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Who wants controllers shaped like gloves? And how about ones that you tilt to go in a certain direction? Rumble vests that don't work properly, anyone? Finger Dance mats? Well, certainly someone thinks that there is a need for these accessories. But is there? No, not really. But do we care? No, not really. We're a lot like Blaze you see. Not too different from Madcatz either. And Venom, we could have been separated from birth. Who are we? Well my friends I'd like to introduce you to The Useless Accessories Organisation. Pathetic name, but it goes with the company image well. So here we are, ready to brainwash you with our useless array of products.
First off though, before we try to flog you our products, it would be decent of us to let you know exactly what they do. Perhaps we could lie a bit, make them sound a bit better than they really are? Also, if that isn't enough to get you fingers twitching with delight, then you'll hopefully find interest in what the magazines had to say. Yep, we took all our products and let them loose on four of the UK's top mags, and The Official Playstation 2 Magazine as well. So onto our first product then.
*The Multiplayer Tent!*
What is it?
Liked tenting when you were a kid? Enjoyed the excitement of being outdoors? Well forget it, because this isn't a tent, and it won’t work outdoors (We just thought we would call it a tent because it sounds quite exciting)! Basically, what our new device does, is separate both players from seeing each others screen, in split screen games. The divider, which is made of waterproof material (Like a tent) clips on to your T.V. allowing you to pull it across and separate the two screens. One player sits underneath the divider and looks at the bottom screen, while there is a hole for the second player to put his head through, so they can see the top screen. The divider comes in either 'Blue', 'Black', or 'Clear polythene', although the clear polythene one isn't very popular, yet we can't understand why.
What did the Magazines say?
PSW- “The hole strangled our Features Editor. Is it supposed to do that?”
OPSM2- “Is it popular? Yes? Oh, we like it then.”
Edge- “This is absolutely amazing! We'll give it a 4/10!”
Playstation Max- “Does it come in pink?”
PSM2- “What is it? A poncho?”
*Glass Controller*
What is it?
Now tell us, how many times have you got into such a state when playing games that you feel the need to throw the controller across the room? Plenty. We've all done it, and nearly every single time the controller breaks. But apart from relieving a slight bit of stress, is throwing the controller along the floor really worth the sacrifice of a £20 piece of kit? No, it just bounces along the floor, makes a slight 'cracking' sound, and then that's that. Well that's where the Glass Controller comes in! The case is made entirely from glass and will shatter on impact with the floor! So, rather than the impact producing a mere little 'crack', the new Glass Controller will have you jumping around in delight as it smashes along the floor in a dramatic show of destruction. It's like a watching a firework go off in a ceramic pot museum! And not only that, this time you know it has really broken. No more wasting time with the mini screwdrivers, trying desperately to open the thing up and see whether the crack was your granny's bones or in fact the rumble function packing in. If it's broke, you'll know about it! The glass controller also gives off realistic injuries, so playing games like Medal of Honour Frontline and GTA Vice City seem even more real, if rather more painful, than before!
What did the Magazines say?
PSW- “We left ours in the sun and the damn thing magnified the light and set our office on fire!”
OPSM2- “We prefer the 'OFFICIAL' Sony controller. We're not biased, or anything...”
Edge- “It's like something Games Master would give away to its contestants.”
Playstation Max- “Perhaps it would have been better to have not made the wire out of glass as well?”
PSM2- “We still haven't broken one! Oh hang on...”
*Other products coming soon!*
We also have two other products coming soon! We sent one to Playstation Max and Edge, and the other to OPSM2 and PSM2. PSW were unable to continue reviewing our products due to a lack of features editor and an office.
*Sailing Controller*
A controller for use on sailing games!
Playstation Max- “It's good but the fact that there are no Sailing Games on PS2 is something to be considered.”
Edge- “We have never felt so camp in our lives. Actually...”
*Character Masks!*
Wear these masks of your favorite characters while you are playing as them in their games!
OPSM2- “We quite fancy Sam when he's wearing his Pamela Anderson mask. What do you mean it's Raiden?”
PSM2- “The Lara mask is great, but there are two great big things missing... can't think what... ah, ponytail and sunglasses, that's the ones.”
All of the products will be in all good gaming stores soon as well as Game and Specia... erm, some other shop.
Thanks for reading,
Nath.
