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Note: This match is so stupid/random/offensive simply because I couldn’t find Electrons CAW profile anywhere so I just made him up a porno style gimmick. Enjoy.
JR: “Well, well, well what have we here, a hardcore match huh, tell us who’s in it tons of fun”
King: “Ermm.. according to this card here it’s Electron.....”
JR: “Uh-huh”
King: “....and the Undertaker”
JR: “OH MY GOD THE UNDERTAKER!!? OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!! POOR POOR ELECTRON, THIS MAY BE ELECTRONS LAS........bzzzzt.
Electric Six hits and Electon (Tazz) comes out to a chorus of boos, infact it kinda went like this. “Who are ya! Who are ya! Boooo! Who are ya! Who are ya! Boooo!”
Electron walks down the ramp armed with Orgazmo ray gun and tight leather boots, like any good military man in leather boots he ignores the “You’re a knob” signs and the “I know your mothers favourite position” chants and climbs into the ring unharmed and ready for battle.
King: “Now I don’t want to seem gay or anything but I think that outfit really suits Electron”
The Undertakers (Jetsters) music hits and sends shivers down JR spine. Everyone else just cheers wildly as the sounds of the bikes engine can be heard. He emerges from the back sporting a rather suspicious looking black metal bar which anyone from the Carry On generation would have a field day over. The Phenom circles the ring menacingly as his opponent stares at him never once allowing him to leave his sight, the Taker takes his time climbing the steps and into the ring as the moody lighting makes way for the bright fanfare lights and this hardcore match gets underway.
The bell sounds and Electron drops his Orgazmo ray gun and dives at the Undertaker and begins hammering away with right hands knocking the dead man into the turnbuckle! Looks like Electron didn’t like that a** kicking he received last time at the hands of the Undertaker. This doesn’t last long however as the Undertaker with his brute force pushes Electron backwards and down to the canvas. He cockily dusts himself off but Electron isn’t giving up that easy and makes another dive for his opponent but this time the otherwise slow Undertaker side-steps the attack and starts with the predictable hammering right and left blows.
Electron gets into a slight daze as the Undertaker goes for his steel pipe and swings for Electron who ducks and goes behind the phenom and delivers a text book reverse German suplex!! BAM!! Elecy celebrates and taunts the fallen Undertaker proving to him that he can play his game better than anyone, he slides under the ropes and to the outside of the ring and begins throwing in some weapons. Steel chairs, fire extinguishers, iron bars, bags of something and even sets up a table on the outside of the ring. It’s hardcore heaven. The Undertaker must think it’s Christmas come early as he receives all his new fancy toys and picks up the steel chair, Electron slides back into the ring and bumps into the feet of the Phenom. Looking up and realising what he has just done he tries to grab a weapon but the Undertaker strikes with the chair and nails him across his back, WHACK!! Electron screams in agony and tries to get up, he uses the ropes to aid him but as he turns around..... CRACK!! Another blow this time to the head courtesy of Deadman Inc. Electron is down and seemingly out so the Undertaker makes a pin, 1,2....... rope break! Electron gets his foot on the rope and saves himself, well saves himself from loosing the match anyway. The Undertaker picks Electron up by the throat, ergh! He places him on his feet still with his hand tightly gripped around his fat neck as the crowd cheer loudly, but the Taker shakes his head and lets the grip go before kicking him in the stomach and pulling him between his legs!! No way!! Not now! The crowd comes to it’s feet they know what’s coming,.... but wait! The Undertaker shifts his position and has the fire extinguisher lying in front of him!! He can’t do this, he lifts Electron up and......... WHAM!!! ARGHH!! THE LAST RIDE ON THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!! It lets out a gust of foam from the impact!! Unbelievable!!! He landed awkwardly right on his spine on the edge of the extinguisher!! Electron isn’t moving, that has got to be all!! The Undertaker parades the ring arms raised in victory.
King: “Not to sound queer or anything but the Undertaker has a really nice a**”
The Deadman shakes his head and goes over to the corpse and goes for the pin but wait a minute!! Who’s that coming down the ramp, why it’s, it’s...... it’s Chasey Lain!! It’s porn star Chasey Lain, what the hell? The Undertaker is totally shocked. It’s probably a camera thing though I bet he does know who she is but I reckon he’s acting like that because he doesn’t want Sara to know anything, (I’m onto you Phenom). Chasey Lain climbs into the ring as the crowd cheer crazily on, she picks up the Orgazmo ray gun made famous by Trey Parker and shoots the Undertaker with it! BAM!! On the spot relief as the Undertaker has an instant..... orgasm in ring!!! Now there’s a first! That should relieve some of that worked up stress and anger!
