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Before I start, I would firstly like to thank DW, MiCrOcHiPs and Honey_Monster for supporting me through this spoof. The idea of this spoof has been thought of, but never used. I would like to make this point clear just in case I get someone ranting down my neck about how I copied his or her idea.
The Homer River, falling from the sky are fist-sized drops of beer. Striding down the Homer Bridge is a slim, towering character. As he approaches the pillar of the bridge, he looks into the sky and stares at the stars. The character continues to walk, he takes another step and then suddenly trips over. Lying in the characters path is an obese, yellow man who has his eyes closed and his mouth wide open. Drooling, the man finally rises to his feet and looks at the man on the floor. “Heh, what are you doing in my spot?” asked the yellow man. He didn’t receive a reply so he lowered his hand and looked in the mans pocket. He found a dog tag, saying “Snake”. He also pulled out a small, black piece of equipment. “Ooh, I wonder what this does” the yellow man thought to himself.
Taking both the dog tag and the piece of equipment home, the yellow man went in to his garage and closed the door. * Noises of sawing, welding and eating can be heard from outside the door *. The door finally opens, an hour later, and out walks the yellow man. “Ah, finally” sighs the man. Putting both the dog tag and the piece of equipment down on the dinner table, the yellow man opens the fridge and pulls out a Duff. Taking a closer look at the dog tag, we can now see that felt penned onto the metal is “Homer J. Simpson”. After gulping down the refreshing beer, Homer then takes a look at the piece of equipment. “Well then, what have we got here?” Homer asks. “Nanmacommunacaflons, ah yeah”.
“Hello, any body in?” shouts Homer down the microphone. A voice responds, “Oh god, it’s him again. Hello Homer, this is Patty and I am about to tell you something very impor…”. “Ha, what a piece of junk” says Homer. Homer walks out of the kitchen and heads to the lounge. Slumping into the couch and settling into his bum groove, Homer flicks on the T.V and watches some cartoons. “Ooh, heh heh” Homer laughs childishly. It suddenly goes quiet as the T.V goes black, then some white writing appears on the T.V. “Hey, where’d my cartoon go?” questions Homer. “This is Kent Brockman reporting live for the SSS, Homer we hope you can see this. The Secret Springfield Society is asking you to take up the mission code named Metal Beer Liquid. If you do not choose to accept this mission, your T.V will self-destruct. You will need to phone this number to tell us your decision, the number is I 8 2 MUCH”.
“Wait, T.V or working for the SSS?” asked Homer. “I need my T.V so I have to accept the mission”. Homer slowly tiptoes over to the telephone whilst fiddling with his fingers, he picks up the phone and starts to dial the number. “Hello, is this the SSS? Good, I want to accept this mission. O.K, what do I have to do. So you’ll tell me over that Nanmocamoniflations thing then? Sure, hey wait, what do you mean you’ve got to destroy my T.V because it’s evidence? * Bang! *. “Noooo, why you little…”. * Homer starts to strangle the telephone *.
“Stupid friggin’ SSS, they think they own Springfield”. In a hump, Homer walks out of the lounge and back to the kitchen. He picks up his piece of equipment and puts it in his ear. “Finally, Homer we need you to enter a highly secured ship which is behind enemy lines”. “Ooh, piece of cake. Mmm, cake” Homer replies. “Go back to Homer Bridge and await further instructions from agent Duchess of Dork” says the voice. “Got it, tallyho” says Homer. Homer leaves the kitchen and walks towards the door. Reaches out for the handle but walks into the door and falls flat on his back.
Walking along the bridge, Homer approaches a small person covered in a coat. “Why hello there little ma…”. “Dad? What are you doing here?” asks Lisa. “Lisa, what are doing here at this time? You don’t know who could come along this bridge now” shouts Homer. “Sorry dad, I’m on business” trembles Lisa. “Heh so am I, what a coincidence” says Homer. “Yeah I suppose so, I just hope that this Stompson person gets here soon” replies Lisa. “Yeah, I’ve got to meet this Duchess of Dork” says Homer. “Hey, that’s not right. It’s Duchess of York and that’s my codename. Heh dad, maybe I’m meant to meet you. But wait, how have you been assigned with this mission?” questions Lisa. “Hold on a minute there Lisa, I’m a big shot now. I’ll be signing autographs after this mission if you want one but first things first. Have you got any food?” asks Homer.
