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"WWIII in hippyman's household"

Ever feel like you're between a rock and a hard place?

Well as some of you know I'm unemployed and desperately looking for a job (spending hours a day trawling through job sites etc, applying for 6-7 a week). My stepbrother has been unemployed longer than me and is applying for about one a month. He has no motivation and is just a lazy so-and-so. My stepdad just lost his job on medical grounds and is looking to find employment as soon as possible. My mum is providing for the family.

I do feel bad about this and am looking for anything. My stepbrother, who moved in with us a year ago on Friday, couldn't care a less and is just a miserable blight that is bringing everyone down. He hasn't worked and has a poor set of GCSEs because he didn't think it was a good idea to study. I have four A2's in the three sciences in maths and all passes in my GCSEs.

Yet when it comes to looking down and seeing none of us are employed, my stepdad gives us both a lecture (and tells me afterwards it's not aimed at me) about not putting the effort in, being lazy and not doing anything. Kind of a downer on me don't you think - feeling the wrath when working hard to avoid it and do domething of the situation.

Anyway, today tipped me over the edge a little and hence he title of the thread. My stepdad told me today to apply for a 4-hour a week job at the local camera shop (about £5.50 an hour or £22 a week or a £1144 salary if you like). I said I need something a bit more full time and he progressed to say beggars can't be choosers. True. However, he was the one that wanted me to leave my 20 hour a week job at GAME because it wasn't full time :S And when my mum came home she was upset because I'd applied for a porter's job at a nearby hospital that paid about £12.5k a year, saying I'm over qualified and should try and find something better.

I recounted both parents' stories in front of them and basically a huge argument broke out. My stepdad doesn't want me to go for the porter job as he'd rather see me in a camera shop for a few hours a week. My mum doesn't want me to go for it because I'm over qualified. If I don't apply for it I'mm being lazy and not working hard. But if I'm overqualified for a full-time position delivering things around hospitals, then why am I not over qualified to do a schoolchilds saturday job? Hmmm...

Yet I get this lecture whilst my stepbrother is upstairs freeloading away with no job, no motivation and spending what must be hs 8th hour today on his 360. I'm paying into the household with my savings, yet he's not.

Sadly this is life in the household and I've threatened to move in with a relative very soon. I must sound like a real jerk, but at the moment I need to escape. Any advice?

Dragonlance wrote:
> SorrowS wrote:
> wow alot of typing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>
> Haven't you got anything more constructive to say that might
> help?

I think he's posted that message in like every thread where there's more than ten words.

And thanks trish, agree along with some of what you are saying, but I'm a man and have to disagree with some of your other points, although I am trying to build upon them. There were a few things I left out on my initial post that I don't feel comfortable discussing, and it is those that conflict with one or two of your statements. Nothing to worry about :) Thanks again.

Thanks everyone for yur input, feeling happier about things now - especially after applying for a bucket-load of jobs since posting and discussing matters with you guys :)

SorrowS wrote:
> wow alot of typing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Haven't you got anything more constructive to say that might help?

wow alot of typing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heres my two cents:

1. forget about your stepbrother, moaning about what he is and isnt doing is a waste of time because A. he isnt your problem and B. its kind of childish

2. take a job, any job, while youre looking for another one, your step father is right, beggars cant be choosers, any job is better than no job at all, if youve been looking this long and not got a job yet theres a reason for it, so take what comes and keep looking, time to stop being choosy

3. bear in mind you are probably getting flak from your parents because theyre feeling the pressure of only one income supporting 4 of you, i know that feeling because i was in the same boat for a very long time, but being parents they feel they have to get on with it regardless and protect and provide for the kids, so cut them some slack when it seems like theyre lashing out

4. youre a grown up now, you dont have to do what your parents tell you anymore, what they say is an opinion, nothing more. its your choice where you work and for how many hours, but its not a wise choice to turn your nose up at any hours anywhere when you have nothing else,if your parents are thinking one job is better than another then theyre putting daft ideas in your head, because the guy at the bottom of the pecking order right now is the guy with no job at all, i.e. you, even the school kid doing his few hours in the camera shop is higher on the list because he has a CV because of those few hours, so any step on the ladder is a step upwards, taking one job wont prevent you from moving onto somewhere else if something better comes along later

and finally

5. the longer you wait to take a job the harder it will be to get one at all, no prospective employer wants to see a big gap on a cv, every week you let go by is making that gap bigger, dont let it get so big that you dont even get to interview stage anymore

think thats everything! best of luck!

Nin wrote:
> How much is job satisfaction worth to you? More than 10k a year?

It probably is, yes. The reason I say that is I'm very aware of my own weaknesses, if I become unhappy in a job, I become very unproductive, which I'm sure one day will earn me the sack in some job or other.

People criticise me for a lack of self-motivation and I guess they have a point at times.

Nin wrote:
> How can you perfectly suit the position and yet there be a better
> option?

Exactly. I was confused as well. Luckily I don't have to work with them :)

> To be honest i've no idea why i was turned down, i was
> easily capable of everything they were asking for and for once i
> actually got through the interview without saying something
> stupid.

The other candidate slept with the interviewer perhaps? It's a funny old game this job search. Throws up some miraculous decisions.

How can you perfectly suit the position and yet there be a better option? To be honest i've no idea why i was turned down, i was easily capable of everything they were asking for and for once i actually got through the interview without saying something stupid.

Oh dear. I'm sure something is around the corner.

I heard back my admin application was rejected today. "We were interested in all of your abilities and suited the role perfectly. However, we found more candidates better for the role than you - please do not hesitate to apply for future roles with us"

Makes no sense at all.

hippyman wrote:
> Heard anything back from your interview yet Nin?

I have indeed which is why i havent brought it up ;) F**k em though

For me it would be the job satisfaction - but I'd be happy to have an extra £10k and job satisfaction.

Heard anything back from your interview yet Nin?