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Really this stunk like a hobo-skunk mutation created by the Government to hunt down Pigeons, that had spent the last two weeks wading through the sewer systems underneath the Dung factories of Stinkville. Segal waddled throughout the entire film and I actually spotted a couple of moments where they speeded up some of his "moves". The plot had me as rivited as a corrogated fence made in a sweat shop in Taiwan. The special effects, ah some good but mostly terrible and as for the mad bad man, terrifying, to think that someone actually cast him in the role. His curly permed hair put in a better peformance.
The only good bit of the film was "Stilgar from Dune" muttering away and getting off on pain. Then he ruins it be offering to duke with Segal one on one, when he has a gun, a hostage and a grenade.
The only good bit of the film was "Stilgar from Dune" muttering away and getting off on pain. Then he ruins it be offering to duke with Segal one on one, when he has a gun, a hostage and a grenade.
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Really this stunk like a hobo-skunk mutation created by the Government to hunt down Pigeons, that had spent the last two weeks wading through the sewer systems underneath the Dung factories of Stinkville. Segal waddled throughout the entire film and I actually spotted a couple of moments where they speeded up some of his "moves". The plot had me as rivited as a corrogated fence made in a sweat shop in Taiwan. The special effects, ah some good but mostly terrible and as for the mad bad man, terrifying, to think that someone actually cast him in the role. His curly permed hair put in a better peformance.
The only good bit of the film was "Stilgar from Dune" muttering away and getting off on pain. Then he ruins it be offering to duke with Segal one on one, when he has a gun, a hostage and a grenade.
The only good bit of the film was "Stilgar from Dune" muttering away and getting off on pain. Then he ruins it be offering to duke with Segal one on one, when he has a gun, a hostage and a grenade.
I saw The Glimmer Man a few years ago and thought it was pretty cool as Segal was a hard-nut Buddhist with a feathery necklace and a credit card knife, I then saw the first half an hour of it when it was on TV a couple of months back, now that I'm older and wiser, I realise how wrong I was. It sucks, just like the rest of Segal's movies.
I read that Segal has actually got a price on his head from some sort of Mafia after he got into a scuffle with one of their organisation type people. May just have been a film though.
I find Steven "Squinty" Seagal and his portly kung-fu shapes to be mildly diverting if
(a) Drunk
(b) Too young to remember Michael Dudikoff.
He's not only a tubby weapon of lethal -if murky- hand movement karate, but can also whisper various semi-coherent lines of dialogue along the lines of "Steven sleepy now" and "Steven kick the terrorist".
He also plays in a country & western band and is the reincarnation of an obese, small-eyed Tibetan Soldier of Fortune, ex-CIA bloke.
It's his winning combination of lazy geriatric self-defence, ability to mumble like a porky stroke-victim and his complete lack of jawline that makes me worship at the Temple of Seagal.
Plus Wings Hauser could totally kick his face off.
I still want to be adopted by Daddy Hauser and live on his action ranch
(a) Drunk
(b) Too young to remember Michael Dudikoff.
He's not only a tubby weapon of lethal -if murky- hand movement karate, but can also whisper various semi-coherent lines of dialogue along the lines of "Steven sleepy now" and "Steven kick the terrorist".
He also plays in a country & western band and is the reincarnation of an obese, small-eyed Tibetan Soldier of Fortune, ex-CIA bloke.
It's his winning combination of lazy geriatric self-defence, ability to mumble like a porky stroke-victim and his complete lack of jawline that makes me worship at the Temple of Seagal.
Plus Wings Hauser could totally kick his face off.
I still want to be adopted by Daddy Hauser and live on his action ranch
He is a life size action-man dolly. No two ways about it.
Has anyone seen that film Segal directed himself? I can't remember the name of it, but it has Michael Cain in it (Christ knows what he's doing in it) and it is with out a doubt one of the worst action films I've seen.
Segal is the ex-special forces black ops commando who now has just a normal everyday job working on an Alaskan pipeline, and Michael Cain is evil mercenary hiring multi-million dollar business man who wants to kill some Eskimos, to make some more money I think. Can't remember the details exactly, but there isn't much remember anyway so what the hell.
One thing I found quite funny about the film was the fact that Segal seems to kill, maim and beat people with in an inch of their lives, not to stop some world threatening terrorist threat, but to save the Alaskan environment. That's right, Steven Segal in the film, is an Environmentalist, that's how stupid how stupid it is.
Segal is the ex-special forces black ops commando who now has just a normal everyday job working on an Alaskan pipeline, and Michael Cain is evil mercenary hiring multi-million dollar business man who wants to kill some Eskimos, to make some more money I think. Can't remember the details exactly, but there isn't much remember anyway so what the hell.
One thing I found quite funny about the film was the fact that Segal seems to kill, maim and beat people with in an inch of their lives, not to stop some world threatening terrorist threat, but to save the Alaskan environment. That's right, Steven Segal in the film, is an Environmentalist, that's how stupid how stupid it is.
Yeah, I've seen that one, called "Under Pipes of Death", or something equally as stupid.
On Deadly Ground or something it was called.
Anyway, Under Siege 1 was actually very good, but only because of Gary Busey, Tommy Lee Jones and Colm Meany. Oh, and that Playboy girl, Erika something or other.
Anyway, Under Siege 1 was actually very good, but only because of Gary Busey, Tommy Lee Jones and Colm Meany. Oh, and that Playboy girl, Erika something or other.
Under siege 1 was very cheesey, like every other seagal film. Tommy lee saved it though.
monkey_man wrote:
> I read that Segal has actually got a price on his head from some sort
> of Mafia after he got into a scuffle with one of their organisation
> type people. May just have been a film though.
No this is true, he actually went to court about 2 weeks ago to testify that the russian mafia were threatening him and his family if he didn't give then $200k for every film he made!
Have you noticed he has a simular action in his limbs to that of the cardboard cutout used for the John Smiths adverts. And why did no-one in any one of his films say to him "For christ sakes speak up a bit and stop whispering, I can't blooming hear you?"
> I read that Segal has actually got a price on his head from some sort
> of Mafia after he got into a scuffle with one of their organisation
> type people. May just have been a film though.
No this is true, he actually went to court about 2 weeks ago to testify that the russian mafia were threatening him and his family if he didn't give then $200k for every film he made!
Have you noticed he has a simular action in his limbs to that of the cardboard cutout used for the John Smiths adverts. And why did no-one in any one of his films say to him "For christ sakes speak up a bit and stop whispering, I can't blooming hear you?"
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