“Dad, lets get to the point. You need to go to the Vanker, situated in the middle of the Springfield River. There you will need to take out a man known as “Wigman”, collect his evil plans to destroy Springfield and bring them back to us. We need to stop this evil man, do whatever it takes to save Springfield” Lisa informs Homer. “O.K, where do I go again?” asks Homer. “Dad!” shouts Lisa.
Homer flies over the Vanker in the SSS helicopter, the pilot gives him the signal so Homer slowly lowers himself down to the Vanker. He approaches the floor, eating a doughnut when the rope he is attached to starts to rip. Thread by thread start to come loose and Homer eventually falls to the Vanker’s floor. “Ouch, at least I’ve still got my doughnut though”. Homer rises to his feet, licks his fingers and looks at what the pilot left him in his leather bag. Homer pulls out a beer, a pair of binoculars, a whistle and a peashooter.
Homer puts his equipment back into the leather bag and decides to head to the east side of the Vanker. He starts walking off in the direction he was aiming for but was stopped in his path by a “Yawning” sound coming from above him. He looks up and accidentally drops his leather bag, which makes a loud bang when it hits the floor. “Huh, what’s that” calls the guard. The guard runs down the stairs, which are above Homer, and starts to run in Homers direction. “If I’m going to die, I’ll die in style. I know, I’ll enjoy a nice beer” says Homer. He pulls the beer can out of the leather bag and pulls the ring cap. The sheer pressure contained in the can caused from dropping the leather bag makes the ring cap shoot off in the guard’s direction. “Oh poo” cries the guard as the ring cap hits him directly in the centre of his forehead.
“Phew, that was close” says Homer. Homer now decides to go through the door that the guard was standing in front of. Homer starts to walk up the stairs, gets up three of them and then takes a break. “Wow, now that’s a work out” says Homer. He reaches the top of the stairs and starts to turn the valve, which opens the door. Inside of the door is a small room with a study desk with a small lamp on it. There are also some papers labelled “Important” lying on the table as well. Then suddenly a voice calls from above Homer, “Ah, I see that you have finally found my secret hide out Snake”. “Who?” Homer asks. “Snake, is that you?” the voice asks. “No, I’m Homer J. Simpson of Springfield. Who are you?” asks Homer. “Fool, I am the great Wigham and my plan is to destroy Springfield once and for all” shouts the voice. “Oh, good for you” says Homer. A platform starts to lower from the ceiling, on the platform is a man who resembles a pig. “Right, I’m sick of fighting lame opponents so lets get this over and done with. I hold in my hands a minute bomb, capable of blowing up a small cow. Attached to this bomb is a sound sensor. If anybody screams, the bomb will blow. Unfortunately for you, if this bomb explodes, so will you. Oh, I also have a fart coming along” says Wigham. Homer reaches inside his leather case and gets out his peashooter and the whistle. He pulls the peashooter to his mouth and shoots at Wigham’s eye. It strikes him directly in the eye, leaving him on the spot rubbing his eye as it streams with water. Homer runs towards Wigham with the whistle in his hand. Homer remembers what Kent Brockman said, “Do whatever you have to”. Homer grabs the papers off of the table and continues to run at Wigham. Homer swings his arm at Wigham, shoves the whistle up Wigham’s bum crack and makes a run for it.
Homer slams the door open, runs down the stairs and jumps into the Springfield River. Whilst Homer is plummeting through the river, Wigham lets rip and sets the sound sensor off. The bomb explodes instantly and Wigham is no more.
Well, that’s the end of my first ever spoof. I enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoyed reading it. Hope it wasn’t too rude :D,
Ben.
