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This thread has been linked to the game 'New Super Mario Bros'.
Hi there, I'm Martin Bashir, and today I shall be interviewing gaming legend Mario.
So, Mario, you've been a video game character for over twenty years now, and are a huge icon, familiar to millions. How does that make you feel?
Well Martin, it's great, to give all of those kids pleasure.
So you like to pleasure kids do you Mario?
That's not what I meant Martin, I mean that I'm happy that my games bring joy to children.
But its not just children that you like to entertain, is it?
Of course not Martin, if adults like to play my games too, that's great.
I'm not talking about games Mario.
So what are you talking about then?
Well look at you, the big moustache, the cap, and the dungarees. You're clearly modelled on a porn star, ready to service an old boiler.
No. That's preposterous!
Okay then Mario, do you feel that you're a good role model to children then?
Of course! Fighting to beat the enemy and succeeding is what I'm all about Martin.
So what about the animal abuse then?
What animal abuse?
Well Mario, often have I seen you jump on those funny mushroom creatures, and kick turtles in their shells. Do you think children should treat their pets this way?
No Martin, you've got it all wrong, these aren't pets, they're my enemies.
What about Yoshi then Mario?
He's my friend!
Really? Then how come you used to punch him in the back of the head to make his tongue stick out? What about feeding him fruits that make him spew multicoloured liquids every where? That can't do his digestive system any good, can it?
He likes it, it's what he's supposed to do.
Okay then, lets move away from what you do to animals.
But...
No Mario, you've made your position quite clear. So, how do you get on with Princess Peach?
Ah! She is a great friend of mine. I'm always rescuing her when Bowser captures her.
So you wouldn't harm her then?
Never!
Funny you should say that Mario, because I can clearly recall you swinging at her with a baseball bat, in Super Smash Bros: Melee.
That's different, it's the idea of the game.
Did Pauline like your little woman bashing game?
What?
Remember Pauline, your girlfriend back in the Donkey Kong games. What happened to her? Did you hit her?
No!
Did you beat her to death, is that why we don't see her anymore?
She wasn't extravagant enough, Miyamoto thought I should be rescuing princesses...
Ah, so you dropped her at the first hint of fame, very noble of you Mario.
You've got it all wrong Martin! That's just a game, just sport.
So you consider yourself to be a sportsman.
Yes.
A fair sportsman?
Well yes, I do like a good race, or game of tennis.
Do you consider it fair to use performance-enhancing drugs?
What Martin?
Mushrooms Mario. Do you take mushrooms to boost your performance?
Well yes, they give me a boost.
And you think that this is the kind of action that your young fans should be watching? Shouldn't you play fair?
But you're supposed to take them...
I don't think that it's really appropriate, do you Mario?
It's part of the rules!
Your rules? Let's move on to your appearance.
Look, I'm not a closet porn star, I've already explained this to you.
I believe the evidence speaks for itself Mario, but I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about your plastic surgery!
I've never had plastic surgery, that's outrageous Martin!
Do you really expect me to believe that? The pictures speak for themselves. Look at you in Donkey Kong, then look at Mario Sunshine, you're a totally different person!
Well, there have been graphical enhancements over the years
So you admit it?
No Martin, I'm still the same as I was back in the 80's, it's just that the graphics can now represent me better.
That sounds unlikely Mario.
But Martin, it's the truth.
Well Mario, it seems to me that you and the truth have been estranged for quite some time. I thank you for granting me this interview.
But Martin, I haven't been able to get my side of things across.
Goodbye Mario. Well, who would have thought that such a legend would reveal so many skeletons in his closet? Thought of by many as the ultimate gaming hero, he's really a very sick man.
I'm Martin Bashir, please join me again next time when I confront Link, of Legend of Zelda fame, and ask why when he became adult Link, he still dressed in green felt, like some kind of fairy.
So, Mario, you've been a video game character for over twenty years now, and are a huge icon, familiar to millions. How does that make you feel?
Well Martin, it's great, to give all of those kids pleasure.
So you like to pleasure kids do you Mario?
That's not what I meant Martin, I mean that I'm happy that my games bring joy to children.
But its not just children that you like to entertain, is it?
Of course not Martin, if adults like to play my games too, that's great.
I'm not talking about games Mario.
So what are you talking about then?
Well look at you, the big moustache, the cap, and the dungarees. You're clearly modelled on a porn star, ready to service an old boiler.
No. That's preposterous!
