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Having said that, too much of one thing will eventually rot your soul, so perhaps it's for the best that you were banned.
Maybe you need counseling?
Sound right?
I think i'm a bit insane though. (i'm not trying to be stupid) I do really crazy stuff, the other day I was riding my bike at about 30mph, and I delibrately crashed into a tree, I really hurt myself, I don't know why I did it, but then afterwards I did it again. Maybe i liked the danger/ addrenaline or something. It felt good. Also, if i'm upset, I find it actually helps if I cause myself harm. I used to stab my self with pins and it wouldn't hurt, but it would almost take away the emotion.
Except one time, at band camp...