The Homer River, falling from the sky are fist-sized drops of beer. Striding down the Homer Bridge is a slim, towering character. As he approaches the pillar of the bridge, he looks into the sky and stares at the stars. The character continues to walk, he takes another step and then suddenly trips over. Lying in the characters path is an obese, yellow man who has his eyes closed and his mouth wide open. Drooling, the man finally rises to his feet and looks at the man on the floor. “Heh, what are you doing in my spot?” asked the yellow man. He didn’t receive a reply so he lowered his hand and looked in the mans pocket. He found a dog tag, saying “Snake”. He also pulled out a small, black piece of equipment. “Ooh, I wonder what this does” the yellow man thought to himself.
Taking both the dog tag and the piece of equipment home, the yellow man went in to his garage and closed the door. * Noises of sawing, welding and eating can be heard from outside the door *. The door finally opens, an hour later, and out walks the yellow man. “Ah, finally” sighs the man. Putting both the dog tag and the piece of equipment down on the dinner table, the yellow man opens the fridge and pulls out a Duff. Taking a closer look at the dog tag, we can now see that felt penned onto the metal is “Homer J. Simpson”. After gulping down the refreshing beer, Homer then takes a look at the piece of equipment. “Well then, what have we got here?” Homer asks. “Nanmacommunacaflons, ah yeah”.
“Hello, any body in?” shouts Homer down the microphone. A voice responds, “Oh god, it’s him again. Hello Homer, this is Patty and I am about to tell you something very impor…”. “Ha, what a piece of junk” says Homer. Homer walks out of the kitchen and heads to the lounge. Slumping into the couch and settling into his bum groove, Homer flicks on the T.V and watches some cartoons. “Ooh, heh heh” Homer laughs childishly. It suddenly goes quiet as the T.V goes black, then some white writing appears on the T.V. “Hey, where’d my cartoon go?” questions Homer. “This is Kent Brockman reporting live for the SSS, Homer we hope you can see this. The Secret Springfield Society is asking you to take up the mission code named Metal Beer Liquid. If you do not choose to accept this mission, your T.V will self-destruct. You will need to phone this number to tell us your decision, the number is I 8 2 MUCH”.
“Wait, T.V or working for the SSS?” asked Homer. “I need my T.V so I have to accept the mission”. Homer slowly tiptoes over to the telephone whilst fiddling with his fingers, he picks up the phone and starts to dial the number. “Hello, is this the SSS? Good, I want to accept this mission. O.K, what do I have to do. So you’ll tell me over that Nanmocamoniflations thing then? Sure, hey wait, what do you mean you’ve got to destroy my T.V because it’s evidence? * Bang! *. “Noooo, why you little…”. * Homer starts to strangle the telephone *.
“Stupid friggin’ SSS, they think they own Springfield”. In a hump, Homer walks out of the lounge and back to the kitchen. He picks up his piece of equipment and puts it in his ear. “Finally, Homer we need you to enter a highly secured ship which is behind enemy lines”. “Ooh, piece of cake. Mmm, cake” Homer replies. “Go back to Homer Bridge and await further instructions from agent Duchess of Dork” says the voice. “Got it, tallyho” says Homer. Homer leaves the kitchen and walks towards the door. Reaches out for the handle but walks into the door and falls flat on his back.
Walking along the bridge, Homer approaches a small person covered in a coat. “Why hello there little ma…”. “Dad? What are you doing here?” asks Lisa. “Lisa, what are doing here at this time? You don’t know who could come along this bridge now” shouts Homer. “Sorry dad, I’m on business” trembles Lisa. “Heh so am I, what a coincidence” says Homer. “Yeah I suppose so, I just hope that this Stompson person gets here soon” replies Lisa. “Yeah, I’ve got to meet this Duchess of Dork” says Homer. “Hey, that’s not right. It’s Duchess of York and that’s my codename. Heh dad, maybe I’m meant to meet you. But wait, how have you been assigned with this mission?” questions Lisa. “Hold on a minute there Lisa, I’m a big shot now. I’ll be signing autographs after this mission if you want one but first things first. Have you got any food?” asks Homer.
