Viewing Thread:
"The Magrix"

~Scene 1
Goatboy: Yeh
Mystique: Is everything in place
Goatboy: You aren’t suppose to relieve me
Mystique: I know but I felt like taking a shift
Goatboy: You like him don’t u – you like laughing at him
Mystique: Don’t be ridiculous
Goatboy: We are gonna kill him you understand that?
Mystique: MEKA BELIEVES HE IS THE ONE.
Goatboy: Do you?
Mystique: It doesn’t matter what I believe
Goatboy: You don’t do you?
Mystique: Did you hear that?
Goatboy: Yeh what?
Mystique: Are you sure this line is clean?
Goatboy: Well… actually… I spilt my dinner on it and my shirt while playing on the computer. You know how it is, with the food on your lap, whilst trying to play a computer game… you know.
Mystique: No.. I mean are you sure this line is bug free.
Goatboy: Yeah of course I’m sure..
Mystique: I better go

“Dodgey green stuff ie. Number etcs.. you’ve seen the film you know what I mean”

~Scene 2
Searchlights outside the Basildon Special Reserve shop which Mystique has broken into to use their high speed internet connection because her ADSL is down:
A group of armed policemen are outside, holding their guns to a door
The door is kicked down – Mystique is on a computer playing an online game

Hybrid: FREEZE POLICE! Put your hands over your head! – DO IT NOW!

Outside… Three men in sunglasses and black suits are getting out of their car and walking towards the building! The agents are Tony, Snuggly and Loki.
Tony: Work experience boy…
Work Experience Boy: Oh damn…
Tony: Work Experience Boy you were given specific orders
Work Experience Boy: Hey I’m just doing my job… I’m only meant to make the tea, but when she broke in, I had to call in the police for goodness sake!
Tony: The orders were for your protection…
Work Experience Boy: Ha ha! I think we can handle one little geek.. (Calling) I asked for two units! They are bringing her down now!
Tony: (quietly without turning round to the boy) No Work Experience Boy those men are already dead..

Hybrid Valves approaches Mystique. Suddenly, Mystique swings around and hits him on the head with her keyboard. She jumps in air – the camera spins around her. She kicks Hybrid Valves, the force knocks her back flying. Mystique kicks her chair (Hiay!). The chair sails through the air and makes contact with one of Hybrid’s men, knocking them to the floor. A third armed policeman gasps and shoots at her. Mystique runs up a wall and along it, evading many bullets from the gun of the policeman.. Mystique jumps off the wall and grabs the policeman. She grabs his gun and fires at another unit. She kicks the soldier off herself.
Mystique: Oh damn.
Men begin to enter room. Mystique pulls out a mobile phone.
Mystique: (in an excited girl way) Oh, text message!!
Mystique reads the text message.
Mystique: That is sooooo true! (she laughs at the message). Oh yeh, I’m suppose to be getting out of here.
Mystique: Meka the line was traced I don’t know how
Meka: I know... they must have bribed BT, and got them to cut the hardline.
Mystique: Or maybe BT’s messed up again?
Meka: Yes maybe… but there’s no time you are going to have to get to another exit.
Mystique: Are there any agents??
Meka: Yes.
Mystique: Oh great... being on that computer so long has stopped the circulation to my legs.
Meka: You have to focus Mystique – you’ve been playing online games all night with only caffeine to keep you going. There is a phone just outside the shop. You can make it.
Mystique (breaths): Alright.
Mystique: Oww stitch!!
Tony is now on the roof with the policemen. Agent jumps over to the restaurant roof himself. The policemen also jump struggling to make it, Tony however makes it with ease. Tony begins to chase Mystique who is now on the roof of the UCI cinema. Tony stops and fires at Mystique who then jumps all the way to the Hollywood Bowl roof. She rolls into a standing position again. She then hides. Tony scans the area for her. Mystique then runs as fast as he can and glides all the way to the floor, she hits the floor and rolls. She stops, pointing two pistols to the roof. She waits. No agent is visible.
Mystique (to herself): get up Mystique… you need to get back on the internet. I’m doing physical activities… no geek can do that without going on the computer in between… Just get up. Get up!
She jumps up and runs towards the phone box. The special reserve car which is positioned outside the Basildon shop, is being revved up by a driver. Mystique stops and looks at it right in front of the phone she needs to get to. It is ringing inside. The car revs it’s engine once more. Mystique runs. The car begins to move. The driver laughs. Mystique wounded grabs the receiver.
Mystique: Hello?
Voice: Er did you just call me?
Mystique: No!
Mystique slams the phone down, it rings again. She grabs it. The car is now right in front of the phone box. She raises his hand.
The car ploughs into the phone box which shatters, debris crashes to the ground into a pile of rubble. It reverses away from the rubble. Tony looks at the wreckage. Loki follows.
Loki: He got out.
Tony: It doesn’t matter.
(Snuggly walks up on their right.)
Loki: The informant is real.
Tony: It appears so.
Snuggly: We have the name of their next target.
Loki: The name is Er-no.
Tony: We need a search running.
Loki: It has already begun.

~Scene 3
We enter the receiver. Searching… (Er-no’s bedroom) he is surfing the internet, looking at some “interesting” websites on his PC. A message appears on the computer..
“Stop looking at porn Er-no”
Er-no stirs and looks up.
“The MaGrix has you…”
Er-no: Huh?
Er-no taps alt ctrl delete. Nothing happens.
Er-no: Damn unstable windows millennium!
The message: “Follow the mars bar Er-no”
Er-no: mmm.. food
Message: Knock knock Er-no.
(There is a knock at the door)
Er-no takes a few minutes to react.
There is another knock.
Er-no: Who is it?
CDouch: ITS ME CDouch!
Er-no opens door.
Er-no: (looks at watch) You are two hours late.
CDouch: I know.. It’s her fault! That stupid woman (points to his mum)
Er-no: You got the money?
CDouch: yep.
(He hands a five pound note to Er-no)
Er-no: Hold on.
He gets a copied cd from a book. The cd reads “Barbie Shelly Club for the PS1”. He hands it to CDouch.
CDouch: Great! You are my saviour.
Er-no: You know if you get caught using that..
CDouch: I know I get bullied by classmates.. this never happened. You don’t exist.
Er-no: Right
CDouch: Something wrong man? You look a little whiter than usual..
Er-no: my.. computer.. it (laughs) ever had that feeling when you are not quite sure you are awake or dreaming?
CDouch: Yeh all the time…. Usually it’s the bit when I suddenly realise I have no clothes on that I realise I’m dreaming. Hey man this sounds to me like you need to unplug. (to friends) do you think we should take him with us to Mega Zone? (There are some little kids about 10 years old waiting to go.)
Kid1: Definitely.
Er-no: Don’t you guys like do normal stuff for people our age - like paintball?
CDouch: (laughs) Paintballs hurt, laser games are more fun.
Kid1: Go on it will be fun! Promise! (He pulls out a Mars Bar – Er-no notices. His salivary glands kick into action)
Er-no: Yeh.. sure. I’ll go. (He grabs the kid, punches him in the stomach and grabs his chocolate bar and eats it in one go. The little kid starts crying and runs off. Er-no looks back to computer)
Message on computer: For goodness sake don’t eat it! Just follow them!

~Scene 4
< Inside “Megazone”, the laser game designed for small children’s birthday parties – ‘cool’ (cough) music playing>
CDouch is shooting some little kids giggling enjoying himself. Mystique walks up to Er-no who is hiding from the little kids.
Mystique: Hello Er-no.
Er-no: How do you know my name?
Mystique: Er… you’ve got a name tag on your shirt. It says “Er-no : Party Guest”
Er-no: Oh.. who are you?
Mystique: Mystique
Er-no: Mystique. Theee Mystique? That hacked the gameaday system and got away with fifty games?
Mystique: That was a long time ago.
Er-no: Woah..
Mystique: What?
Er-no: I just thought… you… you were… a bloke.
Mystique: Most guys do… at first
Er-no: My computer… How did you do that?
Mystique: Right now all I can tell you is you are in danger.. I brought you hear to warn you.
Er-no: What?
Mystique: They are watching you Er-no…
(Suddenly Er-no’s Megazone pack rumbles. He falls on the floor in a spasm screaming in pain. Some little kids giggle).
Er-no: Them?
Mystique: Not them.. others..
Er-no: Who is?
Mystique: Please just listen.
Mystique (whispering in Erno’s ear): I know why you are here Er-no.. I know what you have been doing. (Er-no’s face turns pale in fear) I know why you hardly sleep.. why you live alone and night after night you sit at your Playstation. You have no proper social life, you spend far too much time on certain sites and you are looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing.. well apart from the videos.. and when he found me, I wasn’t really looking for him. – I was looking for an answer. It’s the question that drives us Er-no. It’s the question that brought you hear. You know the question just as I did.
Er-no: What is the MaGrix?
Mystique: The answer is out there Er-no. It’s looking for you and will find you. If you want it to.

~Scene 5
Next morning.. alarm clock goes
Er-no: Oh no no no!!
Some window cleaners are cleaning Er-no’s school windows
Headmaster: You have a problem with authority Mr. Er-no. You believe that you are special. The rules do not apply to you.… obviously you are mistaken. (Er-no’s hangs head in shame) This school is one of the top schools in the country because every single student understands that learning is the key to good grades and learning requires making lessons regularly. The time has come Mr. Er-no to make a choice. Either make it to school on time or choose to find yourself expelled.
Er-no: Huh??? But…
Headmaster: Do I make myself clear?
Er-no: Yes sir sorry sir.

~Scene 6 (Right in the middle of a lesson)
Office Lady: Er-no?
Er-no: Yes that’s me..
Office Lady: A note.. please sign here.
Er-no signs on a note from the office. Along with the note is a parcel.
Teacher: Now on with the lesson..
Er-no opens parcel. There is a Nokia 3310. It rings silently as soon as he touches it.
Phone: Hello cool funkster do you know who this is?
Er-no (whispering): Meka Dragon?
Teacher: Shh, can you put that phone away please?
Meka: yeeeeeesssss. They are looking for you Er-no. I don’t know whether you are ready for the things I must show you. We have run out of time though. They are coming Er-no – and I don’t know what they are going to do.
Er-no: Who’s coming for me?
Teacher: Er-no, I’ll ask you again please put the phone down.
Meka: Stand up and see for yourself..
Er-no: Right now?
Meka: Yes.. right now. Do it slowly.
Er-no stands up
Teacher: Er-no please sit down.
Er-no walks over to the door.
Meka: The elevator.
Er-no leaves the class room and goes into the corridor, hiding behind an ajar door.
Teacher (calling): Come back this instant!
Er-no sees Tony, Snuggly and Loki as the elevator doors open.
Er-no: OH (Er-no swears).
Meka: yesssssssssssss
They are getting closer.
Er-no: What the hell do they want with me?
Er-no walks over to the door and looks through the window.
Meka: I don’t know. But if you don’t want to find out I suggest you get out of there.
Er-no: How?
Meka: I can guide you but you must do exactly as I say.
Er-no: Okay.
Meka: Put your fingers in your ears and say “I’m gay”
Er-no: No!
Meka: Oh.. alright then, ok. There’s an empty classroom across from you.
Er-no: What if they..
Meka: Go now! Now stay there for a minute. When I tell you, go out the other door, and you up the stairs. Stay as low as you can.
Er-no: Can’t I just fight them?
Meka: No, you’re not trained yet.
Er-no: What about bullet time? I could use that too my advantage.
Meka: No, you can’t do that either. Now go for goodness sake! Up the stairs!
Er-no gets to the top of the stairs.
Meka: Good, now on your right is a teacher’s office with an open window.
Er-no: How do you know all this?
Meka: I don’t I’m guessing.
Er-no: Pretty good…
Er-no runs into the room.
Meka: Now jump out that window and commit suicide!!
Er-no: That’s not a solution! I thought you were saving me from them!
Meka: Suicide is the only option here!
Er-no: Surely there is another one?
Meka: Nope.
Er-no: Forget this, let them get me. I’m too young to die.

