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Howdy there. I’m sure if you’re reading this you know the drill, so I’ll just get down to it.
The Plot Twist of Star Ocean (don’t worry – no spoilers)
Star Ocean is a great game and a fine addition to any RPG fan's collection. It spans two discs and has a bunch of stuff to do with an awesome battle system, so - where did it go wrong? Well, usually I love a nice plot twist, they're great. I love seeing girls in pink dresses get impaled, and the whole “I'M YOUR FATHER!” shindig is great. I love being kept on my toes. So why's this one so bad? Well, let's just say it will pretty much kill the story for you. It’s not so much that it was a bad idea, but just that the execution was awful. It's like the developers had two ideas for a story, and then mashed them together without thinking about how dire the end result would be. Not to mention, it renders the 80% of the game before the plot twist and the previous games in the series almost completely pointless, as though they were done for nothing. It was a shocking plot twist, but for all the wrong reasons.
Film-to-Game and Vice Versa
Need a cheap way to make money? Copy a film or copy a game. Either way, 95% of the time they're awful. With the very rare case it works – the Goldeneye game is a great example, and the Silent Hill film was very well done too (particularly the first half). But besides those, they're by and large terrible. Mario (in the most hilarious way possible), Street Fighter, Alone in the Dark, House of the Dead and Bloodrayne are all terrible. And EA just turn every single Hollywood film into a mediocre game. It frustrates me the way in which they waste so much money on things that aren’t even original.
maz sic nough 2 hav his own game u no tsk
Oh dear, ego alert. I haven't even played 50 Cent: Bulletproof (I wouldn't dare), but anybody who makes a game starring themselves with their “crew”, hunting down a man who supposedly shot him in the head 10 times has problems. Just that is a screw-up in itself, not to mention ol’ 50 Cent claiming it would be the greatest game ever made and that parents should play it with their kids so they can understand the story behind it, of revenge, violence and life. lol k.
Halo 2 Single-Player
I'm a big fan of FPS games, and I enjoyed the original Halo very much. It has a great single and multiplayer mode, and has a pretty decent plot to boot. Then Halo 2 is released, and I was naturally pretty anxious to give it a go. First level, alright...it's pretty much exactly the same as the opening level of Halo 1, but I got over that, I can live with that.
Then we go down to Earth, which I like, I like Earth. I was expecting some big battles, which I never saw but still, I got over that. Then, he came. The Arbiter. The story took a turn for the worse and not only became too complex for even the game to understand, but it was messy. Messy and dull. And after everybody complained about the Library level in the first Halo game, the last 2-3 levels were EXACTLY the same, if not more horrible than the Library. Oh, and it has the most anti-climatic ending I've ever seen to a game. For what it's worth, the multiplayer rocks, and they obviously focused all of their attention on that.
Releasing New “Better” Models of a New Console
One of many, many things that irks me is when companies release a newer model of a console or handheld after the original, particularly when it’s unnecessary. Although I can see how this would be a good thing for a person who hasn't bought the console yet or has enough money to replace the console (and it’s no doubt good for company prosperity), this is one thing that makes my blood boil.
The most recent example would be the DS Lite. Yes, it looks very pretty. Yes, it's more comfortable and yes, yes, yes, it's all nice and good, but what about all the people who bought the original and don't have the dosh to dish out another £80? It’s basically spitting on all those people who bought the original and now “uglier” console. I consider this a screw up, because instead of ripping everyone off to replace a console they only just bought, they should have considered all of this the first time around instead of releasing a newer version. I have no doubt that it’s all a marketing strategy, but it’s still a great annoyance nonetheless.
Spin-Offs
For the love of God - why do these exist!? The majority of spin-offs are dire - they're just a cheap and lazy way for developers to make a quick bit of cash. They usually feel like a poor man’s version of the original, and there are some God-awful spin-offs out there, believe me. Some widely-recognised poor spin-offs include Shadow the Hedgehog, Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles, Metal Gear Acid (this one’s arguable, perhaps), and Silent Hill Origins (hell, it’s not even out yet but looks painful). Say no to spin-offs, kids. NO NO NO NO NO.
Dragon Ratio in Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter
When I buy a new game, I always try to enjoy the game as much as possible. I try to go into every single game with a completely open mind and give it a fair chance. Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter was one game that I simply could not enjoy. I simply found it as dull as a doorpost, and thought the battle system was mediocre at best. However, I decided to not to judge a game by the first 30 minutes or so, and so I quite literally dragged myself through about 5 or 6 hours of the game. I soon realised you only have two other people in your party for the entire game, and those other two characters are pretty awful - one of them doesn't even talk and they're both useless in battle. However, as always, I decided to keep pushing and pushing.
