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A Long Time Ago, In a Galaxy far
far away...
After many years under the Microsoft
Empire's control, a new rebel alliance
formed. Their numbers have increased but
the Empire's greatest travelling starbase,
The X-box, has been built, ready to test
the new planet destroying weapon.
Princess Toadstool's transport ship is under
attack by a Microsoft Warship, and is
heavily damaged. Daft Gates is about to board
with a number of stormtroopers to try to
capture the Princess.
We must get those plans back. Bring me the Princess!
Aye, aye sir.
Help me Day Gosenobi, you're my only hope!
Princess Toadstool pressed a button on Arty Detwo and the droid rolled away on it's wheels to an escape pod.
Arty Detwo closed the door behind him and pressed a button. Inturn, the escape pod hatched from the transport ship to the planet below, Tatoo-eek.
What's that? Another Escape pod?
It's unmanned, probably another malfunction.
Let it go.
All troops get ready and fire on my command...
The sealed door infront of Peach was sparkling and smoke poured through the cracks. The door eventually fell with a thud and stormtroopers started running through.
FIRE!
The rebel troops fired at the stormtroopers but each one eventually fell. Where one stormtrooper fell, there were another six to replace him, and the rebels just couldn't keep up. Eventually, there was only Peach left. She tossed her weapon to the floor infront of her and walked out from her cover with her hands raised. Immediately, Darth Gates walked in through the destroyed doorway and stood infront of Peach.
Lord Gates, what an unpleasant suprise. Only you could attack a peaceful transport ship in neutral territory.
The Plans. Where are the plans?
I don't know what you're talking about.
You, you, take Peach to a holding cell, the rest of you search the ship. We must find those plans!
Artwo's escape pod landed in a large sanddune on the planet Tatto-eek. He opened the hatch and rolled along the sand seemingly knowing where he was going - until that is, a laser pulse hit him and knocked him and shut down his systems.
A bunch of sand creatures appeared from behind some of the rocks and picked Artwo up. They carried him along to their humvee and drove off along the sand leaving a trail of smoke behind them. They eventually arrived at a small hut in the middle of nowhere where a couple of men stood outside.
ursa pendular wesa notka titka.
Robotocha?
to toko desa three milliona yen undo ticko fando
Ah, Robotocha. I'll give you one-million yen.
osa bingo! Nisa de lin gwivu.
The sand creatures drove off in their humvee leaving Artwo with this young man named Miyamoto.
Robotocha? I'm going out for a few pints, clean the house for when I return.
Artwo bleeped in acknowledgement and got to work.
* * *
When Miyamoto returned he found the house had been destroyed and a trail led off in the other direction. Getting into his Toyota, Miyamoto drove at top speed following the trail until he caught up with his robot. Next to Artwo was Dave Gosen.
Wassup dude, why's my robotocha here?
He claims to have a message for me, says it's urgent.
Play it Robotocha.
Artwo projected a holo image of a topless woman. Miyamoto was stunned and Dave Gosen was sickened by the image. "Day Gosenobi, the Emporer has captured me and is going to destroy the planet Tatoo-eek! Help me Day Gosenobi, you're my only hope." The image of the woman continued moving, rubbing her hands over her chest. Miyamoto's eyes nearly popped out of his sockets and he started getting restless, whereas Dave Gosen started getting annoyed.
Turn it off you daft tin can!
Artoo removed the image immediately, whistling as he did so.
Who was that?
It was Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom, it appears she is in trouble. You must help her.
Really? You want me to go?
I'm too old to fight now, and I can't face seeing the princess after seeing what I've seen. I think I'm going to throw up.
Sure, but how can we get to the Empire's ships? I haven't even got a decent four-by-four, let alone a space-ship.
We'll just nick one from starfleet.
* * *
Dave and Miyamoto walked around the spaceport. They saw an empty passageway leading to a very large shuttle where there was one man just sitting in the pilot's seat, eating a ham and cheese sandwich. Dave and Miyamoto approached him.