~Scene 7
Er-no is led out by the three agents and is placed in an interrogation room. Agent Tony is interrogating him.
Agent Tony: As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr… what’s your name again?
Er-no: Er-no.
Agent Tony: No your real name…
Er-no: Er….
Agent Tony: No!
Er-no: Yep, Er-no
Agent Tony: No I mean what’s your name. Not Er-no your real name.
Er-no: No idea to be honest.
Agent Tony: Ok, I’ll just call you Bob.
Er-no: Fair enough.
Agent Tony: It seems that you've been living two lives. In one life, you are Bob, a student in a nearby comprehensive school and you look at rude material in the toilets. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias Er-no..
Er-no: I go by that in real life too…
Agent Tony: Silence. You are guilty of virtually every chat forum crime we have a law for. Spamming, blatant gameaday attempts, abuse of other members, reporting posts in the hope of getting Gameaday attempts voided, upping your ratings for your own walkthroughs on the rating system, reviewing all games 10/10 despite some of them being rubbish, sucking up to Special Reserve staff in the customer service forum, copying cheats from other sites, claiming that you can get certain cheats by tapping a single key over a hundred times in hope of winning a game, abusing newbies… and the list goes on.
Er-no: ALL LIES!
Agent Tony: Then how can you explain this review score from last year?
(Tony reveals a print off of the special reserve site).
Tony: 100% for Superman on the N64? And it’s not an accidental “I forgot to give a review score” case as you quite clearly at the bottom of you review and I quote have said “This is one amazing game, surely this is the best game ever made. Well worth the forty quid and easily the best game ever made. I’d give this 100%.”
Er-no goes quiet.
Er-no: It was a typo..
Agent Tony: We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual, a man who calls himself Meka. Now whatever you think you know about this man is irrelevant. He is considered by many authorities to be the most dangerous man alive. My colleagues believe that I am wasting my time with you but I believe that you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start and all that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.
Er-no: Er…. No.
Agent Tony: Um, Bob. You disappoint me.
Er-no: You can't scare me!
Agent Tony: I think I can.
(Tony disappears into a room, he comes out with a laptop computer. He then smashes it on the floor).
Er-no: NOOOOO!

~Scene 8
(Er-no’s apartment, Er-no wakes up in a hot sweat)
Er-no: Only a dream… it’s okay, it was only a dream. No laptop got smashed.. phew. (The phone rings.)
Meka: This line is tapped, so I must be brief. They got to you first, but they've underestimated how important you are. If they knew what I know, you'd probably be dead.
Er-no: What are you talking about. What...what is happening to me?
Meka: You are the one, Er-no. You see you may have spent the last few years looking for me, but I've spent my entire life looking for you. Now do you still want to meet?
Er-no: Sounds good to me.
(Meka gives directions to a bridge nearby.)

(Car)
Mystique: Get in.

Mystique: Now.. relax we think you’ve been bugged.
Mystique grabs a floppy disk drive and shoves into Er-no’s mouth.
Mystique starts tapping on Er-no’s stomach.
Mystique: He’s got a CIH virus….
Er-no: (with floppy in mouth mumbles) Huh??! I thought you could only get that on PCs.
Mystique: Hold still you’ve been bugged. This floppy has McAfee Anti-virus software on it. It will make you clean in seconds.
Er-no (mumbling): Is it the latest update?
Mystique: Don’t be ridiculous. No antivirus is completely up to date. Now hold still. I’m going to rid you of the bug.
Er-no goes into a spasm.
Mystique: Clean..
(The car drives to a hotel.)
Mystique: Some advice – be honest. He knows more than you can imagine. He’s a stalker.

Meka: At last. Welcome, Er-no. As you no doubt have guessed, I am Meka.
Er-no: It's an honour to meet you.
Meka: No, the honour is mine. Please, come. Sit down. I imagine that right now you're feeling a bit like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole? Hm?
Er-no: You calling me a girl!?!?
Meka: I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Er-no?
Er-no: I really have no idea what you are talking about.
Meka: I know you feel there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is but it's there, like a splinter in your mind driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Er-no: The Magrix.
Meka: Do you want to know what IT is?
Er-no: It’s a subject at school. You use computers.
Meka: The Magrix is everywhere. It is all around us, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes.
Er-no: Taxes? I’m 16ish.
Meka: It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
Er-no: What truth?
Meka: That you are a slave, Er-no. Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison for your mind.... a computer program’s brain designed to look exactly like the world you know, concealing you from the truth. A program known as Grix Thraves. His brain is the world we live in. But unfortunately, no one can be told what the Magrix is. You have to see it for yourself.
Er-no: Er, but you just told me the Magrix was a computer program.
Meka: Yes, but… you have to see it for yourself.
Er-no: Not really, it’s quite clear to me now.
Meka: Oh whatever! This is your last chance. After this there is no turning back. You take the blue pill, the story ends. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.... Remember, all I'm offering is the truth, nothing more....
Er-no: I’d like the blue pill please.
Meka: Surely you mean the red?
Er-no: Nope, the blue.
Meka: Don’t you want to see how deep the rabbit hole goes?
Er-no: Not really, requires too much effort. I’d rather play Max Payne on the PC.
Meka: But if you take the red pill you can go into bullet time like Max Payne.
Er-no: Mm.. sounds fun, but can I really be bothered?
Meka shoves the red pill down Er-no’s throat.
Meka: Ailboy, are we online?
Ailboy: Almost.
Meka: Time is always against us. Please, take a seat there.

~Scene 9
Er-no wakes up in a spaceship.
Er-no: What the?
Meka: Welcome to the real world.
Er-no: I’m bloody confused!!
Meka: This is what the real world is.
Er-no: My muscles… I can’t feel them! And it’s worse than the muscle cramp I get after sleeping the night on my keyboard! And my eyes!! I can’t see!!!!!! Even worse than when I’ve been staring at a computer screen for a whole night.
Meka: Yes, you have never used any of those things before Er-no. The answers are coming.
Er-no: What is this place? What’s happened to me?
Meka: More important is when.
Er-no: When?]
Meka: You believe the latest Window’s version is actually Windows XP, however it’s more close to Windows 3000XP2k.
Er-no: Microsoft are still around!?!?
Meka: Sadly yes. This is my ship, the Nebuchadnezzer.
Er-no: Pardon me?
Meka: The Nebuchadnezzer. It’s a hovercraft.
Er-no: Mind if I call it the ship?
Meka: If you must. This is the main deck, where we broadcast our pirate signal and hack into the Magrix. Most of the crew you know already. Those people there. This person is Goatboy, this Turbonutter, Stryke, Rastabillyskank, he’s Ailboy and that is Dan2k.
Er-no: I can’t see who you are pointing to! I’m blind remember!
Meka: We are geeks, like yourself, fighting to free humanity from the Magrix.
Er-no: Meka…. out of interest.
Meka: Yes?
Er-no: What would have happened if I took the blue pill?
Meka: Well, it was a suicide tablet. You see, if you’re not going to help us, you might as well die to be honest.
Er-no: Fair enough. So basically you won either way?
Meka: Yep.

~Scene 10
Er-no: Oh no! I forgot my toothbrush! I can't go back, can I?
Meka: No. But if you could, would you really want to?
Er-no: Yeh! Screw personal hygiene! I’ve been doing it for years anyway!
Meka: I feel I owe you an apology. We have a rule. We never free a mind once it's reached a certain age. It's dangerous, the mind has trouble letting go. I've seen it before and I'm sorry. I did what I did because...I had to. When the Magrix was first built, there was a man born inside who had the ability to change whatever he wanted, to remake the Magrix as he saw fit. It was he who freed the first of us, taught us the truth. As long as the Magrix exists the human race will never be free. After he died the Oracle prophesied his return and that his coming would hail the destruction of the Magrix and the war, bring freedom to our people. That is why there are those of us who have spent our entire lives searching the Magrix looking for him. I did what I did because I believe that search is over.... Get some rest, you're going to need it.
Er-no: For what?
Meka: Your training.

Rastabillyskank: Morning, did you sleep?
Er-no: No, was up all night drugged on caffeine.
Rastabillyskank: You will tonight, I guarantee it. I'm Rastabillyskank, I'll be your operator.
Er-no: You better be a good one.
Rasta: I got to tell you, I'm fairly excited to see what you're capable of, if Meka is right and all...I'm not supposed to talk about this, but if you are...a very exciting time. We got a lot to do. We got to get to it.... Now, we're supposed to start with these operation programs first, that's a major boring. Let's do something more fun. How about some training.
Er-no: Origami? I'm going to learn Origami?...
Rasta: Hey… I think he likes it. How about some more?
Er-no: Hell yes. Hell yeah.

Meka: How is he?
Rasta: Ten hours straight. He's a machine.

Er-no: I can pull hair…
Rasta: Show me.

~Scene 11
Meka: This is a hair pulling program, similar to the programmed reality of the Magrix. It has the same basic rules, rules like gravity. What you must learn is that these rules are no different that the rules of a computer system.
Er-no: They can be hacked.
Meka: Yes. Some of them can be bent. Others can be broken. Understand? Then pull my hair if you can...
Er-no grabs Meka’s hair and pulls. Meka screams. Meka punches him in the stomach. Er-no is thrown back.
Meka: Good. Adaptation, improvisation. But your weakness is not your technique.
Er-no lunges at Meka, and punches him in the arm.
Meka: Ow! My arm!
Meka punches Er-no in the arm back.
Er-no: Ow!!

(Inside the Nebuchadnezzar)
Dan2k: Meka is fighting Er-no!!!!
The crew run to watch, meanwhile Meka continually punches Er-no only to be punched back just as rapid. Meka finally kicks him into a wall.
Meka: How did I beat you?
Er-no: You cheat.
Meka: Yesssss. Do you think my cheating has anything to do with my muscles in this place?
Er-no is breathing heavily. Er-no: Yes.
Meka: You think that’s air you’re breathing? Hum?
Er-no: Still polluted hey?
Er-no jumps up.
Meka: Again.
Er-no continually punches Meka. Meka reacts lightning fast blocking every single blow.
Dan2k: Wow he’s fast. Take a look at his neural-kinetics! They are way above normal.
The crew all laugh/snort at the same time.
Goatboy: That’s amazing. He’s 0wing him and his llamas!
Dan2k: Yeh!
Meka knocks Er-no to the floor. Er-no grabs a chair from the side of the gym.
Er-no: I’ll kill you!
Er-no hits Meka with the chair knocking him to the floor. He then proceeds by jumping on top of Meka and punching him in the face.
Er-no: Can you smmmmmellllll what Er-no is cooking?
Dan2k: Wow! This guy can wrestle!
Rasta: Between you and me… I heard wrestling wasn’t real.
Dan2k: Yeh right!
The crew all laugh and snort at the same time in amusement.
Meka kicks Er-no in the privates, grabs the chair and smashes it over his head. Er-no collapses to the floor.
Er-no: Ok! You win!
Meka: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? YOU’RE FASTER THAN THIS! DON’T THINK YOU ARE! KNOW YOU ARE! (Meka hits Er-no really hard in the head). COME ON
Er-no: Please don’t shout at me Mr. Meka!
Meka: Rasta, load the jump program.
The backdrop suddenly changes to a tall building.
Meka: Jump.
Er-no: I’m not committing suicide! What is your obsession with suicide?
Meka: No Er-no. I want you to jump to that building all the way over there. Free your mind.
Er-no: Okie doke. Free my mind..

(Back on the ship)
Dan2k: So what if he makes it?
Stryke: No one’s ever made their first jump.
Dan2k: But what if he does.
Ailboy: He won’t.
Dan2k: Come on.
Mystique: Come on.
Er-no begins to run. As he reaches the end of the building he slips on a banana skin and falls from the building.
Er-no: Oh great…..
Ailboy: Everyone trips on the banana skin on their first jump..

(Back in the ship)
Stryke: What does that mean?
Turbonutter: It doesn’t mean anything. It just means he’s prone to accidents like all us other geeks.
Goatboy: Everybody falls the first time. Right Mystique?
Er-no stirs from the virtual reality head set. He touches his mouth noticing blood.
Er-no: I thought it wasn’t real?
Meka: Your mind makes it real.
Er-no: If you are killed in the Magrix do you die here?
Meka: Yes. The body cannot live without the mind..