The crowd chant for puppies as Chasey Lain leaves ringside and heads up the ramp.
JR: “Speechless king?”
King: “I’m just worried for Electron”
JR: “What!? You did see Chasey Lain just now right?”
I wonder who will get up first? What’s more energy draining, a powerbomb or.... ejaculation!? Amazingly Electron gets to his feet and immediently and somewhat wounded empties the contents of the brown bag which contains thousands of pins!! He spreads them around an area of the ring before picking the Undertaker up and uses kicks and punches to weaken him down, Electron (Tazz) locks in a front face lock over the pins and attempts to hoist the Taker (Jetster) up but he fights back with some fore arm blows he tries again but this time the Undertaker reverses and picks up Electron into a suplex but that again was reversed and Electron spins out of it and lands on his feet in the pins and quickly high kicks the Undertaker in the side of the head making his ear bleed and sends him bouncing off the turnbuckle, he then sweeps in from behind and nails a Full Nelson slam and drives him into the mat, WHAM!!
The crowd boo as he climbs the top rope and signals for his signature move the Electric Elbow!! Amazing. Some of the crowd cheer but the pins in Electrons boots cause for him to slip and OWWWWW!! No, no no. He lands right on the crown jewels!! His face goes white as the blood rushes to you know where, he slips to the other side of the ropes and slowly picks himself up using those ropes as leverage but the top one snaps as he grips it and Electron falls right through the table which he set up!! CRASH!! Then the steel bar rolls out the ring and hits him on the temple and a crowd member runs out and paints a 13 on his forehead. Woah!! What were the chances eh?
The crowd is in hysterics as the Undertaker walks down to the outside of the ring in fits of laughter himself, he picks up his fallen victim and by the throat CHOKESLAMS HIM THROUGH THE AMERICAN ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! CRASH!!! GOOD GOD that has got to be all!! The Undertaker quickly makes the pin, 1, 2..........3!! Of course it’s over, the Spanish announce team look pretty proud with themselves but then their table just randomly falls apart on them. (That’ll teach ya) The Undertaker leaves to celebrate his win. Well done Jetster!
JR: “Well, what a unusual match that was, but a wins a win and the Undertaker has come out on top”
King: “Yeah? Well I’m gay”
Thanks for reading
Starlight.
JR: “Well, well, well what have we here, a hardcore match huh, tell us who’s in it tons of fun”
King: “Ermm.. according to this card here it’s Electron.....”
JR: “Uh-huh”
King: “....and the Undertaker”
JR: “OH MY GOD THE UNDERTAKER!!? OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!! POOR POOR ELECTRON, THIS MAY BE ELECTRONS LAS........bzzzzt.
Electric Six hits and Electon (Tazz) comes out to a chorus of boos, infact it kinda went like this. “Who are ya! Who are ya! Boooo! Who are ya! Who are ya! Boooo!”
Electron walks down the ramp armed with Orgazmo ray gun and tight leather boots, like any good military man in leather boots he ignores the “You’re a knob” signs and the “I know your mothers favourite position” chants and climbs into the ring unharmed and ready for battle.
King: “Now I don’t want to seem gay or anything but I think that outfit really suits Electron”
The Undertakers (Jetsters) music hits and sends shivers down JR spine. Everyone else just cheers wildly as the sounds of the bikes engine can be heard. He emerges from the back sporting a rather suspicious looking black metal bar which anyone from the Carry On generation would have a field day over. The Phenom circles the ring menacingly as his opponent stares at him never once allowing him to leave his sight, the Taker takes his time climbing the steps and into the ring as the moody lighting makes way for the bright fanfare lights and this hardcore match gets underway.
The bell sounds and Electron drops his Orgazmo ray gun and dives at the Undertaker and begins hammering away with right hands knocking the dead man into the turnbuckle! Looks like Electron didn’t like that a** kicking he received last time at the hands of the Undertaker. This doesn’t last long however as the Undertaker with his brute force pushes Electron backwards and down to the canvas. He cockily dusts himself off but Electron isn’t giving up that easy and makes another dive for his opponent but this time the otherwise slow Undertaker side-steps the attack and starts with the predictable hammering right and left blows.
