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This review also appears on my website - www.shaunmunro.co.uk
Hitman, the adaptation of the excellent computer game franchise of the same name, will undoubtedly have fans flocking in their droves to witness slick assassin, Agent 47, on the big screen. The horde of fans bring with them the minute glimmer of hope that it will join the few game-to-film adaptations that, frankly, haven’t been derivative, uninspired messes.
What is apparent very quickly is how preposterously miscast Timothy Olyphant is as the protagonist – he lacks the deep, suave voice of David Bateson, and I’m left wondering why Bateson himself wasn’t just cast as the lead. Of course, I then woke up and remembered that Olyphant, who, I have nothing against, is becoming quite the household name, whilst Bateson’s score sheet is distinctly empty. I cringed at the initial casting choice of Vin Diesel, yet having seen this film, and considering how my own favourite, John Malkovich, would never sign onto a project such as this (although he was in Eragon), I’m inclined to think Diesel wouldn’t have been so bad.
The basic premise of Hitman involves Inspector Mike Whittier (Dougray Scott) on the hunt for Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant), who is purported to have assassinated over one hundred people. 47, however, is a phantom, rarely leaving a trace, and even more rarely being outsmarted.
Hitman, like the games on which it is based, travels all over Europe, docking for a while in St. Petersburg, a central location of the second game in the series. As a militant fan of the games, this pleased me, but as soon 47 begins taking shots at the bar and interacts with a cute Russian woman, who professes to him the importance of drinking etiquette, I began to lose faith. This is a film which, like this year’s horrendous Redline, people will love to label as “Eurotrash”, and whilst I dislike the term, it is rather apt from the outset.
Fortunately, at least to an extent, Hitman attempts to remain in the vein of the games – Hitman is frequently as cold and callous as ever. His assassinations are swift, but mostly lend themselves to the brutality of the games. With its generous squibs of blood, and fair instances of breasts on display, this isn’t a PG13 endeavour, although the screen is hardly showered in blood either. As hard as everyone on board tries, I will never, for the life of me understand why screenwriter Skip Woods felt the need to have 47 partake in the ever-clichéd emotional shower scene.
Fairly early on in the film, the central storyline from the games is suggested (involving clones), yet, as with 47’s past, it is never expanded upon in any satisfying detail beyond a brief spell of grainy, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it flashbacks. Ergo, if you’ve never played the games, then I imagine that parts of this film will leave you utterly clueless – through and through, this is for gamers above all else.
Behind all of the tussles for jurisdiction and bad Russian accents, this could be a far worse adaptation – as a SWAT team descend upon 47, it is incredibly reminiscent of parts of the second and third games, even if it employs far more theatrics, and, to be precise, many more preposterous explosions. That said, the game counterpart of 47 was a clear-cut anti-hero, and here I’m not so sure. He effortlessly kills sixteen SWAT team members in the film’s opening battle, yet these men were not party to some sort of maleficent conspiracy – they were merely men doing their jobs. In the games, near enough everyone 47 killed deserved it.
Moral values of assassins aside, in investigating the supposed re-emergence of a man he killed just hours earlier, 47 comes into contact with the man’s girlfriend, Nika (Olga Kurylenko) who, as you can quite rightly guess, is the love interest of our story.
The contrivances just pile on from here, with insanely lucky escapes and ridiculously slick disguises. One can tolerate such mechanics in a game, yet for the filmic adaptation, I hoped that the helmers would possess the smarts to tone down the madness a tad, but alas, no dice.
Hitman comfortably transcends into the laughable when 47 manages to corner and best an assassin sent to kill him, yet rather than interrogate him (even if the chances of getting answers are slim), he simply riddles him with bullets, and then spouts a horrific one-liner. The manner in which he ends the assassin will cause many a cinemagoer to cringe.
47 soon enough finds himself aboard a train, embroiled in a truly strange swordfight against a band of seeming clones. For good, politically correct measure, the filmmakers are even sure to throw a black “clone” into the mix, despite the fact that these agents are all meant to look like 47, if any consideration is to be taken in regard to source material continuity.
Agent 47 is an inconsistent character to say the least – he, without hesitation, blows up an entire SWAT team, yet hesitates when faced with Inspector Whittier, someone who is a considerable threat to 47’s freedom. Moreover, Nika appears to slowly melt his heart, and the accompanying scenes of levity just feel like an affront; a slap in the face to fans of the games.