I think the final nail in the coffin for this game was the Dragon Ratio. I've never played the other Breath of Fire games, but this had to be one of the worst ideas ever. Throughout the entire game, you have a percentage on your screen. When that percentage reaches 100%, it's game over. You literally, and I mean literally have to start the entire game again. There is no way to slow down or reduce the percentage, and no item to knock off 5% or so. When it's full, it's over. Your limit break in this game allows you to turn into a dragon-like creature which is pretty awesome, besides the fact that each attack in the dragon form costs about 5%. So, the entire game is on a time limit, and you're punished for using limit breaks. Wonderful. On top of that, they expected you to start the entire game again because it'll be easy with a few of the experience points you picked up first time round. Like the game wasn’t dull enough just the once.
Rareware’s Switching to Microsoft
How does one of the best gaming companies of all time go from hero to zero? One word. Xbox'D. Now known as “Rare”, Rareware was one of the biggest reasons the N64 was a success. They made some of the best games ever - Goldeneye, Donkey Kong 64, Perfect Dark, Jet Force Gemini, Banjo Kazooie/Tooie and Conker's Bad Fur Day. Seriously, these guys were awesome. But then, in 2002 they sold out and were bought by Microsoft, and ever since then, they have made poor game after poor game. They were a massive failure on the Xbox and made roughly a whopping two games, one of which was essentially a remake of Conker's Bad Fur Day.
On the 360, they then made Perfect Dark Zero, the prequel to the original Perfect Dark on the N64, which I have to say was an extremely disappointing game. Alongside that was Kameo. Well, I bet they're proud of themselves - a massive output that’s undoubtedly well worth the money Microsoft gave them. I consider this one of the worst decisions in gaming history.
DISC ERROR. UNABLE TO READ DISC.
That's right. Everything else on the list so far is terrible, but it's bearable. We can live with Rare games; we can get over dire ideas or terrible sequels, but what I can't get over is when a game crashes after many, many hours of work. There was one moment in God of War, whilst trawling through God Mode, where the game crashed after there wasn't a save point for a long period of time. RPGs that crash after you've spent ages levelling up, or after you've defeated a horrible boss are also banes of my existence. Why, oh why does it have to happen? Glitches, crashes, disc errors, black outs - everything. Damn them all!
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed and were entertained by my old-man rants!
Reefer.
The Plot Twist of Star Ocean (don’t worry – no spoilers)
Star Ocean is a great game and a fine addition to any RPG fan's collection. It spans two discs and has a bunch of stuff to do with an awesome battle system, so - where did it go wrong? Well, usually I love a nice plot twist, they're great. I love seeing girls in pink dresses get impaled, and the whole “I'M YOUR FATHER!” shindig is great. I love being kept on my toes. So why's this one so bad? Well, let's just say it will pretty much kill the story for you. It’s not so much that it was a bad idea, but just that the execution was awful. It's like the developers had two ideas for a story, and then mashed them together without thinking about how dire the end result would be. Not to mention, it renders the 80% of the game before the plot twist and the previous games in the series almost completely pointless, as though they were done for nothing. It was a shocking plot twist, but for all the wrong reasons.
Film-to-Game and Vice Versa
Need a cheap way to make money? Copy a film or copy a game. Either way, 95% of the time they're awful. With the very rare case it works – the Goldeneye game is a great example, and the Silent Hill film was very well done too (particularly the first half). But besides those, they're by and large terrible. Mario (in the most hilarious way possible), Street Fighter, Alone in the Dark, House of the Dead and Bloodrayne are all terrible. And EA just turn every single Hollywood film into a mediocre game. It frustrates me the way in which they waste so much money on things that aren’t even original.
maz sic nough 2 hav his own game u no tsk
Oh dear, ego alert. I haven't even played 50 Cent: Bulletproof (I wouldn't dare), but anybody who makes a game starring themselves with their “crew”, hunting down a man who supposedly shot him in the head 10 times has problems. Just that is a screw-up in itself, not to mention ol’ 50 Cent claiming it would be the greatest game ever made and that parents should play it with their kids so they can understand the story behind it, of revenge, violence and life. lol k.
Halo 2 Single-Player
I'm a big fan of FPS games, and I enjoyed the original Halo very much. It has a great single and multiplayer mode, and has a pretty decent plot to boot. Then Halo 2 is released, and I was naturally pretty anxious to give it a go. First level, alright...it's pretty much exactly the same as the opening level of Halo 1, but I got over that, I can live with that.
Then we go down to Earth, which I like, I like Earth. I was expecting some big battles, which I never saw but still, I got over that. Then, he came. The Arbiter. The story took a turn for the worse and not only became too complex for even the game to understand, but it was messy. Messy and dull. And after everybody complained about the Library level in the first Halo game, the last 2-3 levels were EXACTLY the same, if not more horrible than the Library. Oh, and it has the most anti-climatic ending I've ever seen to a game. For what it's worth, the multiplayer rocks, and they obviously focused all of their attention on that.