~Scene 12
Meka: Ok time to try the real world..
Meka and Er-no appear in the real world. They are walking down a street/
Meka: The Magrix is a system Er-no and that system is our enemy. What do you see? Business men, teachers, lawyer, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save.
Er-no observes a poster in the window “256mb ram for £2”
Meka: Were you listening to me Er-no or were you looking at the cheap RAM in the window for geeks?
Er-no: I was..
Meka: Look again.
Er-no turns to see the poster has been changed to £300 and that an agent is pointing a gun from inside it.
Meka: Freeze it.
Er-no: This isn’t the Magrix is it?
Meka: No. It’s a training program to teach you one thing. If you are not a geek you are one of them.
Er-no: What are they?
Meka: Special Reserve Staff Agent. They can move in and out of any software still hardwired to their system. That means, anyone in the Magrix is potentially a SR Agent. Inside the Magrix they are everyone. We only survive by running from them. They guard all the doors, they hold all the keys. Sooner or later, they are going to get in their way and someone will have to fight them.
Er-no: Someone?
Meka: I won’t lie to you. Everyone who has fought an agent has died. Where they have failed however you will succeed.
Er-no: Why?
Meka: I have seen an agent punch through an entire wall, I have seen men empty entire staple guns at them and hit nothing but walls. Yet their strength and speed are still based in a world that is built on rules. Because of that they can never be as strong or fast as you.
Er-no: Why can’t you be stronger and faster than them?
Meka: Because to be honest, I cannot be bothered.
Er-no: So what you are saying is that I can dodge staples?
Meka: No Er-no. When you are ready you won’t have to.

~Scene 13
In a restaurant
Agent Tony: Do we have a deal Mr. Goatboy?
Goatboy: So let me get this straight. In exchange for me getting the codes to the Zion mainframe for you, you reinsert me into the Magrix, give me a life of luxury, where I am a rich and important person, with a big house and a beautiful family?
Tony: Who also works with computers.
Goatboy: Well of course we have a deal! I’m not stupid.
Tony: There is one slight problem with this deal…
Goatboy: What?
Tony: You will have to look like and be…
Goatboy: Yes?
Tony: Bill Gates.
Goatboy (looking to the ceiling in the restaurant): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Tony: (Quickly) It’s nothing plastic surgery can’t help… and we will throw in two gameadays.
Goatboy: Three.
Tony: Okay three gameadays..
Goatboy: But I don’t know the codes to the Zion mainframe. Only one person does and his name is….
Tony (taking his sunglasses off): Meka.

~Scene 14
Er-no wakes up on his computer keyboard. He looks around seeing his fellow crew all slumped over their computers. Goatboy has Dark Ages of Camelot playing on his screen. The message please do not idle flashes at the top. Only Meka is awake.
Er-no: Ergg.
Meka: Good morning. How did you sleep?
Er-no: Got two hours. Pretty good for me, it’s usually 10 minutes.
Meka taps Rastabillyskank on the shoulder. Rasta jumps alive and begins to tap on his computer. Suddenly at the sound of tapping, the whole room jumps alive and only the sound of tapping can be heard.
Meka sits on his computer and begins to tap. Er-no looks over his shoulder. Meka taps in a message “Rasta when you’re done bring the ship up to broadcast depth. We’re going in. Taking Er-no to see her.” The message disappears. A few seconds later a response appears “Rastabillyskank: No problem”.
Er-no: Couldn’t you have told Rasta that?
Meka: Don’t be silly. We’re geeks!
Er-no: Who we going to see?
Rasta turns around from his computer.
Rasta: Ant. The guy knows everything about pretty much anything. He can predict stuff right before it happens. He’s going to help you.
Er-no: Did he help you?
Rasta: Yes. He told me one Saturdays lottery numbers.
Er-no: Were they right?
Rasta: I won a million. And spent it all on computer equipment.
Er-no: Oh.. cool.
Rasta: Now everyone, get in position I’m sending you all in!

~Scene 15
The group appear in a lobby by a phone.
They all follow Meka downstairs. Meka leads Er-no and Mystique into a car outside.
Er-no: Where did this come from?
Meka: No questions. Must speak to Ant.
Meka leads them into a flat.
Er-no: Ant lives in a flat?
Meka: He’s all wise and all knowing.
Meka takes Er-no through into the flat.
Meka: I’ll be outside.
Some random person: Hello Er-no, you are right on time. These are the other potentials, you can wait here.
Er-no sits down. He looks around him. He notices a small child with a spoon that he is bending with his fingers.
Darkness: Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.
Er-no: What on Earth are you on about? That’s not impressive you are bending it with your hands!
Darkness: Am not!
Er-no: And why are you trying to sound all intellectual you stupid boy?
Darkness: Go on then I’d like to see you do better!
Darkness sticks the spoon in his pocket and gives Er-no another spoon.
Er-no: Cheater! This one is unbendable. Gimme that spoon you little cheater!
Er-no grabs the spoon from Darkness’ pocket. As he touches it he realises it is made of rubber.
Er-no: Rubber?? You little cheater!
Er-no goes to punch him.
Random person: Ant will see you now.

~Scene 16
Ant: I know you’re Er-no. Be right with you.
Ant walks over to his Playstation 2 and saves his game of Metal Gear Solid 2. He turns it off.
Er-no: You’re Ant?
Ant: Not quite what you were expecting right?
Er-no: Yeh.. I was expecting someone a bit older.
Ant: I’d ask you to sit down but I know you’re not going to. Oh, and you owe me forty quid.
Er-no: For what?
Er-no suddenly hears a snapping sound.
Ant: For breaking my copy of Grand Theft Auto 3.
Er-no: It only costs thirty three pounds!!
Ant: Gimme you’re wallet if you want to have you future told.
Er-no: Fine..
Er-no hands him the wallet.
Ant: Erm... lemme look. Do you think you are the one?
Er-no: I dunno.
Ant: You know what I’m going to tell you though yes?
Er-no: I’m not the one.
Ant: Nope, now go away, I’ve still got to get 100% on Metal Gear Solid 2!
Ant walks back to his Playstation 2 and switches on it.
Er-no: (laughs) Meka almost had be convinced.
Ant: Yeh whatever. We’re sadly gonna be lost without good old Meka.
Er-no: Without him?
Ant: Yeh, he’s going to get captured by agents on the way home.
Er-no: Huh?!
Ant: Yeh, I know bad hey. You could try saving him if you wanted but either way one of you will die.
Er-no: You sure?
Ant: Yeh, I’ll kill you if you don’t leave me house asap!
Ant loads up a shotgun and points it at Er-no. Er-no runs out of the flat.
Outside….
Meka: What for said was for you and you alone.

~Scene 17
Inside the ship
Rasta: Ready to go?

Inside the hotel. A monkey randomly runs past the door, humps the doorframe then disappears. Then a very similar monkey runs past the door, again humps the doorframe then disappears.
Er-no: Woah, déjà vu.
The group suddenly turn around.
Mystique: What did you say?
Er-no: Nothing just had some déjà vu.
Mystique: What did you see?
Er-no: A monkey humping a door. Then another monkey humping a door – it looked just like it.
Mystique: How much like it?
Er-no: What’s with the third degree?!!?
Mystique: It’s a glitch in the Magrix!

Inside the ship
Rasta: Oh my!! I deleted my saved game.. oh my!

Inside Hotel
Meka: Lets go!

Inside the ship
Rasta: They cut the hard line! It’s a trap!!!

Inside the hotel
Dan2k: Mm.. I’m sure there was a door there a minute ago..
Dan2k sees a group of agents ascending the stairs. Dan2k pulls out a ruler.
Dan2k: No!
Dan2k begins to flick pieces of paper with his ruler at the approaching agents. An agent pulls out a staple gun and fires staples at Dan2k. Dan2k falls to the floor in a pile of staples. He bleeds.

Inside the hotel
Goatboy: They got rid of the door. We’re trapped! No way out!
Meka: Be calm. Gimme your phone.
Mystique: They will be able to track it!
Meka: We have no choice.

(on cellular phone)
Rasta: Operator.
Meka: Rasta find out where some vent we can climb through is.
Rasta: Okey doke.

Inside the hotel
Agent Tony and Agent Snuggly together: Eighth floor.
Meka: Ok. Right you say?
Rasta: No left!
Meka: For goodness sake gimme decent directions!
Ailboy: Er-no I hope Ant gave you good news.
Er-no: Well actually he didn’t really…

(Cellular)
Rasta: Another left! That’s it..
Meka: About time!
Agent Snuggly: Where are they?
Police: In the walls.
They begin firing at the walls of the vent. Some bullets go straight through the wall.
Goatboy: It’s an agent!
Meka’s eyes go funny and he lunges through the wall. In front is Agent Tony, gun in hand.
Meka: Ow.. that really hurt!
Mystique: Meka!!!
Meka: You must get Er-no out. He’s all that matters!
Er-no: No! Don’t!
Meka: Mystique… GO!
Mystique: For goodness sake Er-no stop crying out for Meka and do what he tells you.
Er-no: We can’t leave him!
Mystique: yes we can! Now move before I kick you in the privates!

Agent Tony: The great geek Meka. We meet at last!
Meka: And you are?
Agent Tony: Tony… the guy who gives you gameadays.
Meka: You all look the same to me!
Meka and Agent Tony fight. Their punches are rapid. Tony finally punches Meka in the stomach sending him crashing into the wall. Plaster crumbles. He falls helplessly to the floor.
Agent Tony: Take him.

~Scene 18
Rasta: No!!!! I just got killed on this online game! Oh.. No! Meka’s been captured! Damn lag..
Rasta’s phone rings.
Rasta: Operator.
Goatboy: I need an exit fast!
Rasta: Goatboy?
Goatboy: Yeh accident. Now I need to come and kill you from inside, and unplug everyone and disrupt your operation. Betray you if you like.
Rasta: Fair enough.
Rasta gives Goatboy directions to a phone.
Goatboy: Right.

The phone rings again.
Mystique: Rasta it’s me!
Er-no: Is Meka alive Rasta?
Rasta: I dunno.. it’s too laggy today. I think he is.
Mystique: We need an exit.
Rasta: You are not far from Goatboy..
Mystique: Goatboy?
Rasta: I know.
Rasta directs them to the same phone.

The group get to the phone.
Mystique: You first Er-no.

Inside the ship
Goatboy: Bye bye!
Goatboy shoots Turbonutter with an electromagnetic pulse gun.
Goatboy: Mm.. I wonder why we use stationary in the Magrix and not this…
He shoots Rasta.
Rasta: ahh!

By the phone
Er-no: It just went dead…
Mystiques mobile rings.
Er-no: You know.. you could get cancer from using that thing too much...
Mystique: Goatboy? Where’s Rasta?
Goatboy: You no Mystique, I always used to fancy you, since you were the only girl I knew in my very antisocial life. Too bad things had to turn out this way…
Mystique: You killed them!
Ailboy: What?
Strkye: Oh no!
Goatboy: You see, I’m tired of being a computer geek outside the Magrix when I can be one inside. I’m tired of this ship, not getting any of the action you know what I mean? I want to go back to a life of luxury that this ship can’t give you.
Mystique: You gave them Meka!
Goatboy: He lied to us Mystique. He tricked us. Remember? We got no choice with the pills! Death or a life outside the Magrix!
Mystique: He set us free..
Goatboy: Free? Whatever. Now.. let me wire Ailboy up to a standard modem, screw this broadband.

Ailboy: Mystique. (He looks to Mystique helplessly).
Stryke: No..
Goatboy: Enjoy the lag.
Ailboy goes into a spasm. He stops with one leg in the air and another hand forward.
Stryke: He’s lagging!!
Ailboy looks as if frozen. Stryke pokes him and he falls to the floor.

Mystique (Desperately): Wait! You can’t go back Goatboy!
Goatboy: Oh yes I can. My bodies going to be reinserted and I’ll be Bill Gates.
Mystique: Bill Gates? Think of all the hate mail you’re get!
Goatboy: It won’t matter I’ll have all the money I want!
Mystique: What about the hard job of completely ridding Windows of bugs!!
Goatboy: It’s work I’m willing to sacrifice my time too.. by the way, if you have anything terribly important to say to Stryke I’d say it now.
Mystique: Stryke I’m a newbie.
Stryke: Noo! Not like this not like this! Laggings a horrible way to…
Stryke suddenly rapidly moves to and fro. He seems to teleport around the room. He then suddenly freezes and disappears. A message “Stryke timed out” echoes around the room.
Goatboy: Too late.
Mystique: Goatboy you (Bleep)!!
Goatboy: Don’t hate me Mystique.. I’m just the messenger. Oh.. lets plug Er-no into the evil modem of doom shall we? MM.. how can he be the one if he is dead? If you really think he is the one tell me!
Mystique: I think he is the one..
Goatboy: Uh oh.. I don’t believe it.
Rasta: Believe it.. I’ve left my chair for the first time in two years and I’ve got a gun.
Rasta shoots Goatboy. He fries and falls to the floor.
Rasta: Ok.. lets get you back.
Er-no: You first Mystique..

