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"I need you to do me a favour (involves Paul Ross)"

I'm writing a little short story thing on Paul Ross - media ho, ligger and cable TV maestro - and I need you to find me as much information on him as you can. I've had a quick flash through Google to try and find some of his stuff, but ideally I'd like some concrete info on him - age, where he lives, marital status etc. And if you could find me some of his reviews, I'll shower you with virtual kisses.

Also, if you could think of some Z-list celebs that Paul could be matey with, I'd be very grateful. So far I've got Steve Penk, Gary Numan, Dr Fox, Danny from HearSay and Kevin Keegan.

I've just remembered that he was in celebrity Fame Academy. He was the first one out, but he probably had time to forge close relationships with Ruby Wax and Jo Brand.

I seem to remember a wife and three children watching in the audience.

Father Has met Paul Ross.

I would imagine that his celebrity friends include accidental racists Ron Atkinson and Jim Bowen. Whilst on a darts tip, he probably knows Eric Bristow quite well.

I'd imagine that his musical heroes include members of Dire Straits and Status Quo.

Doesn't Michael Winner write for the NotW too? They'd get along.

The sagacious one wrote:
> Here you go matey:
>
> [URL]http://www.bbc.co.uk/insideout/southeast/presenter/[/URL]
>
> [URL]http://www.sparksoft.clara.net/trweb/paul.htm[/URL]
>
> I hope you make the story about the review where Paul doesn't give a
> 5 star rating to an action film with dumb dialogue and no plot.

That's top stuff mate, sterling work.

Two things I remember about Paul Ross:

1) He called the film 'The Sweetest Thing' "one of the funniest films of all time" - surely the most utterly ridiculous comment in a career founded on them.

2) Someone on some program sometime (maybe his brother) said the recorded message on his answering machine is "I'll do it".

He has a brother. I think he has a mum and dad too, but don't quote me on that.

Here you go matey:

[URL]http://www.bbc.co.uk/insideout/southeast/presenter/[/URL]

[URL]http://www.sparksoft.clara.net/trweb/paul.htm[/URL]

I hope you make the story about the review where Paul doesn't give a 5 star rating to an action film with dumb dialogue and no plot.

I wouldn't even think about giving them a 5p piece.

Well the whole "story about Paul Ross" thing sounds even worse than buying the paper. its only about 70p anyway.

Geffdof wrote:
> He reviews films in The News of The World every Sunday so you might
> want to check that out.

But wouldn't that require... accquiring it somehow? Like... spending... money on it?

I seriously hope you're joking.