Releasing New “Better” Models of a New Console
One of many, many things that irks me is when companies release a newer model of a console or handheld after the original, particularly when it’s unnecessary. Although I can see how this would be a good thing for a person who hasn't bought the console yet or has enough money to replace the console (and it’s no doubt good for company prosperity), this is one thing that makes my blood boil.
The most recent example would be the DS Lite. Yes, it looks very pretty. Yes, it's more comfortable and yes, yes, yes, it's all nice and good, but what about all the people who bought the original and don't have the dosh to dish out another £80? It’s basically spitting on all those people who bought the original and now “uglier” console. I consider this a screw up, because instead of ripping everyone off to replace a console they only just bought, they should have considered all of this the first time around instead of releasing a newer version. I have no doubt that it’s all a marketing strategy, but it’s still a great annoyance nonetheless.
Spin-Offs
For the love of God - why do these exist!? The majority of spin-offs are dire - they're just a cheap and lazy way for developers to make a quick bit of cash. They usually feel like a poor man’s version of the original, and there are some God-awful spin-offs out there, believe me. Some widely-recognised poor spin-offs include Shadow the Hedgehog, Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles, Metal Gear Acid (this one’s arguable, perhaps), and Silent Hill Origins (hell, it’s not even out yet but looks painful). Say no to spin-offs, kids. NO NO NO NO NO.
Dragon Ratio in Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter
When I buy a new game, I always try to enjoy the game as much as possible. I try to go into every single game with a completely open mind and give it a fair chance. Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter was one game that I simply could not enjoy. I simply found it as dull as a doorpost, and thought the battle system was mediocre at best. However, I decided to not to judge a game by the first 30 minutes or so, and so I quite literally dragged myself through about 5 or 6 hours of the game. I soon realised you only have two other people in your party for the entire game, and those other two characters are pretty awful - one of them doesn't even talk and they're both useless in battle. However, as always, I decided to keep pushing and pushing.
I think the final nail in the coffin for this game was the Dragon Ratio. I've never played the other Breath of Fire games, but this had to be one of the worst ideas ever. Throughout the entire game, you have a percentage on your screen. When that percentage reaches 100%, it's game over. You literally, and I mean literally have to start the entire game again. There is no way to slow down or reduce the percentage, and no item to knock off 5% or so. When it's full, it's over. Your limit break in this game allows you to turn into a dragon-like creature which is pretty awesome, besides the fact that each attack in the dragon form costs about 5%. So, the entire game is on a time limit, and you're punished for using limit breaks. Wonderful. On top of that, they expected you to start the entire game again because it'll be easy with a few of the experience points you picked up first time round. Like the game wasn’t dull enough just the once.
Rareware’s Switching to Microsoft
How does one of the best gaming companies of all time go from hero to zero? One word. Xbox'D. Now known as “Rare”, Rareware was one of the biggest reasons the N64 was a success. They made some of the best games ever - Goldeneye, Donkey Kong 64, Perfect Dark, Jet Force Gemini, Banjo Kazooie/Tooie and Conker's Bad Fur Day. Seriously, these guys were awesome. But then, in 2002 they sold out and were bought by Microsoft, and ever since then, they have made poor game after poor game. They were a massive failure on the Xbox and made roughly a whopping two games, one of which was essentially a remake of Conker's Bad Fur Day.
On the 360, they then made Perfect Dark Zero, the prequel to the original Perfect Dark on the N64, which I have to say was an extremely disappointing game. Alongside that was Kameo. Well, I bet they're proud of themselves - a massive output that’s undoubtedly well worth the money Microsoft gave them. I consider this one of the worst decisions in gaming history.
DISC ERROR. UNABLE TO READ DISC.
That's right. Everything else on the list so far is terrible, but it's bearable. We can live with Rare games; we can get over dire ideas or terrible sequels, but what I can't get over is when a game crashes after many, many hours of work. There was one moment in God of War, whilst trawling through God Mode, where the game crashed after there wasn't a save point for a long period of time. RPGs that crash after you've spent ages levelling up, or after you've defeated a horrible boss are also banes of my existence. Why, oh why does it have to happen? Glitches, crashes, disc errors, black outs - everything. Damn them all!
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed and were entertained by my old-man rants!
Reefer.
heh i was tempted to snap the card in two on a few occasions. Each time i just left FF7 for a couple of months, played another RPG then went back to it
Kawada wrote:
> Or it's just the same old typical Nintendo move to get more money
> out of the customers for basically the same thing with a couple
> of changes, and fair play to them if they can get away with it
>
>
> Smedlos wrote:
> My memory card for my PS1 one broke and I lost all my saved
> games - hours of LMA Manager and Sim City 2000 lost.
> AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!
