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Do you ever think about the inside of Nintendo head-quarters in Japan. Here is my view on the secrets that are never ever shared outside their walls. I had to disguise myself as a worker so I knocked one out and stole his I.D. So here we go and enjoy.
Firstly as you walk to the building you notice three things:
1)The entrance is located after travelling down a long tube of about 2 miles, covered with artists drawings of all the Nintendo and Rare characters.
2)To travel down this tube you must use what looks like Karts as seen in Mario Kart.
3)The emplyees seem to be racing down using shells, banana peels and stars to slow each other down. The winner gets a free trophy.
As I enter the main reception building I see several sets of stairs leading to places like "Idea Room", "Try-Out Room", "Construction of games, controls, memory cards, consoles, extension leads and more stuff room" "Discussion Room" and of course the lunch room. Suddenly, a short, plump man dressed in a red shirt and blue dungarees hands me a Mario Sticker. He tells me it will help me gain access to all the rooms. Could this be Mario himself? Have I just stood next to Mario himself? Mr. Nintendo? No. On his dungarees it says "And by the way I'm not Mario, just a guy deperate for money." Where to now then? I know, how about the "discussion room".
Inside the "discussion room" I can see hundreds of Japanese people sitting around a huge red table. All of a sudden Mr Shigeru Miyamoto himself enters the room, and all is silent. Since I can't speak Japanese I brought this trusty and so so handy translator with me. Here is the discussion:
Shigeru Miyamoto: "Right now, how are we create a new and totally original game, that will sell millions?"
Nintendo worker number 1265: "How about we create a game based on our gardens?"
Nintendo worker number 0138: "No you donkey, we've already done that.?
Nintendo worker number 0002"How about our living rooms then?"
Shigeru Miyamoto: "Brilliant, you're promoted! And now that's out of the way, let's eat!"
I will now follow all these hungry hard-workers into the "lunch room". As the door opens I see... I see... a Pizza Hut situated right in the middle with about 50 tables placed around it. Well, not being a fussy eater I have 12 peperonies and 5 meat feasts. About 4 hours later I hear Shigeru Miyamoto shout "Back To Work!" Everyone leaves immediately accept me. I must continue my investigation and move into the "Construction of games, controls, memory cards, consoles, extension leads and more stuff Room"
Opening the squeaky wooden door I am shocked to tell you that I find.. Pikmin. 100 Pikmin working their backsides off building games and consoles and other stuff. This is a horrible site and I must move on before I throw up. Who would have thought it? Nintendo. Putting these poor defensless creatures in hell, and for what? This is disgraceful, this is disgusting, this is.. hey wait a fiver! What was I saying again? Oh well, lets go into the "Idea Room."
All I can see in here is a dark, damp room filled with note pads and pens. Besides this, the room is empty. I sit down on the floor and wait for something to happen. I sit for two hours and count 890 pens and 276 note pads. I really need to get out more. I fall asleep.
Next thing I know the door opens and Shigeru Miyamoto enters with two others. I hide in the corner and watch in anticipation. The two other men sit Shigeru down on a foldable chair and flick a switch on the floor. Suddenly the walls start to rotate and out pops two black bolky machines. One has a label that says "Place Shigeru here." I'm confused until they add a metal helmet on his head cover in tubes. Click! The machine starts to work and two metallic arms start writing on the note pads using the pens. Now I understand. This machine writes down all Shigeru's ideas. I sneeze. The two men stare at me and gasp. Uh oh! I get up and run out quickly. How about we make the next room the last one?
Inside the "Try-out room" I see hunderds of television monitors on tables inside a green painted room. I go up to one screen and see the full version of Mario Sunshine up and running. Wow! I play it... for at least five seconds when hundreds of employees come racing in to grab a television. Afraid of being noticed I walk out slowly. I eventually make it and close the door.
I turn round and see another room. How come I haven't seen this one before? I walk up to it and read the sign. It reads "Rares little itty bitty work room." I try to open it, but it's locked. Then I notice another sign. It reads "On a break. Be back in 5 months."
So now I leave. That is if I can find the exit. I search for 5 hours. Eventually I find it and go through the door, only through the door is not the bright sunshine beaming down in my eyes, but another dark corridor. When will it end?
Well there you have it, my ideas thrown together into a blender showing you the inside of Nintendo HQ. Now you know the truth... or the lies but hope you enjoyed it.
Thanks for reading.
Firstly as you walk to the building you notice three things:
1)The entrance is located after travelling down a long tube of about 2 miles, covered with artists drawings of all the Nintendo and Rare characters.
2)To travel down this tube you must use what looks like Karts as seen in Mario Kart.
