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"Easy quick halloween costumes"

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Your twin brother.

1 x Bin Liner.

Osama Bin Liner.

Tear open your matress and grab a handful of the fluff that falls out. Glue it to your chin. Next, grab a towel from your bathroom or from round your mum's waist and wrap it round your head. Now pop down to your nearest SR and purchase the http://specialreserve.co.uk/ spaceRC-MKII-Assault-Rifl_4113_r.html.

Hey presto! 1 x Osama Bin Laden halloween costume!

Cut some holes out a sheet and you have a ghost costume.

Wear a Scream mask and black top, voila, one Scream outfit.

Paint you face green and stick bolts to your neck and you have Frankenstein.

Walk around with your mouth open and arms outstretched, perhaps wearing old clothes, and there you have a zombie.

Nike cap, Carbrini hoody, cheap jewellery, Rockports, and tuck your jogging bottoms into your football socks.

Most will be terrified. ;)

To quote Addams Family: -

"Wednesday: I'm a homicidal maniac, they look just like everyone else."

I have a load of rather knackered clothes my dad bought in Florida in the late 70s lying around somewhere: hey presto, one Redneck costume!

And if you think it's not possible to do any worse, the only shop which sells halloween costumes in my area wouldn't have anything in stock to fit someone who's 5'10, unless it's made out of spandex and not especially intended for Halloween, unless I want particularly warped and kinky 31st October...

I can't be bothered ths year (humbug)

I have the best idea ever (had it last year too, but it suffered the same fate as this year will have).
Get some old clothes, paint them (and me) silver, then put a traffic cone on my head.

Voila, a statue.