>
> Oh yes i too have suffered the PSX memory card curse. 4 times i
> played FF7 and each time around the 40-45 hour mark the memory
> card came up with corrupted data. So on the 5th attempt when i
> got past 40 i just left the console on until i had finished it.
> Good job FF7 was such an awesome game and i wanted to see the
> ending otherwise i doubt i'd have put up with that
Jesus! I probably would've broken the disc out of anger. I was annoyed enough when my 10-hour FF7 save corrupted.
> Or it's just the same old typical Nintendo move to get more money
> out of the customers for basically the same thing with a couple
> of changes, and fair play to them if they can get away with it
>
>
> Smedlos wrote:
> My memory card for my PS1 one broke and I lost all my saved
> games - hours of LMA Manager and Sim City 2000 lost.
> AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!
>
> Oh yes i too have suffered the PSX memory card curse. 4 times i
> played FF7 and each time around the 40-45 hour mark the memory
> card came up with corrupted data. So on the 5th attempt when i
> got past 40 i just left the console on until i had finished it.
> Good job FF7 was such an awesome game and i wanted to see the
> ending otherwise i doubt i'd have put up with that
Jesus! I probably would've broken the disc out of anger. I was annoyed enough when my 10-hour FF7 save corrupted.
I didn't play FF10 for 5 months after I killed the third seymour on the big mountian and the game froze in a cutscene.
I hate damaged discs.
I hate damaged discs.
Didn't say it wasn't across the board, still doesn't make it right either, but then like i say if they can get away with it and make more profits, then fair play to them, they're a business and need to make cash
Kawada wrote:
> Or it's just the same old typical Nintendo move to get more money
> out of the customers for basically the same thing with a couple
> of changes, and fair play to them if they can get away with it
>
>
It's across the board (bar, perhaps the stubbon Microsoft). PS1, PSX, PS2, Slimline. Even going back to the Megadrive models...
> Or it's just the same old typical Nintendo move to get more money
> out of the customers for basically the same thing with a couple
> of changes, and fair play to them if they can get away with it
>
>
It's across the board (bar, perhaps the stubbon Microsoft). PS1, PSX, PS2, Slimline. Even going back to the Megadrive models...
Or it's just the same old typical Nintendo move to get more money out of the customers for basically the same thing with a couple of changes, and fair play to them if they can get away with it
Smedlos wrote:
> My memory card for my PS1 one broke and I lost all my saved
> games - hours of LMA Manager and Sim City 2000 lost.
> AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Oh yes i too have suffered the PSX memory card curse. 4 times i played FF7 and each time around the 40-45 hour mark the memory card came up with corrupted data. So on the 5th attempt when i got past 40 i just left the console on until i had finished it. Good job FF7 was such an awesome game and i wanted to see the ending otherwise i doubt i'd have put up with that
Smedlos wrote:
> My memory card for my PS1 one broke and I lost all my saved
> games - hours of LMA Manager and Sim City 2000 lost.
> AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Oh yes i too have suffered the PSX memory card curse. 4 times i played FF7 and each time around the 40-45 hour mark the memory card came up with corrupted data. So on the 5th attempt when i got past 40 i just left the console on until i had finished it. Good job FF7 was such an awesome game and i wanted to see the ending otherwise i doubt i'd have put up with that
Alfonse wrote:
> Oh well, if you were sensible like me you wouldn't have bought
> the original DS because it was so ugly. Hehe. Precious shiny DS
> lite, how I love you.
It's only because the technology can be made smaller over time and other constraints such as time and money prevent the designers from getting what they want the first time.
Yeah, it's annoying for the early buyers, but improvements are made and most of the time they're worthwhile...
> Oh well, if you were sensible like me you wouldn't have bought
> the original DS because it was so ugly. Hehe. Precious shiny DS
> lite, how I love you.
It's only because the technology can be made smaller over time and other constraints such as time and money prevent the designers from getting what they want the first time.
Yeah, it's annoying for the early buyers, but improvements are made and most of the time they're worthwhile...
Reefer wrote:
> Film-to-Game and Vice Versa
> Need a cheap way to make money? Copy a film or copy a game.
> Either way, 95% of the time they're awful. With the very rare
> case it works – the Goldeneye game is a great example, and the
> Silent Hill film was very well done too (particularly the first
> half). But besides those, they're by and large terrible. Mario
> (in the most hilarious way possible), Street Fighter, Alone in
> the Dark, House of the Dead and Bloodrayne are all terrible. And
> EA just turn every single Hollywood film into a mediocre game. > It frustrates me the way in which they waste so much money on > things that aren’t even original.
I never go for film to game conversions as they are usually very poor games that try and follow the plot of the film and it just doesn't work.
Game to film conversions aren't as bad but most are poor as well. The one that sticks out in my mind is the Street Fighter movie that was pretty bad and the Strret Fighter game that came from that was awful.
