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Having been to Carnival for the last 7 years, I have witnessed its steady conversion into a highly commercial event. This has finally culminated in a new quick-cash game license from EA Dance. It's a fairly standard fare dance simulation that captures the claustrophobia and unbearable sweatiness of the real event. It will naturally be dance-mat compatible. Just scatter empty beer cans, broken glass and 'home-made cigarette' butts over the mat for extra authenticity.
So far, EA have released details of the first 6 levels:
LEVEL ONE: The classic Notting Hill Carnival cliche. You control a policeman dancing enthusiastically with an elderly Trinidadian lady for the benefit of onlooking Daily Mail photographers. Get the bobby booty-shaking so that fellow party-goers comment on how PC (politically correct) that PC (police constable) is.
LEVEL TWO: Another common carnival phenomenon, you play a white teen from Weybridge gettin down with a Rasta from Peckham in front of a hard-ragga sound-system. If you bop with enough spirit, you might even pull that Tara Trustafarian type... that girl from Sloane Square with dirty great dreadlocks.
LEVEL THREE: Ah, the ubiquitous American tourist. You must control a slightly bewildered looking American middle age lady wearing a pink shell-suit with matching sun-visor. The sound of UK garage is new and unheard to this particular character, so you must improvise to the 2-step beat using a variety of 'jive', 'twist' and other aged 'rock'n'roll' dance manouvres.
LEVEL FOUR: This level puts you in contol of an up'n'coming cheeky chappy MTV presenter. You must build up your credibility in-front of the crowds by head-nodding sagely to rare reggae 45" vinyl played from the Studio One Sound System. Fari my rudebwoy bredders.
LEVEL FIVE: Always a great opportunity for advertising, level 5 sees you controlling the lady from the Lilt advert. You must strut the funky-Lilt-calypso on the big Lilt carnival float. You must dance so well, and in such a Caribbean fashion, that everyone develops a thirst for a pineapple and grapefruit flavoured fruit crush.
LEVEL SIX: 'Bob', the mad tramp who lives on a bench in the Carnival zone, loves it when the party comes to town. After polishing off the dregs of Special Brew from the thousands of half-empty lager cans littering the streets, Bob loves nothing more than to hardstep to some intelligent-jazz fusion-drum'n'bass... "Mwurara... hmphhh.... buuurp.... maaah dippy dippy rer na?"
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Bonus levels are set to incorporate:
FIND THE TOILET MISSION: You have 3 hours to find somewhere in which to unleash nature's fury. It may sound simple... but 3 porcelain bowls divided by 2 million people means it's a near-impossible task.
FOLLOW THE BEER TROLLEY: You must spot a sign scrawled with the message '4 cans of Red Stripe 4 a £5' and follow the man with the lager-trolley, aiming to catch up with him before a primary school carnival float stops you dead in your tracks and maroons you on the wrong side of the road for the next hour and a half.
SHOOT TIM WESTWOOD: A simple enough premise me-thinks.
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So far, confirmed artists for the game soundtrack include:
Smoothy Jam & The Crispy Cracker Crew
Judge Dreddy (ft Brian the Lion from Zion)
Ahmhaiignubu
DJ Hairy Cornflake & MC Cheggers
The Wailing Backyard Dawgz
Rasta Elvis
Vulcanized Biking Leather Kru
De Erb Gardeners (with special PA from Alan Titchmarsh)
Having been to Carnival for the last 7 years, I have witnessed its steady conversion into a highly commercial event. This has finally culminated in a new quick-cash game license from EA Dance. It's a fairly standard fare dance simulation that captures the claustrophobia and unbearable sweatiness of the real event. It will naturally be dance-mat compatible. Just scatter empty beer cans, broken glass and 'home-made cigarette' butts over the mat for extra authenticity.
So far, EA have released details of the first 6 levels:
LEVEL ONE: The classic Notting Hill Carnival cliche. You control a policeman dancing enthusiastically with an elderly Trinidadian lady for the benefit of onlooking Daily Mail photographers. Get the bobby booty-shaking so that fellow party-goers comment on how PC (politically correct) that PC (police constable) is.
LEVEL TWO: Another common carnival phenomenon, you play a white teen from Weybridge gettin down with a Rasta from Peckham in front of a hard-ragga sound-system. If you bop with enough spirit, you might even pull that Tara Trustafarian type... that girl from Sloane Square with dirty great dreadlocks.
LEVEL THREE: Ah, the ubiquitous American tourist. You must control a slightly bewildered looking American middle age lady wearing a pink shell-suit with matching sun-visor. The sound of UK garage is new and unheard to this particular character, so you must improvise to the 2-step beat using a variety of 'jive', 'twist' and other aged 'rock'n'roll' dance manouvres.
LEVEL FOUR: This level puts you in contol of an up'n'coming cheeky chappy MTV presenter. You must build up your credibility in-front of the crowds by head-nodding sagely to rare reggae 45" vinyl played from the Studio One Sound System. Fari my rudebwoy bredders.
LEVEL FIVE: Always a great opportunity for advertising, level 5 sees you controlling the lady from the Lilt advert. You must strut the funky-Lilt-calypso on the big Lilt carnival float. You must dance so well, and in such a Caribbean fashion, that everyone develops a thirst for a pineapple and grapefruit flavoured fruit crush.
LEVEL SIX: 'Bob', the mad tramp who lives on a bench in the Carnival zone, loves it when the party comes to town. After polishing off the dregs of Special Brew from the thousands of half-empty lager cans littering the streets, Bob loves nothing more than to hardstep to some intelligent-jazz fusion-drum'n'bass... "Mwurara... hmphhh.... buuurp.... maaah dippy dippy rer na?"
----------------------------------------------------
Bonus levels are set to incorporate:
FIND THE TOILET MISSION: You have 3 hours to find somewhere in which to unleash nature's fury. It may sound simple... but 3 porcelain bowls divided by 2 million people means it's a near-impossible task.
FOLLOW THE BEER TROLLEY: You must spot a sign scrawled with the message '4 cans of Red Stripe 4 a £5' and follow the man with the lager-trolley, aiming to catch up with him before a primary school carnival float stops you dead in your tracks and maroons you on the wrong side of the road for the next hour and a half.
SHOOT TIM WESTWOOD: A simple enough premise me-thinks.
----------------------------------------------------
So far, confirmed artists for the game soundtrack include:
Smoothy Jam & The Crispy Cracker Crew
Judge Dreddy (ft Brian the Lion from Zion)
Ahmhaiignubu
DJ Hairy Cornflake & MC Cheggers
The Wailing Backyard Dawgz
Rasta Elvis
Vulcanized Biking Leather Kru
De Erb Gardeners (with special PA from Alan Titchmarsh)
If he does'nt win GAD then i'm chasing Snuggers with a stick!
Well done.