“Dad, lets get to the point. You need to go to the Vanker, situated in the middle of the Springfield River. There you will need to take out a man known as “Wigman”, collect his evil plans to destroy Springfield and bring them back to us. We need to stop this evil man, do whatever it takes to save Springfield” Lisa informs Homer. “O.K, where do I go again?” asks Homer. “Dad!” shouts Lisa.
Homer flies over the Vanker in the SSS helicopter, the pilot gives him the signal so Homer slowly lowers himself down to the Vanker. He approaches the floor, eating a doughnut when the rope he is attached to starts to rip. Thread by thread start to come loose and Homer eventually falls to the Vanker’s floor. “Ouch, at least I’ve still got my doughnut though”. Homer rises to his feet, licks his fingers and looks at what the pilot left him in his leather bag. Homer pulls out a beer, a pair of binoculars, a whistle and a peashooter.
Homer puts his equipment back into the leather bag and decides to head to the east side of the Vanker. He starts walking off in the direction he was aiming for but was stopped in his path by a “Yawning” sound coming from above him. He looks up and accidentally drops his leather bag, which makes a loud bang when it hits the floor. “Huh, what’s that” calls the guard. The guard runs down the stairs, which are above Homer, and starts to run in Homers direction. “If I’m going to die, I’ll die in style. I know, I’ll enjoy a nice beer” says Homer. He pulls the beer can out of the leather bag and pulls the ring cap. The sheer pressure contained in the can caused from dropping the leather bag makes the ring cap shoot off in the guard’s direction. “Oh poo” cries the guard as the ring cap hits him directly in the centre of his forehead.
“Phew, that was close” says Homer. Homer now decides to go through the door that the guard was standing in front of. Homer starts to walk up the stairs, gets up three of them and then takes a break. “Wow, now that’s a work out” says Homer. He reaches the top of the stairs and starts to turn the valve, which opens the door. Inside of the door is a small room with a study desk with a small lamp on it. There are also some papers labelled “Important” lying on the table as well. Then suddenly a voice calls from above Homer, “Ah, I see that you have finally found my secret hide out Snake”. “Who?” Homer asks. “Snake, is that you?” the voice asks. “No, I’m Homer J. Simpson of Springfield. Who are you?” asks Homer. “Fool, I am the great Wigham and my plan is to destroy Springfield once and for all” shouts the voice. “Oh, good for you” says Homer. A platform starts to lower from the ceiling, on the platform is a man who resembles a pig. “Right, I’m sick of fighting lame opponents so lets get this over and done with. I hold in my hands a minute bomb, capable of blowing up a small cow. Attached to this bomb is a sound sensor. If anybody screams, the bomb will blow. Unfortunately for you, if this bomb explodes, so will you. Oh, I also have a fart coming along” says Wigham. Homer reaches inside his leather case and gets out his peashooter and the whistle. He pulls the peashooter to his mouth and shoots at Wigham’s eye. It strikes him directly in the eye, leaving him on the spot rubbing his eye as it streams with water. Homer runs towards Wigham with the whistle in his hand. Homer remembers what Kent Brockman said, “Do whatever you have to”. Homer grabs the papers off of the table and continues to run at Wigham. Homer swings his arm at Wigham, shoves the whistle up Wigham’s bum crack and makes a run for it.
Homer slams the door open, runs down the stairs and jumps into the Springfield River. Whilst Homer is plummeting through the river, Wigham lets rip and sets the sound sensor off. The bomb explodes instantly and Wigham is no more.
Well, that’s the end of my first ever spoof. I enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoyed reading it. Hope it wasn’t too rude :D,
Ben.
Very nice. Good show.
Yay thank you very much Mr. Sr man, i am very grateful :D Get in!
Lol, nice story. Matt Groening would be proud.
Lol, brilliant post Ben, thanks for the mention.
