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In a room, a small beam of sunshine casts light onto an opposing wall, illuminating the soggy, damp wallpaper. It is clear that light doesn't enter this place very often. The beam of light is a sharp contrast to the rest of the room - the darkness has consumed all visibility, and the only thing the naked eye can make out is the vague shadows of the largest items in the room - what looks like a bed, a cabinet, and in between, curled up in a ball and keeping eerily still, a figure rests, moving in nothing but breath and not making a sound at all. A burglar could enter this room and have no idea that it was occupied. A window is open, and blowing in the gale, sending a piercing breeze through the room, but the figure doesn't flinch, doesn't make any effort to close the window, and doesn't react in any way to the cold. Just stays perfectly still. Perfectly lifeless.
In a sudden flash, light explodes around the room. A lone lightbulb that hangs from the ceiling glares out a hideously bright light, and the girl covers her face to shield the sharp, intruding light that moments ago didn't exist. The girl looks disorientated, as if she's just awoken, and chances are she fell asleep waiting for him. Regaining her composure, she stands, and her long, jet black hair falls elegantly onto her shoulders and her fringe falls over her eyebrows, obscuring most of her face from view. She is tattily dressed - wearing nothing but an old tanktop and a small pair of shorts, even in this blistering cold. Her figure is small and frail - not in an underfed, neglected way, but just that she is of a petite build. Her feet are bare, and covered in scrapes and blisters. She reaches up slowly to brush the hair out of the way of her vision, and a pretty yet sad face is revealed. She looks mature and caring, yet a deep immense sadness lies deeper in her eyes. Grudgingly, she walks towards the door, leans an arm lazily against the wall, and with a sudden burst of energy, flicks off the lightswitch. The room is cast back into darkness once more. The faint tap of a footstep can be heard, and the girl passes through the sharp beam of light that is thrown across the room, momentarily illuminating her. She calmly moves back to where she was sitting, and picks up what can just about me made out as an alarm clock. In one long, slow movement, she returns to her position on the floor, huddles up to protect herself from the cold, and her eyes fix once again on the clock. Alone in the cold, damp room.
For you see, she is alone every second besides when with him. He has no idea what an impact he has, and how could he? She sits alone, depressed, feeling empty and uninspired to move, other than to stare at her clock. But he changes everything. He'll be here soon, and that's when she'll blossom into the beautiful creature he fell in love with.
And sure enough, a short while later, he strides in, switches on the light, both in the room and in her heart. She looks up and an enigmatic smile explodes onto her face. He speaks gently, and almost in a whisper, says "Hey, Lizzie." And with that he changes everything. He is the soul alchemist. And he transforms her.
In a sudden flash, light explodes around the room. A lone lightbulb that hangs from the ceiling glares out a hideously bright light, and the girl covers her face to shield the sharp, intruding light that moments ago didn't exist. The girl looks disorientated, as if she's just awoken, and chances are she fell asleep waiting for him. Regaining her composure, she stands, and her long, jet black hair falls elegantly onto her shoulders and her fringe falls over her eyebrows, obscuring most of her face from view. She is tattily dressed - wearing nothing but an old tanktop and a small pair of shorts, even in this blistering cold. Her figure is small and frail - not in an underfed, neglected way, but just that she is of a petite build. Her feet are bare, and covered in scrapes and blisters. She reaches up slowly to brush the hair out of the way of her vision, and a pretty yet sad face is revealed. She looks mature and caring, yet a deep immense sadness lies deeper in her eyes. Grudgingly, she walks towards the door, leans an arm lazily against the wall, and with a sudden burst of energy, flicks off the lightswitch. The room is cast back into darkness once more. The faint tap of a footstep can be heard, and the girl passes through the sharp beam of light that is thrown across the room, momentarily illuminating her. She calmly moves back to where she was sitting, and picks up what can just about me made out as an alarm clock. In one long, slow movement, she returns to her position on the floor, huddles up to protect herself from the cold, and her eyes fix once again on the clock. Alone in the cold, damp room.
For you see, she is alone every second besides when with him. He has no idea what an impact he has, and how could he? She sits alone, depressed, feeling empty and uninspired to move, other than to stare at her clock. But he changes everything. He'll be here soon, and that's when she'll blossom into the beautiful creature he fell in love with.
And sure enough, a short while later, he strides in, switches on the light, both in the room and in her heart. She looks up and an enigmatic smile explodes onto her face. He speaks gently, and almost in a whisper, says "Hey, Lizzie." And with that he changes everything. He is the soul alchemist. And he transforms her.
Interesting use of the theme. Realy like the first paragraph. The last two paragraphs are a bit minimal making the ending seem tagged on. But overall it is good, and quite a good idea.
Um... I go on the side of a yes for this :)
Actually I think the middle bit is now worse then it was originally. Possibly a blending of the sharper points in both of them would have worked better.