I'm Dom Fizzelworth, captain of the Centurian Pidgeon, who may you be?
I'm Shigsy Miyamoto and this here is Dave Gosen. We need you to fly us to the X-box in order to rescue Princess Peach from the evil clutches of....Daft Gates!
Are you crazy? Daft Gates will send me to Slobba da Mutt if he catches us!
What business of Slobba's would it be?
I owe him some money...a great deal of money...after I ate his doggy treats.
Dave Gosen waved his hands in front of Fizzelworth's face and did a crazy dance whilst saying, "You will take us to the X-box"
I will take you to the X-box.
You will also take all the blame if we get caught.
I will also take the...hey! Wait a minute, that's not fair!
And so, Dave, Miyamoto and Fizzelworth took their seats and departed for the X-box.
* * *
General, we're picking up a ship on censors, it's heading right for us.
Tractor is into our shuttle bay. I'll contact Daft Gates immediately.
General Mike went to the communications console and tuned in to Daft Gates's frequency.
You've caught some rebels? Good work General Mike. I'm on my way to the shuttlebay now. Wait! I feel something...I feel a presence I've not felt for a long time!
Daft Gates walked off through the maze-like corridors of the mighty X-box, big enough to shadow a planet from it's sun.
I've er...got to go...and...er...something. You two find the princess, she's in that direction.
Dave Gosen pointed down a corridor.
Um ok, we'll bring Robotocha too.
Artwo whilstled a sigh as if he were fed up of being called 'Robotocha'. He couldn't blame Miyamoto though, he had watched alcohol induced adverts many a time.
Miyamoto, Fizzelworth and Artwo walked along the corridors and followed the big arrows labelled "Princess it that-a-way" until they reached a shut door. After opening it, they saw the Princess who for some reason, asked no questions and just followed them back to the ship.
However, when they reached the ship, they spotted Dave Gosen and Daft Gates standing infront of each other holding florescant tubelights infront of them.
Day Gosenobi, we meet again!
If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful that you can ever imagine!
You what?
Sorry, it was in the script.
Ok...
And with that, Daft Gates swung his red florescant tubelight at Dave Gosen whilst he mysteriously vanished, leaving his posh suit in a pile on the ground. Daft Gates kicked the clothes as if to check to see if there was any sign of him left, then shrugged as he walked off.
Meanwhile, Artwo started whilstling the theme tune to 'The Great Escape' as Artwo, Princess Peach and Miyamoto casually walked to the Centorian Pidgeon. With no resistance at all, the three were able to escape to the nearest rebel base where they delivered the plans of the X-box that the Princess had hidden in Artwo's Memory Unit 59.
The rebels, mostly made up of fungi, argued and argued over what would be the best way to blow the X-box out of the sky. Some suggested pulling the plug, others suggested a full scale assault, but Miyamoto decided the best way would be to play an enhanced version Star Wars: Rogue Leader on Artwo's GameCube designed system, designed to combat the X-box.
Miyamoto got to work on his modifications, delaying the final versions about twenty times before finally deciding on a perfect version, and Miyamoto started playing on his new creation.
"First you've got to take out the towers, there's no reason for it, but you might as well do it," came the voice of some guy over a radio system. Miyamoto's controlled character flew his ship in a perfectly straight line firing many bolts of phased energy at the nearby towers. Each one blew up in a ball of molten metal and "Good work Luke" sounded through the radio system.
"Now take out those Ties" came through the speakers as forty or so Tie Fighters suddenly appeared from the distance. Miyamoto used his specially designed interface to dodge and weave around the fire power aimed towards him and started blasting those Ties one by one. Some scratched his ship, but Miyamoto was a skilled pilot, he managed to dodge a full blown phaser bolt every time and managed to take out all the Ties!
Now all he had to do was attack the main green dome at the centre of the X-box. But he had a problem, he was being chased by Daft Gates in a super-shielded Tie Fighter. No matter what Miyamoto did, he couldn't escape Daft Gates. He dodged, somersaulted and even pulled moonies at the evil Dark Lord, but he couldn't succeed in getting out of Daft Gates's way.
