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"The Tale of Seiyo"

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Sun 19/10/03 at 17:47
Regular
Posts: 23,216
Story. I found this quite difficult to write at times, especially wondering if I should take certain scenes further. It's from a story which I'm still yet to name, which is based in a world dominated by humanesque animals. I wrote this because I'm developing a character called Seiyo, a mystical creature that cannot be seen by others. I first wrote an extract on here about Renna, who had become a pyschological assassin after witnessing an attempted rape, while Seiyo takes a more hands on approached to his hatred.

----------

I squeeze my thumb between my teeth, crunching hard against the skin so I can feel the bone tight in my mouth.

I want to slip my teeth between my knuckle, bite down hard and tear my thumb away, suck the blood from inside my thumb out, leave it a chalky white death, then chew and eat the skin and muscle, crunch the bone hard.

It wasn't the past that got to me... no, no... it was that fact, that GLARING fact that people assumed that they've had such terrifying lives, such hardships... it made me want to scrape their faces off, hammer into their cheeks with flint and watch the sparks fly.

Legion of pigs, hogs. Flithy with their lies, their assumptions, their ways. Their closed-mindedness.

They do not KNOW pain.

And I sit here, facing them at the table completely unseen, smiling with the stinking air that escapes their mouth with every single word. I sit here as I look into the eyes of a dogwoman facing me, glancing into thin air, I want to grab her across the table, force a knive up into her mouth and cut her throat out from the inside.

These people, these creatures. What are they? How can they live like this, these lives, these disgusting lives inside their protected world. No fear, only pretence of hurt.

And that's when I decided.

These creatures, these hogs. They deserve pain. They deserve to KNOW what it's like. If they wish to assume, and talk, then perhaps they should be tutored.

They should learn pain.

I will cut them. I will tear them from limb to limb and leave them crying for their lives.

I will slice them and smash them. Punch them and kick them to the very bottom, to the inside of their souls and out again. I will batter them to an inch of their life. But I will not kill them. I will just give them life.

I will give them eyes. I will teach them pain.

And then, maybe, they'll apprieciate their lives.

These sick, digusting hogs. They must learn.

So that's what I do. That's what I did. I followed the dogwoman to the bathroom in the restaurant with her steak knife from the table. Nobody sees me, nobody ever does.

She stands in front of the mirror, the toilet is empty, so I walk up behind her, still unseen.

I grab her, and throw her backwards into a cubicle behind me. Her lipstick flies into the air, smeared across her face as I walk into the cubicle with her and close the door behind me.

I slice through her clothes, then grab her face and push it into the toilet bowl, and flush it. Her hair and fur soaks with the toilet water, and I start to rip through it with the knife.

Lump after lump of long dull golden hair falls off onto the toilet seat and bowl, one hand over her mouth to stop her from screaming. Unseen I may be, but I can still touch, squeeze, grip.

I cut the back of her head, and she starts to bleed. I let her go, and she gets up, opens the door and runs out of the bathroom screaming, nursing the back of her head... and a few seconds later, the whole restaurant fills with screams.

I wash my hands in the sink, leaving the blood stained steak knife under the toilet... and walk out as others rush in.

I can't help but feel a small sense of gratification. Apart from the complete fear and terror which will, I would at least hope, give her some idea of what it's really like... she should also be expected to be under very close watch by doctors.

It may just be that a strange epidemic of insanity may be appearing to cleanse these lands. How strange. How very strange.
Tue 21/10/03 at 08:25
Regular
"Going nowhere fast"
Posts: 6,574
Grix Thraves wrote:

> Well the first point of being thrown backwards... well, I can see it
> quite easily working... why do you need talons?

I like talons and would have had him grab her from behind "his talons sinking easily into her flesh and curling to catch under the shoulder blade as he dragged her backwards into the cubicle". That's just me though, not you, and wouldn't fit into your idea of him.

> Although I didn't mention, all these creatures do wear clothes, and
> Seiyo is a very strong/large character. In imagination to his
> strength, I expect he's quite able to grab her by the collar, and
> throw her [while moving to the side] backwards, to hit a cubicle door
> wide open while she eventually stumbles backwards to the toilet.

