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"With all the clever people in the world..."

You would think someone would be able to make people who smoke so much not smell like horrible nicotine and other cigarette smells.

Now I am not having a go at smoking, or people who do it. They can do it if they like but what I am getting on at is the folk like the woman on the train beside me who was mingin of the stuff up to the point where I had to get up and move.

You would think they could make it smell a little easier on the hungover people out there.
Maybe make it smell like a bacon roll or flowers or cheese. :-)

On second thoughts why can't these people just wash.....
Would make everything work the way it should.

I live with a guy who smokes in his room. It's not too bad, you occasionally get the odd stench, but the worst thing is whenever you use the vacuum cleaner - it's full of cigarette ash, which stinks whatever carpet you're vacumming right up.

I don't mind the smell on trains, it's BO problems and worse that %$&£ me off. Sat next to a Goth girl at the start of a long train journey and had to move because she obviously hadn't washed for a fortnight. I watched another poor guy jump on the train at the last second and thank his lucky stars he actually found a seat. I felt really bad for him for the next hour and a bit :O(

Or you could headbutt the tramp and still his gear...

Insane Bartender wrote:
> Alternatively, just look at them until they say "what?" and
> tell them in no uncertain terms "Dear God you stink of
> crap."
---

When crammed into trains, I pray for someone to give me an excuse. Packed in, everyone's tense and I get punchy.

Oh for a supersilious face to beg for a headbutt.

Hmmm...that's all well and good but what if you get onto a crowded tube in the morning and notice a spare seat at the far end of the carriage? This happened to me one morning a year or so ago.

Chuckling to myself at my good fortune, I sauntered (actually, I struggled) my way to the spare seat and was immediately suspicious - suited businessmen and the like were giving the spare seat a wide berth, mainly because there was an unsightly looking tramp wecdged into the adjacent seat.

"To hell with these pedantic fools. I'm having that seat!", I thought to myself and slumped into the seat.

That's when I noticed THE SMELL. A sort of obnixious odour that someone with leprosy would exude, a fetid, rank abhorrent stench that someone without a nose would be able to somehow smell. In short, it was horrible.

I looked around and notice a couple of smirks on various faces to tell me others had suffered the same fate. Just when I was about to get up, I noticed movment.

The tramp lifted his head, opened a bleary eye towards all and looked around whilst simultaneously lifting a can of coke towards his lips. I flinched - not from the tramp, but because the can of coca-cola was mangled beyond repair and look akin to a piece of scrap metal rather than a luxurious soft drink on a hot tube. My amazement was compounded when he lifted a lighter and started burning something in a small hole in the can that I didn't initially notice. Then I waft of something hit my nose and the tramp started inhaling...CRACK!

Yes, my worst fears were confirmed. I was on a packed tube at 8.30 in the morning, on my way to work and getting high on crack fumes as a tramp sat next to me and nonchalantly smoked away! And no-one did ANYTHING! Apart from raising their newspapers so they couldn't see the blatant breach of health and safety regulations, not to mention the criminal offence carrying on before their own eyes, they decided to IGNORE him.

The purple drug fumes lazily congregated around the carriage and I got off the tube at the next stop, feeling rather lightheaded (no dount from the fumes) and waited for the next tube train whilst silently berating myself for my stupid haste and enthusiasm at finding a free seat on a packed train. Never again would I take things at face value.

Moral of the stroy: Don't sit next to tramps unless you need to get high.

Slaveunit wrote:
> I'd have told him, quite bluntly, where to stick his leaflets. I hate
> those guys - people who force their beliefs on others...

I disagree with his methods, but there is a difference between 'forcing his belief on others' and telling them about something he believes in.

> The sagacious one wrote:
> "I am a brother of Islam and I bring you a message".
>
I'd have told him, quite bluntly, where to stick his leaflets. I hate those guys - people who force their beliefs on others...

The sagacious one wrote:
> brother's seat and declared "I am a brother of Islam and I bring
> you a message". With that he reached into his bag and pulled out
> numeorus leaflets promoting peace and started to espouse the virtues
> of love, kindness and tolerance.

He'd have had my boot in his face before the sentence was finished. This would have resulted in the highly ironic flinging of his bag and emptying of "make love not war" leaflets all over the cabin floor.

The sagacious one wrote:
"I am a brother of Islam and I bring you a message".

I'd have probably s**t myself.
Sorry, but thats the honest truth.

Insane Bartender wrote:
> Alternatively, just look at them until they say "what?" and
> tell them in no uncertain terms "Dear God you stink of
> crap."

Knowing me, I'd pick the one guy who would do something about it, and get my face smashed in.

Selectively, it would work. I.e. business men (possibly the worst offenders anyway) and little scally kids who do it coz they think its hard.
Just avoid all those with no hair, and about six ear rings in their eye balls or whatever new place they've found to put them these days.

I personally find that someone reeking of stale booze from the night before (especially if they have been drinking spirits) much more offensive than someone stinking of smoke.

Perfume soaked women / Aftershave soaked men (the type where it catches the back of your throat) is also a persoanl bugbear.

Give me my tabs anyday.............