3)The emplyees seem to be racing down using shells, banana peels and stars to slow each other down. The winner gets a free trophy.
As I enter the main reception building I see several sets of stairs leading to places like "Idea Room", "Try-Out Room", "Construction of games, controls, memory cards, consoles, extension leads and more stuff room" "Discussion Room" and of course the lunch room. Suddenly, a short, plump man dressed in a red shirt and blue dungarees hands me a Mario Sticker. He tells me it will help me gain access to all the rooms. Could this be Mario himself? Have I just stood next to Mario himself? Mr. Nintendo? No. On his dungarees it says "And by the way I'm not Mario, just a guy deperate for money." Where to now then? I know, how about the "discussion room".
Inside the "discussion room" I can see hundreds of Japanese people sitting around a huge red table. All of a sudden Mr Shigeru Miyamoto himself enters the room, and all is silent. Since I can't speak Japanese I brought this trusty and so so handy translator with me. Here is the discussion:
Shigeru Miyamoto: "Right now, how are we create a new and totally original game, that will sell millions?"
Nintendo worker number 1265: "How about we create a game based on our gardens?"
Nintendo worker number 0138: "No you donkey, we've already done that.?
Nintendo worker number 0002"How about our living rooms then?"
Shigeru Miyamoto: "Brilliant, you're promoted! And now that's out of the way, let's eat!"
I will now follow all these hungry hard-workers into the "lunch room". As the door opens I see... I see... a Pizza Hut situated right in the middle with about 50 tables placed around it. Well, not being a fussy eater I have 12 peperonies and 5 meat feasts. About 4 hours later I hear Shigeru Miyamoto shout "Back To Work!" Everyone leaves immediately accept me. I must continue my investigation and move into the "Construction of games, controls, memory cards, consoles, extension leads and more stuff Room"
Opening the squeaky wooden door I am shocked to tell you that I find.. Pikmin. 100 Pikmin working their backsides off building games and consoles and other stuff. This is a horrible site and I must move on before I throw up. Who would have thought it? Nintendo. Putting these poor defensless creatures in hell, and for what? This is disgraceful, this is disgusting, this is.. hey wait a fiver! What was I saying again? Oh well, lets go into the "Idea Room."
All I can see in here is a dark, damp room filled with note pads and pens. Besides this, the room is empty. I sit down on the floor and wait for something to happen. I sit for two hours and count 890 pens and 276 note pads. I really need to get out more. I fall asleep.
Next thing I know the door opens and Shigeru Miyamoto enters with two others. I hide in the corner and watch in anticipation. The two other men sit Shigeru down on a foldable chair and flick a switch on the floor. Suddenly the walls start to rotate and out pops two black bolky machines. One has a label that says "Place Shigeru here." I'm confused until they add a metal helmet on his head cover in tubes. Click! The machine starts to work and two metallic arms start writing on the note pads using the pens. Now I understand. This machine writes down all Shigeru's ideas. I sneeze. The two men stare at me and gasp. Uh oh! I get up and run out quickly. How about we make the next room the last one?
Inside the "Try-out room" I see hunderds of television monitors on tables inside a green painted room. I go up to one screen and see the full version of Mario Sunshine up and running. Wow! I play it... for at least five seconds when hundreds of employees come racing in to grab a television. Afraid of being noticed I walk out slowly. I eventually make it and close the door.
I turn round and see another room. How come I haven't seen this one before? I walk up to it and read the sign. It reads "Rares little itty bitty work room." I try to open it, but it's locked. Then I notice another sign. It reads "On a break. Be back in 5 months."
So now I leave. That is if I can find the exit. I search for 5 hours. Eventually I find it and go through the door, only through the door is not the bright sunshine beaming down in my eyes, but another dark corridor. When will it end?
Well there you have it, my ideas thrown together into a blender showing you the inside of Nintendo HQ. Now you know the truth... or the lies but hope you enjoyed it.
Thanks for reading.
Page:
Excellent.
The Ninty Forum wins it's first GAD in a while. Well, since Sibs.
:-)
Nice post.
The Ninty Forum wins it's first GAD in a while. Well, since Sibs.
:-)
Nice post.
They should have mario pictures or decorations. It might help make production of games more fun and faster.
oh no :-(
The poor pikmin!
The poor pikmin!
Good post, but in real life it's far more boring- mnot even any pictures of mario in the lobby... EDGE had a tour of it a few months back
Thanks a lot guys. You see I tried to come up with something funny and original, and then thought about doing a topic on Nintendo HQ being as they are so secret. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Nice post, and it didn't go on for ages like some other GAD attempts.
V. funny too.
V. funny too.
this guy doesn't stop, nice post ghost killer
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