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'[Game] Aliens: Colonial Marines 360/PS3/PC'

This thread has been linked to the game 'Aliens: Colonial Marines'.
Tue 12/02/13 at 12:45:
Regular
"Braaains"
Posts: 437
I'll endeavour to cover this game without peppering the review with quotes from the movies, but it won't be easy. Partly because the whole game itself is filled with references to the 'Aliens' film it's supposedly a sequel to. 'But what's wrong with that?' you might well ask. Because the makers of the game seem to have spent all their time throwing in references - you get to find Bishop's severed legs within the first few minutes of the game for example - and precisely zero time on making the game any good.

Yes, I'll get this out of the way right now. Aliens: Colonial Marines is a terrible, terrible game. You shouldn't buy it, because it's that bad. Still reading? Okay, I'll explain things in a little more detail. The game casts you, unsurprisingly, as a colonial marine, a member of a futuristic military force charged with finding out what happened to the marines in 'Aliens'. What follows is an extended tour through the locations featured in that film, with a few other places thrown in for good measure. Though unlike 'Aliens', where they sent in an entire team of marines, the game instead starts with you being sent - on your own - onto the Sulaco.

Hang on - on your own? Yes, it's as daft as it sounds. You do end up teaming up with other marines at points, but you quite often end up separated, either through due to some contrived event, or because your fellow marines have been killed off due to scripted events. Colonial Marines is by no means the squad based shooter that was originally promised, although that may be a good thing given how dumb your fellow marines are, often getting in your way and, occasionally, stuck on the scenery.

However, the stupidity of the other marines isn't the first thing you'll notice. No, the very first thing that hits you upon loading the game up is how bad the graphics are. The PS3 version has jagged edges everywhere, and 360 and PC players have reported that the game looks equally bad on their machines. The game itself has been in development for 5 years - yes, really - and the graphics do indeed look that old. The game's opening credits in fact give four studios credit for designing the game, which is never a good sign. The walking animations are pretty poor too, with the marines often looking like they're sliding around on an ice rink.

However, I could forgive the game's poor graphics if the game as a whole wasn't just plain bad. The storyline is awful, with one of the film's main characters being brought back in the most contrived manner possible. And the Aliens themselves are incredibly dumb, which kills any tension the game might otherwise have had. Aliens VS Predator, which was released in 2010, and which is superior in every way, had the aliens actually using the ceilings to attack you, and running around to try and get the drop on you. The aliens in this game, however, just tend to drop to the ground, and run at you, right into your line of fire, making little effort to flank you at all. As several other reviewers have already noted, it turns the game into a tedious shooting gallery. The makers have thrown in a couple of new Alien varieties. but they don't really add anything to things. In fact, it makes this worse in a way - you spend part of the sewer level watching these odd aliens wobble about on two legs, like they've got arthritis. The fact that the levels are fairly linear - compared to AVP - doesn't help, either.

So is there nothing good to be said about Colonial Marines? The multiplayer's okay, I'll give it that, especially when you're pitching aliens vs marines, although if the team you're playing against don't know how to climb the walls, the game become less fun. However, the multiplayer itself is missing a survival 'horde' mode, which was present in Aliens VS Predator. Instead, Sega have chosen to sell this seperately. Oh, and you can buy a season pass that will contain new downloadable content, including this mode probably, for about twenty quid. Yeah, I think I'll pass. It does have a split screen mode, but if you want a decent game which lets you fight waves of enemies, you can get Left 4 Dead for PC or 360, the latter of which also supports split screen.

Aliens: Colonial Marines is a waste of money. It's not scary, or even remotely enjoyable, and wouldn't be worth it even at a budget price. As a full price game, this is travesty and a waste of a licence. You're far better off buying Aliens on Blu-Ray or DVD, and Aliens VS Predator on PS3, 360, or PC. Which does include a survival/horde mode, incidentally. No matter how tempted you might be to buy this one, no matter how much of an Aliens fan you are, give this a wide berth. Game over man, game over. Damn.

Pros:
It's Aliens.

Cons:
Terrible graphics.
Terrible AI.
It's not scary.
It's a waste of a licence.
It's buggy.

Score: 3 out of 10.
Tue 12/02/13 at 17:00:
Staff Moderator
"Meh..."
Posts: 1,466
Hannard wrote:


Also, here's a video showing just how buggy/broken this game is - not mine. Contains swears.

Youtube Shenanigans

EDIT: And in case anyone's wondering, the Aliens are just as stupid - wandering right towards you down the corridor - in the game's Ultimate Badass Mode.


Well, that made me laugh...

All the things wrong with that are all the things that the likes of Doom3 and F.E.A.R. managed to avoid...9 YEARS AGO!!!

"Aliens: Dancing Marines" might have been a better title. What's with the little jig round the dead alien bodies? Is it some kind of "gloating" move?
Tue 12/02/13 at 16:22:
Regular
"Braaains"
Posts: 437
chasfh wrote:
Disappointing, truly disappointing...
What happened?! Even a complete moron should be able to make at least a half decent stab at a franchise with such a rich history and background.


Gearbox are trying to blame a third party company who they apparently farmed the single player out to. I might believe them except that Duke Nukem Forever was similarly disappointing. Either they did farm it out, in which case it's still their own damn faulty for doing so - or they didn't, in which case they're trying to blame someone else. Either way, it's not good.

