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I was making a seemingly uneventful journey to the local town centre when I decided to have a quick sift through the radio stations. I clicked on Happy FM (Capital) and the old Alanis morisette lyrics beamed out. My initial reaction was “Gah turn that rubbish off.” But I let it play for a while, and soon came the chorus “What if god was one of us?” This got me thinking. Where are the Religious based games? Why aren’t there any? Well it’s my duty to suggest some ideas:
Jesus Christ in: Prophet under fire- Based on the mutliformat release James Bond in agent under fire, you basically fight, and dodge and manoeuvre you’re way through 12 levels until you get to the ultimate challenge of defeating King Herald. The weapons you use are pretty sparse, a wooden stick which is prone to breaking and a sheep to use as a shield and a form of defence. You’re main asset is the intelligence information you receive from god via Pigeon mail. The game is broken up into various missions, where you have to complete mission objectives along the way. The only problem is, Jesus doesn’t have the skills to chat up the women like Bond does. Mainly because if Mary finds out he’ll know he’s in for an earful when he gets home for his tea. The multiplayer aspect of the game is above average. Pick a prophet, God, King Herald or Abraham or any Religious figure from the past, and get ready for some intense FPS action! The “Golden Gun” of this game is “The Golden stick” Only awarded in exceptional circumstances. Expect a release around Christmas time to coincide with Jesus’ birthday.
Metal Gear Solid 3: Son of god- This highly acclaimed stealth-em-up see’s you take on the role of Noah, a hapless middle-age man struck down by seemingly endless rain. His main objective is to guide his multitude of animals through 8 tough levels, and eventually reach sunny Australia. Each level he encounters takes place in a different country, starting from rainy Grimsby, passing Eastern Europe and the Middle East on route to Australia. The main point of communication is by cell phone. Here’s an example of a call:
Noah: God?
God: yes?
Noah: You’re not god!?!?
God: Oh yes I am, you know what your problem is? You’re in denial
Noah: No, I’m not
God: I rest my case
Noah: Damn you’re too quick for me
As you can see these cell phone calls are not always on the subject of his mission……but it is helpful. When in other countries the main problem is, defeating the enemy. You have a small sack full of stones, this being the only form of defence you have got. So instead you have to use your following animals to your full advantage. Why not climb onto the Giraffe? Or hide in the panda’s fur? Son of god is all about using you’re initiative. EA are currently struggling to get a license for the game.
Wwe Smackdown: The Holy Scuffle- Tipped as the best in the Smackdown series so far, this instalment offers a unique insight into the religious leader’s qualities. Choose from Jesus (Christianity), The Buddha (Buddhism) or even Abraham (Judaism). Most matches are refereed to a strict standard by God himself, although he will get accused of being biased towards Jesus. The crowds favourite match the ladder matches are also included. A multitude of weapons are there to be discovered ranging from the less than glamorous sheep skin (freshly cut of course) to the highly acclaimed wodden stick. Fans will be disappointed that Jesus and Abraham have not allowed for their wives to be shown in the game. Ea commented that they will try and produce replicas. We’ll look forward to that. Here’s to a future bloodbath!
Jesus Christ in: Prophet under fire- Based on the mutliformat release James Bond in agent under fire, you basically fight, and dodge and manoeuvre you’re way through 12 levels until you get to the ultimate challenge of defeating King Herald. The weapons you use are pretty sparse, a wooden stick which is prone to breaking and a sheep to use as a shield and a form of defence. You’re main asset is the intelligence information you receive from god via Pigeon mail. The game is broken up into various missions, where you have to complete mission objectives along the way. The only problem is, Jesus doesn’t have the skills to chat up the women like Bond does. Mainly because if Mary finds out he’ll know he’s in for an earful when he gets home for his tea. The multiplayer aspect of the game is above average. Pick a prophet, God, King Herald or Abraham or any Religious figure from the past, and get ready for some intense FPS action! The “Golden Gun” of this game is “The Golden stick” Only awarded in exceptional circumstances. Expect a release around Christmas time to coincide with Jesus’ birthday.