Daft Gates prepared to fire, Miyamoto's ship appeared red, Target Locked On! As Daft Gates got ready to press the fire button on his control panel, his ship rocked and span out of control. Daft Gates had forgotten the Millenium Falcon had not been removed from the game, and Miyamoto heard "Wahoo! You're all clear now!" as he flew towards the green globe.
Miyamoto switched off his targetting computer, knowing that he'd be better off relying on luck, and he was right to do so. He fired his one and only rocket towards the green dome and in a flash, the X-box exploded.
Coming soon....Console Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back.
Yeah, I know, it's another console wars topic, but it's different :) Atleast I didn't go saying "This is better than that because..." Hope you enjoyed it anyway. Now start your arguing about the X-box beating the GameCube's backside with a large stick any day...
far away...
After many years under the Microsoft
Empire's control, a new rebel alliance
formed. Their numbers have increased but
the Empire's greatest travelling starbase,
The X-box, has been built, ready to test
the new planet destroying weapon.
Princess Toadstool's transport ship is under
attack by a Microsoft Warship, and is
heavily damaged. Daft Gates is about to board
with a number of stormtroopers to try to
capture the Princess.
Princess Toadstool pressed a button on Arty Detwo and the droid rolled away on it's wheels to an escape pod.
Arty Detwo closed the door behind him and pressed a button. Inturn, the escape pod hatched from the transport ship to the planet below, Tatoo-eek.
The sealed door infront of Peach was sparkling and smoke poured through the cracks. The door eventually fell with a thud and stormtroopers started running through.
The rebel troops fired at the stormtroopers but each one eventually fell. Where one stormtrooper fell, there were another six to replace him, and the rebels just couldn't keep up. Eventually, there was only Peach left. She tossed her weapon to the floor infront of her and walked out from her cover with her hands raised. Immediately, Darth Gates walked in through the destroyed doorway and stood infront of Peach.
Artwo's escape pod landed in a large sanddune on the planet Tatto-eek. He opened the hatch and rolled along the sand seemingly knowing where he was going - until that is, a laser pulse hit him and knocked him and shut down his systems.
A bunch of sand creatures appeared from behind some of the rocks and picked Artwo up. They carried him along to their humvee and drove off along the sand leaving a trail of smoke behind them. They eventually arrived at a small hut in the middle of nowhere where a couple of men stood outside.
The sand creatures drove off in their humvee leaving Artwo with this young man named Miyamoto.
Artwo bleeped in acknowledgement and got to work.
* * *
When Miyamoto returned he found the house had been destroyed and a trail led off in the other direction. Getting into his Toyota, Miyamoto drove at top speed following the trail until he caught up with his robot. Next to Artwo was Dave Gosen.
Artwo projected a holo image of a topless woman. Miyamoto was stunned and Dave Gosen was sickened by the image. "Day Gosenobi, the Emporer has captured me and is going to destroy the planet Tatoo-eek! Help me Day Gosenobi, you're my only hope." The image of the woman continued moving, rubbing her hands over her chest. Miyamoto's eyes nearly popped out of his sockets and he started getting restless, whereas Dave Gosen started getting annoyed.
Artoo removed the image immediately, whistling as he did so.
* * *
Dave and Miyamoto walked around the spaceport. They saw an empty passageway leading to a very large shuttle where there was one man just sitting in the pilot's seat, eating a ham and cheese sandwich. Dave and Miyamoto approached him.
Dave Gosen waved his hands in front of Fizzelworth's face and did a crazy dance whilst saying, "You will take us to the X-box"
And so, Dave, Miyamoto and Fizzelworth took their seats and departed for the X-box.
* * *
General Mike went to the communications console and tuned in to Daft Gates's frequency.
Daft Gates walked off through the maze-like corridors of the mighty X-box, big enough to shadow a planet from it's sun.
