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"ChEeSy...Or...WhAt!"

Here are some of the cheesiest jokes of all time in the world........

1.
An evil dad walked outside on Christmas Eve and fired a revolver, then went inside and said to his kids that Father Christmas had just committed suicide!
2.
wezal: father will you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem?
Father: gosh haven’t they found that yet-they were looking for it when I was a lad!
3.
Wezal: I haven’t see your dog lately.
bert: no I had to put him down.
Wezal: was he mad?
bert: well he wasn’t exactly pleased!
4.
Whats on the telly jimmy?
‘same as usual-the goldfish bowl and the lamp.’
5.
Judge: I’ve decided to give you a suspended sentence.
wezal: thank you, your honor.
Judge: what for? You’re going to be hanged!
6.
‘mummy does god use our bathroom?’
‘no darling, why do you ask?’
‘well, every morning daddy bangs on the door and shouts, ‘oh god, are you still in there?’
7.
boss ( of special reserve): how many people work in you shop?
Tony: About half of them!
8.
Doctor: good morning wezal, I haven’t seen you for a long time.
Wezal: I know doctor, I’ve been ill.
9.
‘How long will the next bus be?’
‘about 18 feet!’
10.
‘doctor I keep thinking I’m a goat.’
‘how long have you had this feeling?’
‘ever since I was a kid.’
11.
‘ that’s a dreadful bump on your head wezal how did it happen?’
‘somebody threw tomatos at me.’
‘heavens,how could tomatos cause a bump like that?’
‘they were in a tin!’
12.
teacher: why do we sometimes call the middle ages the dark ages?
Wezal: because they had so many knights.
13.
In a park a man holding a penguin went up to a polieman.
‘I’ve found this penguin,’ he said. ‘What shall I do with him?’
‘you’d better take him to the zoo,’ said the policeman.
The next day the policeman again saw the man with the penguin.
‘I thought I told you to take him to the zoo,’ he said.
‘I did that yesterday,’ said the man. ‘and today I’m taking him to the circus!’
14.
captian: why didn’t you stop the ball?
Goalie: I thouhgt that’s what the net was for.
15.
Thirty days have september, april, june and the speed ofender!
16.
Did you hear about the vegetarion cannibal?
-he only ate swedes.
17.
The cannibal came home to find his wife chopping up snakes and a small man.
‘oh no,’ he groaned. ‘ not snake and pygmy pie again!’
18.
mother: wezal, why is your face red?
Wezal: I was running up the road to stop a fight.
Mother: that’s a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Wezal: Me and Jackie Smith.
19.
Last week a man fell into a keg of beer and I came to a bitter end.
20.
Upright citizen: you should pay your taxes with a smile.
Wezal: I’d like to, but they insist on cash.
21.
Harry: have you read a bible?
Wezal: no I’m waiting for the film.
22.
Wezal was asked for a donation to the orphanage… so he them two orphans!
23.
‘come in no. 6- your time is up.’
‘ but we’ve only got 8 boats.’
‘are you in trouble no. 6 ?!’
24.
which panto is about a cat in a chemists shop?
-puss in boots.
25.
Why do cows in switzerland have bells round their necks?
-because their horns don’t work!
26.
Inscribed on the tombstone of a hypochondriac:
‘ I told you I was ill!’
27.
pickpocket wezal: did you have any luck over the weekend?
Pickpocket bert: no. I spent it at a nudist camp.
28.
Wezal: and if I take these little blue pills as you suggested, will I get better?
Doctor: well, put it this way; none of my patients ever come back and ask for more.
29.
Women are the blame of all the lying men do-they insist on asking questions.
30.
Lady on bus: am I all right for the zoo?
Conductor: I should think so, but I’m only a conductor , not a zoologist.
31.
Wezal what would I have to give you for a little kiss?
Jordan: chloroform.
32.
Wezal: my wife converted me to religion?
Bert: how did she do that?
Wezal: I didn’t believe in hell until I married her!
33.
Teacher : can you tell me what a slug is?
Wezal: a snail with a housing problem.
34.
‘but mandy, that’s not our baby!’
‘shut up….it’s a better pram!’
35.
A drunk man raced down after a fire engine, but callapsed exhausted after 100 yards, ‘alright,’ he shouted, ‘keep the rotten ice-cream!’

Here are some of the cheesiest jokes of all time in the world........

