SSC12 - Shifting
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You Are Here Chat Home (41) Internet  Creative Writing  "SSC12 - Shifting"
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SSC12 - Shifting
Regular
on 27/06/2007 at 3:40:44PM
Edited: 27/6/07 15:46
Total Posts: 481
Original Post:
The dimly lit corridor behind Julie had eight doors leading from it.  Six of these were tightly sealed shut.  One door led to a small office on the opposite side of the long corridor from where she stood.  The last door, the one she clung so desperately too, gave entrance to a vast enclosed room.  It was five minutes to midnight according to her watch and this was the third time she’d had to visit this area.  Each time she had run a little faster down the corridor only to stop on the threshold.

With the door held open she could see the wall opposite and could place her hand on the left wall but when she looked right there was only blackness.  Taking a deep breath, she checked her torch and released her hold on the door.  It swung gently shut behind her with only a click to indicate that it had closed.

In the darkness the light from her torch picked out the outline of a racking system with baby baths stacked neatly side by side, six shelves high.  That’s what she’d thought they were when she’d first seen them and the impression had stuck.  She managed to take two steps into the room and swept the beam of her torch before her, swinging it left and right, and shivered.  The room was always cool, kept several degrees lower than body temperature.  The baths closest to her were empty but others deep within the room had contents and the lower temperature kept these contents fresh and lethargic.  Julie felt that the room was too silent almost as if something was willing her to move deeper.  She knew her imagination was working overtime, knew that she had wound herself up to near hysteria, but she no longer cared.  Mere seconds seemed like eternity as she struggled to find the door handle and raced to the sanctuary of the office.

Julie wanted out there and then but the external doors were all locked and she was on her own until 5.00 am.  She huddled in the corner with her hands clasped tightly around her knees.  A clock on the wall showed the hour as midnight; only five minutes had passed.
Were the guys laughing at her? she wondered. Was this some strange initiation that they always put women through?

When Julie had arrived at the building she’d been shown around, that is she had been instructed to not open any doors, under any circumstances, expect the office where she crouched and the door immediately opposite.  The contents of the other rooms were worth thousands of pounds and nothing was to be disturbed in them.  The only other instruction had been not to worry about the sound of dripping water from behind a door unless it stopped dripping.

Now her imagination took full control from her logical reasoning.  In one room she’d heard a buzzing and knew the room contained flies, thousands of flies.  In another room she’d imagined carcasses writhing and swore that she could hear the sound of bones hitting the floor.  But even her own imagination shied away from the room with the dripping noise. Was it really water she wondered.  Of course it was – what else could it be?

Julie realised that at sometime she’d raised her head and was staring intently at the door; almost as if she expected the inhabitants of the other rooms to have escaped.  Were they even now working their way towards her?  She shuddered and told herself that she was being unreasonable but her erratic heartbeat wouldn’t be quietened.  Then something moved out of the corner of her eye.  Julie swung her head around but there was nothing there – there is always nothing there.  She yelped in shock as she felt the walls behind her move.  Jumping up she fled to the middle of the office and spun in place.  Trying to see behind her, in front of her, at her feet and above her all at the same time.  All was still.  Of course the walls hadn’t moved it had only been her own skin crawling.  Still keeping this vigil she climbed onto the desk and waited.

In the early morning silence the sound of a car door was a loud and welcome disturbance.  Julie jumped off the desk and picked up her belongings.  It wouldn’t have looked good if someone had caught her crouching there.  By the time the inner door opened she had collected herself and smiled at Alan as he wished her good morning.  To his enquiry of how the night had been she shrugged and replied that had been a quite and uneventful night.  In the early morning light the terror that had held her up until 5 minutes ago wouldn’t be told of to anyone.

Julie left the office and walked to her car.  Under the pretence of putting her bag on the back seat she swiftly checked the interior of the car.  Walking around it to put her torch in the boot she scanned the interior of that as well just to make sure there was nothing unexpected in there.  Putting the car in gear she drove herself away but as soon as the office disappeared behind some large trees she stopped and got out.  Shiveringly she jumped up and down; shaking at her clothes as she did so.  Then she violently mussed her hair, scraped her long nails across her scalp and got back in.  Julie swore that the security company could fire her before she'd work another night shift at J & T  Maggot and Ragworm Fishing Suppliers.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 Replies:
Mav
Regular
on 29/06/2007 at 1:35:47PM
Total Posts: 191
I think it was at its strongest when you got into her head a few paragraphs in, there was some great stuff as her imagination ran riot.