First off though, before we try to flog you our products, it would be decent of us to let you know exactly what they do. Perhaps we could lie a bit, make them sound a bit better than they really are? Also, if that isn't enough to get you fingers twitching with delight, then you'll hopefully find interest in what the magazines had to say. Yep, we took all our products and let them loose on four of the UK's top mags, and The Official Playstation 2 Magazine as well. So onto our first product then.
*The Multiplayer Tent!*
What is it?
Liked tenting when you were a kid? Enjoyed the excitement of being outdoors? Well forget it, because this isn't a tent, and it won’t work outdoors (We just thought we would call it a tent because it sounds quite exciting)! Basically, what our new device does, is separate both players from seeing each others screen, in split screen games. The divider, which is made of waterproof material (Like a tent) clips on to your T.V. allowing you to pull it across and separate the two screens. One player sits underneath the divider and looks at the bottom screen, while there is a hole for the second player to put his head through, so they can see the top screen. The divider comes in either 'Blue', 'Black', or 'Clear polythene', although the clear polythene one isn't very popular, yet we can't understand why.
What did the Magazines say?
PSW- “The hole strangled our Features Editor. Is it supposed to do that?”
OPSM2- “Is it popular? Yes? Oh, we like it then.”
Edge- “This is absolutely amazing! We'll give it a 4/10!”
Playstation Max- “Does it come in pink?”
PSM2- “What is it? A poncho?”
*Glass Controller*
What is it?
Now tell us, how many times have you got into such a state when playing games that you feel the need to throw the controller across the room? Plenty. We've all done it, and nearly every single time the controller breaks. But apart from relieving a slight bit of stress, is throwing the controller along the floor really worth the sacrifice of a £20 piece of kit? No, it just bounces along the floor, makes a slight 'cracking' sound, and then that's that. Well that's where the Glass Controller comes in! The case is made entirely from glass and will shatter on impact with the floor! So, rather than the impact producing a mere little 'crack', the new Glass Controller will have you jumping around in delight as it smashes along the floor in a dramatic show of destruction. It's like a watching a firework go off in a ceramic pot museum! And not only that, this time you know it has really broken. No more wasting time with the mini screwdrivers, trying desperately to open the thing up and see whether the crack was your granny's bones or in fact the rumble function packing in. If it's broke, you'll know about it! The glass controller also gives off realistic injuries, so playing games like Medal of Honour Frontline and GTA Vice City seem even more real, if rather more painful, than before!
What did the Magazines say?
PSW- “We left ours in the sun and the damn thing magnified the light and set our office on fire!”
OPSM2- “We prefer the 'OFFICIAL' Sony controller. We're not biased, or anything...”
Edge- “It's like something Games Master would give away to its contestants.”
Playstation Max- “Perhaps it would have been better to have not made the wire out of glass as well?”
PSM2- “We still haven't broken one! Oh hang on...”
*Other products coming soon!*
We also have two other products coming soon! We sent one to Playstation Max and Edge, and the other to OPSM2 and PSM2. PSW were unable to continue reviewing our products due to a lack of features editor and an office.
*Sailing Controller*
A controller for use on sailing games!
Playstation Max- “It's good but the fact that there are no Sailing Games on PS2 is something to be considered.”
Edge- “We have never felt so camp in our lives. Actually...”
*Character Masks!*
Wear these masks of your favorite characters while you are playing as them in their games!
OPSM2- “We quite fancy Sam when he's wearing his Pamela Anderson mask. What do you mean it's Raiden?”
PSM2- “The Lara mask is great, but there are two great big things missing... can't think what... ah, ponytail and sunglasses, that's the ones.”
All of the products will be in all good gaming stores soon as well as Game and Specia... erm, some other shop.
Thanks for reading,
Nath.
Page:
Who wants controllers shaped like gloves? And how about ones that you tilt to go in a certain direction? Rumble vests that don't work properly, anyone? Finger Dance mats? Well, certainly someone thinks that there is a need for these accessories. But is there? No, not really. But do we care? No, not really. We're a lot like Blaze you see. Not too different from Madcatz either. And Venom, we could have been separated from birth. Who are we? Well my friends I'd like to introduce you to The Useless Accessories Organisation. Pathetic name, but it goes with the company image well. So here we are, ready to brainwash you with our useless array of products.
First off though, before we try to flog you our products, it would be decent of us to let you know exactly what they do. Perhaps we could lie a bit, make them sound a bit better than they really are? Also, if that isn't enough to get you fingers twitching with delight, then you'll hopefully find interest in what the magazines had to say. Yep, we took all our products and let them loose on four of the UK's top mags, and The Official Playstation 2 Magazine as well. So onto our first product then.