There is a shootout of considerable firepower about an hour into the film – it’s hyperactive, it’s loud, and it just doesn’t feel very Hitman at all. To top it all off, 47 even spouts another choice phrase before dropping the last goon in the room. The film’s sort-of saving grace is its finale, where I had little idea quite what was going to happen. It’s all appropriately tense, with the occasional wink and nod to the games, even if the action is far, far too frenzied.
Even fans of the games will be left scratching their heads at the sheer absurdity of the film’s ending – there is the high possibility of a sequel, although I hope this is not the case. Hitman is a generic action thriller with a tiresome, clichéd plot and Russian accents that are even worse. Upon seeing it, fans of the game may proclaim “I see what they did there”, but this film feels more like a fleeting reference to the series upon which it is based rather than an actual adaptation. Olyphant was completely miscast, and the only tolerable performance in this film was by Dougray Scott, who, frankly, shouldn’t be appearing in films such as this anyway.
Thanks for reading,
Reefer
Hitman, the adaptation of the excellent computer game franchise of the same name, will undoubtedly have fans flocking in their droves to witness slick assassin, Agent 47, on the big screen. The horde of fans bring with them the minute glimmer of hope that it will join the few game-to-film adaptations that, frankly, haven’t been derivative, uninspired messes.
What is apparent very quickly is how preposterously miscast Timothy Olyphant is as the protagonist – he lacks the deep, suave voice of David Bateson, and I’m left wondering why Bateson himself wasn’t just cast as the lead. Of course, I then woke up and remembered that Olyphant, who, I have nothing against, is becoming quite the household name, whilst Bateson’s score sheet is distinctly empty. I cringed at the initial casting choice of Vin Diesel, yet having seen this film, and considering how my own favourite, John Malkovich, would never sign onto a project such as this (although he was in Eragon), I’m inclined to think Diesel wouldn’t have been so bad.
The basic premise of Hitman involves Inspector Mike Whittier (Dougray Scott) on the hunt for Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant), who is purported to have assassinated over one hundred people. 47, however, is a phantom, rarely leaving a trace, and even more rarely being outsmarted.
Hitman, like the games on which it is based, travels all over Europe, docking for a while in St. Petersburg, a central location of the second game in the series. As a militant fan of the games, this pleased me, but as soon 47 begins taking shots at the bar and interacts with a cute Russian woman, who professes to him the importance of drinking etiquette, I began to lose faith. This is a film which, like this year’s horrendous Redline, people will love to label as “Eurotrash”, and whilst I dislike the term, it is rather apt from the outset.
Fortunately, at least to an extent, Hitman attempts to remain in the vein of the games – Hitman is frequently as cold and callous as ever. His assassinations are swift, but mostly lend themselves to the brutality of the games. With its generous squibs of blood, and fair instances of breasts on display, this isn’t a PG13 endeavour, although the screen is hardly showered in blood either. As hard as everyone on board tries, I will never, for the life of me understand why screenwriter Skip Woods felt the need to have 47 partake in the ever-clichéd emotional shower scene.
Fairly early on in the film, the central storyline from the games is suggested (involving clones), yet, as with 47’s past, it is never expanded upon in any satisfying detail beyond a brief spell of grainy, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it flashbacks. Ergo, if you’ve never played the games, then I imagine that parts of this film will leave you utterly clueless – through and through, this is for gamers above all else.
Behind all of the tussles for jurisdiction and bad Russian accents, this could be a far worse adaptation – as a SWAT team descend upon 47, it is incredibly reminiscent of parts of the second and third games, even if it employs far more theatrics, and, to be precise, many more preposterous explosions. That said, the game counterpart of 47 was a clear-cut anti-hero, and here I’m not so sure. He effortlessly kills sixteen SWAT team members in the film’s opening battle, yet these men were not party to some sort of maleficent conspiracy – they were merely men doing their jobs. In the games, near enough everyone 47 killed deserved it.
Moral values of assassins aside, in investigating the supposed re-emergence of a man he killed just hours earlier, 47 comes into contact with the man’s girlfriend, Nika (Olga Kurylenko) who, as you can quite rightly guess, is the love interest of our story.