Metal Gear Solid 3: Son of god- This highly acclaimed stealth-em-up see’s you take on the role of Noah, a hapless middle-age man struck down by seemingly endless rain. His main objective is to guide his multitude of animals through 8 tough levels, and eventually reach sunny Australia. Each level he encounters takes place in a different country, starting from rainy Grimsby, passing Eastern Europe and the Middle East on route to Australia. The main point of communication is by cell phone. Here’s an example of a call:
Noah: God?
God: yes?
Noah: You’re not god!?!?
God: Oh yes I am, you know what your problem is? You’re in denial
Noah: No, I’m not
God: I rest my case
Noah: Damn you’re too quick for me
As you can see these cell phone calls are not always on the subject of his mission……but it is helpful. When in other countries the main problem is, defeating the enemy. You have a small sack full of stones, this being the only form of defence you have got. So instead you have to use your following animals to your full advantage. Why not climb onto the Giraffe? Or hide in the panda’s fur? Son of god is all about using you’re initiative. EA are currently struggling to get a license for the game.
Wwe Smackdown: The Holy Scuffle- Tipped as the best in the Smackdown series so far, this instalment offers a unique insight into the religious leader’s qualities. Choose from Jesus (Christianity), The Buddha (Buddhism) or even Abraham (Judaism). Most matches are refereed to a strict standard by God himself, although he will get accused of being biased towards Jesus. The crowds favourite match the ladder matches are also included. A multitude of weapons are there to be discovered ranging from the less than glamorous sheep skin (freshly cut of course) to the highly acclaimed wodden stick. Fans will be disappointed that Jesus and Abraham have not allowed for their wives to be shown in the game. Ea commented that they will try and produce replicas. We’ll look forward to that. Here’s to a future bloodbath!
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Hey, since this is about Religious Gaming, then here's a suggestion. How 'bout if Naughty Dog created Jesus and Hagar:The Religious Legacy. Based on Jak and Daxter:The Precusor Legacy. Basicly, Jesus and Hagar were roaming in one of the most dangerous places ever, Hell-y Island. While they were chased by a few fallen angels, Hagar accidently fell in a tub of hell eco. an elemental energy that could give nothing but destruction. Fortunately Hagar didn't die and turned into a weasel. Now Jesus and Hagar have to travel to Hellfire's Underworld in order to find Satan and force him to turn Hagar to himself again.
But to travel to Hellfire's underworld, they have to run through hot flaming lava, defeat obstacles like killing massive trolls, sent fallen angels to where they came from and last but not least, Satan's minnions.
This is just a suggestion, so please, don't dis. ( :=' )
But to travel to Hellfire's underworld, they have to run through hot flaming lava, defeat obstacles like killing massive trolls, sent fallen angels to where they came from and last but not least, Satan's minnions.
This is just a suggestion, so please, don't dis. ( :=' )
Amen
:)
:)
Religious gaming would be so boring. And rubbish. And stupid. And blah.
I hate religious mumbo jumbo. So pathetic.
Bleeeeeeeh.......
I hate religious mumbo jumbo. So pathetic.
Bleeeeeeeh.......
'Religious' games with Jesus in? Jesus wasn't religous and why would Jesus fight Herod? he died when Jesus was young wasn't exactly his worst enemy and Jesus wouldn't only have a stick and sheep hes God's son so he could call on Angels you could make it so he builded up and then at a surtain point he could call on the angel of death
Flanders wrote:
Just might have to correct a few points.
Fair enough
Who is King Herald ? Do you by any chance mean Herod ? ..... Are you
getting confused by singing to many rendtitions of Hark the Herald
agents sing.
Indeed, that and i was reading the daily Herald.
And Jesus's wife ?!?! It may have escaped your attention but he was
not actually married. Mary was his mum......
Bah who actually listens in RE lessons?
That will do for now.
Oh
Just might have to correct a few points.
Fair enough
Who is King Herald ? Do you by any chance mean Herod ? ..... Are you
getting confused by singing to many rendtitions of Hark the Herald
agents sing.
Indeed, that and i was reading the daily Herald.
And Jesus's wife ?!?! It may have escaped your attention but he was
not actually married. Mary was his mum......
