A long time ago (1981) in a galaxy far far away...

A carpenter named Jumpman kept a giant ape, named Donkey Kong, in a cage as a pet. This giant ape, for legal reasons, has nothing to do with the classic movie King Kong (or the Peter Jackson remake) except that the ape is larger than the average ape, is named Kong, and climbs a large building with a girl in hand later to fall to his death. I don’t see any similarity myself, and neither did the courts when Universal tried to sue Nintendo...

Anyway, Jumpman, now known as Mario, mistreated his large pet. Donkey Kong could not take Mario’s evil punishment any longer and decided to grease his fur with the oil from the barrels near his cage so he could slip through the bars in his relatively small cage and escape. As an act of vengeance, he kidnapped Mario’s mistress, Pauline (what would the Princess say?) and climbed up a building. Thus, the first of Mario’s platforming series of games was unleashed on us all.

As this is a classic game, you need to think back to the days of magnetic tapes being used to load games, consistent crashing after waiting five minutes for the game to load, basic bleeps and blurts as sound effects and about 2 and a half colours being visible on screen at a time. This was the evil Mario’s first adventure after all. Allegedly, this is the world’s first platform adventure, and seeing as it was made for arcade machines originally before its console release on various non-Nintendo platforms and the Nintendo Entertainment System, it makes for decent game. For the purpose of this review, I have been playing the ‘NES Classics’ version of Donkey Kong from the Game Boy Advance range...on my Nintendo DS.

Donkey Kong is basically a classic run and jump game where the idea is to rescue Pauline from your mis-treated pet ape as he goes on a rampage.  Donkey Kong sits at the top of the screen across three single-screen stages as various obstacles attempt to block your way.

Stage one involves various sloping platforms that Donkey Kong uses to throw barrels at you. These barrels can follow the sloping paths, fall down ladders or just drop down the platforms, occasionally bouncing in a diagonal pattern. When these barrels come into contact with another barrel at the start of the stage, a fireball is produced which can travel through the stage, including up ladders. Coming into contact with these barrels or fireballs is fatal. So you need to time Mario’s progress very carefully to either jump over the barrels and fireballs or climb the ladders. Suspended above two of the platforms are hammers that Mario can use to smash barrels in their travels. Whilst holding a hammer, Mario cannot jump nor climb. The hammers only last a limited time so you can’t get too comfy smashing barrels and gaining points. If you get Mario to the top platform, Donkey Kong climbs higher up the building taking you to stage two.

Stage two is trickier again. Less platform, more jumps as elevators take you up and down the stage. Mario can use ladders and the elevators to take him to the top of the stage, but is still hindered by fireballs climbing up and down the ladders. Donkey Kong is also armed with spring loaded barrels^* that are fatal to touch. Stay on the elevators too long and you’ll meet Mario’s maker.^** Again, reach the top platform and Donkey Kong ascends to stage three.

Stage three is slightly harder again. This consists of a number of platforms held together by ladders and rivets. Run or jump over the rivets and they disappear. Remove all the rivets and the platforms tumble (with Donkey Kong) meaning you have defeated the beast and saved the girl! It’s not as simple as it sounds though. There are strange creatures that crawl along these platforms intent on sucking your life dry. Unlike the fireballs and barrels, they hold a limited intelligence, not seeming to follow any patterns as they climb ladders, change direction and get in your way. These can be defeated by the two hammers included in this stage but still they’ll still cause a menace. Once you’ve saved Pauline, stared at her for a short while on a fresh platform that appears out of nowhere, and listened to a nice jingle, it all starts again...just at a harder level of gameplay.

As with most games of the 8-bit generation, this was a point-busting game. Jumping over barrels, fireballs and the other random creatures causes you to gain points. On stages two and three, Pauline’s items^*** seem to be lying around to collect for additional points. Complete the stage quickly and you’ll also be given bonus points.

Now for the normal stuff: The graphics are basic and rarely consist of more than a few colours. The audio is basic and blippy. The soundtrack, limited as it is, is recognisable twenty-eight years later by gamers today!  Even for a NES game, the style is very basic. But give the game credit, it spawned the most successful games character in the world!

When it comes down to it though, Donkey Kong, although enjoyable in small doses, doesn’t really stand the test of time. It’s too short, gets very difficult very quickly and should be reserved for the NES consoles that still work. You’re better off with Super Mario Bros if you want classic Mario action. The Game Boy game, also titled Donkey Kong, is a far superior version which takes Mario and Donkey Kong through many more stages involving keys, locks and switches.

Donkey Kong is available on Nintendo Entertainment System, Game Boy Advance (in the NES Classics range), Wii Virtual Console and I’m sure its appeared on many other systems both licensed and non-licensed (especially in the tape-loading generation). 

5/10


^{*At least, that’s what I assume them to be...
**Not Shigsy though...it’s just a phrase...
***We assume them to be Pauline’s. They may in fact belong to Nintendo transvestite Birdo’s, or infact Tinkywinky of the Teletubbies. How should I know? And who am I to judge?}