*The Multiplayer Tent!*
What is it?
Liked tenting when you were a kid? Enjoyed the excitement of being outdoors? Well forget it, because this isn't a tent, and it won’t work outdoors (We just thought we would call it a tent because it sounds quite exciting)! Basically, what our new device does, is separate both players from seeing each others screen, in split screen games. The divider, which is made of waterproof material (Like a tent) clips on to your T.V. allowing you to pull it across and separate the two screens. One player sits underneath the divider and looks at the bottom screen, while there is a hole for the second player to put his head through, so they can see the top screen. The divider comes in either 'Blue', 'Black', or 'Clear polythene', although the clear polythene one isn't very popular, yet we can't understand why.
What did the Magazines say?
PSW- “The hole strangled our Features Editor. Is it supposed to do that?”
OPSM2- “Is it popular? Yes? Oh, we like it then.”
Edge- “This is absolutely amazing! We'll give it a 4/10!”
Playstation Max- “Does it come in pink?”
PSM2- “What is it? A poncho?”
*Glass Controller*
What is it?
Now tell us, how many times have you got into such a state when playing games that you feel the need to throw the controller across the room? Plenty. We've all done it, and nearly every single time the controller breaks. But apart from relieving a slight bit of stress, is throwing the controller along the floor really worth the sacrifice of a £20 piece of kit? No, it just bounces along the floor, makes a slight 'cracking' sound, and then that's that. Well that's where the Glass Controller comes in! The case is made entirely from glass and will shatter on impact with the floor! So, rather than the impact producing a mere little 'crack', the new Glass Controller will have you jumping around in delight as it smashes along the floor in a dramatic show of destruction. It's like a watching a firework go off in a ceramic pot museum! And not only that, this time you know it has really broken. No more wasting time with the mini screwdrivers, trying desperately to open the thing up and see whether the crack was your granny's bones or in fact the rumble function packing in. If it's broke, you'll know about it! The glass controller also gives off realistic injuries, so playing games like Medal of Honour Frontline and GTA Vice City seem even more real, if rather more painful, than before!
What did the Magazines say?
PSW- “We left ours in the sun and the damn thing magnified the light and set our office on fire!”
OPSM2- “We prefer the 'OFFICIAL' Sony controller. We're not biased, or anything...”
Edge- “It's like something Games Master would give away to its contestants.”
Playstation Max- “Perhaps it would have been better to have not made the wire out of glass as well?”
PSM2- “We still haven't broken one! Oh hang on...”
*Other products coming soon!*
We also have two other products coming soon! We sent one to Playstation Max and Edge, and the other to OPSM2 and PSM2. PSW were unable to continue reviewing our products due to a lack of features editor and an office.
*Sailing Controller*
A controller for use on sailing games!
Playstation Max- “It's good but the fact that there are no Sailing Games on PS2 is something to be considered.”
Edge- “We have never felt so camp in our lives. Actually...”
*Character Masks!*
Wear these masks of your favorite characters while you are playing as them in their games!
OPSM2- “We quite fancy Sam when he's wearing his Pamela Anderson mask. What do you mean it's Raiden?”
PSM2- “The Lara mask is great, but there are two great big things missing... can't think what... ah, ponytail and sunglasses, that's the ones.”
All of the products will be in all good gaming stores soon as well as Game and Specia... erm, some other shop.
Thanks for reading,
Nath.
First off though, before we try to flog you our products, it would be decent of us to let you know exactly what they do. Perhaps we could lie a bit, make them sound a bit better than they really are? Also, if that isn't enough to get you fingers twitching with delight, then you'll hopefully find interest in what the magazines had to say. Yep, we took all our products and let them loose on four of the UK's top mags, and The Official Playstation 2 Magazine as well. So onto our first product then.
*The Multiplayer Tent!*
What is it?
Liked tenting when you were a kid? Enjoyed the excitement of being outdoors? Well forget it, because this isn't a tent, and it won’t work outdoors (We just thought we would call it a tent because it sounds quite exciting)! Basically, what our new device does, is separate both players from seeing each others screen, in split screen games. The divider, which is made of waterproof material (Like a tent) clips on to your T.V. allowing you to pull it across and separate the two screens. One player sits underneath the divider and looks at the bottom screen, while there is a hole for the second player to put his head through, so they can see the top screen. The divider comes in either 'Blue', 'Black', or 'Clear polythene', although the clear polythene one isn't very popular, yet we can't understand why.
What did the Magazines say?