Heh heh, very good. Matt Groening should bye that idea off you and make it into a show. :D
Truly wicked stuff. purely origional in a done kinda way
Hoho...brilliant! I got a mention...in the first line :c)
*Dances*
Brilliant stuff man.
*Dances*
Brilliant stuff man.
Excellent Mr. Melons, Enjoyed reading it! :)
Do another! :)
Do another! :)
Before I start, I would firstly like to thank DW, MiCrOcHiPs and Honey_Monster for supporting me through this spoof. The idea of this spoof has been thought of, but never used. I would like to make this point clear just in case I get someone ranting down my neck about how I copied his or her idea.
The Homer River, falling from the sky are fist-sized drops of beer. Striding down the Homer Bridge is a slim, towering character. As he approaches the pillar of the bridge, he looks into the sky and stares at the stars. The character continues to walk, he takes another step and then suddenly trips over. Lying in the characters path is an obese, yellow man who has his eyes closed and his mouth wide open. Drooling, the man finally rises to his feet and looks at the man on the floor. “Heh, what are you doing in my spot?” asked the yellow man. He didn’t receive a reply so he lowered his hand and looked in the mans pocket. He found a dog tag, saying “Snake”. He also pulled out a small, black piece of equipment. “Ooh, I wonder what this does” the yellow man thought to himself.
Taking both the dog tag and the piece of equipment home, the yellow man went in to his garage and closed the door. * Noises of sawing, welding and eating can be heard from outside the door *. The door finally opens, an hour later, and out walks the yellow man. “Ah, finally” sighs the man. Putting both the dog tag and the piece of equipment down on the dinner table, the yellow man opens the fridge and pulls out a Duff. Taking a closer look at the dog tag, we can now see that felt penned onto the metal is “Homer J. Simpson”. After gulping down the refreshing beer, Homer then takes a look at the piece of equipment. “Well then, what have we got here?” Homer asks. “Nanmacommunacaflons, ah yeah”.
“Hello, any body in?” shouts Homer down the microphone. A voice responds, “Oh god, it’s him again. Hello Homer, this is Patty and I am about to tell you something very impor…”. “Ha, what a piece of junk” says Homer. Homer walks out of the kitchen and heads to the lounge. Slumping into the couch and settling into his bum groove, Homer flicks on the T.V and watches some cartoons. “Ooh, heh heh” Homer laughs childishly. It suddenly goes quiet as the T.V goes black, then some white writing appears on the T.V. “Hey, where’d my cartoon go?” questions Homer. “This is Kent Brockman reporting live for the SSS, Homer we hope you can see this. The Secret Springfield Society is asking you to take up the mission code named Metal Beer Liquid. If you do not choose to accept this mission, your T.V will self-destruct. You will need to phone this number to tell us your decision, the number is I 8 2 MUCH”.
“Wait, T.V or working for the SSS?” asked Homer. “I need my T.V so I have to accept the mission”. Homer slowly tiptoes over to the telephone whilst fiddling with his fingers, he picks up the phone and starts to dial the number. “Hello, is this the SSS? Good, I want to accept this mission. O.K, what do I have to do. So you’ll tell me over that Nanmocamoniflations thing then? Sure, hey wait, what do you mean you’ve got to destroy my T.V because it’s evidence? * Bang! *. “Noooo, why you little…”. * Homer starts to strangle the telephone *.
“Stupid friggin’ SSS, they think they own Springfield”. In a hump, Homer walks out of the lounge and back to the kitchen. He picks up his piece of equipment and puts it in his ear. “Finally, Homer we need you to enter a highly secured ship which is behind enemy lines”. “Ooh, piece of cake. Mmm, cake” Homer replies. “Go back to Homer Bridge and await further instructions from agent Duchess of Dork” says the voice. “Got it, tallyho” says Homer. Homer leaves the kitchen and walks towards the door. Reaches out for the handle but walks into the door and falls flat on his back.
