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This is my first topic in the Future Of Gaming forum, so I thought I'd write about gaming. In the future. Clever, eh?
After reading some of the game ideas on that Game Ideas forum, I figured that all these top games need a new console to belong to. Without further ado, I present “The definitive next, next, next generation console”. Sony, Sega, Nintendo and even you Bill, listen up...this really IS the Future Of Gaming.
#1: What’s with all the boxes? X-Box, GameCube, all square related shapes. This is utter rubbish. Where’s the originality in that? My console would be spherical. Think about it, PS2s can go horizontal or vertical. A sphere can stand on any point through all 3 axes!! Wicked! But what about the problem about it rolling away. Well, there’s portability for you. And the possibilities are endless... For FIFA 2005, or whatever the EA footie game would be then, you could use the console as a ball and control the game with it. Of course, the shape of the console needs to feature in the name. After careful thought, I came up with SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere™. Jazzy...
#2: The console will be backwards, forwards and sideways compatible with all known games and all unknown ones and will feature CD, DVD, cartridge slots of varying sizes and even slots for all other games related junk like dice, playing cards and Monopoly money. You never know, do you?
#3: The hardware features of this console will be spectacular. The graphics card will be so good, it will run at over 5,000 fps. Which is apparently more than the eye can see. Or something. But higher numbers are better, so i’ll just say it’ll be 6,000 instead. The console will also be able to display 6.32 trillion colours, all at once. Just like the decoration at an Indian restaurant, then.
#4: The PS2 has got 2 controller ports, the X-Box and GameCube have 4. This is useless. The SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere will have 50. I don’t know why, it just will. That’s that one sorted then.
#5: Internet gaming will not only be featured as standard, it will be necessary. As well as being able to smack up anyone in the world at any time, new levels and additions to games will be automatically downloaded so that your games last for ever.
#6: Home integration. Everyone’s banging on about “the connected home” these days, so the SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere will bring you right into the 21st Century with a swift boot to the Jacobs for good measure. The console will be connected to everything in sight so you never actually need to move for anything. The most important feature is the CyberFridge™, which will sense the need for beer and supply you with cold bottles of Bud.
#7: It will be impossible to chip, so copying games for my fantastic new console will be impossible. The security system will be called the “Genuine Only, Not Absolutely Dodgy System”, or GONADS for short. All the games companies and retailers, including Tony and the Special Reserve people, will love it when they finally get GONADS. They’ll make more money, see? If the SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere detects any dodgy software, it will rip off the player’s arms and beat them to death with the wet ends. However, the technology to achieve this has not yet been developed.
#8: It’ll come in different colours too. But no poncy Game Boy Advance pink, supposedly “Clear Red”, nonsense.
I’m running out of ideas now, so I have to go. I need to e-mail this to all the console companies. You never know, in a few years you may have a SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere in your home.
Thanks for reading,
Dave.
After reading some of the game ideas on that Game Ideas forum, I figured that all these top games need a new console to belong to. Without further ado, I present “The definitive next, next, next generation console”. Sony, Sega, Nintendo and even you Bill, listen up...this really IS the Future Of Gaming.
#1: What’s with all the boxes? X-Box, GameCube, all square related shapes. This is utter rubbish. Where’s the originality in that? My console would be spherical. Think about it, PS2s can go horizontal or vertical. A sphere can stand on any point through all 3 axes!! Wicked! But what about the problem about it rolling away. Well, there’s portability for you. And the possibilities are endless... For FIFA 2005, or whatever the EA footie game would be then, you could use the console as a ball and control the game with it. Of course, the shape of the console needs to feature in the name. After careful thought, I came up with SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere™. Jazzy...
#2: The console will be backwards, forwards and sideways compatible with all known games and all unknown ones and will feature CD, DVD, cartridge slots of varying sizes and even slots for all other games related junk like dice, playing cards and Monopoly money. You never know, do you?
#3: The hardware features of this console will be spectacular. The graphics card will be so good, it will run at over 5,000 fps. Which is apparently more than the eye can see. Or something. But higher numbers are better, so i’ll just say it’ll be 6,000 instead. The console will also be able to display 6.32 trillion colours, all at once. Just like the decoration at an Indian restaurant, then.