The contrivances just pile on from here, with insanely lucky escapes and ridiculously slick disguises. One can tolerate such mechanics in a game, yet for the filmic adaptation, I hoped that the helmers would possess the smarts to tone down the madness a tad, but alas, no dice.
Hitman comfortably transcends into the laughable when 47 manages to corner and best an assassin sent to kill him, yet rather than interrogate him (even if the chances of getting answers are slim), he simply riddles him with bullets, and then spouts a horrific one-liner. The manner in which he ends the assassin will cause many a cinemagoer to cringe.
47 soon enough finds himself aboard a train, embroiled in a truly strange swordfight against a band of seeming clones. For good, politically correct measure, the filmmakers are even sure to throw a black “clone” into the mix, despite the fact that these agents are all meant to look like 47, if any consideration is to be taken in regard to source material continuity.
Agent 47 is an inconsistent character to say the least – he, without hesitation, blows up an entire SWAT team, yet hesitates when faced with Inspector Whittier, someone who is a considerable threat to 47’s freedom. Moreover, Nika appears to slowly melt his heart, and the accompanying scenes of levity just feel like an affront; a slap in the face to fans of the games.
There is a shootout of considerable firepower about an hour into the film – it’s hyperactive, it’s loud, and it just doesn’t feel very Hitman at all. To top it all off, 47 even spouts another choice phrase before dropping the last goon in the room. The film’s sort-of saving grace is its finale, where I had little idea quite what was going to happen. It’s all appropriately tense, with the occasional wink and nod to the games, even if the action is far, far too frenzied.
Even fans of the games will be left scratching their heads at the sheer absurdity of the film’s ending – there is the high possibility of a sequel, although I hope this is not the case. Hitman is a generic action thriller with a tiresome, clichéd plot and Russian accents that are even worse. Upon seeing it, fans of the game may proclaim “I see what they did there”, but this film feels more like a fleeting reference to the series upon which it is based rather than an actual adaptation. Olyphant was completely miscast, and the only tolerable performance in this film was by Dougray Scott, who, frankly, shouldn’t be appearing in films such as this anyway.
Thanks for reading,
Reefer
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This review also appears on my website - www.shaunmunro.co.uk
Hitman, the adaptation of the excellent computer game franchise of the same name, will undoubtedly have fans flocking in their droves to witness slick assassin, Agent 47, on the big screen. The horde of fans bring with them the minute glimmer of hope that it will join the few game-to-film adaptations that, frankly, haven’t been derivative, uninspired messes.
What is apparent very quickly is how preposterously miscast Timothy Olyphant is as the protagonist – he lacks the deep, suave voice of David Bateson, and I’m left wondering why Bateson himself wasn’t just cast as the lead. Of course, I then woke up and remembered that Olyphant, who, I have nothing against, is becoming quite the household name, whilst Bateson’s score sheet is distinctly empty. I cringed at the initial casting choice of Vin Diesel, yet having seen this film, and considering how my own favourite, John Malkovich, would never sign onto a project such as this (although he was in Eragon), I’m inclined to think Diesel wouldn’t have been so bad.
The basic premise of Hitman involves Inspector Mike Whittier (Dougray Scott) on the hunt for Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant), who is purported to have assassinated over one hundred people. 47, however, is a phantom, rarely leaving a trace, and even more rarely being outsmarted.
Hitman, like the games on which it is based, travels all over Europe, docking for a while in St. Petersburg, a central location of the second game in the series. As a militant fan of the games, this pleased me, but as soon 47 begins taking shots at the bar and interacts with a cute Russian woman, who professes to him the importance of drinking etiquette, I began to lose faith. This is a film which, like this year’s horrendous Redline, people will love to label as “Eurotrash”, and whilst I dislike the term, it is rather apt from the outset.
Fortunately, at least to an extent, Hitman attempts to remain in the vein of the games – Hitman is frequently as cold and callous as ever. His assassinations are swift, but mostly lend themselves to the brutality of the games. With its generous squibs of blood, and fair instances of breasts on display, this isn’t a PG13 endeavour, although the screen is hardly showered in blood either. As hard as everyone on board tries, I will never, for the life of me understand why screenwriter Skip Woods felt the need to have 47 partake in the ever-clichéd emotional shower scene.