PSW- “The hole strangled our Features Editor. Is it supposed to do that?”
OPSM2- “Is it popular? Yes? Oh, we like it then.”
Edge- “This is absolutely amazing! We'll give it a 4/10!”
Playstation Max- “Does it come in pink?”
PSM2- “What is it? A poncho?”
*Glass Controller*
What is it?
Now tell us, how many times have you got into such a state when playing games that you feel the need to throw the controller across the room? Plenty. We've all done it, and nearly every single time the controller breaks. But apart from relieving a slight bit of stress, is throwing the controller along the floor really worth the sacrifice of a £20 piece of kit? No, it just bounces along the floor, makes a slight 'cracking' sound, and then that's that. Well that's where the Glass Controller comes in! The case is made entirely from glass and will shatter on impact with the floor! So, rather than the impact producing a mere little 'crack', the new Glass Controller will have you jumping around in delight as it smashes along the floor in a dramatic show of destruction. It's like a watching a firework go off in a ceramic pot museum! And not only that, this time you know it has really broken. No more wasting time with the mini screwdrivers, trying desperately to open the thing up and see whether the crack was your granny's bones or in fact the rumble function packing in. If it's broke, you'll know about it! The glass controller also gives off realistic injuries, so playing games like Medal of Honour Frontline and GTA Vice City seem even more real, if rather more painful, than before!
What did the Magazines say?
PSW- “We left ours in the sun and the damn thing magnified the light and set our office on fire!”
OPSM2- “We prefer the 'OFFICIAL' Sony controller. We're not biased, or anything...”
Edge- “It's like something Games Master would give away to its contestants.”
Playstation Max- “Perhaps it would have been better to have not made the wire out of glass as well?”
PSM2- “We still haven't broken one! Oh hang on...”
*Other products coming soon!*
We also have two other products coming soon! We sent one to Playstation Max and Edge, and the other to OPSM2 and PSM2. PSW were unable to continue reviewing our products due to a lack of features editor and an office.
*Sailing Controller*
A controller for use on sailing games!
Playstation Max- “It's good but the fact that there are no Sailing Games on PS2 is something to be considered.”
Edge- “We have never felt so camp in our lives. Actually...”
*Character Masks!*
Wear these masks of your favorite characters while you are playing as them in their games!
OPSM2- “We quite fancy Sam when he's wearing his Pamela Anderson mask. What do you mean it's Raiden?”
PSM2- “The Lara mask is great, but there are two great big things missing... can't think what... ah, ponytail and sunglasses, that's the ones.”
All of the products will be in all good gaming stores soon as well as Game and Specia... erm, some other shop.
Thanks for reading,
Nath.
Heh.
*Dies*
Oh
My
God.
Is this a *gasp* decent topic? Amongst all the piles of spam?
There is a god!
Take note, smelly n00bs.
Anywho, that was great (which is a good thang) I liked the views form the different mags - so true.
> OPSM2- “We quite fancy Sam when he's wearing his Pamela Anderson mask.
> What do you mean it's Raiden?”
Classic.
Nice one Nat.
Oh
My
God.
Is this a *gasp* decent topic? Amongst all the piles of spam?
There is a god!
Take note, smelly n00bs.
Anywho, that was great (which is a good thang) I liked the views form the different mags - so true.
> OPSM2- “We quite fancy Sam when he's wearing his Pamela Anderson mask.
> What do you mean it's Raiden?”
Classic.
Nice one Nat.
Thanks you two :). Nice to be appraeciated. :)
:cD
Great post Natbuc, another origional one from you. Hur hur, the Raiden bit creased me up. :cP
Liked the tent idea most. It's not a tent, and you can't use it outside.
Very good very good.
Great post Natbuc, another origional one from you. Hur hur, the Raiden bit creased me up. :cP
Liked the tent idea most. It's not a tent, and you can't use it outside.
Very good very good.
Nå†ßu© wrote:
> Thanks you two :). Nice to be appraeciated. :)
I checked that post twice. And I could have sworn I spelt it right. :D
> Thanks you two :). Nice to be appraeciated. :)
I checked that post twice. And I could have sworn I spelt it right. :D
Ah, thanks DW aswell. :)
My post sounded a little blunt. It wasn't meant to be. The comparison of the mag's views was a nice bit of satire, if a little harsh.
Yeah, a bit of stereotyping there. :)
I liked edge:
It's amazing! We give it 4 out of 10!
So true!
It's amazing! We give it 4 out of 10!
So true!
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