Also, here's a video showing just how buggy/broken this game is - not mine. Contains swears.

Youtube Shenanigans

EDIT: And in case anyone's wondering, the Aliens are just as stupid - wandering right towards you down the corridor - in the game's Ultimate Badass Mode.

ALSO: Several people have pointed out how the non-playable 'demo' shown off at various shows looks far better than the final product, suggesting there have been some shenanigans happening elsewhere. Was the demo pre-rendered in some way? And if not, how the hell did it get worse? It's certainly non representative of the final product.

See for yourself
Tue 12/02/13 at 14:04:
Staff Moderator
"Meh..."
Posts: 1,466
Disappointing, truly disappointing...

I was really looking forward to this game, some of the initial screenshots looked awesome, with excellent lighting effects and first rate texturing, and the description of the gameplay was more than just promising.

What happened?! Even a complete moron should be able to make at least a half decent stab at a franchise with such a rich history and background.

Come to think of it, even a complete moron should know that the fans of such a franchise wouldn't accept anything less than excellence. Let's hope that this isn't the start of a downward trend in the quality of games...

Pathetic.
Tue 12/02/13 at 12:45:
Regular
"Braaains"
Posts: 437
I'll endeavour to cover this game without peppering the review with quotes from the movies, but it won't be easy. Partly because the whole game itself is filled with references to the 'Aliens' film it's supposedly a sequel to. 'But what's wrong with that?' you might well ask. Because the makers of the game seem to have spent all their time throwing in references - you get to find Bishop's severed legs within the first few minutes of the game for example - and precisely zero time on making the game any good.

Yes, I'll get this out of the way right now. Aliens: Colonial Marines is a terrible, terrible game. You shouldn't buy it, because it's that bad. Still reading? Okay, I'll explain things in a little more detail. The game casts you, unsurprisingly, as a colonial marine, a member of a futuristic military force charged with finding out what happened to the marines in 'Aliens'. What follows is an extended tour through the locations featured in that film, with a few other places thrown in for good measure. Though unlike 'Aliens', where they sent in an entire team of marines, the game instead starts with you being sent - on your own - onto the Sulaco.

Hang on - on your own? Yes, it's as daft as it sounds. You do end up teaming up with other marines at points, but you quite often end up separated, either through due to some contrived event, or because your fellow marines have been killed off due to scripted events. Colonial Marines is by no means the squad based shooter that was originally promised, although that may be a good thing given how dumb your fellow marines are, often getting in your way and, occasionally, stuck on the scenery.

However, the stupidity of the other marines isn't the first thing you'll notice. No, the very first thing that hits you upon loading the game up is how bad the graphics are. The PS3 version has jagged edges everywhere, and 360 and PC players have reported that the game looks equally bad on their machines. The game itself has been in development for 5 years - yes, really - and the graphics do indeed look that old. The game's opening credits in fact give four studios credit for designing the game, which is never a good sign. The walking animations are pretty poor too, with the marines often looking like they're sliding around on an ice rink.

However, I could forgive the game's poor graphics if the game as a whole wasn't just plain bad. The storyline is awful, with one of the film's main characters being brought back in the most contrived manner possible. And the Aliens themselves are incredibly dumb, which kills any tension the game might otherwise have had. Aliens VS Predator, which was released in 2010, and which is superior in every way, had the aliens actually using the ceilings to attack you, and running around to try and get the drop on you. The aliens in this game, however, just tend to drop to the ground, and run at you, right into your line of fire, making little effort to flank you at all. As several other reviewers have already noted, it turns the game into a tedious shooting gallery. The makers have thrown in a couple of new Alien varieties. but they don't really add anything to things. In fact, it makes this worse in a way - you spend part of the sewer level watching these odd aliens wobble about on two legs, like they've got arthritis. The fact that the levels are fairly linear - compared to AVP - doesn't help, either.

So is there nothing good to be said about Colonial Marines? The multiplayer's okay, I'll give it that, especially when you're pitching aliens vs marines, although if the team you're playing against don't know how to climb the walls, the game become less fun. However, the multiplayer itself is missing a survival 'horde' mode, which was present in Aliens VS Predator. Instead, Sega have chosen to sell this seperately. Oh, and you can buy a season pass that will contain new downloadable content, including this mode probably, for about twenty quid. Yeah, I think I'll pass. It does have a split screen mode, but if you want a decent game which lets you fight waves of enemies, you can get Left 4 Dead for PC or 360, the latter of which also supports split screen.

Aliens: Colonial Marines is a waste of money. It's not scary, or even remotely enjoyable, and wouldn't be worth it even at a budget price. As a full price game, this is travesty and a waste of a licence. You're far better off buying Aliens on Blu-Ray or DVD, and Aliens VS Predator on PS3, 360, or PC. Which does include a survival/horde mode, incidentally. No matter how tempted you might be to buy this one, no matter how much of an Aliens fan you are, give this a wide berth. Game over man, game over. Damn.

Pros:
It's Aliens.

Cons:
Terrible graphics.
Terrible AI.
It's not scary.
It's a waste of a licence.
It's buggy.

Score: 3 out of 10.

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