I can imagine the scene in the production office. "Mortal Kombat is using real actors for it's games and they're doing really well, lets copy them it'll be a huge success"
> maz sic nough 2 hav his own game u no tsk
> Oh dear, ego alert. I haven't even played 50 Cent: Bulletproof
> (I wouldn't dare), but anybody who makes a game starring
> themselves with their “crew”, hunting down a man who supposedly
> shot him in the head 10 times has problems. Just that is a
> screw-up in itself, not to mention ol’ 50 Cent claiming it would
> be the greatest game ever made and that parents should play it
> with their kids so they can understand the story behind it, of
> revenge, violence and life. lol k.
I wasn't aware of the story behind this game until I read this but it's not a good idea for a game really. Bet it will sell well though.........
> Releasing New “Better” Models of a New Console
> One of many, many things that irks me is when companies release
> a newer model of a console or handheld after the original,
> particularly when it’s unnecessary. Although I can see how this
> would be a good thing for a person who hasn't bought the console
> yet or has enough money to replace the console (and it’s no > doubt good for company prosperity), this is one thing that > makes my blood boil.
I hate it when they do this as well it's like saying that the original wasn't how they wanted it to be and they released it anyway to get a few sales and now the final version is out so go but this one now. The GBA is an example of this how they went to the flip top one after a bit.
> Spin-Offs
> For the love of God - why do these exist!?
MONEY MONEY MONEY!
> DISC ERROR. UNABLE TO READ DISC.
> That's right. Everything else on the list so far is terrible,
> but it's bearable. We can live with Rare games; we can get over
> dire ideas or terrible sequels, but what I can't get over is
> when a game crashes after many, many hours of work. There was
> one moment in God of War, whilst trawling through God Mode,
> where the game crashed after there wasn't a save point for a
> long period of time. RPGs that crash after you've spent ages
> levelling up, or after you've defeated a horrible boss are also
> banes of my existence. Why, oh why does it have to happen?
> Glitches, crashes, disc errors, black outs - everything. Damn
> them all!
My memory card for my PS1 one broke and I lost all my saved games - hours of LMA Manager and Sim City 2000 lost. AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!
> Film-to-Game and Vice Versa
> Need a cheap way to make money? Copy a film or copy a game.
> Either way, 95% of the time they're awful. With the very rare
> case it works – the Goldeneye game is a great example, and the
> Silent Hill film was very well done too (particularly the first
> half). But besides those, they're by and large terrible. Mario
> (in the most hilarious way possible), Street Fighter, Alone in
> the Dark, House of the Dead and Bloodrayne are all terrible. And
> EA just turn every single Hollywood film into a mediocre game. > It frustrates me the way in which they waste so much money on > things that aren’t even original.
I never go for film to game conversions as they are usually very poor games that try and follow the plot of the film and it just doesn't work.
Game to film conversions aren't as bad but most are poor as well. The one that sticks out in my mind is the Street Fighter movie that was pretty bad and the Strret Fighter game that came from that was awful.
I can imagine the scene in the production office. "Mortal Kombat is using real actors for it's games and they're doing really well, lets copy them it'll be a huge success"
> maz sic nough 2 hav his own game u no tsk
> Oh dear, ego alert. I haven't even played 50 Cent: Bulletproof
> (I wouldn't dare), but anybody who makes a game starring
> themselves with their “crew”, hunting down a man who supposedly
> shot him in the head 10 times has problems. Just that is a
> screw-up in itself, not to mention ol’ 50 Cent claiming it would
> be the greatest game ever made and that parents should play it
> with their kids so they can understand the story behind it, of
> revenge, violence and life. lol k.
I wasn't aware of the story behind this game until I read this but it's not a good idea for a game really. Bet it will sell well though.........
> Releasing New “Better” Models of a New Console
> One of many, many things that irks me is when companies release
> a newer model of a console or handheld after the original,
> particularly when it’s unnecessary. Although I can see how this
> would be a good thing for a person who hasn't bought the console
> yet or has enough money to replace the console (and it’s no > doubt good for company prosperity), this is one thing that > makes my blood boil.
I hate it when they do this as well it's like saying that the original wasn't how they wanted it to be and they released it anyway to get a few sales and now the final version is out so go but this one now. The GBA is an example of this how they went to the flip top one after a bit.
> Spin-Offs
> For the love of God - why do these exist!?
MONEY MONEY MONEY!
> DISC ERROR. UNABLE TO READ DISC.
> That's right. Everything else on the list so far is terrible,
> but it's bearable. We can live with Rare games; we can get over
> dire ideas or terrible sequels, but what I can't get over is
> when a game crashes after many, many hours of work. There was
> one moment in God of War, whilst trawling through God Mode,
> where the game crashed after there wasn't a save point for a
> long period of time. RPGs that crash after you've spent ages
> levelling up, or after you've defeated a horrible boss are also
> banes of my existence. Why, oh why does it have to happen?