Dave Gosen pointed down a corridor.
Artwo whilstled a sigh as if he were fed up of being called 'Robotocha'. He couldn't blame Miyamoto though, he had watched alcohol induced adverts many a time.
Miyamoto, Fizzelworth and Artwo walked along the corridors and followed the big arrows labelled "Princess it that-a-way" until they reached a shut door. After opening it, they saw the Princess who for some reason, asked no questions and just followed them back to the ship.
However, when they reached the ship, they spotted Dave Gosen and Daft Gates standing infront of each other holding florescant tubelights infront of them.
And with that, Daft Gates swung his red florescant tubelight at Dave Gosen whilst he mysteriously vanished, leaving his posh suit in a pile on the ground. Daft Gates kicked the clothes as if to check to see if there was any sign of him left, then shrugged as he walked off.
Meanwhile, Artwo started whilstling the theme tune to 'The Great Escape' as Artwo, Princess Peach and Miyamoto casually walked to the Centorian Pidgeon. With no resistance at all, the three were able to escape to the nearest rebel base where they delivered the plans of the X-box that the Princess had hidden in Artwo's Memory Unit 59.
The rebels, mostly made up of fungi, argued and argued over what would be the best way to blow the X-box out of the sky. Some suggested pulling the plug, others suggested a full scale assault, but Miyamoto decided the best way would be to play an enhanced version Star Wars: Rogue Leader on Artwo's GameCube designed system, designed to combat the X-box.
Miyamoto got to work on his modifications, delaying the final versions about twenty times before finally deciding on a perfect version, and Miyamoto started playing on his new creation.
"First you've got to take out the towers, there's no reason for it, but you might as well do it," came the voice of some guy over a radio system. Miyamoto's controlled character flew his ship in a perfectly straight line firing many bolts of phased energy at the nearby towers. Each one blew up in a ball of molten metal and "Good work Luke" sounded through the radio system.
"Now take out those Ties" came through the speakers as forty or so Tie Fighters suddenly appeared from the distance. Miyamoto used his specially designed interface to dodge and weave around the fire power aimed towards him and started blasting those Ties one by one. Some scratched his ship, but Miyamoto was a skilled pilot, he managed to dodge a full blown phaser bolt every time and managed to take out all the Ties!
Now all he had to do was attack the main green dome at the centre of the X-box. But he had a problem, he was being chased by Daft Gates in a super-shielded Tie Fighter. No matter what Miyamoto did, he couldn't escape Daft Gates. He dodged, somersaulted and even pulled moonies at the evil Dark Lord, but he couldn't succeed in getting out of Daft Gates's way.
Daft Gates prepared to fire, Miyamoto's ship appeared red, Target Locked On! As Daft Gates got ready to press the fire button on his control panel, his ship rocked and span out of control. Daft Gates had forgotten the Millenium Falcon had not been removed from the game, and Miyamoto heard "Wahoo! You're all clear now!" as he flew towards the green globe.
Miyamoto switched off his targetting computer, knowing that he'd be better off relying on luck, and he was right to do so. He fired his one and only rocket towards the green dome and in a flash, the X-box exploded.
Coming soon....Console Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back.
Yeah, I know, it's another console wars topic, but it's different :) Atleast I didn't go saying "This is better than that because..." Hope you enjoyed it anyway. Now start your arguing about the X-box beating the GameCube's backside with a large stick any day...
I'm sure you have, I've seen lots of similar stuff on this site that I've done in the past, being redone by other people. So what?
I didn't copy, and I've never even heard of that site you mentioned (anyone wants to pay for me to have a lie detector test to prove it, feel free).
I just thought of this as an idea, and typed.
I didn't copy, and I've never even heard of that site you mentioned (anyone wants to pay for me to have a lie detector test to prove it, feel free).
I just thought of this as an idea, and typed.