Mystique respawns in the ship, Mystique notices Rastas severe injuries.
Mystique: You’re hurt!
Rasta: I’m okay… really I am.
Mystique: What about Turbonutter?
Rasta shakes his head.
Er-no suddenly respawns.

Er-no: Meka is he okay?
Rasta: Since you asked me last, I’ve tracked him. He’s alive, but they are cracking him like a code.

In an office..
Agent Tony: Never send a geek to do a man’s job.
Agent Snuggly: If indeed the insider has failed, they will lag Meka so badly he will seize to exist.
Agent Loki: Mm.. wanna go down the pub?
Agent Snuggly: Wait.. they may not kill Meka…. If the geeks are as stupid as I think.

Rasta: We have to kill him.
Mystique: We have no choice.
Rasta and Mystique go on computers and send one another the text “L”. They then stand up.
Rasta: Sorry Meka… you’re more then a leader to us.. you are like a father etc…
Rasta goes to unplug him.
Er-no: I don’t believe this! STOP!
Mystique: It’s the only way.
Er-no: No.. Ant. He told me I’d have to make a choice. We have to go back!
Mystique: Are you crazy? These are agents holding them. Big strong tough agents that are unstoppable. Nothing like this has ever been done before.
Er-no: That’s why it’s going to work. And I’m going to do it on my own if I have to.
Mystique: No your not. Meka means more to me then to you I’m sure!
Rasta: Ohh… Mystique and Meka sitting in a tree.. K . I . S...
Mystique: Shut up!
Er-no: Rasta, I’m going to do this.
Rasta: What you going to need?
Er-no: Stationary… lots of stationary.
Rasta: Won’t guns be better?
Er-no: Trust me, there’s no way I’d be able to smuggle the amount of weapons I want to carry into Britain if we have guns.
Rasta: Fine stationary it is… if you insist. Why do you always go for stationary?!!?

~Scene 19
Er-no and Mystique walk into a building with trenchcoats on,
Er-no: We look cool…
They enter through the front door, a metal detector is in front of them. Er-no walks through the right one. It beeps. A security guard gets off his chair and walks towards Er-no.
Man: Please remove any metallic items…
“Candle in the Wind” by Elton John begins to play…
Er-no: Is it me or does this music just seem so inappropriate to play alongside a gun battle?
Er-no pulls open his trenchcoat, revealing several staple guns, two hot glue guns, five blank compact CDs, five cans of coke, a soldering iron and a stapler.
Man: Oh geez!!!!! What’s with all the stationary???
Er-no pulls the two hot glue guns and fires at the man. Hot glue hits the man’s face. He falls to the floor screaming in agony. Er-no pulls a coke can out of his trenchcoat. He shakes it.
Man Two: It’s gonna blow!! BACKUP SEND BACKUP!
The coke can is thrown across the floor. The impact pierces it, and a jet of coke shoots out of it. The pressure causes the can to spin wildly on the floor.
Man Two: My crotch! It looks like I’ve peed myself! NOOO!
Mystique fires a hot glue at one other person. The man clutches his eyes and writhes in agony.
Suddenly armed troops appear from the left and right sides of the lift. They point guns at Er-no who has now been joined by Mystique.
Armed Troop 1: FFFFRRREEEEEEEZZZZZEEEEE!
Mystique runs to the left, and Er-no to the right. Er-no runs up a pillar, does a flip, lands on his feet, then does a cartwheel along the floor. He lands on his feet again, does a somersault in mid air and lands in a splits position. The armed troops drop their guns.
Armed Troop: That guys going to make a fine gymnast one day!
Er-no jumps out of his splits position launching a compact disk at the armed guards. The compact disk takes off a guy’s head. Three armed guards reveal cards with “10” on them. The other’s clap.
Armed Troop: Why are we clapping? He’s killed him!
The armed troops put their guns in their hands again. They start firing. Bullets bounce off the pillars of the lobby as they try to shoot Er-no doing gymnasts. Mystique does a cartwheel knocking a guard in the head. She hits the wall, runs around it. She does five circuits of the lobby.
A guard: Dizzy! My head! (The guards falls to the floor).
Er-no pulls out a staple gun and starts unloading staples at the guards. They collapse to the floor. He then grabs a sheet of paper and runs up to a guard and gives him a fatal paper cut.
One guard is left. The whole room is in tatters from bullets hitting the walls.
Er-no: You missed a spot. (He points at a pillar unscathed from the battle.)
The guard unloads the rest of his bullets into the pillar.
Guard: There you go. Now for you!
Guard points a gun at Er-no and fires as Er-no slowly walks to him. It clicks signalling there is no ammo. Er-no fires a staple into his groin.
Guard: ARRHHGGH!
Mystique and Er-no enter the lift. The room no longer looks pretty as it used to be. People are stapled to the floor and the walls and some guards lie on the floor in agony.

In the office
Agent Snuggly: What are you doing?
Agent Loki: He doesn’t know.
Agent Tony: Know what?
Agent Snuggly: The geeks are trying to save him…

Back in the lobby
Mystique plants some explosives in the lift. Her and Er-no then grab the lift cord as the lift crashes down below them. The room is engulfed in the explosion.
Er-no: what was the point in doing that?
Mystique: Dunno.. just kind of fitted the scene don’t you think?

~Scene 20
Agent Tony: Find and destroy them!

On the roof
Er-no and Mystique are flinging elastic bands at people knocking them to the floor.
A helicopter on the roof, has a pilot who is being bombarded with elastic bands.
Pilot: We’re under attack!
Suddenly the pilot goes into a spasm. He transforms into Agent Snuggly. Snuggly climbs out of the helicopter and walks over to Er-no. He pulls out a desert eagle and begins to fire at Er-no. Er-no goes into bullet time. Bullets whiz past him. He curves in and out of them again and again. Finally a bullet scrapes his leg. He falls to the floor. Snuggly walks over to him
Snuggly: (pointing a desert Eagle to Er-no’s head) Only a geek.
Mystique: (pointing a staple gun to Agent Snugglys head) Dodge this.
(Snuggly dodges the projectile staple despite there being only an inch between the gun and his head).
Mystique: Ok.. Best out of two.. Dodge this.
(Snuggly again miraculously dodges it.)
Er-no: That’s crazy.
Mystique: FOR GOODNESS SAKE DODGE THIS!
(Snuggly bends to his left dodging the staple again.)
Mystique: Grr! (Mystique rapidly fires lots of staples at Snuggly. He dodges them all.)
Mystique: Fine! Deny me the right to a cool line!
Mystique kicks Snuggly in the privates. Snuggly falls to the floor.
The body of Snuggly glows, electricity flicks off it. The dead body of a soldier replaces him.
Mystique: How did you do that?
Er-no: Do what?
Mystique: You moved like they do. I’ve never seen someone move so fast.
Er-no: I’ve got itchy privates.
Mystique: Oh.
Er-no: Wasn’t fast enough though was it? (He touches a wound in his leg). IT hurts!!
Mystique: Want a plaster?
Er-no: Please.
Mystique places a Disney plaster on the wound.
Mystique: There you go.
Er-no: Much better. Now can you drive that helicopter.
Mystique: Will in a min. Rasta I need to learn how to fly a helicopter.
Rasta: K..
Mystique: Ok.. lets move.

~Scene 21
Mystique is flying the helicopter.
Mystique: What does this button do?
Mystique presses the button. A missile flies out of the front and hits a building.
Mystique: Whoopsie…
Er-no: I think maybe we should ignore those buttons. How about I use the machine gun and do the firing.
Mystique: Fair enough.
Mystique hovers the helicopter in front of a glass window. Meka is inside. Er-no begins to fire, the window smashes.
In the next room:
Agent Loki looks to Agent Tony as the sounds of shattering glass fill the room.
Er-no’s bullets hit Meka
Er-no: Whoops.. Get up Meka.. get up!
Meka suddenly pulls apart his chains and runs towards the helicopter. Agent Loki turns the corner. He fires his desert eagle at Meka. He hits him in the foot as he begins his jump.
Er-no: He’s not going to make it!
Mystique: Shouldn’t you do something then?
Er-no: Fair enough.
Er-no jumps and catches Meka on a cord.
Mystique flies the helicopter and flicks the cord on to the top of a building. Er-no jumps down with Meka. Mystique then suddenly loses control.
Er-no: Now it’s my turn to show off.
Er-no grabs the cord and pulls. He drags the cord up. Meka is shocked by his strength. The end of the cord appears.. with no helicopter attached.
Er-no: Whoops
Mystique’s head appears from below. She has climbed up.
Er-no: Phew thought I’d killed you then.
Meka takes Mystiques mobile.
Meka: Rasta we need an exit
Rasta: Boy I’m glad to hear your voice again sir! Ok.. I got one lined up. It’s at Chelmsford train station.
Er-no: isn’t that a bit of a rough area at night?
Meka: No that’s Basildon.
Er-no: Basildon station?
Meka: No just Basildon.

~Scene 22
They are at a phone in Chelmsford station. Meka goes first back to the ship. Mystique follows. As she disappears there is a gun shot from Agent Tony. The gun breaks the receiver.


In the ship..
Mystique: Send me back! An agent!
Er-no turns around.
Meka: He’s going to fight!
Rasta: Cool.. I’ll get the popcorn.
Er-no pulls out his staple gun. The two duel. Bullets/staples whiz past one another as they run towards each other. Finally they fall to the floor. Er-no and Tony both have guns to one another’s heads.
Tony: You’re out of staples.
Er-no: No I’m not..
Er-no fires the staple.
Tony: Owchhhh!
Tony jumps up and kicks Er-no into a train platform.
Ticket Collector: Tickets please…
Tony: Not now..
Ticket Collector: I’m sorry.. I’m going to need to see some tickets or I’m going to have to fine you.
Tony: Not now..
Ticket Collector: Dodging fares is a terrible crime.
Tony: Dodge this!
Tony fires a bullet and hits the ticket collector in the stomach.
Er-no: Yeh! No one likes ticket collectors. (The sound of a train can be heard) Train!
Tony: I’m going to enjoy watching you die.. Bob.
Er-no: My name… is… mm what is my name?
Er-no jumps up. Tony is hit by the oncoming train.
Er-no begins to run as Agent Loki appears off the train. He grabs his cellular.
Er-no: I need an exit.
Rasta: Ok.. just across the road, smash the window of Domino’s pizza and use their phone.
Er-no: That’s too far away!!! I’m too geeky to run that far! I don’t like exercise!
Rasta: It’s only across the blooming road!
Er-no runs over there. He turns the corner to grab the phone. He is shot at point blank range by Loki. He falls to the floor with a thud.
Loki kneels down beside him and checks his pulse.
Loki nods towards the other agents.

Back in the ship
Meka: No… he’s the one. This can’t happen.

Back in Dominos Pizza
Loki: That’s another geek sorted. Want to go down to the pub now?
Agent Tony: Sounds good to me.
Agent Snuggly: As long as I don’t end up paying for all the rounds again!
They begin to walk away.
Er-no suddenly stirs.
Agent Tony: Huh?
The three agents begin to open fire at Er-no.
The bullets stop right in front of him.
Agent Snuggly: He’s using cheats!!!
Agent Loki: I thought this was a cheat free server?
Agent Tony runs at him. Er-no looks like he is on drugs.
Er-no jumps at Tony and appears to disappear inside him.
Agent Tony: Mm… something just went inside me.
Agent Tony suddenly explodes. Snuggly and Loki look at one another and run.
Agent Snuggly: Er… To the pub!!

In the ship
Rasta: How?
Meka: He’s the one..
Mystique: Er-no!
Er-no grabs the phone. He is whisked back outside the Magrix.

~Scene 23

Er-no is standing in a street
Er-no voiceover: I know you’re out there Magrix - Grix’s brain. I can feel you know. I know you’re afraid. You’re afraid of us – the geeks. You’re afraid of change. I don’t know the future and I didn’t come to tell you how this is going to end, but I’m pretty sure the good guys are going to win and your going to lose. Ner ner ner nerrrrrr ner. I’m going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. A world without you. So ner… Cool I sounded really hard then..
Music starts to play
RM18: Hi guys I’m here for the spoof!! (Pauses and looks around as the camera begins to zoom out from him). No!! Don’t go camera! NOOO! I WANT TO BE IN A SPOOF!!!!!!
Credits Roll..