Walking along the bridge, Homer approaches a small person covered in a coat. “Why hello there little ma…”. “Dad? What are you doing here?” asks Lisa. “Lisa, what are doing here at this time? You don’t know who could come along this bridge now” shouts Homer. “Sorry dad, I’m on business” trembles Lisa. “Heh so am I, what a coincidence” says Homer. “Yeah I suppose so, I just hope that this Stompson person gets here soon” replies Lisa. “Yeah, I’ve got to meet this Duchess of Dork” says Homer. “Hey, that’s not right. It’s Duchess of York and that’s my codename. Heh dad, maybe I’m meant to meet you. But wait, how have you been assigned with this mission?” questions Lisa. “Hold on a minute there Lisa, I’m a big shot now. I’ll be signing autographs after this mission if you want one but first things first. Have you got any food?” asks Homer.
“Dad, lets get to the point. You need to go to the Vanker, situated in the middle of the Springfield River. There you will need to take out a man known as “Wigman”, collect his evil plans to destroy Springfield and bring them back to us. We need to stop this evil man, do whatever it takes to save Springfield” Lisa informs Homer. “O.K, where do I go again?” asks Homer. “Dad!” shouts Lisa.
Homer flies over the Vanker in the SSS helicopter, the pilot gives him the signal so Homer slowly lowers himself down to the Vanker. He approaches the floor, eating a doughnut when the rope he is attached to starts to rip. Thread by thread start to come loose and Homer eventually falls to the Vanker’s floor. “Ouch, at least I’ve still got my doughnut though”. Homer rises to his feet, licks his fingers and looks at what the pilot left him in his leather bag. Homer pulls out a beer, a pair of binoculars, a whistle and a peashooter.
Homer puts his equipment back into the leather bag and decides to head to the east side of the Vanker. He starts walking off in the direction he was aiming for but was stopped in his path by a “Yawning” sound coming from above him. He looks up and accidentally drops his leather bag, which makes a loud bang when it hits the floor. “Huh, what’s that” calls the guard. The guard runs down the stairs, which are above Homer, and starts to run in Homers direction. “If I’m going to die, I’ll die in style. I know, I’ll enjoy a nice beer” says Homer. He pulls the beer can out of the leather bag and pulls the ring cap. The sheer pressure contained in the can caused from dropping the leather bag makes the ring cap shoot off in the guard’s direction. “Oh poo” cries the guard as the ring cap hits him directly in the centre of his forehead.
“Phew, that was close” says Homer. Homer now decides to go through the door that the guard was standing in front of. Homer starts to walk up the stairs, gets up three of them and then takes a break. “Wow, now that’s a work out” says Homer. He reaches the top of the stairs and starts to turn the valve, which opens the door. Inside of the door is a small room with a study desk with a small lamp on it. There are also some papers labelled “Important” lying on the table as well. Then suddenly a voice calls from above Homer, “Ah, I see that you have finally found my secret hide out Snake”. “Who?” Homer asks. “Snake, is that you?” the voice asks. “No, I’m Homer J. Simpson of Springfield. Who are you?” asks Homer. “Fool, I am the great Wigham and my plan is to destroy Springfield once and for all” shouts the voice. “Oh, good for you” says Homer. A platform starts to lower from the ceiling, on the platform is a man who resembles a pig. “Right, I’m sick of fighting lame opponents so lets get this over and done with. I hold in my hands a minute bomb, capable of blowing up a small cow. Attached to this bomb is a sound sensor. If anybody screams, the bomb will blow. Unfortunately for you, if this bomb explodes, so will you. Oh, I also have a fart coming along” says Wigham. Homer reaches inside his leather case and gets out his peashooter and the whistle. He pulls the peashooter to his mouth and shoots at Wigham’s eye. It strikes him directly in the eye, leaving him on the spot rubbing his eye as it streams with water. Homer runs towards Wigham with the whistle in his hand. Homer remembers what Kent Brockman said, “Do whatever you have to”. Homer grabs the papers off of the table and continues to run at Wigham. Homer swings his arm at Wigham, shoves the whistle up Wigham’s bum crack and makes a run for it.