Bah! Ive seen something similar on www.newgrounds.com
I will probably do the next two episodes, then maybe the first three (the third after I've seen Episode 3 in the cinema :) ) if I get some more responses off people :)
Took me flaming ages to type this one though - and there's loads I've cut and altered which I wanted to include...ah well, I'll hope to make Episode V just as good or if possible, better :)
Took me flaming ages to type this one though - and there's loads I've cut and altered which I wanted to include...ah well, I'll hope to make Episode V just as good or if possible, better :)
Very funny stuff matey, especially the entire "A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away..." thingy at the start. I've never really gotten into Star Wars, but have you done (or intending to do) the other episodes?
*Crosses fingers*
*Crosses fingers*
A Long Time Ago, In a Galaxy far
far away...
After many years under the Microsoft
Empire's control, a new rebel alliance
formed. Their numbers have increased but
the Empire's greatest travelling starbase,
The X-box, has been built, ready to test
the new planet destroying weapon.
Princess Toadstool's transport ship is under
attack by a Microsoft Warship, and is
heavily damaged. Daft Gates is about to board
with a number of stormtroopers to try to
capture the Princess.
We must get those plans back. Bring me the Princess!
Aye, aye sir.
Help me Day Gosenobi, you're my only hope!
Princess Toadstool pressed a button on Arty Detwo and the droid rolled away on it's wheels to an escape pod.
Arty Detwo closed the door behind him and pressed a button. Inturn, the escape pod hatched from the transport ship to the planet below, Tatoo-eek.
What's that? Another Escape pod?
It's unmanned, probably another malfunction.
Let it go.
All troops get ready and fire on my command...
The sealed door infront of Peach was sparkling and smoke poured through the cracks. The door eventually fell with a thud and stormtroopers started running through.
FIRE!
The rebel troops fired at the stormtroopers but each one eventually fell. Where one stormtrooper fell, there were another six to replace him, and the rebels just couldn't keep up. Eventually, there was only Peach left. She tossed her weapon to the floor infront of her and walked out from her cover with her hands raised. Immediately, Darth Gates walked in through the destroyed doorway and stood infront of Peach.
Lord Gates, what an unpleasant suprise. Only you could attack a peaceful transport ship in neutral territory.
The Plans. Where are the plans?
I don't know what you're talking about.
You, you, take Peach to a holding cell, the rest of you search the ship. We must find those plans!
Artwo's escape pod landed in a large sanddune on the planet Tatto-eek. He opened the hatch and rolled along the sand seemingly knowing where he was going - until that is, a laser pulse hit him and knocked him and shut down his systems.
A bunch of sand creatures appeared from behind some of the rocks and picked Artwo up. They carried him along to their humvee and drove off along the sand leaving a trail of smoke behind them. They eventually arrived at a small hut in the middle of nowhere where a couple of men stood outside.
ursa pendular wesa notka titka.
Robotocha?
to toko desa three milliona yen undo ticko fando
Ah, Robotocha. I'll give you one-million yen.
osa bingo! Nisa de lin gwivu.
The sand creatures drove off in their humvee leaving Artwo with this young man named Miyamoto.
Robotocha? I'm going out for a few pints, clean the house for when I return.
Artwo bleeped in acknowledgement and got to work.
* * *
When Miyamoto returned he found the house had been destroyed and a trail led off in the other direction. Getting into his Toyota, Miyamoto drove at top speed following the trail until he caught up with his robot. Next to Artwo was Dave Gosen.
Wassup dude, why's my robotocha here?
He claims to have a message for me, says it's urgent.
Play it Robotocha.
Artwo projected a holo image of a topless woman. Miyamoto was stunned and Dave Gosen was sickened by the image. "Day Gosenobi, the Emporer has captured me and is going to destroy the planet Tatoo-eek! Help me Day Gosenobi, you're my only hope." The image of the woman continued moving, rubbing her hands over her chest. Miyamoto's eyes nearly popped out of his sockets and he started getting restless, whereas Dave Gosen started getting annoyed.
Turn it off you daft tin can!
Artoo removed the image immediately, whistling as he did so.