Electron gets into a slight daze as the Undertaker goes for his steel pipe and swings for Electron who ducks and goes behind the phenom and delivers a text book reverse German suplex!! BAM!! Elecy celebrates and taunts the fallen Undertaker proving to him that he can play his game better than anyone, he slides under the ropes and to the outside of the ring and begins throwing in some weapons. Steel chairs, fire extinguishers, iron bars, bags of something and even sets up a table on the outside of the ring. It’s hardcore heaven. The Undertaker must think it’s Christmas come early as he receives all his new fancy toys and picks up the steel chair, Electron slides back into the ring and bumps into the feet of the Phenom. Looking up and realising what he has just done he tries to grab a weapon but the Undertaker strikes with the chair and nails him across his back, WHACK!! Electron screams in agony and tries to get up, he uses the ropes to aid him but as he turns around..... CRACK!! Another blow this time to the head courtesy of Deadman Inc. Electron is down and seemingly out so the Undertaker makes a pin, 1,2....... rope break! Electron gets his foot on the rope and saves himself, well saves himself from loosing the match anyway. The Undertaker picks Electron up by the throat, ergh! He places him on his feet still with his hand tightly gripped around his fat neck as the crowd cheer loudly, but the Taker shakes his head and lets the grip go before kicking him in the stomach and pulling him between his legs!! No way!! Not now! The crowd comes to it’s feet they know what’s coming,.... but wait! The Undertaker shifts his position and has the fire extinguisher lying in front of him!! He can’t do this, he lifts Electron up and......... WHAM!!! ARGHH!! THE LAST RIDE ON THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!! It lets out a gust of foam from the impact!! Unbelievable!!! He landed awkwardly right on his spine on the edge of the extinguisher!! Electron isn’t moving, that has got to be all!! The Undertaker parades the ring arms raised in victory.
King: “Not to sound queer or anything but the Undertaker has a really nice a**”
The Deadman shakes his head and goes over to the corpse and goes for the pin but wait a minute!! Who’s that coming down the ramp, why it’s, it’s...... it’s Chasey Lain!! It’s porn star Chasey Lain, what the hell? The Undertaker is totally shocked. It’s probably a camera thing though I bet he does know who she is but I reckon he’s acting like that because he doesn’t want Sara to know anything, (I’m onto you Phenom). Chasey Lain climbs into the ring as the crowd cheer crazily on, she picks up the Orgazmo ray gun made famous by Trey Parker and shoots the Undertaker with it! BAM!! On the spot relief as the Undertaker has an instant..... orgasm in ring!!! Now there’s a first! That should relieve some of that worked up stress and anger!
The crowd chant for puppies as Chasey Lain leaves ringside and heads up the ramp.
JR: “Speechless king?”
King: “I’m just worried for Electron”
JR: “What!? You did see Chasey Lain just now right?”
I wonder who will get up first? What’s more energy draining, a powerbomb or.... ejaculation!? Amazingly Electron gets to his feet and immediently and somewhat wounded empties the contents of the brown bag which contains thousands of pins!! He spreads them around an area of the ring before picking the Undertaker up and uses kicks and punches to weaken him down, Electron (Tazz) locks in a front face lock over the pins and attempts to hoist the Taker (Jetster) up but he fights back with some fore arm blows he tries again but this time the Undertaker reverses and picks up Electron into a suplex but that again was reversed and Electron spins out of it and lands on his feet in the pins and quickly high kicks the Undertaker in the side of the head making his ear bleed and sends him bouncing off the turnbuckle, he then sweeps in from behind and nails a Full Nelson slam and drives him into the mat, WHAM!!
The crowd boo as he climbs the top rope and signals for his signature move the Electric Elbow!! Amazing. Some of the crowd cheer but the pins in Electrons boots cause for him to slip and OWWWWW!! No, no no. He lands right on the crown jewels!! His face goes white as the blood rushes to you know where, he slips to the other side of the ropes and slowly picks himself up using those ropes as leverage but the top one snaps as he grips it and Electron falls right through the table which he set up!! CRASH!! Then the steel bar rolls out the ring and hits him on the temple and a crowd member runs out and paints a 13 on his forehead. Woah!! What were the chances eh?
