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Details of the incident are still sketchy at this current time, but it is believed that Sonic, Sega’s flagship mascot, was taking his usual speedy 200mph jog along the M25 motorway when he was hit head-on by an oncoming vehicle, most likely a Reliant Robin.
Detective John Kimble of the ChiPs-style M25 transport police said it was a “particularly nasty incident and certainly a gruesome and painful death, Reliant Robins are the number one killer of hedgehogs on the roads due to their hilarious middle wheel. It’s believed that Sonic was running along the fast lane of the motorway in the wrong direction in order to test his reflexes and running skills by running underneath the many vehicles, and he didn’t expect to come face to face with the aforementioned middle wheel of the Reliant Robin.”
Detective Kimble later quipped, “It goes to show that if you’re feather-brained enough to play chicken against a Robin, it’s more than likely you’ll end up vulture fodder.”
Further details emerging from the incident is that it could have been Sonic’s long-suffering sidekick Tails who was at the driver seat of the Robin, so this might not have been an accident, and is being treated as a highly suspicious act of revenge for years of living in a icon’s shadow.
Stars from the video games industry have said of their shock and sorrow at the tragedy. Long time friend, fellow gaming icon and pill popping yellow dot Pacman paid tribute to his great friend, saying, “bleep, bleep, brrzzzz, blip, bleeeeeep pling.”
Nintendo mascot and part time giant monkey/lizard slayer Mario said, “We were once bitter enemies, but became good friends in recent times when Sonic crawled over to Nintendo due to Sega’s financial failings. I haven’t been this sad since the Virtual Boy debacle. Mamma Mia.”
Dr. Robotnik on the other hand expressed his glee at the demise of his arch nemesis, chortling, “After all these years of trying to destroy the little rodent, he’s finally gone. Now I can sit back, play with my Mean Bean Machine, rule the world and have a schmoke and a pancake.”
Sonic’s career began with a bang when he appeared in the highly successful speedy side scrolling style over substance Sonic games on the Sega Master System and Megadrive. Some poor games like Sonic 3d, Sonic CD, Sonic Spinball, and Sonic Vs The Giant Mechanical Silverfish From Mars were less of a success though, and showed the sign of things to come.
Sonic’s recent next-gen games have been disappointing, and he’s failed to recreate the heady days of his 16-bit success, and has resorted to re-releasing his past 2d glories on the Gamecube, opening supermarkets, and advertising various animal health products in the back of Sunday newspapers. Ironically for the spiky blue mascot, his next gaming project was to be a Twisted Metal meets Mario Kart style racing game called ‘Sonic Roadkill’, but alas, instead of starring in Roadkill, he became it.
His gaming career has been cut tragically short, and many stars from the video game character community will be in attendance at the funeral (which will also be broadcast live over the internet), where they’ll pay their last respects to the squashed hedgehog.
Speedy the Hedgehog, Sonic’s second cousin, who’s been body double and stuntman in a number of previous Sonic games, will take over as cover for all booked engagements for the time being, but a proper official replacement will be sought as soon as possible. Pacey the Porcupine is understood to be the favourite to land the job, but Swifty the Squirrel is also in the running, along with a number of other rodents/marsupials with quick related pseudonyms, but alas, they’ll never be the same as Sonic.
Sonic R.I.P.
But the sad fact is Sonic IS dead - until SEGA get shut of all his useless side-kicks and go back to a purely Sonic speed game without all those interferring and game-ruining buddies of his.
> Mario never really appealed to me as a character. The games were good
> but the idea of a fat plumber saving people just never appealed
But the idea of a blue Hedgehog moving at impossible speeds is perfectly respectable.
But if it came down to me having the money to buy a Sonic game or a Mario game, I would choose Sonic every time.
> Seems hard to believe after he could smash down cars in the first
> level of Sonic Adventure.
Yes, but he obviously didn't reckon on the might of the all-powerful Reliant Robin.
Details of the incident are still sketchy at this current time, but it is believed that Sonic, Sega’s flagship mascot, was taking his usual speedy 200mph jog along the M25 motorway when he was hit head-on by an oncoming vehicle, most likely a Reliant Robin.
Detective John Kimble of the ChiPs-style M25 transport police said it was a “particularly nasty incident and certainly a gruesome and painful death, Reliant Robins are the number one killer of hedgehogs on the roads due to their hilarious middle wheel. It’s believed that Sonic was running along the fast lane of the motorway in the wrong direction in order to test his reflexes and running skills by running underneath the many vehicles, and he didn’t expect to come face to face with the aforementioned middle wheel of the Reliant Robin.”
Detective Kimble later quipped, “It goes to show that if you’re feather-brained enough to play chicken against a Robin, it’s more than likely you’ll end up vulture fodder.”
Further details emerging from the incident is that it could have been Sonic’s long-suffering sidekick Tails who was at the driver seat of the Robin, so this might not have been an accident, and is being treated as a highly suspicious act of revenge for years of living in a icon’s shadow.
Stars from the video games industry have said of their shock and sorrow at the tragedy. Long time friend, fellow gaming icon and pill popping yellow dot Pacman paid tribute to his great friend, saying, “bleep, bleep, brrzzzz, blip, bleeeeeep pling.”
Nintendo mascot and part time giant monkey/lizard slayer Mario said, “We were once bitter enemies, but became good friends in recent times when Sonic crawled over to Nintendo due to Sega’s financial failings. I haven’t been this sad since the Virtual Boy debacle. Mamma Mia.”
Dr. Robotnik on the other hand expressed his glee at the demise of his arch nemesis, chortling, “After all these years of trying to destroy the little rodent, he’s finally gone. Now I can sit back, play with my Mean Bean Machine, rule the world and have a schmoke and a pancake.”
Sonic’s career began with a bang when he appeared in the highly successful speedy side scrolling style over substance Sonic games on the Sega Master System and Megadrive. Some poor games like Sonic 3d, Sonic CD, Sonic Spinball, and Sonic Vs The Giant Mechanical Silverfish From Mars were less of a success though, and showed the sign of things to come.
Sonic’s recent next-gen games have been disappointing, and he’s failed to recreate the heady days of his 16-bit success, and has resorted to re-releasing his past 2d glories on the Gamecube, opening supermarkets, and advertising various animal health products in the back of Sunday newspapers. Ironically for the spiky blue mascot, his next gaming project was to be a Twisted Metal meets Mario Kart style racing game called ‘Sonic Roadkill’, but alas, instead of starring in Roadkill, he became it.
His gaming career has been cut tragically short, and many stars from the video game character community will be in attendance at the funeral (which will also be broadcast live over the internet), where they’ll pay their last respects to the squashed hedgehog.
Speedy the Hedgehog, Sonic’s second cousin, who’s been body double and stuntman in a number of previous Sonic games, will take over as cover for all booked engagements for the time being, but a proper official replacement will be sought as soon as possible. Pacey the Porcupine is understood to be the favourite to land the job, but Swifty the Squirrel is also in the running, along with a number of other rodents/marsupials with quick related pseudonyms, but alas, they’ll never be the same as Sonic.
Sonic R.I.P.