~Scene 1
Goatboy: Yeh
Mystique: Is everything in place
Goatboy: You aren’t suppose to relieve me
Mystique: I know but I felt like taking a shift
Goatboy: You like him don’t u – you like laughing at him
Mystique: Don’t be ridiculous
Goatboy: We are gonna kill him you understand that?
Mystique: MEKA BELIEVES HE IS THE ONE.
Goatboy: Do you?
Mystique: It doesn’t matter what I believe
Goatboy: You don’t do you?
Mystique: Did you hear that?
Goatboy: Yeh what?
Mystique: Are you sure this line is clean?
Goatboy: Well… actually… I spilt my dinner on it and my shirt while playing on the computer. You know how it is, with the food on your lap, whilst trying to play a computer game… you know.
Mystique: No.. I mean are you sure this line is bug free.
Goatboy: Yeah of course I’m sure..
Mystique: I better go

“Dodgey green stuff ie. Number etcs.. you’ve seen the film you know what I mean”

~Scene 2
Searchlights outside the Basildon Special Reserve shop which Mystique has broken into to use their high speed internet connection because her ADSL is down:
A group of armed policemen are outside, holding their guns to a door
The door is kicked down – Mystique is on a computer playing an online game

Hybrid: FREEZE POLICE! Put your hands over your head! – DO IT NOW!

Outside… Three men in sunglasses and black suits are getting out of their car and walking towards the building! The agents are Tony, Snuggly and Loki.
Tony: Work experience boy…
Work Experience Boy: Oh damn…
Tony: Work Experience Boy you were given specific orders
Work Experience Boy: Hey I’m just doing my job… I’m only meant to make the tea, but when she broke in, I had to call in the police for goodness sake!
Tony: The orders were for your protection…
Work Experience Boy: Ha ha! I think we can handle one little geek.. (Calling) I asked for two units! They are bringing her down now!
Tony: (quietly without turning round to the boy) No Work Experience Boy those men are already dead..

Hybrid Valves approaches Mystique. Suddenly, Mystique swings around and hits him on the head with her keyboard. She jumps in air – the camera spins around her. She kicks Hybrid Valves, the force knocks her back flying. Mystique kicks her chair (Hiay!). The chair sails through the air and makes contact with one of Hybrid’s men, knocking them to the floor. A third armed policeman gasps and shoots at her. Mystique runs up a wall and along it, evading many bullets from the gun of the policeman.. Mystique jumps off the wall and grabs the policeman. She grabs his gun and fires at another unit. She kicks the soldier off herself.
Mystique: Oh damn.
Men begin to enter room. Mystique pulls out a mobile phone.
Mystique: (in an excited girl way) Oh, text message!!
Mystique reads the text message.
Mystique: That is sooooo true! (she laughs at the message). Oh yeh, I’m suppose to be getting out of here.
Mystique: Meka the line was traced I don’t know how
Meka: I know... they must have bribed BT, and got them to cut the hardline.
Mystique: Or maybe BT’s messed up again?
Meka: Yes maybe… but there’s no time you are going to have to get to another exit.
Mystique: Are there any agents??
Meka: Yes.
Mystique: Oh great... being on that computer so long has stopped the circulation to my legs.
Meka: You have to focus Mystique – you’ve been playing online games all night with only caffeine to keep you going. There is a phone just outside the shop. You can make it.
Mystique (breaths): Alright.
Mystique: Oww stitch!!
Tony is now on the roof with the policemen. Agent jumps over to the restaurant roof himself. The policemen also jump struggling to make it, Tony however makes it with ease. Tony begins to chase Mystique who is now on the roof of the UCI cinema. Tony stops and fires at Mystique who then jumps all the way to the Hollywood Bowl roof. She rolls into a standing position again. She then hides. Tony scans the area for her. Mystique then runs as fast as he can and glides all the way to the floor, she hits the floor and rolls. She stops, pointing two pistols to the roof. She waits. No agent is visible.
Mystique (to herself): get up Mystique… you need to get back on the internet. I’m doing physical activities… no geek can do that without going on the computer in between… Just get up. Get up!
She jumps up and runs towards the phone box. The special reserve car which is positioned outside the Basildon shop, is being revved up by a driver. Mystique stops and looks at it right in front of the phone she needs to get to. It is ringing inside. The car revs it’s engine once more. Mystique runs. The car begins to move. The driver laughs. Mystique wounded grabs the receiver.
Mystique: Hello?
Voice: Er did you just call me?
Mystique: No!
Mystique slams the phone down, it rings again. She grabs it. The car is now right in front of the phone box. She raises his hand.
The car ploughs into the phone box which shatters, debris crashes to the ground into a pile of rubble. It reverses away from the rubble. Tony looks at the wreckage. Loki follows.
Loki: He got out.
Tony: It doesn’t matter.
(Snuggly walks up on their right.)
Loki: The informant is real.
Tony: It appears so.
Snuggly: We have the name of their next target.
Loki: The name is Er-no.
Tony: We need a search running.
Loki: It has already begun.

~Scene 3
We enter the receiver. Searching… (Er-no’s bedroom) he is surfing the internet, looking at some “interesting” websites on his PC. A message appears on the computer..
“Stop looking at porn Er-no”
Er-no stirs and looks up.
“The MaGrix has you…”
Er-no: Huh?
Er-no taps alt ctrl delete. Nothing happens.
Er-no: Damn unstable windows millennium!
The message: “Follow the mars bar Er-no”
Er-no: mmm.. food
Message: Knock knock Er-no.
(There is a knock at the door)
Er-no takes a few minutes to react.
There is another knock.
Er-no: Who is it?
CDouch: ITS ME CDouch!
Er-no opens door.
Er-no: (looks at watch) You are two hours late.
CDouch: I know.. It’s her fault! That stupid woman (points to his mum)
Er-no: You got the money?
CDouch: yep.
(He hands a five pound note to Er-no)
Er-no: Hold on.
He gets a copied cd from a book. The cd reads “Barbie Shelly Club for the PS1”. He hands it to CDouch.
CDouch: Great! You are my saviour.
Er-no: You know if you get caught using that..
CDouch: I know I get bullied by classmates.. this never happened. You don’t exist.
Er-no: Right
CDouch: Something wrong man? You look a little whiter than usual..
Er-no: my.. computer.. it (laughs) ever had that feeling when you are not quite sure you are awake or dreaming?
CDouch: Yeh all the time…. Usually it’s the bit when I suddenly realise I have no clothes on that I realise I’m dreaming. Hey man this sounds to me like you need to unplug. (to friends) do you think we should take him with us to Mega Zone? (There are some little kids about 10 years old waiting to go.)
Kid1: Definitely.
Er-no: Don’t you guys like do normal stuff for people our age - like paintball?
CDouch: (laughs) Paintballs hurt, laser games are more fun.
Kid1: Go on it will be fun! Promise! (He pulls out a Mars Bar – Er-no notices. His salivary glands kick into action)
Er-no: Yeh.. sure. I’ll go. (He grabs the kid, punches him in the stomach and grabs his chocolate bar and eats it in one go. The little kid starts crying and runs off. Er-no looks back to computer)
Message on computer: For goodness sake don’t eat it! Just follow them!

~Scene 4
< Inside “Megazone”, the laser game designed for small children’s birthday parties – ‘cool’ (cough) music playing>
CDouch is shooting some little kids giggling enjoying himself. Mystique walks up to Er-no who is hiding from the little kids.
Mystique: Hello Er-no.
Er-no: How do you know my name?
Mystique: Er… you’ve got a name tag on your shirt. It says “Er-no : Party Guest”
Er-no: Oh.. who are you?
Mystique: Mystique
Er-no: Mystique. Theee Mystique? That hacked the gameaday system and got away with fifty games?
Mystique: That was a long time ago.
Er-no: Woah..
Mystique: What?
Er-no: I just thought… you… you were… a bloke.
Mystique: Most guys do… at first
Er-no: My computer… How did you do that?
Mystique: Right now all I can tell you is you are in danger.. I brought you hear to warn you.
Er-no: What?
Mystique: They are watching you Er-no…
(Suddenly Er-no’s Megazone pack rumbles. He falls on the floor in a spasm screaming in pain. Some little kids giggle).
Er-no: Them?
Mystique: Not them.. others..
Er-no: Who is?
Mystique: Please just listen.
Mystique (whispering in Erno’s ear): I know why you are here Er-no.. I know what you have been doing. (Er-no’s face turns pale in fear) I know why you hardly sleep.. why you live alone and night after night you sit at your Playstation. You have no proper social life, you spend far too much time on certain sites and you are looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing.. well apart from the videos.. and when he found me, I wasn’t really looking for him. – I was looking for an answer. It’s the question that drives us Er-no. It’s the question that brought you hear. You know the question just as I did.
Er-no: What is the MaGrix?
Mystique: The answer is out there Er-no. It’s looking for you and will find you. If you want it to.

~Scene 5
Next morning.. alarm clock goes
Er-no: Oh no no no!!
Some window cleaners are cleaning Er-no’s school windows
Headmaster: You have a problem with authority Mr. Er-no. You believe that you are special. The rules do not apply to you.… obviously you are mistaken. (Er-no’s hangs head in shame) This school is one of the top schools in the country because every single student understands that learning is the key to good grades and learning requires making lessons regularly. The time has come Mr. Er-no to make a choice. Either make it to school on time or choose to find yourself expelled.
Er-no: Huh??? But…
Headmaster: Do I make myself clear?
Er-no: Yes sir sorry sir.

~Scene 6 (Right in the middle of a lesson)
Office Lady: Er-no?
Er-no: Yes that’s me..
Office Lady: A note.. please sign here.
Er-no signs on a note from the office. Along with the note is a parcel.
Teacher: Now on with the lesson..
Er-no opens parcel. There is a Nokia 3310. It rings silently as soon as he touches it.
Phone: Hello cool funkster do you know who this is?
Er-no (whispering): Meka Dragon?
Teacher: Shh, can you put that phone away please?
Meka: yeeeeeesssss. They are looking for you Er-no. I don’t know whether you are ready for the things I must show you. We have run out of time though. They are coming Er-no – and I don’t know what they are going to do.
Er-no: Who’s coming for me?
Teacher: Er-no, I’ll ask you again please put the phone down.
Meka: Stand up and see for yourself..
Er-no: Right now?
Meka: Yes.. right now. Do it slowly.
Er-no stands up
Teacher: Er-no please sit down.
Er-no walks over to the door.
Meka: The elevator.
Er-no leaves the class room and goes into the corridor, hiding behind an ajar door.
Teacher (calling): Come back this instant!
Er-no sees Tony, Snuggly and Loki as the elevator doors open.
Er-no: OH (Er-no swears).
Meka: yesssssssssssss
They are getting closer.
Er-no: What the hell do they want with me?
Er-no walks over to the door and looks through the window.
Meka: I don’t know. But if you don’t want to find out I suggest you get out of there.
Er-no: How?
Meka: I can guide you but you must do exactly as I say.
Er-no: Okay.
Meka: Put your fingers in your ears and say “I’m gay”
Er-no: No!
Meka: Oh.. alright then, ok. There’s an empty classroom across from you.
Er-no: What if they..
Meka: Go now! Now stay there for a minute. When I tell you, go out the other door, and you up the stairs. Stay as low as you can.
Er-no: Can’t I just fight them?
Meka: No, you’re not trained yet.
Er-no: What about bullet time? I could use that too my advantage.
Meka: No, you can’t do that either. Now go for goodness sake! Up the stairs!
Er-no gets to the top of the stairs.
Meka: Good, now on your right is a teacher’s office with an open window.
Er-no: How do you know all this?
Meka: I don’t I’m guessing.
Er-no: Pretty good…
Er-no runs into the room.
Meka: Now jump out that window and commit suicide!!
Er-no: That’s not a solution! I thought you were saving me from them!
Meka: Suicide is the only option here!
Er-no: Surely there is another one?
Meka: Nope.
Er-no: Forget this, let them get me. I’m too young to die.