Okay then Mario, do you feel that you're a good role model to children then?
Of course! Fighting to beat the enemy and succeeding is what I'm all about Martin.
So what about the animal abuse then?
What animal abuse?
Well Mario, often have I seen you jump on those funny mushroom creatures, and kick turtles in their shells. Do you think children should treat their pets this way?
No Martin, you've got it all wrong, these aren't pets, they're my enemies.
What about Yoshi then Mario?
He's my friend!
Really? Then how come you used to punch him in the back of the head to make his tongue stick out? What about feeding him fruits that make him spew multicoloured liquids every where? That can't do his digestive system any good, can it?
He likes it, it's what he's supposed to do.
Okay then, lets move away from what you do to animals.
But...
No Mario, you've made your position quite clear. So, how do you get on with Princess Peach?
Ah! She is a great friend of mine. I'm always rescuing her when Bowser captures her.
So you wouldn't harm her then?
Never!
Funny you should say that Mario, because I can clearly recall you swinging at her with a baseball bat, in Super Smash Bros: Melee.
That's different, it's the idea of the game.
Did Pauline like your little woman bashing game?
What?
Remember Pauline, your girlfriend back in the Donkey Kong games. What happened to her? Did you hit her?
No!
Did you beat her to death, is that why we don't see her anymore?
She wasn't extravagant enough, Miyamoto thought I should be rescuing princesses...
Ah, so you dropped her at the first hint of fame, very noble of you Mario.
You've got it all wrong Martin! That's just a game, just sport.
So you consider yourself to be a sportsman.
Yes.
A fair sportsman?
Well yes, I do like a good race, or game of tennis.
Do you consider it fair to use performance-enhancing drugs?
What Martin?
Mushrooms Mario. Do you take mushrooms to boost your performance?
Well yes, they give me a boost.
And you think that this is the kind of action that your young fans should be watching? Shouldn't you play fair?
But you're supposed to take them...
I don't think that it's really appropriate, do you Mario?
It's part of the rules!
Your rules? Let's move on to your appearance.
Look, I'm not a closet porn star, I've already explained this to you.
I believe the evidence speaks for itself Mario, but I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about your plastic surgery!
I've never had plastic surgery, that's outrageous Martin!
Do you really expect me to believe that? The pictures speak for themselves. Look at you in Donkey Kong, then look at Mario Sunshine, you're a totally different person!
Well, there have been graphical enhancements over the years
So you admit it?
No Martin, I'm still the same as I was back in the 80's, it's just that the graphics can now represent me better.
That sounds unlikely Mario.
But Martin, it's the truth.
Well Mario, it seems to me that you and the truth have been estranged for quite some time. I thank you for granting me this interview.
But Martin, I haven't been able to get my side of things across.
Goodbye Mario. Well, who would have thought that such a legend would reveal so many skeletons in his closet? Thought of by many as the ultimate gaming hero, he's really a very sick man.
I'm Martin Bashir, please join me again next time when I confront Link, of Legend of Zelda fame, and ask why when he became adult Link, he still dressed in green felt, like some kind of fairy.
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Well, i have a total of... 0 GAD'a.
MWWHHAAAHHAAA!
MWWHHAAAHHAAA!
TOP GAMEADAY WINNER
Meka Dragon 37 wins!
That was clever Meka... too clever... in fact I think I should think of something new.
hmmmmmm.
Meka Dragon 37 wins!
That was clever Meka... too clever... in fact I think I should think of something new.
hmmmmmm.
Rather obvious yet greatly entertaining non-GAD attempt. By the length I guess that.
Oh, just give him the GAD and be on with it.
*Thinks about his idea's of animal cruelty in the Mario games that he thought up last night*
YOu stole it!! YOU STOLE IT FROM MIND!!! HACKER!!!!!
*Leaves note*
*Runs*
Note says. Was good though, but it was my great animal cruelty idea's that made that. Yup.
YOu stole it!! YOU STOLE IT FROM MIND!!! HACKER!!!!!
*Leaves note*
*Runs*
Note says. Was good though, but it was my great animal cruelty idea's that made that. Yup.
lmfao!
That was so funny, especially the wife beating part, lol.
That was so funny, especially the wife beating part, lol.
T'is this post or El Blokey's one for GAD
Nice one :0)
Nice one :0)
Top class.
You should write a book of your best gaming related posts.
:-)
You should write a book of your best gaming related posts.
:-)
Excellenté
Really funny, well done.
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