#4: The PS2 has got 2 controller ports, the X-Box and GameCube have 4. This is useless. The SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere will have 50. I don’t know why, it just will. That’s that one sorted then.
#5: Internet gaming will not only be featured as standard, it will be necessary. As well as being able to smack up anyone in the world at any time, new levels and additions to games will be automatically downloaded so that your games last for ever.
#6: Home integration. Everyone’s banging on about “the connected home” these days, so the SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere will bring you right into the 21st Century with a swift boot to the Jacobs for good measure. The console will be connected to everything in sight so you never actually need to move for anything. The most important feature is the CyberFridge™, which will sense the need for beer and supply you with cold bottles of Bud.
#7: It will be impossible to chip, so copying games for my fantastic new console will be impossible. The security system will be called the “Genuine Only, Not Absolutely Dodgy System”, or GONADS for short. All the games companies and retailers, including Tony and the Special Reserve people, will love it when they finally get GONADS. They’ll make more money, see? If the SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere detects any dodgy software, it will rip off the player’s arms and beat them to death with the wet ends. However, the technology to achieve this has not yet been developed.
#8: It’ll come in different colours too. But no poncy Game Boy Advance pink, supposedly “Clear Red”, nonsense.
I’m running out of ideas now, so I have to go. I need to e-mail this to all the console companies. You never know, in a few years you may have a SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere in your home.
Thanks for reading,
Dave.
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This is my first topic in the Future Of Gaming forum, so I thought I'd write about gaming. In the future. Clever, eh?
After reading some of the game ideas on that Game Ideas forum, I figured that all these top games need a new console to belong to. Without further ado, I present “The definitive next, next, next generation console”. Sony, Sega, Nintendo and even you Bill, listen up...this really IS the Future Of Gaming.
#1: What’s with all the boxes? X-Box, GameCube, all square related shapes. This is utter rubbish. Where’s the originality in that? My console would be spherical. Think about it, PS2s can go horizontal or vertical. A sphere can stand on any point through all 3 axes!! Wicked! But what about the problem about it rolling away. Well, there’s portability for you. And the possibilities are endless... For FIFA 2005, or whatever the EA footie game would be then, you could use the console as a ball and control the game with it. Of course, the shape of the console needs to feature in the name. After careful thought, I came up with SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere™. Jazzy...
#2: The console will be backwards, forwards and sideways compatible with all known games and all unknown ones and will feature CD, DVD, cartridge slots of varying sizes and even slots for all other games related junk like dice, playing cards and Monopoly money. You never know, do you?
#3: The hardware features of this console will be spectacular. The graphics card will be so good, it will run at over 5,000 fps. Which is apparently more than the eye can see. Or something. But higher numbers are better, so i’ll just say it’ll be 6,000 instead. The console will also be able to display 6.32 trillion colours, all at once. Just like the decoration at an Indian restaurant, then.
#4: The PS2 has got 2 controller ports, the X-Box and GameCube have 4. This is useless. The SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere will have 50. I don’t know why, it just will. That’s that one sorted then.
#5: Internet gaming will not only be featured as standard, it will be necessary. As well as being able to smack up anyone in the world at any time, new levels and additions to games will be automatically downloaded so that your games last for ever.
#6: Home integration. Everyone’s banging on about “the connected home” these days, so the SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere will bring you right into the 21st Century with a swift boot to the Jacobs for good measure. The console will be connected to everything in sight so you never actually need to move for anything. The most important feature is the CyberFridge™, which will sense the need for beer and supply you with cold bottles of Bud.
#7: It will be impossible to chip, so copying games for my fantastic new console will be impossible. The security system will be called the “Genuine Only, Not Absolutely Dodgy System”, or GONADS for short. All the games companies and retailers, including Tony and the Special Reserve people, will love it when they finally get GONADS. They’ll make more money, see? If the SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere detects any dodgy software, it will rip off the player’s arms and beat them to death with the wet ends. However, the technology to achieve this has not yet been developed.