~Scene 7
Er-no is led out by the three agents and is placed in an interrogation room. Agent Tony is interrogating him.
Agent Tony: As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr… what’s your name again?
Er-no: Er-no.
Agent Tony: No your real name…
Er-no: Er….
Agent Tony: No!
Er-no: Yep, Er-no
Agent Tony: No I mean what’s your name. Not Er-no your real name.
Er-no: No idea to be honest.
Agent Tony: Ok, I’ll just call you Bob.
Er-no: Fair enough.
Agent Tony: It seems that you've been living two lives. In one life, you are Bob, a student in a nearby comprehensive school and you look at rude material in the toilets. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias Er-no..
Er-no: I go by that in real life too…
Agent Tony: Silence. You are guilty of virtually every chat forum crime we have a law for. Spamming, blatant gameaday attempts, abuse of other members, reporting posts in the hope of getting Gameaday attempts voided, upping your ratings for your own walkthroughs on the rating system, reviewing all games 10/10 despite some of them being rubbish, sucking up to Special Reserve staff in the customer service forum, copying cheats from other sites, claiming that you can get certain cheats by tapping a single key over a hundred times in hope of winning a game, abusing newbies… and the list goes on.
Er-no: ALL LIES!
Agent Tony: Then how can you explain this review score from last year?
(Tony reveals a print off of the special reserve site).
Tony: 100% for Superman on the N64? And it’s not an accidental “I forgot to give a review score” case as you quite clearly at the bottom of you review and I quote have said “This is one amazing game, surely this is the best game ever made. Well worth the forty quid and easily the best game ever made. I’d give this 100%.”
Er-no goes quiet.
Er-no: It was a typo..
Agent Tony: We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual, a man who calls himself Meka. Now whatever you think you know about this man is irrelevant. He is considered by many authorities to be the most dangerous man alive. My colleagues believe that I am wasting my time with you but I believe that you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start and all that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice.
Er-no: Er…. No.
Agent Tony: Um, Bob. You disappoint me.
Er-no: You can't scare me!
Agent Tony: I think I can.
(Tony disappears into a room, he comes out with a laptop computer. He then smashes it on the floor).
Er-no: NOOOOO!

~Scene 8
(Er-no’s apartment, Er-no wakes up in a hot sweat)
Er-no: Only a dream… it’s okay, it was only a dream. No laptop got smashed.. phew. (The phone rings.)
Meka: This line is tapped, so I must be brief. They got to you first, but they've underestimated how important you are. If they knew what I know, you'd probably be dead.
Er-no: What are you talking about. What...what is happening to me?
Meka: You are the one, Er-no. You see you may have spent the last few years looking for me, but I've spent my entire life looking for you. Now do you still want to meet?
Er-no: Sounds good to me.
(Meka gives directions to a bridge nearby.)

(Car)
Mystique: Get in.

Mystique: Now.. relax we think you’ve been bugged.
Mystique grabs a floppy disk drive and shoves into Er-no’s mouth.
Mystique starts tapping on Er-no’s stomach.
Mystique: He’s got a CIH virus….
Er-no: (with floppy in mouth mumbles) Huh??! I thought you could only get that on PCs.
Mystique: Hold still you’ve been bugged. This floppy has McAfee Anti-virus software on it. It will make you clean in seconds.
Er-no (mumbling): Is it the latest update?
Mystique: Don’t be ridiculous. No antivirus is completely up to date. Now hold still. I’m going to rid you of the bug.
Er-no goes into a spasm.
Mystique: Clean..
(The car drives to a hotel.)
Mystique: Some advice – be honest. He knows more than you can imagine. He’s a stalker.

Meka: At last. Welcome, Er-no. As you no doubt have guessed, I am Meka.
Er-no: It's an honour to meet you.
Meka: No, the honour is mine. Please, come. Sit down. I imagine that right now you're feeling a bit like Alice, tumbling down the rabbit hole? Hm?
Er-no: You calling me a girl!?!?
Meka: I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Er-no?
Er-no: I really have no idea what you are talking about.
Meka: I know you feel there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is but it's there, like a splinter in your mind driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Er-no: The Magrix.
Meka: Do you want to know what IT is?
Er-no: It’s a subject at school. You use computers.
Meka: The Magrix is everywhere. It is all around us, even now in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to church, when you pay your taxes.
Er-no: Taxes? I’m 16ish.
Meka: It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
Er-no: What truth?
Meka: That you are a slave, Er-no. Like everyone else you were born into bondage. Born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison for your mind.... a computer program’s brain designed to look exactly like the world you know, concealing you from the truth. A program known as Grix Thraves. His brain is the world we live in. But unfortunately, no one can be told what the Magrix is. You have to see it for yourself.
Er-no: Er, but you just told me the Magrix was a computer program.
Meka: Yes, but… you have to see it for yourself.
Er-no: Not really, it’s quite clear to me now.
Meka: Oh whatever! This is your last chance. After this there is no turning back. You take the blue pill, the story ends. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.... Remember, all I'm offering is the truth, nothing more....
Er-no: I’d like the blue pill please.
Meka: Surely you mean the red?
Er-no: Nope, the blue.
Meka: Don’t you want to see how deep the rabbit hole goes?
Er-no: Not really, requires too much effort. I’d rather play Max Payne on the PC.
Meka: But if you take the red pill you can go into bullet time like Max Payne.
Er-no: Mm.. sounds fun, but can I really be bothered?
Meka shoves the red pill down Er-no’s throat.
Meka: Ailboy, are we online?
Ailboy: Almost.
Meka: Time is always against us. Please, take a seat there.

~Scene 9
Er-no wakes up in a spaceship.
Er-no: What the?
Meka: Welcome to the real world.
Er-no: I’m bloody confused!!
Meka: This is what the real world is.
Er-no: My muscles… I can’t feel them! And it’s worse than the muscle cramp I get after sleeping the night on my keyboard! And my eyes!! I can’t see!!!!!! Even worse than when I’ve been staring at a computer screen for a whole night.
Meka: Yes, you have never used any of those things before Er-no. The answers are coming.
Er-no: What is this place? What’s happened to me?
Meka: More important is when.
Er-no: When?]
Meka: You believe the latest Window’s version is actually Windows XP, however it’s more close to Windows 3000XP2k.
Er-no: Microsoft are still around!?!?
Meka: Sadly yes. This is my ship, the Nebuchadnezzer.
Er-no: Pardon me?
Meka: The Nebuchadnezzer. It’s a hovercraft.
Er-no: Mind if I call it the ship?
Meka: If you must. This is the main deck, where we broadcast our pirate signal and hack into the Magrix. Most of the crew you know already. Those people there. This person is Goatboy, this Turbonutter, Stryke, Rastabillyskank, he’s Ailboy and that is Dan2k.
Er-no: I can’t see who you are pointing to! I’m blind remember!
Meka: We are geeks, like yourself, fighting to free humanity from the Magrix.
Er-no: Meka…. out of interest.
Meka: Yes?
Er-no: What would have happened if I took the blue pill?
Meka: Well, it was a suicide tablet. You see, if you’re not going to help us, you might as well die to be honest.
Er-no: Fair enough. So basically you won either way?
Meka: Yep.

~Scene 10
Er-no: Oh no! I forgot my toothbrush! I can't go back, can I?
Meka: No. But if you could, would you really want to?
Er-no: Yeh! Screw personal hygiene! I’ve been doing it for years anyway!
Meka: I feel I owe you an apology. We have a rule. We never free a mind once it's reached a certain age. It's dangerous, the mind has trouble letting go. I've seen it before and I'm sorry. I did what I did because...I had to. When the Magrix was first built, there was a man born inside who had the ability to change whatever he wanted, to remake the Magrix as he saw fit. It was he who freed the first of us, taught us the truth. As long as the Magrix exists the human race will never be free. After he died the Oracle prophesied his return and that his coming would hail the destruction of the Magrix and the war, bring freedom to our people. That is why there are those of us who have spent our entire lives searching the Magrix looking for him. I did what I did because I believe that search is over.... Get some rest, you're going to need it.
Er-no: For what?
Meka: Your training.

Rastabillyskank: Morning, did you sleep?
Er-no: No, was up all night drugged on caffeine.
Rastabillyskank: You will tonight, I guarantee it. I'm Rastabillyskank, I'll be your operator.
Er-no: You better be a good one.
Rasta: I got to tell you, I'm fairly excited to see what you're capable of, if Meka is right and all...I'm not supposed to talk about this, but if you are...a very exciting time. We got a lot to do. We got to get to it.... Now, we're supposed to start with these operation programs first, that's a major boring. Let's do something more fun. How about some training.
Er-no: Origami? I'm going to learn Origami?...
Rasta: Hey… I think he likes it. How about some more?
Er-no: Hell yes. Hell yeah.

Meka: How is he?
Rasta: Ten hours straight. He's a machine.

Er-no: I can pull hair…
Rasta: Show me.

~Scene 11
Meka: This is a hair pulling program, similar to the programmed reality of the Magrix. It has the same basic rules, rules like gravity. What you must learn is that these rules are no different that the rules of a computer system.
Er-no: They can be hacked.
Meka: Yes. Some of them can be bent. Others can be broken. Understand? Then pull my hair if you can...
Er-no grabs Meka’s hair and pulls. Meka screams. Meka punches him in the stomach. Er-no is thrown back.
Meka: Good. Adaptation, improvisation. But your weakness is not your technique.
Er-no lunges at Meka, and punches him in the arm.
Meka: Ow! My arm!
Meka punches Er-no in the arm back.
Er-no: Ow!!

(Inside the Nebuchadnezzar)
Dan2k: Meka is fighting Er-no!!!!
The crew run to watch, meanwhile Meka continually punches Er-no only to be punched back just as rapid. Meka finally kicks him into a wall.
Meka: How did I beat you?
Er-no: You cheat.
Meka: Yesssss. Do you think my cheating has anything to do with my muscles in this place?
Er-no is breathing heavily. Er-no: Yes.
Meka: You think that’s air you’re breathing? Hum?
Er-no: Still polluted hey?
Er-no jumps up.
Meka: Again.
Er-no continually punches Meka. Meka reacts lightning fast blocking every single blow.
Dan2k: Wow he’s fast. Take a look at his neural-kinetics! They are way above normal.
The crew all laugh/snort at the same time.
Goatboy: That’s amazing. He’s 0wing him and his llamas!
Dan2k: Yeh!
Meka knocks Er-no to the floor. Er-no grabs a chair from the side of the gym.
Er-no: I’ll kill you!
Er-no hits Meka with the chair knocking him to the floor. He then proceeds by jumping on top of Meka and punching him in the face.
Er-no: Can you smmmmmellllll what Er-no is cooking?
Dan2k: Wow! This guy can wrestle!
Rasta: Between you and me… I heard wrestling wasn’t real.
Dan2k: Yeh right!
The crew all laugh and snort at the same time in amusement.
Meka kicks Er-no in the privates, grabs the chair and smashes it over his head. Er-no collapses to the floor.
Er-no: Ok! You win!
Meka: WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? YOU’RE FASTER THAN THIS! DON’T THINK YOU ARE! KNOW YOU ARE! (Meka hits Er-no really hard in the head). COME ON
Er-no: Please don’t shout at me Mr. Meka!
Meka: Rasta, load the jump program.
The backdrop suddenly changes to a tall building.
Meka: Jump.
Er-no: I’m not committing suicide! What is your obsession with suicide?
Meka: No Er-no. I want you to jump to that building all the way over there. Free your mind.
Er-no: Okie doke. Free my mind..

(Back on the ship)
Dan2k: So what if he makes it?
Stryke: No one’s ever made their first jump.
Dan2k: But what if he does.
Ailboy: He won’t.
Dan2k: Come on.
Mystique: Come on.
Er-no begins to run. As he reaches the end of the building he slips on a banana skin and falls from the building.
Er-no: Oh great…..
Ailboy: Everyone trips on the banana skin on their first jump..

(Back in the ship)
Stryke: What does that mean?
Turbonutter: It doesn’t mean anything. It just means he’s prone to accidents like all us other geeks.
Goatboy: Everybody falls the first time. Right Mystique?
Er-no stirs from the virtual reality head set. He touches his mouth noticing blood.
Er-no: I thought it wasn’t real?
Meka: Your mind makes it real.
Er-no: If you are killed in the Magrix do you die here?
Meka: Yes. The body cannot live without the mind..

