To replicate this game without buying it, follow these simple steps:
1)    Enter a game shop and look at the box art
2)    Shake box up and down a bit while imagining the half
        naked ladies are moving
3)    Grab some tomato ketchup and splash it all over the cover
4)    Repeat

Ok, so that’s not the whole story and you’ll probably get thrown out of the shop for smearing ketchup all over a game box, but it gives you a general idea of the game.  Conan is unashamedly a hack and slash game with some extra moves, tons of gore and a fair amount of nudity (of the female kind) thrown in. 

Levels range from underground passages to pirate ships and temples, but you need to do pretty much the same thing in all of them, namely to dismember and decapitate the inhabitants in various interesting ways.  Imagine Mortal Kombat, the 8-bit barbarian game and Heavenly Sword all in one.  That’s not to say it’s dull, there are combos to learn and some lovely swords which you can use two of to slice and dice as you see fit, but it can be a bit repetitive at times.

The graphics are probably the worst thing about the game.  While by no means PS2-like (as some people may suggest) the in-game graphics can’t match up to something like Heavenly Sword, but the blood, guts and boobs are all there in clear HD for you to see all the same.  It’s the cut-scenes that really show this game up, though.  Despite having Ron Perlman (Hellboy) on board, the voice acting is stiff and is made worse by the terrible animation.  It still has more brains that either of the Schwarzenegger movies though!  While the voice acting is dire, the soundtrack is pretty nice and really enables you to get into the feel of the game.

Most shops will have this game on a budget price, and as such it’s worthy of a play if you’re in to your hack and slash style games, at full price it’s too repetitive and doesn’t stand up to similar games in the graphics department, though.

7/10 (if bought for £15 or less)