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"A little Football Joke For You"

Alex ferguson is getting worried about his team's recent poor form against Arsenal. He just can't understand it, Man United are the biggest club in Europe, have all the best players etc., but everytime they play the Gunners they always lose. so Alex gives Arsene Wenger a call and explains his problem. Arsene is very understanding and invites Alex to watch his team training. So Alex turns up in London and spends the day watching the Arsenal players. At the end of the training setion he says to Arsene " I still don't understand, we seem to do all the same things in training that you do, but you still beat us all the time".
"Ah" says Mr Wenger, " I don't think its anything to do with the training, i think it's because my players are moreintelligent than yours".
Alex looks a bit peeved and asks Arsene " What the hell do you mean by that?".
" Well" says Arsene, " We also train our boys in lateral thinking".
To demonstrate his point he calls over Dennis Bergkamp. " Dennis heres a problem for you. He's your father's son but not your brother, who is he?".
"That's easy" says Bergkamp,"It's me".
"Correct" says Arsene.
Alex is very impressed. He goes back to Manchester and next day in training he calls David Beckham over. "David, i've been talking to Arsene Wenger and he reckons his players are more intelligent that ours".
"That's rubbish, Boss", is Beckham's considered reply.
"OK", says Alex, " I've got a problem for you. He's your father's son, but he's not your brother. Who is he?".
Beckham looks blank and replies "Need some time to think about this boss, can i tell you tomorrow?".
Alex agrees and Beckham goes home thinking about the problem. He asks Posh Spice, but she hasn't a clue what he's talking about. He eventually decides to give Jaap Stam a call, thinking that as Arsenal have alot of foreign players, maybe he will understand.
" Hello Jaap it's David. I've got a problem for you. He's your father's so, but he's not your brother. Who is he?".
"Thats easy", says Jaap, "It's me".
So Beckham calls over Alex Ferguson next day at training and says "Morning boss, i've got the answer to your problem".
"OK, what is it?".
"It's Jaap Stam", replies the confident Beckham.
"You stupid idiot", shouts Alex, " It's not Jaap Stam......It's Dennis Bergkamp!".

hey has anyone else got any more.

well we did think we had the WC final in the bag. :(

indeed..

Should shut them up for a bit

Damn right!!!!!

Cockey smug scousers thought they were through hahaha...

Here's Something Funny...

Bayer Leverkusen 4 Liverpool 2

:D

Hers my personal favourite :)

Two fisherman always come to the same spot on the same lake every saturday. They dont know each other and never really speak apart from the odd "Hello" and "How are ya". Both of them never have any communiocation devices on them -ie no phones, pagers, radios, tvs etc.

One day one of the fisherman before packing all his equipment in the car sighs and says to another one..

"I see Spurs lost again.."

"How the hell do you know that", comes the reply "neither of us have any equipment or anything on us! How can you possibly know that Spurs lost???"

"Well thats easy.Its quarter to five...."

Ok,ok, another Tottenham one :(


Early one morning Glenn Hoddle was woken up by one of his assitance 'Glenn! Glenn! White Hart Lanes on Fire!' 'Quick!' replied Glenn. "The Cups!" "The Cups" "Save the cups!"

"Er Glenn sir, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet"

A coach driver has a job to take 22 blind people to Brighton for the day. On his return trip he feels like a drink, but his problem is what to do with the his passengers. He decides to let them have a football match. He put some bells inside a football so they can follow the sound to kick the ball. Then goes for a quick drink.
Not ten minuets have passed when someone rushes in and shouts "Who's in charge of the blind people out back".
The driver says "I am what is the problem"
"Well you better get out there quick. They're kicking seven bells out of the Morris dancers"

lol.....dam i hate spurs jokes :D

Since I go to Spurs games from time to time, I get to hear a lot of jokes :)Anyway here is one...

Glenn Hoddle and Alex Ferguson are interviewed by Bob Wilson on Big Match before the first game of the season. Bob asks the managers questions about the club, players and the fans..Its time for the last question so Bob asks Glen:

"Well what are your expectations for this season, Glen?"

"Well, you know, Id like to finish mid-table or so, do well in the cups, stuff like that", says Glen

"Ok sounds good", says Bob "What about you Alex?"

"Well, I want my team to win every game, win all the cups, not lost to anyone and score at least 10 goals every game"

"Erm, well isnt that a bit unrealistic?", says Bob

"Well, Glen started it...."