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If you want people to read it at least break it down into paragraph's.
Skipped straight past it - big blocks of text just aren't any good.
Everyone's just so damned lazy these days.
Then I'll read it - from the bits I scanned it read quite well.
> I lay in the dark, the room around me is silent, everything is still,
> occasionally the passing of a car outside breaks the silence
> surrounding me, but the quiet swiftly returns. I lie on my front; the
> mattress beneath me is cold, but soft. I breathe in and out slowly and
> deeply. I roll onto my back and pull up the duvet so it swamps around
> me, an attempt to keep warm, a wasted attempt. My thoughts are the
> only noise in the room, and they are in my head, I cannot silence
> them, they persist to be. I open my eyes, nothing is visible around
> me, the desk, the TV, the floor, the walls, all is lost under a sheet
> of darkness. I wonder if I am alone, then I realize, I’m always alone.
> My thoughts continue to keep me awake, I am unable to relax. I try to
> think of a way to express them, but can think of nothing so I just let
> them continue. Outside the window I hear two people walking along
> together laughing, clearly they are drunk, I wonder where they have
> been and what fun they must have had. One of them says something, the
> words muffled by the window, but that laugh afterwards not. They walk
> out of earshot and the silence returns once again. I think of the day
> I have ahead of me and hope it can only be better than the one I have
> had today, all the ones I have had lately. My mind torments me, it is
> my worst enemy but I cannot be without it, not for one second. I roll
> onto my side and pull the blanket into the crease between neck and
> shoulder. I ask myself why do I act like everything is normal, nothing
> has changed? Why do I waste my time fitting in? I don’t care anymore,
> and I defiantly don’t know the answer to these questions. I don’t
> care. I fear the problems that could be ahead, I do not want change, I
> do not want to leave the surroundings I have spent so long developing.
> My mind torments me, makes me feel worse. I continue to think, asking
> myself questions I do not know the answer to, and do not want to
> answer. The fighting of two cats interrupts my train of thought, they
> scream at each other, scratching, hissing, attacking. They maul each
> other for a few minutes then one runs away, picks up his pride and
> runs. The second cat stays, he cries, whimpers for himself, moans into
> the night, eventually he realizes he is alone. He settles down
> somewhere outside, sleeps. I am alone again, silence, darkness, cold.
> My thoughts slowly creep back into my head, questioning me, teasing
> me, scaring me. I wonder how much longer I can take this, what I have
> done to deserve it. My mind is dangerous to me, It destroys me inside
> slowly. I lay in a state of semi-unconsciousness, my face
> expressionless. A car pulls up outside, across the gravel it turns,
> the headlight beams intruding through my window. Four squares of
> window slither up my wall, they show my pin-board for a moment, then
> the car engine stops and darkness is returned. Footsteps travel across
> the gravel in pairs, two faint voices are whispering, they enter a
> house and all is quiet. I lay depressed, I want no more, I wonder why
> I bother with everyday when I know it ends like this. I close my eyes,
> but my mind stays open. A few minutes more pass. Then a single
> electronic note breaks the silence, it pierces the room with its high
> pitch, it is short and sharp. A green light illuminates the
> surroundings; it casts light through my closed eyelids. A buzzing
> sound now nags for my attention, three buzzes in two-second intervals.
> It is you. The silence is broken, the darkness is gone, the loneliness
> is gone. This is why I need you; you keep me going. But you cannot be
> there always, and the night has a long way to go.
*******
Better for you?
I quite liked it, but have to confess that I didn't entirely know what was going on at the end there with the green light. I fear that I may have missed the point.
Well written though.
I like that kind of writing, it's a bit like how I write sometimes ... kinda go off on one.
Cool.