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As most of you will know, the USA is about to embark on a war against Afganistahn in a bid take in Osama bin Laden.
Well, through the medium of drinking, my friends and I have come up with a possible, more likely to succeed, alternative solution.
As a smaller percentage of you will know, martial artist and actor, Steven Segal is renowned for saying in interviews that almost 100% of todays action heroes; Bruce Willis, Nicholas Cage, Wesley Snipes, etc. are a load of p*****s. He claims that most of them wouldn't win a fight against a force of one primary school girl, let alone a "super villain" and, well, he may be right?
Well, an even smaller percentage of you may also be aware that Steven Segal doesn't hold himself in this bracket at all. No, infact, Steven Segal is on record as having said that the first thing he does when he is offered the lead role in a movie is sit down and read the script. Well thats not much of a surprise but what is a surprise is that Steven Segal, notable for such films as "Under Siege 1&2" and "Marked for Death" claims that as he is perusing the script he is careful to make sure that he is not being made to do "anything he couldn't do in real life"
So, seeing as Steven seems so very confident about battling terrorist organisation single handedly, or taking down a city wide Jamaican run crime and drug syndicate single handedly without recieving a single blow to his person, I think you'll all agree that Segal is ideal for the job of retrieving bin Laden! I propose we send him in a one man plane with parachute and drop hmi in the heart of Afganistahn, then sit back and wait for the results.
As a possible side line to this and a way for the US to raise some funds for the rebuilding of Manhattan, I suggest we drop Steve Irwin (that crazy crocadile man) in with Segal and a video camera to create the most stunning "reality TV" since Big Brother 2!!!
Thoughts?
Well, through the medium of drinking, my friends and I have come up with a possible, more likely to succeed, alternative solution.
As a smaller percentage of you will know, martial artist and actor, Steven Segal is renowned for saying in interviews that almost 100% of todays action heroes; Bruce Willis, Nicholas Cage, Wesley Snipes, etc. are a load of p*****s. He claims that most of them wouldn't win a fight against a force of one primary school girl, let alone a "super villain" and, well, he may be right?
Well, an even smaller percentage of you may also be aware that Steven Segal doesn't hold himself in this bracket at all. No, infact, Steven Segal is on record as having said that the first thing he does when he is offered the lead role in a movie is sit down and read the script. Well thats not much of a surprise but what is a surprise is that Steven Segal, notable for such films as "Under Siege 1&2" and "Marked for Death" claims that as he is perusing the script he is careful to make sure that he is not being made to do "anything he couldn't do in real life"
So, seeing as Steven seems so very confident about battling terrorist organisation single handedly, or taking down a city wide Jamaican run crime and drug syndicate single handedly without recieving a single blow to his person, I think you'll all agree that Segal is ideal for the job of retrieving bin Laden! I propose we send him in a one man plane with parachute and drop hmi in the heart of Afganistahn, then sit back and wait for the results.
As a possible side line to this and a way for the US to raise some funds for the rebuilding of Manhattan, I suggest we drop Steve Irwin (that crazy crocadile man) in with Segal and a video camera to create the most stunning "reality TV" since Big Brother 2!!!
Thoughts?
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it won FAD? its not yellow!
Congrats on the FAD win mate!
Thoroughly deserved. Well done.
Thoroughly deserved. Well done.
Heh, Steve Irwin does just that though...
These monitors are really territorial, so Im gonna crawl into the middle of their nest, and poke them with a stick, then shout DANGER!DANGER!, and then go crikey, they attacked me for no reason. Bloody 'ell mates!
wd on the FAD win Tarrant.
These monitors are really territorial, so Im gonna crawl into the middle of their nest, and poke them with a stick, then shout DANGER!DANGER!, and then go crikey, they attacked me for no reason. Bloody 'ell mates!
wd on the FAD win Tarrant.
Stryke wrote:
> Steve Irwin would be great...
This Bin Laden blokes really
> dangerous, so I'm gonna go and poke him with a stick, alright mates?
> Crikey me arm!
LOL!!!
> Steve Irwin would be great...
This Bin Laden blokes really
> dangerous, so I'm gonna go and poke him with a stick, alright mates?
> Crikey me arm!
LOL!!!
Stryke wrote:
> Steve Irwin would be great...
This Bin Laden blokes really
> dangerous, so I'm gonna go and poke him with a stick, alright mates?
> Crikey me arm!
Irwin would just film and commentate! Anything more than that and Segal might get annoyed.
"Ok, so its day 6 of 'Segal takes on Taliban - Live' and as you can see Steven Segal has taken on and immobalised the intire Afgan infantry. Good on ya Stevo!"
> Steve Irwin would be great...
This Bin Laden blokes really
> dangerous, so I'm gonna go and poke him with a stick, alright mates?
> Crikey me arm!
Irwin would just film and commentate! Anything more than that and Segal might get annoyed.
"Ok, so its day 6 of 'Segal takes on Taliban - Live' and as you can see Steven Segal has taken on and immobalised the intire Afgan infantry. Good on ya Stevo!"
This thread raises other well trod questions:
1. Why are Stormtroopers so inept?
Okay you have a whole galaxy to chose an army of the finest fighting machines. That is potentially trillions of beings. So why is it that they have never hit anything? Why do Ties permanently miss the target? Why, in short, do the rebels beat unimaginable odds to win against the Empire again and again and again?
The answer? God knows...
2. Why does Luke Skywalker pay so much attention to a little green puppet with Jim Henson's hand up its *ahem*?
3. I have no problem with Steven Segal's incredible ability to survive and perform his own stunts but who on earth gives him acting roles? He is so wooden that I'm surprised they let him anywhere near incendiary devices...
1. Why are Stormtroopers so inept?
Okay you have a whole galaxy to chose an army of the finest fighting machines. That is potentially trillions of beings. So why is it that they have never hit anything? Why do Ties permanently miss the target? Why, in short, do the rebels beat unimaginable odds to win against the Empire again and again and again?
The answer? God knows...
2. Why does Luke Skywalker pay so much attention to a little green puppet with Jim Henson's hand up its *ahem*?
3. I have no problem with Steven Segal's incredible ability to survive and perform his own stunts but who on earth gives him acting roles? He is so wooden that I'm surprised they let him anywhere near incendiary devices...
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