Homer slams the door open, runs down the stairs and jumps into the Springfield River. Whilst Homer is plummeting through the river, Wigham lets rip and sets the sound sensor off. The bomb explodes instantly and Wigham is no more.
Well, that’s the end of my first ever spoof. I enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoyed reading it. Hope it wasn’t too rude :D,
Ben.
The Homer River, falling from the sky are fist-sized drops of beer. Striding down the Homer Bridge is a slim, towering character. As he approaches the pillar of the bridge, he looks into the sky and stares at the stars. The character continues to walk, he takes another step and then suddenly trips over. Lying in the characters path is an obese, yellow man who has his eyes closed and his mouth wide open. Drooling, the man finally rises to his feet and looks at the man on the floor. “Heh, what are you doing in my spot?” asked the yellow man. He didn’t receive a reply so he lowered his hand and looked in the mans pocket. He found a dog tag, saying “Snake”. He also pulled out a small, black piece of equipment. “Ooh, I wonder what this does” the yellow man thought to himself.
Taking both the dog tag and the piece of equipment home, the yellow man went in to his garage and closed the door. * Noises of sawing, welding and eating can be heard from outside the door *. The door finally opens, an hour later, and out walks the yellow man. “Ah, finally” sighs the man. Putting both the dog tag and the piece of equipment down on the dinner table, the yellow man opens the fridge and pulls out a Duff. Taking a closer look at the dog tag, we can now see that felt penned onto the metal is “Homer J. Simpson”. After gulping down the refreshing beer, Homer then takes a look at the piece of equipment. “Well then, what have we got here?” Homer asks. “Nanmacommunacaflons, ah yeah”.
“Hello, any body in?” shouts Homer down the microphone. A voice responds, “Oh god, it’s him again. Hello Homer, this is Patty and I am about to tell you something very impor…”. “Ha, what a piece of junk” says Homer. Homer walks out of the kitchen and heads to the lounge. Slumping into the couch and settling into his bum groove, Homer flicks on the T.V and watches some cartoons. “Ooh, heh heh” Homer laughs childishly. It suddenly goes quiet as the T.V goes black, then some white writing appears on the T.V. “Hey, where’d my cartoon go?” questions Homer. “This is Kent Brockman reporting live for the SSS, Homer we hope you can see this. The Secret Springfield Society is asking you to take up the mission code named Metal Beer Liquid. If you do not choose to accept this mission, your T.V will self-destruct. You will need to phone this number to tell us your decision, the number is I 8 2 MUCH”.
“Wait, T.V or working for the SSS?” asked Homer. “I need my T.V so I have to accept the mission”. Homer slowly tiptoes over to the telephone whilst fiddling with his fingers, he picks up the phone and starts to dial the number. “Hello, is this the SSS? Good, I want to accept this mission. O.K, what do I have to do. So you’ll tell me over that Nanmocamoniflations thing then? Sure, hey wait, what do you mean you’ve got to destroy my T.V because it’s evidence? * Bang! *. “Noooo, why you little…”. * Homer starts to strangle the telephone *.
“Stupid friggin’ SSS, they think they own Springfield”. In a hump, Homer walks out of the lounge and back to the kitchen. He picks up his piece of equipment and puts it in his ear. “Finally, Homer we need you to enter a highly secured ship which is behind enemy lines”. “Ooh, piece of cake. Mmm, cake” Homer replies. “Go back to Homer Bridge and await further instructions from agent Duchess of Dork” says the voice. “Got it, tallyho” says Homer. Homer leaves the kitchen and walks towards the door. Reaches out for the handle but walks into the door and falls flat on his back.
Walking along the bridge, Homer approaches a small person covered in a coat. “Why hello there little ma…”. “Dad? What are you doing here?” asks Lisa. “Lisa, what are doing here at this time? You don’t know who could come along this bridge now” shouts Homer. “Sorry dad, I’m on business” trembles Lisa. “Heh so am I, what a coincidence” says Homer. “Yeah I suppose so, I just hope that this Stompson person gets here soon” replies Lisa. “Yeah, I’ve got to meet this Duchess of Dork” says Homer. “Hey, that’s not right. It’s Duchess of York and that’s my codename. Heh dad, maybe I’m meant to meet you. But wait, how have you been assigned with this mission?” questions Lisa. “Hold on a minute there Lisa, I’m a big shot now. I’ll be signing autographs after this mission if you want one but first things first. Have you got any food?” asks Homer.
