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After previous allegations of Shigsy creating Super Hamster Ball, all questions are left answered with the announcement of SMP.
The game is said to involve many pole related primate madness, the first minigame announced was ‘Super Pogo pole’ where a pole is graphically inserted into a small ape during a cut scene. The idea of the minigame is to collect doctors by bouncing through hospitals collecting powerups along the way. When enough doctors are gathered a new cut scene is displayed showing how the pole is separated from the screaming chimp. Super Pogo Stick is definitely not designed for the weak stomached, or anyone who isn’t a mass murder, or professional doctor, in fact I couldn’t recommend this to anyone, I was so sick I was greeted by the food I devoured last year…. I cant get the scenes out of my head…. Somebody please, get a gun…
Moving swiftly on, the next mini game announced for SMP is ‘Super Javelin’. This innovative game involves the gamer to throw poles at an onslaught of rabid rogues. It really must be played to believed. I can almost envision the first time I lobbed a 6-foot pole and it penetrated the innocent monkey mid-air, causing it to plummet to the ground, blaring almost orgasmically, descending into the mists of hell. I had flashbacks of the monkey that nicked me peanuts in Gibraltar when I was a child, causing me to have a fear of the manic primates from a young age. I then laughed so hard, my lungs slipped out my throat as easily as a water snake would, from slippery hands. I choked so vigorously; I found it hard to believe I was still alive.
The next game i had the delights of playing, was labelled 'Super North Pole'. The main objective of this minigame, is to roll around in a toilet tube, in search for the notorious St. Nick. When found, San'a joins you in your poling frolics, and you roll around aimlessly, in a land where everything is sick and twisted, where the elderly openly urinate on the younger generation, where seagulls are devoured by dangerous biscuits, and the only cheese, is the artificial monstrosity I like to call baby bell, this urine soaked hell hole, is indeed, Slough.
"Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough,
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn’t grass to graze a cow,
Swarm over, Death"
- John Betjeman
*ahem*
Anyway, that is all i have to report in the early stages of this, inevitable, Shigsy masterpiece. I have preordered my copy of Super Monkey Pole, and i recommend you do so to. http://ukgames.reserve.co.uk /this_product_doesn't_exist.php?
And remember, Monkeys are for poling, not just for balling. And the human mind is precious, not for malicious, tormenting, soul destroying, monkey torturing games like this, however, it is still recommended, as I am dead, won’t you join me.
Cheers
After previous allegations of Shigsy creating Super Hamster Ball, all questions are left answered with the announcement of SMP.
The game is said to involve many pole related primate madness, the first minigame announced was ‘Super Pogo pole’ where a pole is graphically inserted into a small ape during a cut scene. The idea of the minigame is to collect doctors by bouncing through hospitals collecting powerups along the way. When enough doctors are gathered a new cut scene is displayed showing how the pole is separated from the screaming chimp. Super Pogo Stick is definitely not designed for the weak stomached, or anyone who isn’t a mass murder, or professional doctor, in fact I couldn’t recommend this to anyone, I was so sick I was greeted by the food I devoured last year…. I cant get the scenes out of my head…. Somebody please, get a gun…
Moving swiftly on, the next mini game announced for SMP is ‘Super Javelin’. This innovative game involves the gamer to throw poles at an onslaught of rabid rogues. It really must be played to believed. I can almost envision the first time I lobbed a 6-foot pole and it penetrated the innocent monkey mid-air, causing it to plummet to the ground, blaring almost orgasmically, descending into the mists of hell. I had flashbacks of the monkey that nicked me peanuts in Gibraltar when I was a child, causing me to have a fear of the manic primates from a young age. I then laughed so hard, my lungs slipped out my throat as easily as a water snake would, from slippery hands. I choked so vigorously; I found it hard to believe I was still alive.
The next game i had the delights of playing, was labelled 'Super North Pole'. The main objective of this minigame, is to roll around in a toilet tube, in search for the notorious St. Nick. When found, San'a joins you in your poling frolics, and you roll around aimlessly, in a land where everything is sick and twisted, where the elderly openly urinate on the younger generation, where seagulls are devoured by dangerous biscuits, and the only cheese, is the artificial monstrosity I like to call baby bell, this urine soaked hell hole, is indeed, Slough.
"Come, friendly bombs, and fall on Slough,
It isn't fit for humans now,
There isn’t grass to graze a cow,
Swarm over, Death"
- John Betjeman
*ahem*
Anyway, that is all i have to report in the early stages of this, inevitable, Shigsy masterpiece. I have preordered my copy of Super Monkey Pole, and i recommend you do so to. http://ukgames.reserve.co.uk /this_product_doesn't_exist.php?
And remember, Monkeys are for poling, not just for balling. And the human mind is precious, not for malicious, tormenting, soul destroying, monkey torturing games like this, however, it is still recommended, as I am dead, won’t you join me.
Cheers
> is that all the games or are they gonna produce more at a later date?
I only had chance to sample the game, which has only spent 1 week in development, but Shigsmaster general assures me their will be over 20 assorted levels testing the players abilties to master the pole, and in some circumstances the monkey.
Lol! Absolute genius mate! Very entertaining and you managed to write a topic called 'Shigsy Poles Monkey' without jumping to conclusions :-D
Superb
> "Monkeys are for poling, not just for balling"
>
> Lol! Absolute genius mate! Very entertaining and you managed to write
> a topic called 'Shigsy Poles Monkey' without jumping to conclusions
> :-D
>
> Superb
sssshhhhhh non club members arent meant to know.
> did he inform you of when this game will be out and for how much
> because i am extremely interested in purchasing this exciting feature
> of poles
The main man Shigsy, says he will be working 24/7 on this title in order to get it on the shelves for next thursday. I can understand your need for poles, but patience is a virtue, and virtue looks like virtua, and virtua cop on the saturn was well good, any news on a new game in the series. Oh, god, I'm lonely.......
Oh, and make me a member of your secret organization. Please? I will sell a kidney...
*Stamp Of Mild Approval Award*