#8: It’ll come in different colours too. But no poncy Game Boy Advance pink, supposedly “Clear Red”, nonsense.
I’m running out of ideas now, so I have to go. I need to e-mail this to all the console companies. You never know, in a few years you may have a SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere in your home.
Thanks for reading,
Dave.
After reading some of the game ideas on that Game Ideas forum, I figured that all these top games need a new console to belong to. Without further ado, I present “The definitive next, next, next generation console”. Sony, Sega, Nintendo and even you Bill, listen up...this really IS the Future Of Gaming.
#1: What’s with all the boxes? X-Box, GameCube, all square related shapes. This is utter rubbish. Where’s the originality in that? My console would be spherical. Think about it, PS2s can go horizontal or vertical. A sphere can stand on any point through all 3 axes!! Wicked! But what about the problem about it rolling away. Well, there’s portability for you. And the possibilities are endless... For FIFA 2005, or whatever the EA footie game would be then, you could use the console as a ball and control the game with it. Of course, the shape of the console needs to feature in the name. After careful thought, I came up with SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere™. Jazzy...
#2: The console will be backwards, forwards and sideways compatible with all known games and all unknown ones and will feature CD, DVD, cartridge slots of varying sizes and even slots for all other games related junk like dice, playing cards and Monopoly money. You never know, do you?
#3: The hardware features of this console will be spectacular. The graphics card will be so good, it will run at over 5,000 fps. Which is apparently more than the eye can see. Or something. But higher numbers are better, so i’ll just say it’ll be 6,000 instead. The console will also be able to display 6.32 trillion colours, all at once. Just like the decoration at an Indian restaurant, then.
#4: The PS2 has got 2 controller ports, the X-Box and GameCube have 4. This is useless. The SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere will have 50. I don’t know why, it just will. That’s that one sorted then.
#5: Internet gaming will not only be featured as standard, it will be necessary. As well as being able to smack up anyone in the world at any time, new levels and additions to games will be automatically downloaded so that your games last for ever.
#6: Home integration. Everyone’s banging on about “the connected home” these days, so the SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere will bring you right into the 21st Century with a swift boot to the Jacobs for good measure. The console will be connected to everything in sight so you never actually need to move for anything. The most important feature is the CyberFridge™, which will sense the need for beer and supply you with cold bottles of Bud.
#7: It will be impossible to chip, so copying games for my fantastic new console will be impossible. The security system will be called the “Genuine Only, Not Absolutely Dodgy System”, or GONADS for short. All the games companies and retailers, including Tony and the Special Reserve people, will love it when they finally get GONADS. They’ll make more money, see? If the SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere detects any dodgy software, it will rip off the player’s arms and beat them to death with the wet ends. However, the technology to achieve this has not yet been developed.
#8: It’ll come in different colours too. But no poncy Game Boy Advance pink, supposedly “Clear Red”, nonsense.
I’m running out of ideas now, so I have to go. I need to e-mail this to all the console companies. You never know, in a few years you may have a SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere in your home.
Thanks for reading,
Dave.
SuperUltraMechaÜberSphere
LOL
i want one...doh my deposit money is for beer
LOL
i want one...doh my deposit money is for beer
i was interested.
but then u wrote loads.
keep it short and sweet.
then i might have somthing interesting to say.
(the fault lies with me, not u.)
but then u wrote loads.
keep it short and sweet.
then i might have somthing interesting to say.
(the fault lies with me, not u.)
I started, and then I was having fun with it so I kept going. Sorry! If you want, just read one in every three words...it's much quicker.
like
-this first the Gaming
-this first the Gaming
like
-this first the Gaming i write in clever.
yeah, works well.
(no nastyness meant)
-this first the Gaming i write in clever.
yeah, works well.
(no nastyness meant)
Exactly that. Granted, it makes less sense but hey! It didn't make a whole load of sense in the first place!!
LOL!!
That was fantastic, the Indian Restaurant bit really made me laugh.
Very good!
That was fantastic, the Indian Restaurant bit really made me laugh.
Very good!
Thanks, glad you liked it.
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