Bah who actually listens in RE lessons?
That will do for now.
Oh
how about a sim game where you control the pope and have to go through his daily routine. (this is a joke ok take it as one)
9am - good ol popey has to get up and dressed for work. After remembering where he put his robe he gets dressed and then goes down his stanna stair lift.
10am - finally the stair lift gets to the bottom and popey has to fix himself some breakfast. After finding the christo crispies he quickly makes himself a bowl and begins to eat.
10.30am - after drooling half his brekkie down his robe he has to go back upstairs to get changed.
11.30am - popey finally makes it upstairs and gets changed
12.30pm - gets back downstairs again and then after looking at the clock he realises he has to rush off to work.
2.00pm - popey finally makes it to the door.
2.10pm - he gets in the pope-mobile and heads off to work.
3.00pm - after causing a massive pile up our pope makes it into work
4.00pm - After accidentally dropping a baby into the baptism water and almost chokeing someone by sticking the bread too far into their mouth the pope decides that's enough for one day and goes back home.
5.30pm - using the special pope lane the council had built into the main roads popey quickly makes it back home avoiding all the angry motorists.
6.00pm - getting to the door popey searches for his keys and then tries to find the lock on his door. However he notices something missing - a door.
6.30pm - after looking around his house popey comes to the conclusion some kind people have come in and cleaned up and taking all his furniture away for further cleaning.
7.30pm - popey quietly sits on the floor patiently waiting for his furniture to come back.
9.00pm - it now dawns on popey that it's Tuesday and the cleaning people don't come until Thursday. Popey is quite upset.
A good lesson there for all you future The Pope players. Always make sure your character locks his door before he goes to work otherwise you'll have to spend some of your budget replacing everything
9am - good ol popey has to get up and dressed for work. After remembering where he put his robe he gets dressed and then goes down his stanna stair lift.
10am - finally the stair lift gets to the bottom and popey has to fix himself some breakfast. After finding the christo crispies he quickly makes himself a bowl and begins to eat.
10.30am - after drooling half his brekkie down his robe he has to go back upstairs to get changed.
11.30am - popey finally makes it upstairs and gets changed
12.30pm - gets back downstairs again and then after looking at the clock he realises he has to rush off to work.
2.00pm - popey finally makes it to the door.
2.10pm - he gets in the pope-mobile and heads off to work.
3.00pm - after causing a massive pile up our pope makes it into work
4.00pm - After accidentally dropping a baby into the baptism water and almost chokeing someone by sticking the bread too far into their mouth the pope decides that's enough for one day and goes back home.
5.30pm - using the special pope lane the council had built into the main roads popey quickly makes it back home avoiding all the angry motorists.
6.00pm - getting to the door popey searches for his keys and then tries to find the lock on his door. However he notices something missing - a door.
6.30pm - after looking around his house popey comes to the conclusion some kind people have come in and cleaned up and taking all his furniture away for further cleaning.
7.30pm - popey quietly sits on the floor patiently waiting for his furniture to come back.
9.00pm - it now dawns on popey that it's Tuesday and the cleaning people don't come until Thursday. Popey is quite upset.
A good lesson there for all you future The Pope players. Always make sure your character locks his door before he goes to work otherwise you'll have to spend some of your budget replacing everything
Mwhahaah. Good, funny post Quinty. :)
Angels - ooopps...
Hmmmm..
No I wont do lots of dissing cos it's not really that offensive.
Just might have to correct a few points.
Who is King Herald ? Do you by any chance mean Herod ? ..... Are you getting confused by singing to many rendtitions of Hark the Herald agents sing.
And Jesus's wife ?!?! It may have escaped your attention but he was not actually married. Mary was his mum......
That will do for now.
No I wont do lots of dissing cos it's not really that offensive.
Just might have to correct a few points.
Who is King Herald ? Do you by any chance mean Herod ? ..... Are you getting confused by singing to many rendtitions of Hark the Herald agents sing.
And Jesus's wife ?!?! It may have escaped your attention but he was not actually married. Mary was his mum......
That will do for now.
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