> Glitches, crashes, disc errors, black outs - everything. Damn
> them all!
My memory card for my PS1 one broke and I lost all my saved games - hours of LMA Manager and Sim City 2000 lost. AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Oh well, if you were sensible like me you wouldn't have bought the original DS because it was so ugly. Hehe. Precious shiny DS lite, how I love you.
Howdy there. I’m sure if you’re reading this you know the drill, so I’ll just get down to it.
The Plot Twist of Star Ocean (don’t worry – no spoilers)
Star Ocean is a great game and a fine addition to any RPG fan's collection. It spans two discs and has a bunch of stuff to do with an awesome battle system, so - where did it go wrong? Well, usually I love a nice plot twist, they're great. I love seeing girls in pink dresses get impaled, and the whole “I'M YOUR FATHER!” shindig is great. I love being kept on my toes. So why's this one so bad? Well, let's just say it will pretty much kill the story for you. It’s not so much that it was a bad idea, but just that the execution was awful. It's like the developers had two ideas for a story, and then mashed them together without thinking about how dire the end result would be. Not to mention, it renders the 80% of the game before the plot twist and the previous games in the series almost completely pointless, as though they were done for nothing. It was a shocking plot twist, but for all the wrong reasons.
Film-to-Game and Vice Versa
Need a cheap way to make money? Copy a film or copy a game. Either way, 95% of the time they're awful. With the very rare case it works – the Goldeneye game is a great example, and the Silent Hill film was very well done too (particularly the first half). But besides those, they're by and large terrible. Mario (in the most hilarious way possible), Street Fighter, Alone in the Dark, House of the Dead and Bloodrayne are all terrible. And EA just turn every single Hollywood film into a mediocre game. It frustrates me the way in which they waste so much money on things that aren’t even original.
maz sic nough 2 hav his own game u no tsk
Oh dear, ego alert. I haven't even played 50 Cent: Bulletproof (I wouldn't dare), but anybody who makes a game starring themselves with their “crew”, hunting down a man who supposedly shot him in the head 10 times has problems. Just that is a screw-up in itself, not to mention ol’ 50 Cent claiming it would be the greatest game ever made and that parents should play it with their kids so they can understand the story behind it, of revenge, violence and life. lol k.
Halo 2 Single-Player
I'm a big fan of FPS games, and I enjoyed the original Halo very much. It has a great single and multiplayer mode, and has a pretty decent plot to boot. Then Halo 2 is released, and I was naturally pretty anxious to give it a go. First level, alright...it's pretty much exactly the same as the opening level of Halo 1, but I got over that, I can live with that.
Then we go down to Earth, which I like, I like Earth. I was expecting some big battles, which I never saw but still, I got over that. Then, he came. The Arbiter. The story took a turn for the worse and not only became too complex for even the game to understand, but it was messy. Messy and dull. And after everybody complained about the Library level in the first Halo game, the last 2-3 levels were EXACTLY the same, if not more horrible than the Library. Oh, and it has the most anti-climatic ending I've ever seen to a game. For what it's worth, the multiplayer rocks, and they obviously focused all of their attention on that.
Releasing New “Better” Models of a New Console
One of many, many things that irks me is when companies release a newer model of a console or handheld after the original, particularly when it’s unnecessary. Although I can see how this would be a good thing for a person who hasn't bought the console yet or has enough money to replace the console (and it’s no doubt good for company prosperity), this is one thing that makes my blood boil.
The most recent example would be the DS Lite. Yes, it looks very pretty. Yes, it's more comfortable and yes, yes, yes, it's all nice and good, but what about all the people who bought the original and don't have the dosh to dish out another £80? It’s basically spitting on all those people who bought the original and now “uglier” console. I consider this a screw up, because instead of ripping everyone off to replace a console they only just bought, they should have considered all of this the first time around instead of releasing a newer version. I have no doubt that it’s all a marketing strategy, but it’s still a great annoyance nonetheless.
Spin-Offs
For the love of God - why do these exist!? The majority of spin-offs are dire - they're just a cheap and lazy way for developers to make a quick bit of cash. They usually feel like a poor man’s version of the original, and there are some God-awful spin-offs out there, believe me. Some widely-recognised poor spin-offs include Shadow the Hedgehog, Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles, Metal Gear Acid (this one’s arguable, perhaps), and Silent Hill Origins (hell, it’s not even out yet but looks painful). Say no to spin-offs, kids. NO NO NO NO NO.
