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As a chair is drawn from the table, I take a seat. Hoping not to see... her. There she is, right in front of me. Her taunting beauty I can not bear. Such nice eyes, I can't help but stare. I gape with a full mouth at her silky black hair.
Bunched up, in her group of fame. Me with my mates, and a feeling of shame. I feel like a pawn in her little game. I feel so small. In a cramped little ball. But most of all- I don't even care, in this dining hall.
As she walks by, I feel like I should cry. As if I were to die. She hooks up with more friends. The torture never ends. I count the seconds of her to leave. Relieving me of my grieve. She walks so slowly, chatting away. Do I really have to stay? She closes further towards the doors. This is just one of my painful chores.
Bunched up, in her group of fame. Me with my mates, and a feeling of shame. I feel like a pawn in her little game. I feel so small. In a cramped little ball. But most of all- I don't even care, in this dining hall.
As she walks by, I feel like I should cry. As if I were to die. She hooks up with more friends. The torture never ends. I count the seconds of her to leave. Relieving me of my grieve. She walks so slowly, chatting away. Do I really have to stay? She closes further towards the doors. This is just one of my painful chores.
I didn't spot the rhymes at first - didn't realise they were intentional, so it may have been better formatted as a poem. I enjoyed it though.
Pretty good, yeah.
Some of the rhymes were a bit forced, but a good little story / poem / thing nonetheless.
Some of the rhymes were a bit forced, but a good little story / poem / thing nonetheless.
Asher wrote:
> That's a nice little poem, you have potential, I think in this
> competition thoguh you need something much longer, it feels like as
> soon as my attention was held by your piece I'd finished reading it.
Well, the rules did say it could be as long as we wanted. And in the end, it's not quantity but quality that is more important.
Glad you all liked it though. Thanks!
> That's a nice little poem, you have potential, I think in this
> competition thoguh you need something much longer, it feels like as
> soon as my attention was held by your piece I'd finished reading it.
Well, the rules did say it could be as long as we wanted. And in the end, it's not quantity but quality that is more important.
Glad you all liked it though. Thanks!
Lost for words that was great.
That's a nice little poem, you have potential, I think in this competition thoguh you need something much longer, it feels like as soon as my attention was held by your piece I'd finished reading it.
Thats, like, beautiful man! Wow...yeah..So deep..its like, true in all our hearts. Like. Yeah. Man.
As a chair is drawn from the table, I take a seat. Hoping not to see... her. There she is, right in front of me. Her taunting beauty I can not bear. Such nice eyes, I can't help but stare. I gape with a full mouth at her silky black hair.
Bunched up, in her group of fame. Me with my mates, and a feeling of shame. I feel like a pawn in her little game. I feel so small. In a cramped little ball. But most of all- I don't even care, in this dining hall.
As she walks by, I feel like I should cry. As if I were to die. She hooks up with more friends. The torture never ends. I count the seconds of her to leave. Relieving me of my grieve. She walks so slowly, chatting away. Do I really have to stay? She closes further towards the doors. This is just one of my painful chores.
Bunched up, in her group of fame. Me with my mates, and a feeling of shame. I feel like a pawn in her little game. I feel so small. In a cramped little ball. But most of all- I don't even care, in this dining hall.
As she walks by, I feel like I should cry. As if I were to die. She hooks up with more friends. The torture never ends. I count the seconds of her to leave. Relieving me of my grieve. She walks so slowly, chatting away. Do I really have to stay? She closes further towards the doors. This is just one of my painful chores.