Who was that?
It was Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom, it appears she is in trouble. You must help her.
Really? You want me to go?
I'm too old to fight now, and I can't face seeing the princess after seeing what I've seen. I think I'm going to throw up.
Sure, but how can we get to the Empire's ships? I haven't even got a decent four-by-four, let alone a space-ship.
We'll just nick one from starfleet.
* * *
Dave and Miyamoto walked around the spaceport. They saw an empty passageway leading to a very large shuttle where there was one man just sitting in the pilot's seat, eating a ham and cheese sandwich. Dave and Miyamoto approached him.
I'm Dom Fizzelworth, captain of the Centurian Pidgeon, who may you be?
I'm Shigsy Miyamoto and this here is Dave Gosen. We need you to fly us to the X-box in order to rescue Princess Peach from the evil clutches of....Daft Gates!
Are you crazy? Daft Gates will send me to Slobba da Mutt if he catches us!
What business of Slobba's would it be?
I owe him some money...a great deal of money...after I ate his doggy treats.
Dave Gosen waved his hands in front of Fizzelworth's face and did a crazy dance whilst saying, "You will take us to the X-box"
I will take you to the X-box.
You will also take all the blame if we get caught.
I will also take the...hey! Wait a minute, that's not fair!
And so, Dave, Miyamoto and Fizzelworth took their seats and departed for the X-box.
* * *
General, we're picking up a ship on censors, it's heading right for us.
Tractor is into our shuttle bay. I'll contact Daft Gates immediately.
General Mike went to the communications console and tuned in to Daft Gates's frequency.
You've caught some rebels? Good work General Mike. I'm on my way to the shuttlebay now. Wait! I feel something...I feel a presence I've not felt for a long time!
Daft Gates walked off through the maze-like corridors of the mighty X-box, big enough to shadow a planet from it's sun.
I've er...got to go...and...er...something. You two find the princess, she's in that direction.
Dave Gosen pointed down a corridor.
Um ok, we'll bring Robotocha too.
Artwo whilstled a sigh as if he were fed up of being called 'Robotocha'. He couldn't blame Miyamoto though, he had watched alcohol induced adverts many a time.
Miyamoto, Fizzelworth and Artwo walked along the corridors and followed the big arrows labelled "Princess it that-a-way" until they reached a shut door. After opening it, they saw the Princess who for some reason, asked no questions and just followed them back to the ship.
However, when they reached the ship, they spotted Dave Gosen and Daft Gates standing infront of each other holding florescant tubelights infront of them.
Day Gosenobi, we meet again!
If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful that you can ever imagine!
You what?
Sorry, it was in the script.
Ok...
And with that, Daft Gates swung his red florescant tubelight at Dave Gosen whilst he mysteriously vanished, leaving his posh suit in a pile on the ground. Daft Gates kicked the clothes as if to check to see if there was any sign of him left, then shrugged as he walked off.
Meanwhile, Artwo started whilstling the theme tune to 'The Great Escape' as Artwo, Princess Peach and Miyamoto casually walked to the Centorian Pidgeon. With no resistance at all, the three were able to escape to the nearest rebel base where they delivered the plans of the X-box that the Princess had hidden in Artwo's Memory Unit 59.
The rebels, mostly made up of fungi, argued and argued over what would be the best way to blow the X-box out of the sky. Some suggested pulling the plug, others suggested a full scale assault, but Miyamoto decided the best way would be to play an enhanced version Star Wars: Rogue Leader on Artwo's GameCube designed system, designed to combat the X-box.
Miyamoto got to work on his modifications, delaying the final versions about twenty times before finally deciding on a perfect version, and Miyamoto started playing on his new creation.
"First you've got to take out the towers, there's no reason for it, but you might as well do it," came the voice of some guy over a radio system. Miyamoto's controlled character flew his ship in a perfectly straight line firing many bolts of phased energy at the nearby towers. Each one blew up in a ball of molten metal and "Good work Luke" sounded through the radio system.
"Now take out those Ties" came through the speakers as forty or so Tie Fighters suddenly appeared from the distance. Miyamoto used his specially designed interface to dodge and weave around the fire power aimed towards him and started blasting those Ties one by one. Some scratched his ship, but Miyamoto was a skilled pilot, he managed to dodge a full blown phaser bolt every time and managed to take out all the Ties!
Now all he had to do was attack the main green dome at the centre of the X-box. But he had a problem, he was being chased by Daft Gates in a super-shielded Tie Fighter. No matter what Miyamoto did, he couldn't escape Daft Gates. He dodged, somersaulted and even pulled moonies at the evil Dark Lord, but he couldn't succeed in getting out of Daft Gates's way.
Daft Gates prepared to fire, Miyamoto's ship appeared red, Target Locked On! As Daft Gates got ready to press the fire button on his control panel, his ship rocked and span out of control. Daft Gates had forgotten the Millenium Falcon had not been removed from the game, and Miyamoto heard "Wahoo! You're all clear now!" as he flew towards the green globe.
Miyamoto switched off his targetting computer, knowing that he'd be better off relying on luck, and he was right to do so. He fired his one and only rocket towards the green dome and in a flash, the X-box exploded.
Coming soon....Console Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back.
Yeah, I know, it's another console wars topic, but it's different :) Atleast I didn't go saying "This is better than that because..." Hope you enjoyed it anyway. Now start your arguing about the X-box beating the GameCube's backside with a large stick any day...
far away...
After many years under the Microsoft
Empire's control, a new rebel alliance
formed. Their numbers have increased but
the Empire's greatest travelling starbase,
The X-box, has been built, ready to test
the new planet destroying weapon.
Princess Toadstool's transport ship is under
attack by a Microsoft Warship, and is
heavily damaged. Daft Gates is about to board
with a number of stormtroopers to try to
capture the Princess.
Princess Toadstool pressed a button on Arty Detwo and the droid rolled away on it's wheels to an escape pod.
Arty Detwo closed the door behind him and pressed a button. Inturn, the escape pod hatched from the transport ship to the planet below, Tatoo-eek.
The sealed door infront of Peach was sparkling and smoke poured through the cracks. The door eventually fell with a thud and stormtroopers started running through.
The rebel troops fired at the stormtroopers but each one eventually fell. Where one stormtrooper fell, there were another six to replace him, and the rebels just couldn't keep up. Eventually, there was only Peach left. She tossed her weapon to the floor infront of her and walked out from her cover with her hands raised. Immediately, Darth Gates walked in through the destroyed doorway and stood infront of Peach.
Artwo's escape pod landed in a large sanddune on the planet Tatto-eek. He opened the hatch and rolled along the sand seemingly knowing where he was going - until that is, a laser pulse hit him and knocked him and shut down his systems.
A bunch of sand creatures appeared from behind some of the rocks and picked Artwo up. They carried him along to their humvee and drove off along the sand leaving a trail of smoke behind them. They eventually arrived at a small hut in the middle of nowhere where a couple of men stood outside.
The sand creatures drove off in their humvee leaving Artwo with this young man named Miyamoto.
Artwo bleeped in acknowledgement and got to work.
* * *
When Miyamoto returned he found the house had been destroyed and a trail led off in the other direction. Getting into his Toyota, Miyamoto drove at top speed following the trail until he caught up with his robot. Next to Artwo was Dave Gosen.
Artwo projected a holo image of a topless woman. Miyamoto was stunned and Dave Gosen was sickened by the image. "Day Gosenobi, the Emporer has captured me and is going to destroy the planet Tatoo-eek! Help me Day Gosenobi, you're my only hope." The image of the woman continued moving, rubbing her hands over her chest. Miyamoto's eyes nearly popped out of his sockets and he started getting restless, whereas Dave Gosen started getting annoyed.
Artoo removed the image immediately, whistling as he did so.
* * *
Dave and Miyamoto walked around the spaceport. They saw an empty passageway leading to a very large shuttle where there was one man just sitting in the pilot's seat, eating a ham and cheese sandwich. Dave and Miyamoto approached him.
Dave Gosen waved his hands in front of Fizzelworth's face and did a crazy dance whilst saying, "You will take us to the X-box"
And so, Dave, Miyamoto and Fizzelworth took their seats and departed for the X-box.
* * *
General Mike went to the communications console and tuned in to Daft Gates's frequency.
Daft Gates walked off through the maze-like corridors of the mighty X-box, big enough to shadow a planet from it's sun.
Dave Gosen pointed down a corridor.
Artwo whilstled a sigh as if he were fed up of being called 'Robotocha'. He couldn't blame Miyamoto though, he had watched alcohol induced adverts many a time.
Miyamoto, Fizzelworth and Artwo walked along the corridors and followed the big arrows labelled "Princess it that-a-way" until they reached a shut door. After opening it, they saw the Princess who for some reason, asked no questions and just followed them back to the ship.
However, when they reached the ship, they spotted Dave Gosen and Daft Gates standing infront of each other holding florescant tubelights infront of them.
And with that, Daft Gates swung his red florescant tubelight at Dave Gosen whilst he mysteriously vanished, leaving his posh suit in a pile on the ground. Daft Gates kicked the clothes as if to check to see if there was any sign of him left, then shrugged as he walked off.
Meanwhile, Artwo started whilstling the theme tune to 'The Great Escape' as Artwo, Princess Peach and Miyamoto casually walked to the Centorian Pidgeon. With no resistance at all, the three were able to escape to the nearest rebel base where they delivered the plans of the X-box that the Princess had hidden in Artwo's Memory Unit 59.
The rebels, mostly made up of fungi, argued and argued over what would be the best way to blow the X-box out of the sky. Some suggested pulling the plug, others suggested a full scale assault, but Miyamoto decided the best way would be to play an enhanced version Star Wars: Rogue Leader on Artwo's GameCube designed system, designed to combat the X-box.
Miyamoto got to work on his modifications, delaying the final versions about twenty times before finally deciding on a perfect version, and Miyamoto started playing on his new creation.
"First you've got to take out the towers, there's no reason for it, but you might as well do it," came the voice of some guy over a radio system. Miyamoto's controlled character flew his ship in a perfectly straight line firing many bolts of phased energy at the nearby towers. Each one blew up in a ball of molten metal and "Good work Luke" sounded through the radio system.
"Now take out those Ties" came through the speakers as forty or so Tie Fighters suddenly appeared from the distance. Miyamoto used his specially designed interface to dodge and weave around the fire power aimed towards him and started blasting those Ties one by one. Some scratched his ship, but Miyamoto was a skilled pilot, he managed to dodge a full blown phaser bolt every time and managed to take out all the Ties!
Now all he had to do was attack the main green dome at the centre of the X-box. But he had a problem, he was being chased by Daft Gates in a super-shielded Tie Fighter. No matter what Miyamoto did, he couldn't escape Daft Gates. He dodged, somersaulted and even pulled moonies at the evil Dark Lord, but he couldn't succeed in getting out of Daft Gates's way.
Daft Gates prepared to fire, Miyamoto's ship appeared red, Target Locked On! As Daft Gates got ready to press the fire button on his control panel, his ship rocked and span out of control. Daft Gates had forgotten the Millenium Falcon had not been removed from the game, and Miyamoto heard "Wahoo! You're all clear now!" as he flew towards the green globe.
Miyamoto switched off his targetting computer, knowing that he'd be better off relying on luck, and he was right to do so. He fired his one and only rocket towards the green dome and in a flash, the X-box exploded.
Coming soon....Console Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back.
Yeah, I know, it's another console wars topic, but it's different :) Atleast I didn't go saying "This is better than that because..." Hope you enjoyed it anyway. Now start your arguing about the X-box beating the GameCube's backside with a large stick any day...