The crowd is in hysterics as the Undertaker walks down to the outside of the ring in fits of laughter himself, he picks up his fallen victim and by the throat CHOKESLAMS HIM THROUGH THE AMERICAN ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! CRASH!!! GOOD GOD that has got to be all!! The Undertaker quickly makes the pin, 1, 2..........3!! Of course it’s over, the Spanish announce team look pretty proud with themselves but then their table just randomly falls apart on them. (That’ll teach ya) The Undertaker leaves to celebrate his win. Well done Jetster!
JR: “Well, what a unusual match that was, but a wins a win and the Undertaker has come out on top”
King: “Yeah? Well I’m gay”
Thanks for reading
Starlight.
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Indeed. Although it was an insult to DoA and that just ain't right.
That match ruled.
Well that match was...er....different. Kinda of funny but I'm sure the REAL match will set you right. BTW, stroking your brain might cause this.
HA HA.
You can all ignore this now the real match will be up in a matter of minutes.
This is just a product of boredom and too many Trey Parker films. One day I'll make this sort or weird humour mainstream (kinda like with South Park) and claim my millions. Oh yes.
*strokes brains
That's right brains.
:)
You can all ignore this now the real match will be up in a matter of minutes.
This is just a product of boredom and too many Trey Parker films. One day I'll make this sort or weird humour mainstream (kinda like with South Park) and claim my millions. Oh yes.
*strokes brains
That's right brains.
:)
On the other hand Andy, that match did make me laugh, especially Electron's entrance.
(Y)
(Y)
Andy...the other night, when you asked me whether people would mind if the match was offensive? I didn't expect this. :D
erm...well, Electron's attire made me laugh. :D
Well at least the PPV hasn't officially started yet.
And so that's what you meant by "top shelf stuff"! :D
erm...well, Electron's attire made me laugh. :D
Well at least the PPV hasn't officially started yet.
And so that's what you meant by "top shelf stuff"! :D
Been speaking to Matt, Andy :) and we both agree that the match needs re-writing, as though it is a PPV match.
It wasn't the in-ring action that was bad, it was Electron's fighting style and all. Maybe its our fault for not giving you Electron's Caw profile though. :)
So, if you could mate, could you re-write it, maybe re-cap on the build up to the match (see Jae's promo further down the page) and see Electron's profile? If not, Matt's offered to do it.
Up to you.
It wasn't the in-ring action that was bad, it was Electron's fighting style and all. Maybe its our fault for not giving you Electron's Caw profile though. :)
So, if you could mate, could you re-write it, maybe re-cap on the build up to the match (see Jae's promo further down the page) and see Electron's profile? If not, Matt's offered to do it.
Up to you.
Heh, I agree with Congy. :D
Perhaps I should have given you Electron's CAW...
Perhaps I should have given you Electron's CAW...
Says you, who makes threats over an Internet chat forum and finishes his posts with a childish comment like "...nuff said".
And the tears? Well you said, “This match sucks, I'm going home.” Which indicates you were sulking over a bloody pretend wrestling match. And when you sulk, tears can form. And saying the comment “Tazz doesn’t cry”? Well I think we all know that’s rubbish.
And the tears? Well you said, “This match sucks, I'm going home.” Which indicates you were sulking over a bloody pretend wrestling match. And when you sulk, tears can form. And saying the comment “Tazz doesn’t cry”? Well I think we all know that’s rubbish.
I enjoyed the match, reminded me of what a comedy belt the Hardcore title was.
Well done.
Oh and Tazz, you can stop crying now.
Tazz doesn't cry, but he'd be more than happy to make you cry. I don't know what gave you the impression I was releasing tears from any area of my face. You obviously had nothing better to do, so being a "random" guy, you decided to post so random comment. I'll ignore any further posts from you. You clearly have little common sense.
...nuff said.
Well done.
Oh and Tazz, you can stop crying now.
Tazz doesn't cry, but he'd be more than happy to make you cry. I don't know what gave you the impression I was releasing tears from any area of my face. You obviously had nothing better to do, so being a "random" guy, you decided to post so random comment. I'll ignore any further posts from you. You clearly have little common sense.
...nuff said.
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