Okay, the old 'side step' routine. I can see this now - thanks.
Tue 21/10/03 at 00:23
Regular
Posts: 23,216
Yup, Grix became a fox quite a while ago, in decision that instead of just basing this world inside his head, to actually make him live in it. I think it'd be much more beautiful and easier to understand.
Mon 20/10/03 at 23:49
Regular
Posts: 9,848
Hang on...


you're a fox now? :-)
Mon 20/10/03 at 23:08
Moderator
"possibly impossible"
Posts: 24,985
Watch it, there are similarities between that and your story, but other than that it's cool. I've never seen something as cute and scary at the same time as the Kodama.
Mon 20/10/03 at 23:08
"I love yo... lamp."
Posts: 19,577
You're a decent artist Grix. Any other pics on the site?
Mon 20/10/03 at 23:04
Regular
Posts: 23,216
Nope, I haven't... I do want to see that.

I might do some research into Inca art actually... thanks.
Mon 20/10/03 at 22:15
Moderator
"possibly impossible"
Posts: 24,985
First thoughts on the pictures is that they reminded me of Inca art. Their culture involved a lot of animal drawings and animals as powerful omens. Reminds me a bit of the Nazca Lines as well.

Have you watched Princess Mononoke, out of interest?
Mon 20/10/03 at 21:42
Regular
Posts: 23,216
pb wrote:
"Nice. I would find it more bizarre and far more interesting if Seiyo did just go around causing minor cuts and sending people to psychiatric hospitals."

Oh yes, about that, I do agree, but I think Renna will be doing more of that sort of thing. Subtlty vs Guns blazing, I guess.
Mon 20/10/03 at 21:39
Regular
Posts: 23,216
Over the last night or so I finally nailed the ending, which really does a lot of damage to the whole of the story... I'll try and get a draft up soon, Dan.

And Pb, I agree.. happy ever after is a little, dull. :)

Here's a bit of a plot synopsis for you anyway.

The plot revolves around Grix Thraves, a fox born to a normal creature which has the gift of being able to see mystical creatures, and to an actual mystical creature too, after the pair fall in love.

Obviously this makes Grix quite different to others, and he avoids others his age, but eventually makes friend in a kitten called Renna. Noticing that others cannot see her, he comes to believe she is his imaginary friend.

Eventually over time he meets Leon, a sheep, and Seiyo, a horse. The four grow together until one of his parents die [mystical one], and the surviving parent decides that the boy should grow as normal as can be, and says for him to be rid of his 'imaginary' friends and make friends with normal people.

So Grix is forced to ignore them, and eventually forgets how to see them. But in hatred to his parents for forcing him to leave them, he runs away.

Years pass, and Grix now lives in an old castle near the sea which he found empty and unused. His depression has forced him to grow into himself, having very vague memories and living a very small life.

Grix eventually grows to despair, and eventually travels as far away as he can, and brings himself to the top of a skyscraper in a city far from the woods, to commit suicide. As he goes to step off from the rooftops, he feels a hand grab him from behind, and he dangles over the edge of the roof, held by the back of his jacket by an invisible creature.

Grix discovers it to be Leon, the sheep friend he made. Grix discovers Leon to be a chainsmoking drunk, who has followed Grix from the moment he left home. Leon tries to explain that he isn't imaginary, but simply a mystical creature.

Grix at first thinks he's going insane, but begins to realise and remember about his friends, and eventually, is able to see Leon again.

With fear in his heart of what may have happened to Renna and Seiyo, he sets off with Leon to find them.

But Renna and Seiyo have led very different lives, driven to desperate ends by their loneliness.

And eventually they all meet up again.

I want people watching/reading whatever to have no idea if Grix is insane or not right till the very end.

Anyway, here's some more pics.

http://www.thefantastictortoise.com/amneshire/Rennabw.jpg
http://www.thefantastictortoise.com/amneshire/Seiyobw.jpg

I love the style these are in now, was messing around in photoshop with Seiyo, looks pretty.
Mon 20/10/03 at 19:40
Moderator
"possibly impossible"
Posts: 24,985
Nice. I would find it more bizarre and far more interesting if Seiyo did just go around causing minor cuts and sending people to psychiatric hospitals. I've always loved stories about the Trickster style characters, don't ever think you are bound by western storytelling though, you don't have to have a beginning, middle and end, you don't have to have the hero fall in love or even stay in the arms of the one they love at the end.

Japanese storytelling seems to have it right, they don't seem as stale as the stories which come from Hollywood or western literature these days.

But, back to the point, I love the way that you describe the animals, it can become so much of a cliché these days, with so many authors opting for this approach.

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