~Scene 12
Meka: Ok time to try the real world..
Meka and Er-no appear in the real world. They are walking down a street/
Meka: The Magrix is a system Er-no and that system is our enemy. What do you see? Business men, teachers, lawyer, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save.
Er-no observes a poster in the window “256mb ram for £2”
Meka: Were you listening to me Er-no or were you looking at the cheap RAM in the window for geeks?
Er-no: I was..
Meka: Look again.
Er-no turns to see the poster has been changed to £300 and that an agent is pointing a gun from inside it.
Meka: Freeze it.
Er-no: This isn’t the Magrix is it?
Meka: No. It’s a training program to teach you one thing. If you are not a geek you are one of them.
Er-no: What are they?
Meka: Special Reserve Staff Agent. They can move in and out of any software still hardwired to their system. That means, anyone in the Magrix is potentially a SR Agent. Inside the Magrix they are everyone. We only survive by running from them. They guard all the doors, they hold all the keys. Sooner or later, they are going to get in their way and someone will have to fight them.
Er-no: Someone?
Meka: I won’t lie to you. Everyone who has fought an agent has died. Where they have failed however you will succeed.
Er-no: Why?
Meka: I have seen an agent punch through an entire wall, I have seen men empty entire staple guns at them and hit nothing but walls. Yet their strength and speed are still based in a world that is built on rules. Because of that they can never be as strong or fast as you.
Er-no: Why can’t you be stronger and faster than them?
Meka: Because to be honest, I cannot be bothered.
Er-no: So what you are saying is that I can dodge staples?
Meka: No Er-no. When you are ready you won’t have to.

~Scene 13
In a restaurant
Agent Tony: Do we have a deal Mr. Goatboy?
Goatboy: So let me get this straight. In exchange for me getting the codes to the Zion mainframe for you, you reinsert me into the Magrix, give me a life of luxury, where I am a rich and important person, with a big house and a beautiful family?
Tony: Who also works with computers.
Goatboy: Well of course we have a deal! I’m not stupid.
Tony: There is one slight problem with this deal…
Goatboy: What?
Tony: You will have to look like and be…
Goatboy: Yes?
Tony: Bill Gates.
Goatboy (looking to the ceiling in the restaurant): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Tony: (Quickly) It’s nothing plastic surgery can’t help… and we will throw in two gameadays.
Goatboy: Three.
Tony: Okay three gameadays..
Goatboy: But I don’t know the codes to the Zion mainframe. Only one person does and his name is….
Tony (taking his sunglasses off): Meka.

~Scene 14
Er-no wakes up on his computer keyboard. He looks around seeing his fellow crew all slumped over their computers. Goatboy has Dark Ages of Camelot playing on his screen. The message please do not idle flashes at the top. Only Meka is awake.
Er-no: Ergg.
Meka: Good morning. How did you sleep?
Er-no: Got two hours. Pretty good for me, it’s usually 10 minutes.
Meka taps Rastabillyskank on the shoulder. Rasta jumps alive and begins to tap on his computer. Suddenly at the sound of tapping, the whole room jumps alive and only the sound of tapping can be heard.
Meka sits on his computer and begins to tap. Er-no looks over his shoulder. Meka taps in a message “Rasta when you’re done bring the ship up to broadcast depth. We’re going in. Taking Er-no to see her.” The message disappears. A few seconds later a response appears “Rastabillyskank: No problem”.
Er-no: Couldn’t you have told Rasta that?
Meka: Don’t be silly. We’re geeks!
Er-no: Who we going to see?
Rasta turns around from his computer.
Rasta: Ant. The guy knows everything about pretty much anything. He can predict stuff right before it happens. He’s going to help you.
Er-no: Did he help you?
Rasta: Yes. He told me one Saturdays lottery numbers.
Er-no: Were they right?
Rasta: I won a million. And spent it all on computer equipment.
Er-no: Oh.. cool.
Rasta: Now everyone, get in position I’m sending you all in!

~Scene 15
The group appear in a lobby by a phone.
They all follow Meka downstairs. Meka leads Er-no and Mystique into a car outside.
Er-no: Where did this come from?
Meka: No questions. Must speak to Ant.
Meka leads them into a flat.
Er-no: Ant lives in a flat?
Meka: He’s all wise and all knowing.
Meka takes Er-no through into the flat.
Meka: I’ll be outside.
Some random person: Hello Er-no, you are right on time. These are the other potentials, you can wait here.
Er-no sits down. He looks around him. He notices a small child with a spoon that he is bending with his fingers.
Darkness: Do not try and bend the spoon. That’s impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.
Er-no: What on Earth are you on about? That’s not impressive you are bending it with your hands!
Darkness: Am not!
Er-no: And why are you trying to sound all intellectual you stupid boy?
Darkness: Go on then I’d like to see you do better!
Darkness sticks the spoon in his pocket and gives Er-no another spoon.
Er-no: Cheater! This one is unbendable. Gimme that spoon you little cheater!
Er-no grabs the spoon from Darkness’ pocket. As he touches it he realises it is made of rubber.
Er-no: Rubber?? You little cheater!
Er-no goes to punch him.
Random person: Ant will see you now.

~Scene 16
Ant: I know you’re Er-no. Be right with you.
Ant walks over to his Playstation 2 and saves his game of Metal Gear Solid 2. He turns it off.
Er-no: You’re Ant?
Ant: Not quite what you were expecting right?
Er-no: Yeh.. I was expecting someone a bit older.
Ant: I’d ask you to sit down but I know you’re not going to. Oh, and you owe me forty quid.
Er-no: For what?
Er-no suddenly hears a snapping sound.
Ant: For breaking my copy of Grand Theft Auto 3.
Er-no: It only costs thirty three pounds!!
Ant: Gimme you’re wallet if you want to have you future told.
Er-no: Fine..
Er-no hands him the wallet.
Ant: Erm... lemme look. Do you think you are the one?
Er-no: I dunno.
Ant: You know what I’m going to tell you though yes?
Er-no: I’m not the one.
Ant: Nope, now go away, I’ve still got to get 100% on Metal Gear Solid 2!
Ant walks back to his Playstation 2 and switches on it.
Er-no: (laughs) Meka almost had be convinced.
Ant: Yeh whatever. We’re sadly gonna be lost without good old Meka.
Er-no: Without him?
Ant: Yeh, he’s going to get captured by agents on the way home.
Er-no: Huh?!
Ant: Yeh, I know bad hey. You could try saving him if you wanted but either way one of you will die.
Er-no: You sure?
Ant: Yeh, I’ll kill you if you don’t leave me house asap!
Ant loads up a shotgun and points it at Er-no. Er-no runs out of the flat.
Outside….
Meka: What for said was for you and you alone.

~Scene 17
Inside the ship
Rasta: Ready to go?

Inside the hotel. A monkey randomly runs past the door, humps the doorframe then disappears. Then a very similar monkey runs past the door, again humps the doorframe then disappears.
Er-no: Woah, déjà vu.
The group suddenly turn around.
Mystique: What did you say?
Er-no: Nothing just had some déjà vu.
Mystique: What did you see?
Er-no: A monkey humping a door. Then another monkey humping a door – it looked just like it.
Mystique: How much like it?
Er-no: What’s with the third degree?!!?
Mystique: It’s a glitch in the Magrix!

Inside the ship
Rasta: Oh my!! I deleted my saved game.. oh my!

Inside Hotel
Meka: Lets go!

Inside the ship
Rasta: They cut the hard line! It’s a trap!!!

Inside the hotel
Dan2k: Mm.. I’m sure there was a door there a minute ago..
Dan2k sees a group of agents ascending the stairs. Dan2k pulls out a ruler.
Dan2k: No!
Dan2k begins to flick pieces of paper with his ruler at the approaching agents. An agent pulls out a staple gun and fires staples at Dan2k. Dan2k falls to the floor in a pile of staples. He bleeds.

Inside the hotel
Goatboy: They got rid of the door. We’re trapped! No way out!
Meka: Be calm. Gimme your phone.
Mystique: They will be able to track it!
Meka: We have no choice.

(on cellular phone)
Rasta: Operator.
Meka: Rasta find out where some vent we can climb through is.
Rasta: Okey doke.

Inside the hotel
Agent Tony and Agent Snuggly together: Eighth floor.
Meka: Ok. Right you say?
Rasta: No left!
Meka: For goodness sake gimme decent directions!
Ailboy: Er-no I hope Ant gave you good news.
Er-no: Well actually he didn’t really…

(Cellular)
Rasta: Another left! That’s it..
Meka: About time!
Agent Snuggly: Where are they?
Police: In the walls.
They begin firing at the walls of the vent. Some bullets go straight through the wall.
Goatboy: It’s an agent!
Meka’s eyes go funny and he lunges through the wall. In front is Agent Tony, gun in hand.
Meka: Ow.. that really hurt!
Mystique: Meka!!!
Meka: You must get Er-no out. He’s all that matters!
Er-no: No! Don’t!
Meka: Mystique… GO!
Mystique: For goodness sake Er-no stop crying out for Meka and do what he tells you.
Er-no: We can’t leave him!
Mystique: yes we can! Now move before I kick you in the privates!

Agent Tony: The great geek Meka. We meet at last!
Meka: And you are?
Agent Tony: Tony… the guy who gives you gameadays.
Meka: You all look the same to me!
Meka and Agent Tony fight. Their punches are rapid. Tony finally punches Meka in the stomach sending him crashing into the wall. Plaster crumbles. He falls helplessly to the floor.
Agent Tony: Take him.

~Scene 18
Rasta: No!!!! I just got killed on this online game! Oh.. No! Meka’s been captured! Damn lag..
Rasta’s phone rings.
Rasta: Operator.
Goatboy: I need an exit fast!
Rasta: Goatboy?
Goatboy: Yeh accident. Now I need to come and kill you from inside, and unplug everyone and disrupt your operation. Betray you if you like.
Rasta: Fair enough.
Rasta gives Goatboy directions to a phone.
Goatboy: Right.

The phone rings again.
Mystique: Rasta it’s me!
Er-no: Is Meka alive Rasta?
Rasta: I dunno.. it’s too laggy today. I think he is.
Mystique: We need an exit.
Rasta: You are not far from Goatboy..
Mystique: Goatboy?
Rasta: I know.
Rasta directs them to the same phone.

The group get to the phone.
Mystique: You first Er-no.

Inside the ship
Goatboy: Bye bye!
Goatboy shoots Turbonutter with an electromagnetic pulse gun.
Goatboy: Mm.. I wonder why we use stationary in the Magrix and not this…
He shoots Rasta.
Rasta: ahh!

By the phone
Er-no: It just went dead…
Mystiques mobile rings.
Er-no: You know.. you could get cancer from using that thing too much...
Mystique: Goatboy? Where’s Rasta?
Goatboy: You no Mystique, I always used to fancy you, since you were the only girl I knew in my very antisocial life. Too bad things had to turn out this way…
Mystique: You killed them!
Ailboy: What?
Strkye: Oh no!
Goatboy: You see, I’m tired of being a computer geek outside the Magrix when I can be one inside. I’m tired of this ship, not getting any of the action you know what I mean? I want to go back to a life of luxury that this ship can’t give you.
Mystique: You gave them Meka!
Goatboy: He lied to us Mystique. He tricked us. Remember? We got no choice with the pills! Death or a life outside the Magrix!
Mystique: He set us free..
Goatboy: Free? Whatever. Now.. let me wire Ailboy up to a standard modem, screw this broadband.

Ailboy: Mystique. (He looks to Mystique helplessly).
Stryke: No..
Goatboy: Enjoy the lag.
Ailboy goes into a spasm. He stops with one leg in the air and another hand forward.
Stryke: He’s lagging!!
Ailboy looks as if frozen. Stryke pokes him and he falls to the floor.

Mystique (Desperately): Wait! You can’t go back Goatboy!
Goatboy: Oh yes I can. My bodies going to be reinserted and I’ll be Bill Gates.
Mystique: Bill Gates? Think of all the hate mail you’re get!
Goatboy: It won’t matter I’ll have all the money I want!
Mystique: What about the hard job of completely ridding Windows of bugs!!
Goatboy: It’s work I’m willing to sacrifice my time too.. by the way, if you have anything terribly important to say to Stryke I’d say it now.
Mystique: Stryke I’m a newbie.
Stryke: Noo! Not like this not like this! Laggings a horrible way to…
Stryke suddenly rapidly moves to and fro. He seems to teleport around the room. He then suddenly freezes and disappears. A message “Stryke timed out” echoes around the room.
Goatboy: Too late.
Mystique: Goatboy you (Bleep)!!
Goatboy: Don’t hate me Mystique.. I’m just the messenger. Oh.. lets plug Er-no into the evil modem of doom shall we? MM.. how can he be the one if he is dead? If you really think he is the one tell me!
Mystique: I think he is the one..
Goatboy: Uh oh.. I don’t believe it.
Rasta: Believe it.. I’ve left my chair for the first time in two years and I’ve got a gun.
Rasta shoots Goatboy. He fries and falls to the floor.
Rasta: Ok.. lets get you back.
Er-no: You first Mystique..

