy you have employed at some point to confuse and abuse a naive man.
Try that with me, see how far it gets you.
I'll build you up to knock you down. I'll let you think you're winning, let you think you're playing me for the fool and then, right at the last minute, I'll leave you standing wondering what the hell happened.
I'll be rude, arrogant and offensive one minute, take you to the edge of fury.
Then I'll laugh and make a joke and calm you down, make you think I only did it to mock myself and be your friend.
You'll think I'm privy to some deep and passionate secrets about the universe because "Like, you really understand me, nobody has ever really got me before like you do. It's something powerful"
Oh I understand you well. It's a shame you don't.
So, in the meantime? You tell yourself that the stupid man doesn't know any better.
I'm 10 steps ahead.
I've predicted your next 3 moves and I've texted my mates to tell them in advance how it will play out.
You'll think you're special and wonderful because you "broke" me, you made me do what you want.
But all the way down deep, where you can't see? Beneath the veneer that most of you operate at?
I'm laughing at you, getting what I want and giving you what you need.
None of you know anything about me except what I've told you.
I'm cold and in control.
I'll make up fictional stories of abuse suffered as a child, so you'll feel protective and think I'm vulnerable and gentle and in need of your embrace.
I'll make you feel like the protector, like you'd be doing me a favour by sleeping with me.
I'll bring out the Florance Nightingale in you, switch on your nurture instincts so you can feel magnanimous about going down on me.
And all the while I'm laughing inside because I've done it again.
And I'll do it again.
And again.
And again.
Unstoppable, unrelenting and unplayable.
That's exactly how it is and how it works.
But hey, this is just fiction. This is just something I wrote at night because I was bored.
I'm not really like that.
You believe me, right?
Page:
Damn. I want more from a relationship than chess, why do these things always come out wrong.
Women who play Draughts are mingers who drink pints in social clubs.
Women who play Monopoly are gold-digging wh*res.
Women who play Tiddlywinks are insatiable nymphos.
-taken from "Relationships & Board Games" by Professor Nobshank.
Women who play Monopoly are gold-digging wh*res.
Women who play Tiddlywinks are insatiable nymphos.
-taken from "Relationships & Board Games" by Professor Nobshank.
Women who play chess like to bash the bishop... or so I've been told.
I think it's the War Operations Plan and Response computer.
It can play chess, apparently.
Mostly it's used by the americans to simulate World War II, so they can say "Look, this is what would have happened if we hadn't dropped the atom bomb! Thank the lord we did. God bless America."
It can play chess, apparently.
Mostly it's used by the americans to simulate World War II, so they can say "Look, this is what would have happened if we hadn't dropped the atom bomb! Thank the lord we did. God bless America."
Damnit! I have no idea what that acronym stands for!
Women of Perky Rectums is the best I can do.
Women of Perky Rectums is the best I can do.
Goatboy wrote: Lots of stuff I'm not going to quote cos he doesn't need reminding about what he wrote...cos yeah he like wrote it.
******
Nail....
Head....
*BAM*!!!
******
Nail....
Head....
*BAM*!!!
Grix Thraves wrote:
> Wouldn't it be nicer to say "I'm feeling a bit down
> tonight" "Well ok, have a hug" "That's better,
> lets go play chess"?
--
Yes. Yes it would.
IF YOU WERE DATING THE W.O.P.R
> Wouldn't it be nicer to say "I'm feeling a bit down
> tonight" "Well ok, have a hug" "That's better,
> lets go play chess"?
--
Yes. Yes it would.
IF YOU WERE DATING THE W.O.P.R
Timmargh wrote:
> I love you too, Bob.
Emperor Bob wrote:
> I thought I had made myself clear to you about that back at the
> airport!?
I know - that's why I said "I love you *too*".
> I love you too, Bob.
Emperor Bob wrote:
> I thought I had made myself clear to you about that back at the
> airport!?
I know - that's why I said "I love you *too*".
Black Glove wrote:
> So you're tired and amused by the little manipulative games women
> play, yet at the same time 'you' are playing a perpetual game of
> I'm-one-step-ahead-of-you manipulation... Is there a worthwhile
> conclusion to this ramble?
I thought that... maybe we are all little kids with little or no self-confidence and everything... but well, err... so?
Wouldn't it be nicer to say "I'm feeling a bit down tonight" "Well ok, have a hug" "That's better, lets go play chess"? Just because the poor girl has little self-confidence isn't really a massive excuse to start battling her.
Maybe it's not so much you should understand they're playing games to make them feel better, but well, that they're a bit low on self-confidence anyway?
I agree with what you say, and I agree it's a damn pain in the ass, but that doesn't give you an excuse to be a pain in the ass back, surely?
I dunno, don't take that harshly or anything, just discussing.
> So you're tired and amused by the little manipulative games women
> play, yet at the same time 'you' are playing a perpetual game of
> I'm-one-step-ahead-of-you manipulation... Is there a worthwhile
> conclusion to this ramble?
I thought that... maybe we are all little kids with little or no self-confidence and everything... but well, err... so?
Wouldn't it be nicer to say "I'm feeling a bit down tonight" "Well ok, have a hug" "That's better, lets go play chess"? Just because the poor girl has little self-confidence isn't really a massive excuse to start battling her.
Maybe it's not so much you should understand they're playing games to make them feel better, but well, that they're a bit low on self-confidence anyway?
I agree with what you say, and I agree it's a damn pain in the ass, but that doesn't give you an excuse to be a pain in the ass back, surely?
I dunno, don't take that harshly or anything, just discussing.
Timmargh wrote:
> I love you too, Bob.
I thought I had made myself clear to you about that back at the airport!?
> I love you too, Bob.
I thought I had made myself clear to you about that back at the airport!?
Page: