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For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone, Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know!
Now get this, I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make, I found the number and dialled it. A man answered nicely saying 'hello?' I politely said 'This is Paul Fleming and could I please speak to Robin Carter?
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her, she had transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. hehe
When the same person once more answered, I yelled ' You're a jackass!' and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word 'jackass' and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I had to pay bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. he'd answer, and then i'd yell 'you're a jackass!' it would always cheer me up :)
Later in the year the phone company introduced caller id, this was a real dissapointment to me, I would have to stop calling the jackass :( then one day I had an idea, I dialled his number, then heard his voice, 'Hello', I made up a name, 'Hi this is the sales office of British Telecom and i'm just calling to see if your familiar with our caller id programme? he went 'no!' and slammed the phone down, I quickly called him back and said..... 'that's because your a jackass!'
The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you all if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. just dial 01161 19345 09285. it gets better...........
A Few Weeks later.............
The old lady at the shopping centre really took her time pulling out of the parking space, I didn't think she was ever going to leave, finally her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the space, I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out, great I thought, she's finally leaving, all of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the car park in the wrong direction and pulls into her space, I started honking my horn and yelling ' you can't just do that mate! I was here first!" the guy climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me, he walked towards the shopping centre as if he didn't even hear me, I thought to myself......'this guys a jackass, there's certainly a lot of jackasses in this world'.
Then I noticed he had a 'for sale' sign in the window of his car, I wrote down the number, then I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later I was at home sitting at my desk. I had just got off the phone after calling 01161 19345 09285 and yelling 'your a jackass!' (it really is easy to call him now I have his number on speed dial) I noticed the number of the guy with the black BMW lying on my desk and thought 'i'd better call this guy too'
After a couple of rings someone answered the phone and said 'Hello?' I said ' is this the man with the BMW for sale?' ' yes it is' he replied, 'can you tell me where I can see it?' " yes, I live at 1628 Palastine Road, its a tudor house and the cars parked right outside' I said ' whats your name?' " my name is John Hansen' 'when's a good time to catch you John?' " I'm home in the evenings' 'Listen John, can I tell you something? " yes" 'John your a jackass!!' and I slammed the phone down. After I hung up I added Johns number to my speed dialler.
For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution.
First, I had my phone dial jackkass no.1 A man answered nicely saying 'hello' I yelled 'your a jackass!', but this time I didn't hang up, the jackass said " Are you still there?" I said 'yeah' he said " stop calling me you f****** w*****"
I said 'no' hehe, he said "whats your name mate?" I said 'John Hansen' he said "where do you live?" 1628 Palastine Road, it's a Tudor house and my BMW's parked out in front of it' " well i'm coming over there right now John, you'd better start saying your prayers!" I replied ' yeah like i'm really scared.....jackass!' and I hung up.
Then I called jackass number 2, he answered 'Hello" I said ' Hello jackass' he said 'if I ever find out who you are" ... 'you'll what?' " i'll kick your a**e!' 'well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now .....jackass!' and I then hung up.
Then I went outside just across the street to the nearest public phone box, so I couldn't be traced, picked up the phone and dialled 999 for the Police, I told them that I was at 1628 Palastine Road and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home, then another quick call to the local 'BBC Manchester' studios about the drugs gang war going down on Palastine Road.
After that I climbed into my car and headed over to Palastine Road to watch the whole thing, Glorious!! :)
If you ever want to watch two jackasses kicking the cr*p out of each other in front of 5 Police cars, and a police helicopter ;-) well, ..... I taped it off the evening news :-)
Now get this, I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make, I found the number and dialled it. A man answered nicely saying 'hello?' I politely said 'This is Paul Fleming and could I please speak to Robin Carter?
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her, she had transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. hehe
When the same person once more answered, I yelled ' You're a jackass!' and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word 'jackass' and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I had to pay bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. he'd answer, and then i'd yell 'you're a jackass!' it would always cheer me up :)
Later in the year the phone company introduced caller id, this was a real dissapointment to me, I would have to stop calling the jackass :( then one day I had an idea, I dialled his number, then heard his voice, 'Hello', I made up a name, 'Hi this is the sales office of British Telecom and i'm just calling to see if your familiar with our caller id programme? he went 'no!' and slammed the phone down, I quickly called him back and said..... 'that's because your a jackass!'
The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you all if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. just dial 01161 19345 09285. it gets better...........
A Few Weeks later.............
The old lady at the shopping centre really took her time pulling out of the parking space, I didn't think she was ever going to leave, finally her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the space, I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out, great I thought, she's finally leaving, all of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the car park in the wrong direction and pulls into her space, I started honking my horn and yelling ' you can't just do that mate! I was here first!" the guy climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me, he walked towards the shopping centre as if he didn't even hear me, I thought to myself......'this guys a jackass, there's certainly a lot of jackasses in this world'.
Then I noticed he had a 'for sale' sign in the window of his car, I wrote down the number, then I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later I was at home sitting at my desk. I had just got off the phone after calling 01161 19345 09285 and yelling 'your a jackass!' (it really is easy to call him now I have his number on speed dial) I noticed the number of the guy with the black BMW lying on my desk and thought 'i'd better call this guy too'
After a couple of rings someone answered the phone and said 'Hello?' I said ' is this the man with the BMW for sale?' ' yes it is' he replied, 'can you tell me where I can see it?' " yes, I live at 1628 Palastine Road, its a tudor house and the cars parked right outside' I said ' whats your name?' " my name is John Hansen' 'when's a good time to catch you John?' " I'm home in the evenings' 'Listen John, can I tell you something? " yes" 'John your a jackass!!' and I slammed the phone down. After I hung up I added Johns number to my speed dialler.
For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution.
First, I had my phone dial jackkass no.1 A man answered nicely saying 'hello' I yelled 'your a jackass!', but this time I didn't hang up, the jackass said " Are you still there?" I said 'yeah' he said " stop calling me you f****** w*****"
I said 'no' hehe, he said "whats your name mate?" I said 'John Hansen' he said "where do you live?" 1628 Palastine Road, it's a Tudor house and my BMW's parked out in front of it' " well i'm coming over there right now John, you'd better start saying your prayers!" I replied ' yeah like i'm really scared.....jackass!' and I hung up.
Then I called jackass number 2, he answered 'Hello" I said ' Hello jackass' he said 'if I ever find out who you are" ... 'you'll what?' " i'll kick your a**e!' 'well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now .....jackass!' and I then hung up.
Then I went outside just across the street to the nearest public phone box, so I couldn't be traced, picked up the phone and dialled 999 for the Police, I told them that I was at 1628 Palastine Road and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home, then another quick call to the local 'BBC Manchester' studios about the drugs gang war going down on Palastine Road.
After that I climbed into my car and headed over to Palastine Road to watch the whole thing, Glorious!! :)
If you ever want to watch two jackasses kicking the cr*p out of each other in front of 5 Police cars, and a police helicopter ;-) well, ..... I taped it off the evening news :-)
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone, Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know!
Now get this, I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make, I found the number and dialled it. A man answered nicely saying 'hello?' I politely said 'This is Paul Fleming and could I please speak to Robin Carter?
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her, she had transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. hehe
When the same person once more answered, I yelled ' You're a jackass!' and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word 'jackass' and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I had to pay bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. he'd answer, and then i'd yell 'you're a jackass!' it would always cheer me up :)
Later in the year the phone company introduced caller id, this was a real dissapointment to me, I would have to stop calling the jackass :( then one day I had an idea, I dialled his number, then heard his voice, 'Hello', I made up a name, 'Hi this is the sales office of British Telecom and i'm just calling to see if your familiar with our caller id programme? he went 'no!' and slammed the phone down, I quickly called him back and said..... 'that's because your a jackass!'
The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you all if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. just dial 01161 19345 09285. it gets better...........
A Few Weeks later.............
The old lady at the shopping centre really took her time pulling out of the parking space, I didn't think she was ever going to leave, finally her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the space, I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out, great I thought, she's finally leaving, all of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the car park in the wrong direction and pulls into her space, I started honking my horn and yelling ' you can't just do that mate! I was here first!" the guy climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me, he walked towards the shopping centre as if he didn't even hear me, I thought to myself......'this guys a jackass, there's certainly a lot of jackasses in this world'.
Then I noticed he had a 'for sale' sign in the window of his car, I wrote down the number, then I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later I was at home sitting at my desk. I had just got off the phone after calling 01161 19345 09285 and yelling 'your a jackass!' (it really is easy to call him now I have his number on speed dial) I noticed the number of the guy with the black BMW lying on my desk and thought 'i'd better call this guy too'
After a couple of rings someone answered the phone and said 'Hello?' I said ' is this the man with the BMW for sale?' ' yes it is' he replied, 'can you tell me where I can see it?' " yes, I live at 1628 Palastine Road, its a tudor house and the cars parked right outside' I said ' whats your name?' " my name is John Hansen' 'when's a good time to catch you John?' " I'm home in the evenings' 'Listen John, can I tell you something? " yes" 'John your a jackass!!' and I slammed the phone down. After I hung up I added Johns number to my speed dialler.
For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution.
First, I had my phone dial jackkass no.1 A man answered nicely saying 'hello' I yelled 'your a jackass!', but this time I didn't hang up, the jackass said " Are you still there?" I said 'yeah' he said " stop calling me you f****** w*****"
I said 'no' hehe, he said "whats your name mate?" I said 'John Hansen' he said "where do you live?" 1628 Palastine Road, it's a Tudor house and my BMW's parked out in front of it' " well i'm coming over there right now John, you'd better start saying your prayers!" I replied ' yeah like i'm really scared.....jackass!' and I hung up.
Then I called jackass number 2, he answered 'Hello" I said ' Hello jackass' he said 'if I ever find out who you are" ... 'you'll what?' " i'll kick your a**e!' 'well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now .....jackass!' and I then hung up.
Then I went outside just across the street to the nearest public phone box, so I couldn't be traced, picked up the phone and dialled 999 for the Police, I told them that I was at 1628 Palastine Road and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home, then another quick call to the local 'BBC Manchester' studios about the drugs gang war going down on Palastine Road.
After that I climbed into my car and headed over to Palastine Road to watch the whole thing, Glorious!! :)
If you ever want to watch two jackasses kicking the cr*p out of each other in front of 5 Police cars, and a police helicopter ;-) well, ..... I taped it off the evening news :-)
Now get this, I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make, I found the number and dialled it. A man answered nicely saying 'hello?' I politely said 'This is Paul Fleming and could I please speak to Robin Carter?
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her, she had transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. hehe
When the same person once more answered, I yelled ' You're a jackass!' and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word 'jackass' and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I had to pay bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. he'd answer, and then i'd yell 'you're a jackass!' it would always cheer me up :)
Later in the year the phone company introduced caller id, this was a real dissapointment to me, I would have to stop calling the jackass :( then one day I had an idea, I dialled his number, then heard his voice, 'Hello', I made up a name, 'Hi this is the sales office of British Telecom and i'm just calling to see if your familiar with our caller id programme? he went 'no!' and slammed the phone down, I quickly called him back and said..... 'that's because your a jackass!'
The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you all if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. just dial 01161 19345 09285. it gets better...........
A Few Weeks later.............
The old lady at the shopping centre really took her time pulling out of the parking space, I didn't think she was ever going to leave, finally her car began to move and she started to very slowly back out of the space, I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out, great I thought, she's finally leaving, all of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the car park in the wrong direction and pulls into her space, I started honking my horn and yelling ' you can't just do that mate! I was here first!" the guy climbed out of his BMW completely ignoring me, he walked towards the shopping centre as if he didn't even hear me, I thought to myself......'this guys a jackass, there's certainly a lot of jackasses in this world'.
Then I noticed he had a 'for sale' sign in the window of his car, I wrote down the number, then I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later I was at home sitting at my desk. I had just got off the phone after calling 01161 19345 09285 and yelling 'your a jackass!' (it really is easy to call him now I have his number on speed dial) I noticed the number of the guy with the black BMW lying on my desk and thought 'i'd better call this guy too'
After a couple of rings someone answered the phone and said 'Hello?' I said ' is this the man with the BMW for sale?' ' yes it is' he replied, 'can you tell me where I can see it?' " yes, I live at 1628 Palastine Road, its a tudor house and the cars parked right outside' I said ' whats your name?' " my name is John Hansen' 'when's a good time to catch you John?' " I'm home in the evenings' 'Listen John, can I tell you something? " yes" 'John your a jackass!!' and I slammed the phone down. After I hung up I added Johns number to my speed dialler.
For a while things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two jackasses to call. Then after several months of calling the jackasses and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.
I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution.
First, I had my phone dial jackkass no.1 A man answered nicely saying 'hello' I yelled 'your a jackass!', but this time I didn't hang up, the jackass said " Are you still there?" I said 'yeah' he said " stop calling me you f****** w*****"
I said 'no' hehe, he said "whats your name mate?" I said 'John Hansen' he said "where do you live?" 1628 Palastine Road, it's a Tudor house and my BMW's parked out in front of it' " well i'm coming over there right now John, you'd better start saying your prayers!" I replied ' yeah like i'm really scared.....jackass!' and I hung up.
Then I called jackass number 2, he answered 'Hello" I said ' Hello jackass' he said 'if I ever find out who you are" ... 'you'll what?' " i'll kick your a**e!' 'well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now .....jackass!' and I then hung up.
Then I went outside just across the street to the nearest public phone box, so I couldn't be traced, picked up the phone and dialled 999 for the Police, I told them that I was at 1628 Palastine Road and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home, then another quick call to the local 'BBC Manchester' studios about the drugs gang war going down on Palastine Road.
After that I climbed into my car and headed over to Palastine Road to watch the whole thing, Glorious!! :)
If you ever want to watch two jackasses kicking the cr*p out of each other in front of 5 Police cars, and a police helicopter ;-) well, ..... I taped it off the evening news :-)
I am sure you are lying, but anyhoo funny :)
Lol, probably not true but funny :)
I knew it couldn't be true... and who uses 'jackass' anyway?