Before that it felt maybe a tad heavy on description, but a good read overall.
Ineedsleep
Regular
on 29/06/2007 at 10:44:55AM
Total Posts: 481
Pfft!  I mentioned 'midnight' twice in there :D
pb
"Spoooooon!"
Moderator
on 28/06/2007 at 10:21:33AM
Total Posts: 7828
I liked that, some great writing and a good little story.

The only thing against this is that the link to the subject is fairly tenuous...
Ineedsleep
Regular
on 27/06/2007 at 3:40:44PM
Edited: 27/6/07 15:46
Total Posts: 481
The dimly lit corridor behind Julie had eight doors leading from it.  Six of these were tightly sealed shut.  One door led to a small office on the opposite side of the long corridor from where she stood.  The last door, the one she clung so desperately too, gave entrance to a vast enclosed room.  It was five minutes to midnight according to her watch and this was the third time she’d had to visit this area.  Each time she had run a little faster down the corridor only to stop on the threshold.

With the door held open she could see the wall opposite and could place her hand on the left wall but when she looked right there was only blackness.  Taking a deep breath, she checked her torch and released her hold on the door.  It swung gently shut behind her with only a click to indicate that it had closed.

In the darkness the light from her torch picked out the outline of a racking system with baby baths stacked neatly side by side, six shelves high.  That’s what she’d thought they were when she’d first seen them and the impression had stuck.  She managed to take two steps into the room and swept the beam of her torch before her, swinging it left and right, and shivered.  The room was always cool, kept several degrees lower than body temperature.  The baths closest to her were empty but others deep within the room had contents and the lower temperature kept these contents fresh and lethargic.  Julie felt that the room was too silent almost as if something was willing her to move deeper.  She knew her imagination was working overtime, knew that she had wound herself up to near hysteria, but she no longer cared.  Mere seconds seemed like eternity as she struggled to find the door handle and raced to the sanctuary of the office.

Julie wanted out there and then but the external doors were all locked and she was on her own until 5.00 am.  She huddled in the corner with her hands clasped tightly around her knees.  A clock on the wall showed the hour as midnight; only five minutes had passed.
Were the guys laughing at her? she wondered. Was this some strange initiation that they always put women through?

When Julie had arrived at the building she’d been shown around, that is she had been instructed to not open any doors, under any circumstances, expect the office where she crouched and the door immediately opposite.  The contents of the other rooms were worth thousands of pounds and nothing was to be disturbed in them.  The only other instruction had been not to worry about the sound of dripping water from behind a door unless it stopped dripping.

Now her imagination took full control from her logical reasoning.  In one room she’d heard a buzzing and knew the room contained flies, thousands of flies.  In another room she’d imagined carcasses writhing and swore that she could hear the sound of bones hitting the floor.  But even her own imagination shied away from the room with the dripping noise. Was it really water she wondered.  Of course it was – what else could it be?

Julie realised that at sometime she’d raised her head and was staring intently at the door; almost as if she expected the inhabitants of the other rooms to have escaped.  Were they even now working their way towards her?  She shuddered and told herself that she was being unreasonable but her erratic heartbeat wouldn’t be quietened.  Then something moved out of the corner of her eye.  Julie swung her head around but there was nothing there – there is always nothing there.  She yelped in shock as she felt the walls behind her move.  Jumping up she fled to the middle of the office and spun in place.  Trying to see behind her, in front of her, at her feet and above her all at the same time.  All was still.  Of course the walls hadn’t moved it had only been her own skin crawling.  Still keeping this vigil she climbed onto the desk and waited.

In the early morning silence the sound of a car door was a loud and welcome disturbance.  Julie jumped off the desk and picked up her belongings.  It wouldn’t have looked good if someone had caught her crouching there.  By the time the inner door opened she had collected herself and smiled at Alan as he wished her good morning.  To his enquiry of how the night had been she shrugged and replied that had been a quite and uneventful night.  In the early morning light the terror that had held her up until 5 minutes ago wouldn’t be told of to anyone.

Julie left the office and walked to her car.  Under the pretence of putting her bag on the back seat she swiftly checked the interior of the car.  Walking around it to put her torch in the boot she scanned the interior of that as well just to make sure there was nothing unexpected in there.  Putting the car in gear she drove herself away but as soon as the office disappeared behind some large trees she stopped and got out.  Shiveringly she jumped up and down; shaking at her clothes as she did so.  Then she violently mussed her hair, scraped her long nails across her scalp and got back in.  Julie swore that the security company could fire her before she'd work another night shift at J & T  Maggot and Ragworm Fishing Suppliers.
 
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