Fairly early on in the film, the central storyline from the games is suggested (involving clones), yet, as with 47’s past, it is never expanded upon in any satisfying detail beyond a brief spell of grainy, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it flashbacks. Ergo, if you’ve never played the games, then I imagine that parts of this film will leave you utterly clueless – through and through, this is for gamers above all else.
Behind all of the tussles for jurisdiction and bad Russian accents, this could be a far worse adaptation – as a SWAT team descend upon 47, it is incredibly reminiscent of parts of the second and third games, even if it employs far more theatrics, and, to be precise, many more preposterous explosions. That said, the game counterpart of 47 was a clear-cut anti-hero, and here I’m not so sure. He effortlessly kills sixteen SWAT team members in the film’s opening battle, yet these men were not party to some sort of maleficent conspiracy – they were merely men doing their jobs. In the games, near enough everyone 47 killed deserved it.
Moral values of assassins aside, in investigating the supposed re-emergence of a man he killed just hours earlier, 47 comes into contact with the man’s girlfriend, Nika (Olga Kurylenko) who, as you can quite rightly guess, is the love interest of our story.
The contrivances just pile on from here, with insanely lucky escapes and ridiculously slick disguises. One can tolerate such mechanics in a game, yet for the filmic adaptation, I hoped that the helmers would possess the smarts to tone down the madness a tad, but alas, no dice.
Hitman comfortably transcends into the laughable when 47 manages to corner and best an assassin sent to kill him, yet rather than interrogate him (even if the chances of getting answers are slim), he simply riddles him with bullets, and then spouts a horrific one-liner. The manner in which he ends the assassin will cause many a cinemagoer to cringe.
47 soon enough finds himself aboard a train, embroiled in a truly strange swordfight against a band of seeming clones. For good, politically correct measure, the filmmakers are even sure to throw a black “clone” into the mix, despite the fact that these agents are all meant to look like 47, if any consideration is to be taken in regard to source material continuity.
Agent 47 is an inconsistent character to say the least – he, without hesitation, blows up an entire SWAT team, yet hesitates when faced with Inspector Whittier, someone who is a considerable threat to 47’s freedom. Moreover, Nika appears to slowly melt his heart, and the accompanying scenes of levity just feel like an affront; a slap in the face to fans of the games.
There is a shootout of considerable firepower about an hour into the film – it’s hyperactive, it’s loud, and it just doesn’t feel very Hitman at all. To top it all off, 47 even spouts another choice phrase before dropping the last goon in the room. The film’s sort-of saving grace is its finale, where I had little idea quite what was going to happen. It’s all appropriately tense, with the occasional wink and nod to the games, even if the action is far, far too frenzied.
Even fans of the games will be left scratching their heads at the sheer absurdity of the film’s ending – there is the high possibility of a sequel, although I hope this is not the case. Hitman is a generic action thriller with a tiresome, clichéd plot and Russian accents that are even worse. Upon seeing it, fans of the game may proclaim “I see what they did there”, but this film feels more like a fleeting reference to the series upon which it is based rather than an actual adaptation. Olyphant was completely miscast, and the only tolerable performance in this film was by Dougray Scott, who, frankly, shouldn’t be appearing in films such as this anyway.
Thanks for reading,
Reefer
Hitman, the adaptation of the excellent computer game franchise of the same name, will undoubtedly have fans flocking in their droves to witness slick assassin, Agent 47, on the big screen. The horde of fans bring with them the minute glimmer of hope that it will join the few game-to-film adaptations that, frankly, haven’t been derivative, uninspired messes.
What is apparent very quickly is how preposterously miscast Timothy Olyphant is as the protagonist – he lacks the deep, suave voice of David Bateson, and I’m left wondering why Bateson himself wasn’t just cast as the lead. Of course, I then woke up and remembered that Olyphant, who, I have nothing against, is becoming quite the household name, whilst Bateson’s score sheet is distinctly empty. I cringed at the initial casting choice of Vin Diesel, yet having seen this film, and considering how my own favourite, John Malkovich, would never sign onto a project such as this (although he was in Eragon), I’m inclined to think Diesel wouldn’t have been so bad.
The basic premise of Hitman involves Inspector Mike Whittier (Dougray Scott) on the hunt for Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant), who is purported to have assassinated over one hundred people. 47, however, is a phantom, rarely leaving a trace, and even more rarely being outsmarted.
