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"Those annoying hotmail chain letters!"

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Mon 14/10/02 at 17:07
Regular
Posts: 787
Hello, my name is Bazzman. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on exams, lack of sexual activity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by kitchen appliances, and this is all because i didn't send out 50 billion forwards sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them, that poor 6 year old girl in South Africa with lung cancer brought on by secondhand smoke from the cigarettes smoked by the big bad men who kidnapped her and took pictures of her for use on their website will get 6 pence every time you send me the letter. (hmm yeah ok)

Also there are the ones where you will get money if you send them.. do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" e-mail to a payment? if you do how stupid are you?

LOL! The all time favourite is if you send this to 3000000 people in 2 seconds you get a free wish... Ooh, look here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every girl i think of! (bzzzz, here those flies.. we know what flies are attracted too! :P)

So basically, this message is a big GET A LIFE to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my flat and shave me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 AD and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.

If you're going to forward something, at least send something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a pound from some "omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.

I don't care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

So anyway.. here are tohe four main types you will tend to recieve:

TYPE 1:
(Scroll down) Make a wish!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

. Really, go on and make one!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

. Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

. Wish something else!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

. Not that, you pervert!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

. Is your finger getting tired yet?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

STOP!!!!

(Wasn't that fun? : Hope you made a great wish.:)

Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 50968545648 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!

Here's how it goes:

Send this to 1 person: One person will be annoyed at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be annoyed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be annoyed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be annoyed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.
Thanks!!!!

Good Luck!!!


TYPE 2

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.

You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for everytime you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.

Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent and this is all lies. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 7 seconds.

Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.

Thanks again!!


TYPE 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no e-mail then and probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works.Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

Made Up Horror Story #1 Balking Tollocks was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smellnasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!

Made Up Horror Story #2 Calking Trap , a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey,some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and was cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To You!!! Remember, you could end up like Tollocks and Trap did. Just send this letter to all of your gullable friends, and everything will be OK.

TYPE 4:

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.

Friends
A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like poop,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your crap life and internet skills,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be eaten by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English... no sorry that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.

Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll be eaten by wild donkeys with rabies. There.

Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore it. If it's a personal joke from friends or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna make people feel guilty (i.e. the limbless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e. Balking Tollocks who ended up falling down a waterfall) just delete it.

Do yourself and everyone else in the world a favor and stop these chain letters as Im fed up with them...

**Bazzman has spoken**

(sorry if this offends anyone it is only meant as joke)
Mon 14/10/02 at 17:07
Regular
"I'm Back!!"
Posts: 1,973
Hello, my name is Bazzman. I am suffering from rare and deadly diseases, poor scores on exams, lack of sexual activity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by kitchen appliances, and this is all because i didn't send out 50 billion forwards sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them, that poor 6 year old girl in South Africa with lung cancer brought on by secondhand smoke from the cigarettes smoked by the big bad men who kidnapped her and took pictures of her for use on their website will get 6 pence every time you send me the letter. (hmm yeah ok)

Also there are the ones where you will get money if you send them.. do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and everyone you send "his" e-mail to a payment? if you do how stupid are you?

LOL! The all time favourite is if you send this to 3000000 people in 2 seconds you get a free wish... Ooh, look here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every girl i think of! (bzzzz, here those flies.. we know what flies are attracted too! :P)

So basically, this message is a big GET A LIFE to all the people out there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my flat and shave me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 AD and was brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous streak of blatant stupidity.

If you're going to forward something, at least send something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a pound from some "omniscient being" forwards about 90 times.

I don't care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own unpopularity.

So anyway.. here are tohe four main types you will tend to recieve:

TYPE 1:
(Scroll down) Make a wish!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

. Really, go on and make one!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

. Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

. Wish something else!!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

. Not that, you pervert!!

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

. Is your finger getting tired yet?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

STOP!!!!

(Wasn't that fun? : Hope you made a great wish.:)

Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if you don't send this to 50968545648 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!!

Here's how it goes:

Send this to 1 person: One person will be annoyed at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be annoyed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be annoyed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may form a plot on your life.
Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be annoyed off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house.
Thanks!!!!

Good Luck!!!


TYPE 2

Hello, and thank you for reading this letter.

You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for everytime you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund.

Remember, we have no way of counting letters sent and this is all lies. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 7 seconds.

Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly.

Thanks again!!


TYPE 3

Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no e-mail then and probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain letters. So this is how it works.Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:

Made Up Horror Story #1 Balking Tollocks was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smellnasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!

Made Up Horror Story #2 Calking Trap , a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey,some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and was cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To You!!! Remember, you could end up like Tollocks and Trap did. Just send this letter to all of your gullable friends, and everything will be OK.

TYPE 4:

As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.

Friends
A friend is someone who is always at your side,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you smell like poop,
A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,
A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your crap life and internet skills,
A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be eaten by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs,
A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the check and leaves and doesn't speak much English... no sorry that's the cleaning lady,
A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.

Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll be eaten by wild donkeys with rabies. There.

Remember, the moral of the story is, if you get a chain letter, ignore it. If it's a personal joke from friends or something, send it, sure, but if it's gonna make people feel guilty (i.e. the limbless boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen) or nervous (i.e. Balking Tollocks who ended up falling down a waterfall) just delete it.

Do yourself and everyone else in the world a favor and stop these chain letters as Im fed up with them...

**Bazzman has spoken**

(sorry if this offends anyone it is only meant as joke)
Mon 14/10/02 at 17:10
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
"A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself, "

That happens a lot to me.
Mon 14/10/02 at 17:11
Regular
"I'm Back!!"
Posts: 1,973
gerrid wrote:
> "A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled
> yourself, "
>
> That happens a lot to me.


lmao!! :)
Mon 14/10/02 at 17:21
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my flat and shave me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was started by Jesus in 5 AD

Your post is funny and everything but I have to point out that Jesus dies in the Year 0 - AD stands for after death......Unless he wrote it from beyong the grave, which the chain letter people probably believe!

You know whats really funny, Anti-chain letter chainletters
I got one saying forward this to 20 people and once we have 1 million we will complain against the people who start chain letters. Lol. bizzare sad lifes some people have.
Mon 14/10/02 at 17:24
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
No. AD is marked by the year when he was born, and the Roman Christians mucked up the calender andyway, so you can't measure these things properly.
Mon 14/10/02 at 17:26
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
gerrid wrote:
> No. AD is marked by the year when he was born, and the Roman
> Christians mucked up the calender andyway, so you can't measure these
> things properly.

My damn school lied to me, thats it, im taking Mr petrol bomb to pay them a visit!
Mon 14/10/02 at 17:28
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
By the way Bazzman - this is a great post, I recon it deserves the GAD prize!
Mon 14/10/02 at 17:30
Regular
"bit of a brain"
Posts: 18,933
BHR Kyz22
Mon 14/10/02 at 17:30
Regular
"I'm Back!!"
Posts: 1,973
well! im glad people agree that they are annoying!
Mon 14/10/02 at 17:31
Regular
"Z will be here soon"
Posts: 7,562
gerrid wrote:
> BHR Kyz22

Whats BHR please? Im a newbie!

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