1.
An evil dad walked outside on Christmas Eve and fired a revolver, then went inside and said to his kids that Father Christmas had just committed suicide!
2.
wezal: father will you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem?
Father: gosh haven’t they found that yet-they were looking for it when I was a lad!
3.
Wezal: I haven’t see your dog lately.
bert: no I had to put him down.
Wezal: was he mad?
bert: well he wasn’t exactly pleased!
4.
Whats on the telly jimmy?
‘same as usual-the goldfish bowl and the lamp.’
5.
Judge: I’ve decided to give you a suspended sentence.
wezal: thank you, your honor.
Judge: what for? You’re going to be hanged!
6.
‘mummy does god use our bathroom?’
‘no darling, why do you ask?’
‘well, every morning daddy bangs on the door and shouts, ‘oh god, are you still in there?’
7.
boss ( of special reserve): how many people work in you shop?
Tony: About half of them!
8.
Doctor: good morning wezal, I haven’t seen you for a long time.
Wezal: I know doctor, I’ve been ill.
9.
‘How long will the next bus be?’
‘about 18 feet!’
10.
‘doctor I keep thinking I’m a goat.’
‘how long have you had this feeling?’
‘ever since I was a kid.’
11.
‘ that’s a dreadful bump on your head wezal how did it happen?’
‘somebody threw tomatos at me.’
‘heavens,how could tomatos cause a bump like that?’
‘they were in a tin!’
12.
teacher: why do we sometimes call the middle ages the dark ages?
Wezal: because they had so many knights.
13.
In a park a man holding a penguin went up to a polieman.
‘I’ve found this penguin,’ he said. ‘What shall I do with him?’
‘you’d better take him to the zoo,’ said the policeman.
The next day the policeman again saw the man with the penguin.
‘I thought I told you to take him to the zoo,’ he said.
‘I did that yesterday,’ said the man. ‘and today I’m taking him to the circus!’
14.
captian: why didn’t you stop the ball?
Goalie: I thouhgt that’s what the net was for.
15.
Thirty days have september, april, june and the speed ofender!
16.
Did you hear about the vegetarion cannibal?
-he only ate swedes.
17.
The cannibal came home to find his wife chopping up snakes and a small man.
‘oh no,’ he groaned. ‘ not snake and pygmy pie again!’
18.
mother: wezal, why is your face red?
Wezal: I was running up the road to stop a fight.
Mother: that’s a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Wezal: Me and Jackie Smith.
19.
Last week a man fell into a keg of beer and I came to a bitter end.
20.
Upright citizen: you should pay your taxes with a smile.
Wezal: I’d like to, but they insist on cash.
21.
Harry: have you read a bible?
Wezal: no I’m waiting for the film.
22.
Wezal was asked for a donation to the orphanage… so he them two orphans!
23.
‘come in no. 6- your time is up.’
‘ but we’ve only got 8 boats.’
‘are you in trouble no. 6 ?!’
24.
which panto is about a cat in a chemists shop?
-puss in boots.
25.
Why do cows in switzerland have bells round their necks?
-because their horns don’t work!
26.
Inscribed on the tombstone of a hypochondriac:
‘ I told you I was ill!’
27.
pickpocket wezal: did you have any luck over the weekend?
Pickpocket bert: no. I spent it at a nudist camp.
28.
Wezal: and if I take these little blue pills as you suggested, will I get better?
Doctor: well, put it this way; none of my patients ever come back and ask for more.
29.
Women are the blame of all the lying men do-they insist on asking questions.
30.
Lady on bus: am I all right for the zoo?
Conductor: I should think so, but I’m only a conductor , not a zoologist.
31.
Wezal what would I have to give you for a little kiss?
Jordan: chloroform.
32.
Wezal: my wife converted me to religion?
Bert: how did she do that?
Wezal: I didn’t believe in hell until I married her!
33.
Teacher : can you tell me what a slug is?
Wezal: a snail with a housing problem.
34.
‘but mandy, that’s not our baby!’
‘shut up….it’s a better pram!’
35.
A drunk man raced down after a fire engine, but callapsed exhausted after 100 yards, ‘alright,’ he shouted, ‘keep the rotten ice-cream!’

In every pack of cards there's always a joker. Funny, but you probably copied them from a joke book. Admit it.

some yes i read from a joke book, some were told to me.
so what?
it was just the cheesiest jokes i know.
did i say they were original?
no!
all i said were that they were the cheesiest jokes i know.