Hitman, like the games on which it is based, travels all over Europe, docking for a while in St. Petersburg, a central location of the second game in the series. As a militant fan of the games, this pleased me, but as soon 47 begins taking shots at the bar and interacts with a cute Russian woman, who professes to him the importance of drinking etiquette, I began to lose faith. This is a film which, like this year’s horrendous Redline, people will love to label as “Eurotrash”, and whilst I dislike the term, it is rather apt from the outset.
Fortunately, at least to an extent, Hitman attempts to remain in the vein of the games – Hitman is frequently as cold and callous as ever. His assassinations are swift, but mostly lend themselves to the brutality of the games. With its generous squibs of blood, and fair instances of breasts on display, this isn’t a PG13 endeavour, although the screen is hardly showered in blood either. As hard as everyone on board tries, I will never, for the life of me understand why screenwriter Skip Woods felt the need to have 47 partake in the ever-clichéd emotional shower scene.
Fairly early on in the film, the central storyline from the games is suggested (involving clones), yet, as with 47’s past, it is never expanded upon in any satisfying detail beyond a brief spell of grainy, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it flashbacks. Ergo, if you’ve never played the games, then I imagine that parts of this film will leave you utterly clueless – through and through, this is for gamers above all else.
Behind all of the tussles for jurisdiction and bad Russian accents, this could be a far worse adaptation – as a SWAT team descend upon 47, it is incredibly reminiscent of parts of the second and third games, even if it employs far more theatrics, and, to be precise, many more preposterous explosions. That said, the game counterpart of 47 was a clear-cut anti-hero, and here I’m not so sure. He effortlessly kills sixteen SWAT team members in the film’s opening battle, yet these men were not party to some sort of maleficent conspiracy – they were merely men doing their jobs. In the games, near enough everyone 47 killed deserved it.
Moral values of assassins aside, in investigating the supposed re-emergence of a man he killed just hours earlier, 47 comes into contact with the man’s girlfriend, Nika (Olga Kurylenko) who, as you can quite rightly guess, is the love interest of our story.
The contrivances just pile on from here, with insanely lucky escapes and ridiculously slick disguises. One can tolerate such mechanics in a game, yet for the filmic adaptation, I hoped that the helmers would possess the smarts to tone down the madness a tad, but alas, no dice.
Hitman comfortably transcends into the laughable when 47 manages to corner and best an assassin sent to kill him, yet rather than interrogate him (even if the chances of getting answers are slim), he simply riddles him with bullets, and then spouts a horrific one-liner. The manner in which he ends the assassin will cause many a cinemagoer to cringe.
47 soon enough finds himself aboard a train, embroiled in a truly strange swordfight against a band of seeming clones. For good, politically correct measure, the filmmakers are even sure to throw a black “clone” into the mix, despite the fact that these agents are all meant to look like 47, if any consideration is to be taken in regard to source material continuity.
Agent 47 is an inconsistent character to say the least – he, without hesitation, blows up an entire SWAT team, yet hesitates when faced with Inspector Whittier, someone who is a considerable threat to 47’s freedom. Moreover, Nika appears to slowly melt his heart, and the accompanying scenes of levity just feel like an affront; a slap in the face to fans of the games.
There is a shootout of considerable firepower about an hour into the film – it’s hyperactive, it’s loud, and it just doesn’t feel very Hitman at all. To top it all off, 47 even spouts another choice phrase before dropping the last goon in the room. The film’s sort-of saving grace is its finale, where I had little idea quite what was going to happen. It’s all appropriately tense, with the occasional wink and nod to the games, even if the action is far, far too frenzied.
Even fans of the games will be left scratching their heads at the sheer absurdity of the film’s ending – there is the high possibility of a sequel, although I hope this is not the case. Hitman is a generic action thriller with a tiresome, clichéd plot and Russian accents that are even worse. Upon seeing it, fans of the game may proclaim “I see what they did there”, but this film feels more like a fleeting reference to the series upon which it is based rather than an actual adaptation. Olyphant was completely miscast, and the only tolerable performance in this film was by Dougray Scott, who, frankly, shouldn’t be appearing in films such as this anyway.
Thanks for reading,
Reefer