Dragon Ratio in Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter
When I buy a new game, I always try to enjoy the game as much as possible. I try to go into every single game with a completely open mind and give it a fair chance. Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter was one game that I simply could not enjoy. I simply found it as dull as a doorpost, and thought the battle system was mediocre at best. However, I decided to not to judge a game by the first 30 minutes or so, and so I quite literally dragged myself through about 5 or 6 hours of the game. I soon realised you only have two other people in your party for the entire game, and those other two characters are pretty awful - one of them doesn't even talk and they're both useless in battle. However, as always, I decided to keep pushing and pushing.
I think the final nail in the coffin for this game was the Dragon Ratio. I've never played the other Breath of Fire games, but this had to be one of the worst ideas ever. Throughout the entire game, you have a percentage on your screen. When that percentage reaches 100%, it's game over. You literally, and I mean literally have to start the entire game again. There is no way to slow down or reduce the percentage, and no item to knock off 5% or so. When it's full, it's over. Your limit break in this game allows you to turn into a dragon-like creature which is pretty awesome, besides the fact that each attack in the dragon form costs about 5%. So, the entire game is on a time limit, and you're punished for using limit breaks. Wonderful. On top of that, they expected you to start the entire game again because it'll be easy with a few of the experience points you picked up first time round. Like the game wasn’t dull enough just the once.
Rareware’s Switching to Microsoft
How does one of the best gaming companies of all time go from hero to zero? One word. Xbox'D. Now known as “Rare”, Rareware was one of the biggest reasons the N64 was a success. They made some of the best games ever - Goldeneye, Donkey Kong 64, Perfect Dark, Jet Force Gemini, Banjo Kazooie/Tooie and Conker's Bad Fur Day. Seriously, these guys were awesome. But then, in 2002 they sold out and were bought by Microsoft, and ever since then, they have made poor game after poor game. They were a massive failure on the Xbox and made roughly a whopping two games, one of which was essentially a remake of Conker's Bad Fur Day.
On the 360, they then made Perfect Dark Zero, the prequel to the original Perfect Dark on the N64, which I have to say was an extremely disappointing game. Alongside that was Kameo. Well, I bet they're proud of themselves - a massive output that’s undoubtedly well worth the money Microsoft gave them. I consider this one of the worst decisions in gaming history.
DISC ERROR. UNABLE TO READ DISC.
That's right. Everything else on the list so far is terrible, but it's bearable. We can live with Rare games; we can get over dire ideas or terrible sequels, but what I can't get over is when a game crashes after many, many hours of work. There was one moment in God of War, whilst trawling through God Mode, where the game crashed after there wasn't a save point for a long period of time. RPGs that crash after you've spent ages levelling up, or after you've defeated a horrible boss are also banes of my existence. Why, oh why does it have to happen? Glitches, crashes, disc errors, black outs - everything. Damn them all!
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed and were entertained by my old-man rants!
Reefer.
The Plot Twist of Star Ocean (don’t worry – no spoilers)
Star Ocean is a great game and a fine addition to any RPG fan's collection. It spans two discs and has a bunch of stuff to do with an awesome battle system, so - where did it go wrong? Well, usually I love a nice plot twist, they're great. I love seeing girls in pink dresses get impaled, and the whole “I'M YOUR FATHER!” shindig is great. I love being kept on my toes. So why's this one so bad? Well, let's just say it will pretty much kill the story for you. It’s not so much that it was a bad idea, but just that the execution was awful. It's like the developers had two ideas for a story, and then mashed them together without thinking about how dire the end result would be. Not to mention, it renders the 80% of the game before the plot twist and the previous games in the series almost completely pointless, as though they were done for nothing. It was a shocking plot twist, but for all the wrong reasons.
Film-to-Game and Vice Versa
Need a cheap way to make money? Copy a film or copy a game. Either way, 95% of the time they're awful. With the very rare case it works – the Goldeneye game is a great example, and the Silent Hill film was very well done too (particularly the first half). But besides those, they're by and large terrible. Mario (in the most hilarious way possible), Street Fighter, Alone in the Dark, House of the Dead and Bloodrayne are all terrible. And EA just turn every single Hollywood film into a mediocre game. It frustrates me the way in which they waste so much money on things that aren’t even original.
maz sic nough 2 hav his own game u no tsk
Oh dear, ego alert. I haven't even played 50 Cent: Bulletproof (I wouldn't dare), but anybody who makes a game starring themselves with their “crew”, hunting down a man who supposedly shot him in the head 10 times has problems. Just that is a screw-up in itself, not to mention ol’ 50 Cent claiming it would be the greatest game ever made and that parents should play it with their kids so they can understand the story behind it, of revenge, violence and life. lol k.
Halo 2 Single-Player
I'm a big fan of FPS games, and I enjoyed the original Halo very much. It has a great single and multiplayer mode, and has a pretty decent plot to boot. Then Halo 2 is released, and I was naturally pretty anxious to give it a go. First level, alright...it's pretty much exactly the same as the opening level of Halo 1, but I got over that, I can live with that.