Mystique respawns in the ship, Mystique notices Rastas severe injuries.
Mystique: You’re hurt!
Rasta: I’m okay… really I am.
Mystique: What about Turbonutter?
Rasta shakes his head.
Er-no suddenly respawns.

Er-no: Meka is he okay?
Rasta: Since you asked me last, I’ve tracked him. He’s alive, but they are cracking him like a code.

In an office..
Agent Tony: Never send a geek to do a man’s job.
Agent Snuggly: If indeed the insider has failed, they will lag Meka so badly he will seize to exist.
Agent Loki: Mm.. wanna go down the pub?
Agent Snuggly: Wait.. they may not kill Meka…. If the geeks are as stupid as I think.

Rasta: We have to kill him.
Mystique: We have no choice.
Rasta and Mystique go on computers and send one another the text “L”. They then stand up.
Rasta: Sorry Meka… you’re more then a leader to us.. you are like a father etc…
Rasta goes to unplug him.
Er-no: I don’t believe this! STOP!
Mystique: It’s the only way.
Er-no: No.. Ant. He told me I’d have to make a choice. We have to go back!
Mystique: Are you crazy? These are agents holding them. Big strong tough agents that are unstoppable. Nothing like this has ever been done before.
Er-no: That’s why it’s going to work. And I’m going to do it on my own if I have to.
Mystique: No your not. Meka means more to me then to you I’m sure!
Rasta: Ohh… Mystique and Meka sitting in a tree.. K . I . S...
Mystique: Shut up!
Er-no: Rasta, I’m going to do this.
Rasta: What you going to need?
Er-no: Stationary… lots of stationary.
Rasta: Won’t guns be better?
Er-no: Trust me, there’s no way I’d be able to smuggle the amount of weapons I want to carry into Britain if we have guns.
Rasta: Fine stationary it is… if you insist. Why do you always go for stationary?!!?

~Scene 19
Er-no and Mystique walk into a building with trenchcoats on,
Er-no: We look cool…
They enter through the front door, a metal detector is in front of them. Er-no walks through the right one. It beeps. A security guard gets off his chair and walks towards Er-no.
Man: Please remove any metallic items…
“Candle in the Wind” by Elton John begins to play…
Er-no: Is it me or does this music just seem so inappropriate to play alongside a gun battle?
Er-no pulls open his trenchcoat, revealing several staple guns, two hot glue guns, five blank compact CDs, five cans of coke, a soldering iron and a stapler.
Man: Oh geez!!!!! What’s with all the stationary???
Er-no pulls the two hot glue guns and fires at the man. Hot glue hits the man’s face. He falls to the floor screaming in agony. Er-no pulls a coke can out of his trenchcoat. He shakes it.
Man Two: It’s gonna blow!! BACKUP SEND BACKUP!
The coke can is thrown across the floor. The impact pierces it, and a jet of coke shoots out of it. The pressure causes the can to spin wildly on the floor.
Man Two: My crotch! It looks like I’ve peed myself! NOOO!
Mystique fires a hot glue at one other person. The man clutches his eyes and writhes in agony.
Suddenly armed troops appear from the left and right sides of the lift. They point guns at Er-no who has now been joined by Mystique.
Armed Troop 1: FFFFRRREEEEEEEZZZZZEEEEE!
Mystique runs to the left, and Er-no to the right. Er-no runs up a pillar, does a flip, lands on his feet, then does a cartwheel along the floor. He lands on his feet again, does a somersault in mid air and lands in a splits position. The armed troops drop their guns.
Armed Troop: That guys going to make a fine gymnast one day!
Er-no jumps out of his splits position launching a compact disk at the armed guards. The compact disk takes off a guy’s head. Three armed guards reveal cards with “10” on them. The other’s clap.
Armed Troop: Why are we clapping? He’s killed him!
The armed troops put their guns in their hands again. They start firing. Bullets bounce off the pillars of the lobby as they try to shoot Er-no doing gymnasts. Mystique does a cartwheel knocking a guard in the head. She hits the wall, runs around it. She does five circuits of the lobby.
A guard: Dizzy! My head! (The guards falls to the floor).
Er-no pulls out a staple gun and starts unloading staples at the guards. They collapse to the floor. He then grabs a sheet of paper and runs up to a guard and gives him a fatal paper cut.
One guard is left. The whole room is in tatters from bullets hitting the walls.
Er-no: You missed a spot. (He points at a pillar unscathed from the battle.)
The guard unloads the rest of his bullets into the pillar.
Guard: There you go. Now for you!
Guard points a gun at Er-no and fires as Er-no slowly walks to him. It clicks signalling there is no ammo. Er-no fires a staple into his groin.
Guard: ARRHHGGH!
Mystique and Er-no enter the lift. The room no longer looks pretty as it used to be. People are stapled to the floor and the walls and some guards lie on the floor in agony.

In the office
Agent Snuggly: What are you doing?
Agent Loki: He doesn’t know.
Agent Tony: Know what?
Agent Snuggly: The geeks are trying to save him…

Back in the lobby
Mystique plants some explosives in the lift. Her and Er-no then grab the lift cord as the lift crashes down below them. The room is engulfed in the explosion.
Er-no: what was the point in doing that?
Mystique: Dunno.. just kind of fitted the scene don’t you think?

~Scene 20
Agent Tony: Find and destroy them!

On the roof
Er-no and Mystique are flinging elastic bands at people knocking them to the floor.
A helicopter on the roof, has a pilot who is being bombarded with elastic bands.
Pilot: We’re under attack!
Suddenly the pilot goes into a spasm. He transforms into Agent Snuggly. Snuggly climbs out of the helicopter and walks over to Er-no. He pulls out a desert eagle and begins to fire at Er-no. Er-no goes into bullet time. Bullets whiz past him. He curves in and out of them again and again. Finally a bullet scrapes his leg. He falls to the floor. Snuggly walks over to him
Snuggly: (pointing a desert Eagle to Er-no’s head) Only a geek.
Mystique: (pointing a staple gun to Agent Snugglys head) Dodge this.
(Snuggly dodges the projectile staple despite there being only an inch between the gun and his head).
Mystique: Ok.. Best out of two.. Dodge this.
(Snuggly again miraculously dodges it.)
Er-no: That’s crazy.
Mystique: FOR GOODNESS SAKE DODGE THIS!
(Snuggly bends to his left dodging the staple again.)
Mystique: Grr! (Mystique rapidly fires lots of staples at Snuggly. He dodges them all.)
Mystique: Fine! Deny me the right to a cool line!
Mystique kicks Snuggly in the privates. Snuggly falls to the floor.
The body of Snuggly glows, electricity flicks off it. The dead body of a soldier replaces him.
Mystique: How did you do that?
Er-no: Do what?
Mystique: You moved like they do. I’ve never seen someone move so fast.
Er-no: I’ve got itchy privates.
Mystique: Oh.
Er-no: Wasn’t fast enough though was it? (He touches a wound in his leg). IT hurts!!
Mystique: Want a plaster?
Er-no: Please.
Mystique places a Disney plaster on the wound.
Mystique: There you go.
Er-no: Much better. Now can you drive that helicopter.
Mystique: Will in a min. Rasta I need to learn how to fly a helicopter.
Rasta: K..
Mystique: Ok.. lets move.

~Scene 21
Mystique is flying the helicopter.
Mystique: What does this button do?
Mystique presses the button. A missile flies out of the front and hits a building.
Mystique: Whoopsie…
Er-no: I think maybe we should ignore those buttons. How about I use the machine gun and do the firing.
Mystique: Fair enough.
Mystique hovers the helicopter in front of a glass window. Meka is inside. Er-no begins to fire, the window smashes.
In the next room:
Agent Loki looks to Agent Tony as the sounds of shattering glass fill the room.
Er-no’s bullets hit Meka
Er-no: Whoops.. Get up Meka.. get up!
Meka suddenly pulls apart his chains and runs towards the helicopter. Agent Loki turns the corner. He fires his desert eagle at Meka. He hits him in the foot as he begins his jump.
Er-no: He’s not going to make it!
Mystique: Shouldn’t you do something then?
Er-no: Fair enough.
Er-no jumps and catches Meka on a cord.
Mystique flies the helicopter and flicks the cord on to the top of a building. Er-no jumps down with Meka. Mystique then suddenly loses control.
Er-no: Now it’s my turn to show off.
Er-no grabs the cord and pulls. He drags the cord up. Meka is shocked by his strength. The end of the cord appears.. with no helicopter attached.
Er-no: Whoops
Mystique’s head appears from below. She has climbed up.
Er-no: Phew thought I’d killed you then.
Meka takes Mystiques mobile.
Meka: Rasta we need an exit
Rasta: Boy I’m glad to hear your voice again sir! Ok.. I got one lined up. It’s at Chelmsford train station.
Er-no: isn’t that a bit of a rough area at night?
Meka: No that’s Basildon.
Er-no: Basildon station?
Meka: No just Basildon.

~Scene 22
They are at a phone in Chelmsford station. Meka goes first back to the ship. Mystique follows. As she disappears there is a gun shot from Agent Tony. The gun breaks the receiver.


In the ship..
Mystique: Send me back! An agent!
Er-no turns around.
Meka: He’s going to fight!
Rasta: Cool.. I’ll get the popcorn.
Er-no pulls out his staple gun. The two duel. Bullets/staples whiz past one another as they run towards each other. Finally they fall to the floor. Er-no and Tony both have guns to one another’s heads.
Tony: You’re out of staples.
Er-no: No I’m not..
Er-no fires the staple.
Tony: Owchhhh!
Tony jumps up and kicks Er-no into a train platform.
Ticket Collector: Tickets please…
Tony: Not now..
Ticket Collector: I’m sorry.. I’m going to need to see some tickets or I’m going to have to fine you.
Tony: Not now..
Ticket Collector: Dodging fares is a terrible crime.
Tony: Dodge this!
Tony fires a bullet and hits the ticket collector in the stomach.
Er-no: Yeh! No one likes ticket collectors. (The sound of a train can be heard) Train!
Tony: I’m going to enjoy watching you die.. Bob.
Er-no: My name… is… mm what is my name?
Er-no jumps up. Tony is hit by the oncoming train.
Er-no begins to run as Agent Loki appears off the train. He grabs his cellular.
Er-no: I need an exit.
Rasta: Ok.. just across the road, smash the window of Domino’s pizza and use their phone.
Er-no: That’s too far away!!! I’m too geeky to run that far! I don’t like exercise!
Rasta: It’s only across the blooming road!
Er-no runs over there. He turns the corner to grab the phone. He is shot at point blank range by Loki. He falls to the floor with a thud.
Loki kneels down beside him and checks his pulse.
Loki nods towards the other agents.

Back in the ship
Meka: No… he’s the one. This can’t happen.

Back in Dominos Pizza
Loki: That’s another geek sorted. Want to go down to the pub now?
Agent Tony: Sounds good to me.
Agent Snuggly: As long as I don’t end up paying for all the rounds again!
They begin to walk away.
Er-no suddenly stirs.
Agent Tony: Huh?
The three agents begin to open fire at Er-no.
The bullets stop right in front of him.
Agent Snuggly: He’s using cheats!!!
Agent Loki: I thought this was a cheat free server?
Agent Tony runs at him. Er-no looks like he is on drugs.
Er-no jumps at Tony and appears to disappear inside him.
Agent Tony: Mm… something just went inside me.
Agent Tony suddenly explodes. Snuggly and Loki look at one another and run.
Agent Snuggly: Er… To the pub!!

In the ship
Rasta: How?
Meka: He’s the one..
Mystique: Er-no!
Er-no grabs the phone. He is whisked back outside the Magrix.

~Scene 23

Er-no is standing in a street
Er-no voiceover: I know you’re out there Magrix - Grix’s brain. I can feel you know. I know you’re afraid. You’re afraid of us – the geeks. You’re afraid of change. I don’t know the future and I didn’t come to tell you how this is going to end, but I’m pretty sure the good guys are going to win and your going to lose. Ner ner ner nerrrrrr ner. I’m going to show these people what you don’t want them to see. A world without you. So ner… Cool I sounded really hard then..
Music starts to play
RM18: Hi guys I’m here for the spoof!! (Pauses and looks around as the camera begins to zoom out from him). No!! Don’t go camera! NOOO! I WANT TO BE IN A SPOOF!!!!!!
Credits Roll..

That was BRILLIANT!

Well done!

:)

*notices that he wasnt in it*

eeerrrr, it was a good spoof.