“Dad, lets get to the point. You need to go to the Vanker, situated in the middle of the Springfield River. There you will need to take out a man known as “Wigman”, collect his evil plans to destroy Springfield and bring them back to us. We need to stop this evil man, do whatever it takes to save Springfield” Lisa informs Homer. “O.K, where do I go again?” asks Homer. “Dad!” shouts Lisa.
Homer flies over the Vanker in the SSS helicopter, the pilot gives him the signal so Homer slowly lowers himself down to the Vanker. He approaches the floor, eating a doughnut when the rope he is attached to starts to rip. Thread by thread start to come loose and Homer eventually falls to the Vanker’s floor. “Ouch, at least I’ve still got my doughnut though”. Homer rises to his feet, licks his fingers and looks at what the pilot left him in his leather bag. Homer pulls out a beer, a pair of binoculars, a whistle and a peashooter.
Homer puts his equipment back into the leather bag and decides to head to the east side of the Vanker. He starts walking off in the direction he was aiming for but was stopped in his path by a “Yawning” sound coming from above him. He looks up and accidentally drops his leather bag, which makes a loud bang when it hits the floor. “Huh, what’s that” calls the guard. The guard runs down the stairs, which are above Homer, and starts to run in Homers direction. “If I’m going to die, I’ll die in style. I know, I’ll enjoy a nice beer” says Homer. He pulls the beer can out of the leather bag and pulls the ring cap. The sheer pressure contained in the can caused from dropping the leather bag makes the ring cap shoot off in the guard’s direction. “Oh poo” cries the guard as the ring cap hits him directly in the centre of his forehead.
“Phew, that was close” says Homer. Homer now decides to go through the door that the guard was standing in front of. Homer starts to walk up the stairs, gets up three of them and then takes a break. “Wow, now that’s a work out” says Homer. He reaches the top of the stairs and starts to turn the valve, which opens the door. Inside of the door is a small room with a study desk with a small lamp on it. There are also some papers labelled “Important” lying on the table as well. Then suddenly a voice calls from above Homer, “Ah, I see that you have finally found my secret hide out Snake”. “Who?” Homer asks. “Snake, is that you?” the voice asks. “No, I’m Homer J. Simpson of Springfield. Who are you?” asks Homer. “Fool, I am the great Wigham and my plan is to destroy Springfield once and for all” shouts the voice. “Oh, good for you” says Homer. A platform starts to lower from the ceiling, on the platform is a man who resembles a pig. “Right, I’m sick of fighting lame opponents so lets get this over and done with. I hold in my hands a minute bomb, capable of blowing up a small cow. Attached to this bomb is a sound sensor. If anybody screams, the bomb will blow. Unfortunately for you, if this bomb explodes, so will you. Oh, I also have a fart coming along” says Wigham. Homer reaches inside his leather case and gets out his peashooter and the whistle. He pulls the peashooter to his mouth and shoots at Wigham’s eye. It strikes him directly in the eye, leaving him on the spot rubbing his eye as it streams with water. Homer runs towards Wigham with the whistle in his hand. Homer remembers what Kent Brockman said, “Do whatever you have to”. Homer grabs the papers off of the table and continues to run at Wigham. Homer swings his arm at Wigham, shoves the whistle up Wigham’s bum crack and makes a run for it.
Homer slams the door open, runs down the stairs and jumps into the Springfield River. Whilst Homer is plummeting through the river, Wigham lets rip and sets the sound sensor off. The bomb explodes instantly and Wigham is no more.
Well, that’s the end of my first ever spoof. I enjoyed writing it so I hope you enjoyed reading it. Hope it wasn’t too rude :D,
Ben.