Then we go down to Earth, which I like, I like Earth. I was expecting some big battles, which I never saw but still, I got over that. Then, he came. The Arbiter. The story took a turn for the worse and not only became too complex for even the game to understand, but it was messy. Messy and dull. And after everybody complained about the Library level in the first Halo game, the last 2-3 levels were EXACTLY the same, if not more horrible than the Library. Oh, and it has the most anti-climatic ending I've ever seen to a game. For what it's worth, the multiplayer rocks, and they obviously focused all of their attention on that.
Releasing New “Better” Models of a New Console
One of many, many things that irks me is when companies release a newer model of a console or handheld after the original, particularly when it’s unnecessary. Although I can see how this would be a good thing for a person who hasn't bought the console yet or has enough money to replace the console (and it’s no doubt good for company prosperity), this is one thing that makes my blood boil.
The most recent example would be the DS Lite. Yes, it looks very pretty. Yes, it's more comfortable and yes, yes, yes, it's all nice and good, but what about all the people who bought the original and don't have the dosh to dish out another £80? It’s basically spitting on all those people who bought the original and now “uglier” console. I consider this a screw up, because instead of ripping everyone off to replace a console they only just bought, they should have considered all of this the first time around instead of releasing a newer version. I have no doubt that it’s all a marketing strategy, but it’s still a great annoyance nonetheless.
Spin-Offs
For the love of God - why do these exist!? The majority of spin-offs are dire - they're just a cheap and lazy way for developers to make a quick bit of cash. They usually feel like a poor man’s version of the original, and there are some God-awful spin-offs out there, believe me. Some widely-recognised poor spin-offs include Shadow the Hedgehog, Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles, Metal Gear Acid (this one’s arguable, perhaps), and Silent Hill Origins (hell, it’s not even out yet but looks painful). Say no to spin-offs, kids. NO NO NO NO NO.
Dragon Ratio in Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter
When I buy a new game, I always try to enjoy the game as much as possible. I try to go into every single game with a completely open mind and give it a fair chance. Breath of Fire: Dragon Quarter was one game that I simply could not enjoy. I simply found it as dull as a doorpost, and thought the battle system was mediocre at best. However, I decided to not to judge a game by the first 30 minutes or so, and so I quite literally dragged myself through about 5 or 6 hours of the game. I soon realised you only have two other people in your party for the entire game, and those other two characters are pretty awful - one of them doesn't even talk and they're both useless in battle. However, as always, I decided to keep pushing and pushing.
I think the final nail in the coffin for this game was the Dragon Ratio. I've never played the other Breath of Fire games, but this had to be one of the worst ideas ever. Throughout the entire game, you have a percentage on your screen. When that percentage reaches 100%, it's game over. You literally, and I mean literally have to start the entire game again. There is no way to slow down or reduce the percentage, and no item to knock off 5% or so. When it's full, it's over. Your limit break in this game allows you to turn into a dragon-like creature which is pretty awesome, besides the fact that each attack in the dragon form costs about 5%. So, the entire game is on a time limit, and you're punished for using limit breaks. Wonderful. On top of that, they expected you to start the entire game again because it'll be easy with a few of the experience points you picked up first time round. Like the game wasn’t dull enough just the once.
Rareware’s Switching to Microsoft
How does one of the best gaming companies of all time go from hero to zero? One word. Xbox'D. Now known as “Rare”, Rareware was one of the biggest reasons the N64 was a success. They made some of the best games ever - Goldeneye, Donkey Kong 64, Perfect Dark, Jet Force Gemini, Banjo Kazooie/Tooie and Conker's Bad Fur Day. Seriously, these guys were awesome. But then, in 2002 they sold out and were bought by Microsoft, and ever since then, they have made poor game after poor game. They were a massive failure on the Xbox and made roughly a whopping two games, one of which was essentially a remake of Conker's Bad Fur Day.
On the 360, they then made Perfect Dark Zero, the prequel to the original Perfect Dark on the N64, which I have to say was an extremely disappointing game. Alongside that was Kameo. Well, I bet they're proud of themselves - a massive output that’s undoubtedly well worth the money Microsoft gave them. I consider this one of the worst decisions in gaming history.
DISC ERROR. UNABLE TO READ DISC.
That's right. Everything else on the list so far is terrible, but it's bearable. We can live with Rare games; we can get over dire ideas or terrible sequels, but what I can't get over is when a game crashes after many, many hours of work. There was one moment in God of War, whilst trawling through God Mode, where the game crashed after there wasn't a save point for a long period of time. RPGs that crash after you've spent ages levelling up, or after you've defeated a horrible boss are also banes of my existence. Why, oh why does it have to happen? Glitches, crashes, disc errors, black outs - everything. Damn them all!
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed and were entertained by my old-man rants!
Reefer.