I do, however, like the ending.
Actually I think the middle bit is now worse then it was originally. Possibly a blending of the sharper points in both of them would have worked better.
I do, however, like the ending.
Lol thankyou Mr. Bob.
Wow just great,great,great,great.
In a room, a small beam of sunshine casts light onto an opposing wall, illuminating the soggy, damp wallpaper. It is clear that light doesn't enter this place very often. The beam of light is a sharp contrast to the rest of the room - the darkness has consumed all visibility, and the only thing the naked eye can make out is the vague shadows of the largest items in the room - what looks like a bed, a cabinet, and in between, curled up in a ball and keeping eerily still, a figure rests, moving in nothing but breath and not making a sound at all. A burglar could enter this room and have no idea that it was occupied. A window is open, and blowing in the gale, sending a piercing breeze through the room, but the figure doesn't flinch, doesn't make any effort to close the window, and doesn't react in any way to the cold. Just stays perfectly still. Perfectly lifeless.
In a sudden flash, light explodes around the room. A lone lightbulb that hangs from the ceiling glares out a hideously bright light, and the girl covers her face to shield the sharp, intruding light that moments ago didn't exist. The girl looks disorientated, as if she's just awoken, and chances are she fell asleep waiting for him. Regaining her composure, she stands, and her long, jet black hair falls elegantly onto her shoulders and her fringe falls over her eyebrows, obscuring most of her face from view. She is tattily dressed - wearing nothing but an old tanktop and a small pair of shorts, even in this blistering cold. Her figure is small and frail - not in an underfed, neglected way, but just that she is of a petite build. Her feet are bare, and covered in scrapes and blisters. She reaches up slowly to brush the hair out of the way of her vision, and a pretty yet sad face is revealed. She looks mature and caring, yet a deep immense sadness lies deeper in her eyes. Grudgingly, she walks towards the door, leans an arm lazily against the wall, and with a sudden burst of energy, flicks off the lightswitch. The room is cast back into darkness once more. The faint tap of a footstep can be heard, and the girl passes through the sharp beam of light that is thrown across the room, momentarily illuminating her. She calmly moves back to where she was sitting, and picks up what can just about me made out as an alarm clock. In one long, slow movement, she returns to her position on the floor, huddles up to protect herself from the cold, and her eyes fix once again on the clock. Alone in the cold, damp room.
For you see, she is alone every second besides when with him. He has no idea what an impact he has, and how could he? She sits alone, depressed, feeling empty and uninspired to move, other than to stare at her clock. But he changes everything. He'll be here soon, and that's when she'll blossom into the beautiful creature he fell in love with.
And sure enough, a short while later, he strides in, switches on the light, both in the room and in her heart. She looks up and an enigmatic smile explodes onto her face. He speaks gently, and almost in a whisper, says "Hey, Lizzie." And with that he changes everything. He is the soul alchemist. And he transforms her.
In a sudden flash, light explodes around the room. A lone lightbulb that hangs from the ceiling glares out a hideously bright light, and the girl covers her face to shield the sharp, intruding light that moments ago didn't exist. The girl looks disorientated, as if she's just awoken, and chances are she fell asleep waiting for him. Regaining her composure, she stands, and her long, jet black hair falls elegantly onto her shoulders and her fringe falls over her eyebrows, obscuring most of her face from view. She is tattily dressed - wearing nothing but an old tanktop and a small pair of shorts, even in this blistering cold. Her figure is small and frail - not in an underfed, neglected way, but just that she is of a petite build. Her feet are bare, and covered in scrapes and blisters. She reaches up slowly to brush the hair out of the way of her vision, and a pretty yet sad face is revealed. She looks mature and caring, yet a deep immense sadness lies deeper in her eyes. Grudgingly, she walks towards the door, leans an arm lazily against the wall, and with a sudden burst of energy, flicks off the lightswitch. The room is cast back into darkness once more. The faint tap of a footstep can be heard, and the girl passes through the sharp beam of light that is thrown across the room, momentarily illuminating her. She calmly moves back to where she was sitting, and picks up what can just about me made out as an alarm clock. In one long, slow movement, she returns to her position on the floor, huddles up to protect herself from the cold, and her eyes fix once again on the clock. Alone in the cold, damp room.
For you see, she is alone every second besides when with him. He has no idea what an impact he has, and how could he? She sits alone, depressed, feeling empty and uninspired to move, other than to stare at her clock. But he changes everything. He'll be here soon, and that's when she'll blossom into the beautiful creature he fell in love with.
And sure enough, a short while later, he strides in, switches on the light, both in the room and in her heart. She looks up and an enigmatic smile explodes onto her face. He speaks gently, and almost in a whisper, says "Hey, Lizzie." And with that he changes everything. He is the soul alchemist. And he transforms her.